Marriage, Sunnydale Style
by Heather11
Summary: Buffy and Spike finally find themselves planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there...AU/Fantasy
1. Default Chapter

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

**************************

Chapter 1

"No."

"You won't even think about it?"

"Uh...no."

"Bl-"

"Don't even say it."

"-oody hell, woman." Blue eyes stared defiantly into hazel ones. Both pairs sparkling with the instant intensity each fight brings.

"It's 'woman' now? I have a name. Buuufffyyy," she said, slowly, as if talking to a five year old. "Say it with me."

"Not the girl power bit, please," Spike sighed. "Luv, I just wanna be comfortable."

"This is not about comfort, hon. You will not be doing your very best Johnny Cash impersonation on my speci-"

"'My'? I thought it was 'ours'," Spike interrupted, scarred eyebrow raised.

"Uh-huh," Buffy agreed, patting his hand in a way that said, "I'll play along with your delusion, sweetie". She turned on the couch, crawling slowly to him and sat on his lap, facing him. She gently kissed his lips, licking his bottom one for good measure. Spike's breath hitched in his throat.

"I'm sorry, Spike. Okay? When I said no, maybe," she paused, thinking. "Well, I actually did mean no. In fact I'm going to amend that to a hell no."

Spike, despite himself, chuckled softly. "Y'know, pet, I could just say yes to the monkey suit and then wear what I want anyways." At this, Buffy burst out laughing and didn't stop until she couldn't breath. Tears were in her eyes and he clearly heard her snort a couple of times. "It's not that funny of a statement, Buffy."

She laughed even harder, wiping a few of the tears that had broken free. Her laughter died down to soft giggles as she tried to compose herself and regulate her breathing. _This is going to be fun_, she thought sarcastically. She shook herself, still trying to regain her composure as Spike stared at her, clearly exasperated.

"I'm sorry, again," she said, beginning to laugh once more but quickly covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head back and forth, willing herself to stop. "Man, I needed that. Thanks, honey." She gave him another, longer kiss. While her mouth was still on his, she opened her eyes and saw his starting right back. She leaned back and sighed. "I said sorry. I try to make with the smoochies and you still look pissed off."

"I mightily am, luv."

"Jesus, is it so important to wear that awful suit?"

"You get to wear what you want and I-"

"You think I'm going to be comfortable?" Buffy asked, in shock. "Such a guy."

There was a knock on the door, interrupting any retort Spike was about to give. Instead, he shouted to come in and in they came, carrying bags, magazines, food and the prerequisite alcohol that Spike needed in order to get through this without committing himself to the local institution.

Xander peered around the corner that separated the kitchen from the living room. "Coming at a bad time?"

"No," Buffy said, a bit too quickly. "I am allowed to straddle my boyfriend if I so choose."

"Ugh with the visuals," Xander replied, holding up a six pack of bottles. "Beer?"

"God, yes," Spike answered, lifting both himself and Buffy off the couch and setting her down. He walked over to Xander and grabbed the bottle from him. "Thanks, mate." They tipped their bottles in each other's direction and drank. The three made their way into the kitchen, greeting Cordelia, Willow and Tara.

"Margaritas or mudslides?" Cordelia asked, holding up the mixture bottles.

"Any preference, ladies?" Buffy asked Willow and Tara, who both pointed to the margarita mix. "Oh, yeah. Good choice, girls." Buffy looked around. "So where is Anya? Lindsey? Giles? Dawn? Are they blowing us off?"

"Anya and Giles are still at the shop. There was a bit of a shoplifting problem. Kid's probably more scared of Anya than the police," Willow told her as she set out the glasses.

Tara grabbed the margarita pitcher and handed it Willow. "Dawnie said she would be here as soon as she stops at home to shower and change. She didn't want to and I quote, make everyone gag with her repugnant smell. End quote." Tara threw Buffy a smile.

"Ah, yes, the glorious days of being a waitress. At least it's not the Double Meat. That's a rinse and repeat numerous times," Buffy nodded knowingly.

"And Lindsey had a client meeting but he'll be here asap," Cordy yelled over the noise of the blender. "All done! Pitcher please?" Cordy poured the contents into the huge green pitcher that came with the margarita set the girls had bought for Buffy as an apartment warming present.

"Salt, glasses and limes are a go," Willow said as she set down the salt dish. "You guys want?"

"Uh, no, we're drinking manly beers here," Xander answered, looking wistfully at the margarita that Cordy was pouring.

"Don't be pathetic," Cordy sniped, practically shoving the glass in his hand. She winked at him and continued to fill more of the glasses.

"Hey, now, doesn't the bride-to-be get the first drink?" Buffy pouted. Xander looked at her sheepishly, handing the drink to her. "Thankies!"

"And the poof is where?" Spike asked no one in particular but knew he'd get answer from someone.

"I'm not a poof!" Xander yelled defensively. "Just because a guy may enjoy the cool, refreshing taste of a margarita every once in a while doesn't mean-"

"He's in L.A.", Cordy interrupted Xander's tirade. He noticeably flushed with embarrassment.

"And he's not a poof," Buffy said, smiling at Spike, who smiled in return. "Would it kill you to be the tiniest bit kind in regards to him? You wouldn't be where you are if it weren't for him."

Spike sauntered over to her, that sly grin on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Are you talking about the job or you, pet?"

"Actually, the job but come to think of it, you should be grateful for the other." They smiled at each other lovingly and suddenly heard a simultaneous groan from everyone in the apartment.

"Put me out of my misery," Xander griped.

"Jealous much?" Cordy snickered. "In any event, he's staying with Darla. The surprise-to-everyone pregnancy isn't going so well..."

"Someone please explain how those two soulless beings created a child?" Spike inquired, furrowing his brow.

"I don't know much about it, but I've read that when the man emits his sperm-"

"Tara!" everyone yelled in shock. She grinned and refilled her glass.

"One margarita and see how she gets?" Willow asked, stroking Tara's hair. "The way I hear it, Darla's actually gained some humanity in all the pregnancy. She's being, dare I say it, kind to people."

"Yeah, she even apologized for biting me that time when I flirted with Angel at the Bronze," Cordy put in.

"God, that was bizarre. That was right around the time I moved here," Buffy stated, shaking her head. "Believe me when I say I was glad to not have to contend with her when I dated Angel."

"Apparently," Cordy continued, "She has this fear that she's going to kill the kid once it's born. Like she's not prepared for motherhood or something. I told her it was probably natural to feel that way, that she was just being apprehensive about the impending birth. All she said was that she appreciated me trying to appease her, but she was well aware that she was thinking insane thoughts. I did not disagree."

"I still can't believe they got back together after all these years," Willow threw in. "It would be romantic if their entire relationship didn't border on twisted."

"Darla and Angel, I presume?" Dawn asked as she walked through the door. She saw Buffy and Spike, who were still holding each other and she rolled her eyes. "Can you two go an hour without the separation anxiety kicking in? Ooh, margaritas!"

Buffy released herself from Spike and stood between Dawn and the drinks. "What are you doing?"

"Getting a drink, obviously."

"She is twenty-one, now," Tara reminded her, quietly.

Damn, I forgot that. "I don't know...Cordy put quite a kick in these and if you aren't planning on staying here..."

"Like Tara said I am twenty-one now," Dawn argued as she reached around Buffy and grabbed a glass. "Besides nursing one drink over the next couple of hours does not a drunk person make." She looked around at everyone and shrugged to herself. "So...are we standing around here for a reason or can we, you know, be comfortable?" She didn't wait for an answer and walked into the living room. The rest followed suit, bringing the goods with them.

*****************************************


	2. 2

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

*****************************************

Chapter 2

"How about this one?" Dawn asked Buffy holding up the magazine.

"Now, I know you are joking," Buffy answered, scrunching up her nose in disgust. "There are bows. Bows are the work of the devil." She took another sip of her drink and leaned back on the couch, resting her head on Spike's outstretched arm. "Besides, I've picked out my dress. I just have to actually purchase it."

"Was it the one at Helson's?" Willow asked, her face lighting up at the thought. Buffy nodded, a large smile breaking out on her face as well. "Spike won't be able to make it through the ceremony."

"Why's that now?" Spike asked.

"It's...um...very nice," Willow muttered, giggling.

"Luv, you can't torture me. You can not wear anything that will lead to inevitable torture of the lower regions. I forbid it."

"You forwhat it?" Buffy asked cracking up. "The day you forbid anything I do, is the day that I am no longer on this plain of existence."

"All the boys will be in torture. Our dresses are very drool worthy," Cordy added. "So much better than Anya's bridesmaid dresses." The girls all shuddered in memory of those horrid neon green dresses.

"Yeah, she was definitely wearing the wedding goggles," Buffy commented.

"Wedding goggles?" Xander asked at a loss.

"Like beer goggles...but in regards to a wedding. Everything looks beautiful and great and

then you realize, holy shit, what was I thinking? Although, I have yet to see Anya get to that point."

"I thought you looked nice. A little bright, but still beautiful," Spike murmured in Buffy's ear.

"We've had this discussion. Radioactive coloring leads to looking luminescent." Buffy sighed as she remembered the wedding and started to laugh. "Do you remember when Anya's old boss's gift got away? What the hell was that again?"

"A snake," Dawn answered, not finding it amusing at all. "Yeah, it was really great. You didn't have to go looking for it. Who actually gives someone a snake as a wedding present? Isn't that just...odd?"

"Anya is a bit odd, so..." Xander remarked.

"You should be the one to know," Cordy pointed out. Seeing him flinch visibly, she instantly felt bad. "Sorry, Xand. Tactless girl strikes again."

"Hey, I'm over it. No big." No one really believed that but they all nodded to reassure Xander that they did, even though he, himself, knew that no one believed him. It was hard to convince people you were over something when you couldn't even convince yourself.

"Find yourself a hot date for the wedding?" Dawn asked.

"I'm going in blind," Xander said, a goofy smirk on his face. "As in date."

"You're going on a blind date at my wedding?" Buffy shook her head. "No, this won't be any good. You and women are like...well, what if she's evil?"

"Not to worry. Wes and Gunn wouldn't do that to me. Uh, right?" he asked not as confident as he once was.

"Met the bird. Cute, nice, shy...doesn't seem to be harboring any delusional May Queen fascinations or Capitalist ideas," Spike jumped in quickly.

"She just moved up here from Texas, right?" Tara asked and Spike nodded. "Yes, she's very nice. You might actually like her a lot, Xander."

"Are we talking about the girl who was published in Science Weekly?" Willow asked, astonished. "I didn't mean to sound so surpri...not that Xander couldn't date the smart girl..." Cordy quirked her eyebrow in offense. "I mean, every girl he's dated is smart and I'm just going to be quiet." She turned to Tara and muttered, "Don't let me talk anymore tonight."

"Okay, sweetie," Tara whispered, giving her a kiss on her temple.

"Published in the what weekly? Is she a geek? Am I suddenly going to feel like less of a man when I meet her?" Xander asked, looking around worriedly.

"Suddenly?" Dawn quipped.

"Is she smarter than you, Willow?" She shrugged in response. "Oh, man, Will's right. I can't date the smart girl. I usually feel lacking in that area anyways and now I'm going to have to try and impress someone when I won't have a clue as to what she's talking about? Forget it. I'm not going. Nope. Not doing it. Can't date the smart one."

"Hey, mister! One of your exes is sitting right here. Have some decency," Cordy complained.

"I've never realized before just how incestuous your little gang of friends are, Buffy," Dawn commented. Everyone looked at her, mouths agape. She continued to flip through the magazine in a nonchalant fashion. "Well, think about it. You dated Angel and Spike, Xander's fooled around with Willow, dated both Cordy and Anya, Anya's now married to Giles, who, shudder to say, had sex with our mother, Cordy and Wes had a fling, now she's with Lindsey who if I remember slept with Darla at one time." Dawn took a breath, still not noticing the wide-eyed expressions on everyone's faces. "Gunn and Wes both liked this new girl and I think she went on a couple of dates with Gunn but then he met Gwen so that ended the Fred thing, Wes hooked up with Faith, who has come on to anything with a penis including but not limited to Xander, Angel and Spike." She took another breath. "You know, Angel seems to get around about as much as Xander."

"I do not get-"

"It seems the only one who has not made the rounds a lot is Willow. I guess it's a good thing you realized you liked the ladies," Dawn teased.

"One lady," Willow said defensively.

"Anyhoo, I'm just saying maybe you guys should, you know, branch out a little bit. Try dating people that aren't in the inner sanctum," Dawn stated matter-of-factly.

"And who are you bringing to the wedding, Miss Smarty Pants?" Buffy asked her irksome little sister. Dawn finally looked up at Buffy, her face resembling that of those in the room. "Oh, that's right. Connor...and he's who? Oh, Angel's brother. Riiighht."

"He's not my date in the technical sense. He's the only one there who is my age so you put us together. I don't need a date."

"Wait...Wes is with Faith?" Xander asked, a little more of his ego deflating.

"Sure, a couple of months now. Since she's, and I sarcastically say, turned herself around. Apparently, Wesley had a lot to do with that. Never mind the fact that he was hurt the most while she was on her tear of the West Coast," Cordy answered haughtily. "Besides, that's not important...Dawn, how do you know all this stuff and why don't I know it?"

"Duh, no one notices me, especially when I was younger so I could easily eavesdrop on everything. I bet I know a lot more about all of you and those that aren't here than any of you actually know," Dawn told her, smirking. The friends all looked at each other, flashes of fear in their eyes, all trying to desperately remember any embarrassing stories told when Dawn could have been present. "Like a deer caught in headlights...I finally understand that expression."

"I have plenty on you, too, girly. Don't you forget that," Buffy warned.

Dawn ignored her sister as she stood up from the floor, gathering her things. "I'd say my work here is done." She leaned over giving Buffy a quick kiss on the cheek and did the same to Spike. "I'll see you guys for breakfast at the house, tomorrow, right?" They both nodded, shock still coursing through them. "No later than 10 Mom said because then it's brunch and she doesn't want to cook lunch. See ya guys!" And with that she was gone.

"Uh...does anyone else feel like we're on Candid Camera? Like any minute that annoying man or maybe Suzanne Somers will pop out and be like hardy har har?" Tara asked, looking around her, hoping that someone will agree that the evening spiraled into Bizarro World territory.

"That show sucked when they brought in Suzanne Somers," Xander acknowledged.

"Apparently, Dawn is a force to be reckoned with. She could seriously hold the key to all of our downfalls," Cordy said, visibly shaken. "And can someone please reassure me that my boyfriend did not sleep with that vampy tramp?" Everyone looked away, at their shoes, the ceiling, whatever they could find to not have to look at her. "God, she's right. You know that scary commercial with the guy and girl in bed and the guy is, of course, insisting that they don't need a condom, he's clean but then all their exes come in the room, along with everyone they've slept with and the big scary announcer says something like you sleep with everyone that the person you're sleeping with has slept with? That's us." After a moment of thought, everyone grabbed their drinks.

*********************


	3. 3

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

*********************

Chapter 3

"Mom?" Buffy called out, entering the house.

"Kitchen!" Joyce responded. Buffy made her way there, smelling the waffle-y goodness. Joyce was chopping strawberries and looked up, smiling and then looked confused. "Where's the groom?"

"Angel called. He asked Spike to pick up a case since Angel couldn't do it," Buffy told her, picking up a strawberry. "Mmm, yummy."

"Is Angel suddenly deficient? Wait, don't answer that."

"Mom...I get enough Angel bashing from Spike, can you just not?"

"Sorry, honey, but we've had this planned since last week specifically because Spike doesn't have to work on Saturdays."

"I know," Buffy said, a bit annoyed. "But with Darla and the pregnancy, things are bit hectic right now. I actually was very impressed that Spike said yes. I figured he'd tell him to 'sod' off."

"Darla's pregnant?" Joyce practically screeched. "I didn't even know she was back."

"As the story goes, she came back, they had a night of passion, she took off again and then showed up on his door step seven months later with a 'Hey, Daddy' and so he's just trying to adjust."

"Crazy," Joyce muttered to herself, shaking her head. "Well, since Spike's not joining us, how about we go down to Helson's and buy you a wedding dress?"

"Ooh, yes, please!" Buffy jumped up and down excitedly. "We should also pick up your dress...if you ever decide on what you want to wear..."

"I actually did find something and it's not at what you so endearingly refer to as Muumuus 'R Us. I just wanted to have you see it first, make sure you like the color and what not. I know you'd give me an honest opinion."

"Of course. Is it at Helson's?" Joyce nodded. "Good, then it's a one stop kind of deal. We still need to order the flowers and get the cake thing situated. I need to get Spike to come with me for that. He's been dragging his feet a bit about the entire situation. If I weren't so sure that he loved me, I'd say he didn't want to do this."

"How'd the discussion about the tux go?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Awful. He picked up a black suit. All black. It's not that it's bad but it's not a tux and this wedding is going the traditional route. I want the whole nine yards...whatever that means."

"He does like black, Buffy. And if it's not an ugly suit..."

"No, no, no. It's not going to happen. I plan on telling him that he can change into it after the bulk of the wedding is done. You know the pictures, meal, cake shoving and the garter-flower toss thingy. But I'm letting him stew in his juices for just a bit first. Besides, Spike in that all black suit?" Buffy got a far away look in her eyes. Joyce waved her spatula in front of her face. Buffy blushed instantly. "Oh, sorry."

Dawn came in through the kitchen door, jogging in place as she shut it, bobbing her head to the music coming out of her walkman. She jogged over to Joyce and Buffy each giving them a quick kiss and pointed up and jogged off.

"Since when does Dawn jog?"

"She's apparently on some sort of health kick. What do we know about this Connor boy? Is he anything like his brother?"

"I think he's more disaffected, if that helps any. Angel brooded and Connor sulks. There's a difference."

"I'm not dealing with a mopey Dawn, Buffy. It was bad enough when you were dating Angel and constantly walking around like a wounded puppy."

"It was not that bad, Mom. We had our difficulties but on the whole it wasn't so bad. And hello? Not with him anymore so can we please for the love of all things get off the Angel thing?"

"What Angel thing?" Dawn asked, returning to the kitchen.

"Nothing, Dawn. We were actually talking about Connor and as always Mom went off on a tangent about Angel."

"Not as always," Joyce argued. "Dawn, what do you know about Connor?"

"I know he's fairly tall, skinny, needs a haircut and is allergic to smiling. Other than that, nada."

"So you know only superficial things, then?" Buffy asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Hey, it's not my fault he doesn't own a pair of scissors. I don't know why I need to explain this to you two of all people but you can not tell a person's personality by looking at them. If he's a good guy, I don't know...all I know is what I said before."

"Well, if he's going to be escorting you to the wedding, I at least want to meet him first."

"It's not a date! What did you tell her, Buffy?" Buffy raised her hands in a gesture that said she didn't say anything. "He was at the office, I was at the office picking up some stuff for Spike and you know...he asked if we could have dinner or and I'm quoting here 'something' and I said sure. I don't even know if he'll be my date for the wedding so can we please pass on this topic until more info is gathered?"

"Sure, honey," Joyce agreed as she brought the food into the dining room. They took their seats like nothing had ever changed and easily fell into a light conversation about the wedding, staying clear of all things Angel and Connor.

*********************************


	4. 4

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

*********************************

Chapter 4

Spike entered the apartment, taking off his duster and hanging it on the coat rack. He walked over to the refrigerator, grabbed a beer and then he heard it.

Oh shit.

Fiona Apple was playing in the other room. He leaned against the refrigerator, closed his eyes, his jaw clenching with the sudden tension that was tearing through him. He took a sip of his beer, removed it from his lips and immediately replaced it, taking a longer drag on the bottle. He began to pace along the kitchen floor, thoughts and questions flooding his brain.

The sodding Sullen Girl is playing. This can't be good. I can't just go in there. I can't stroll in with a "Hi, pet" and pretend nothing's wrong. And I can't exactly start off with "what's wrong" because that could get me into trouble for not knowing what I've done. Suck it up, Spike. You're not helping her by pacing in the bleeding kitchen.

He listened for another minute, realizing that it was on the last song of the CD, which made him even angrier because that was just something he should not know. He breathed a sigh of relief and began to walk down the small hall to the living room when he heard another song start.

"I'm killing whoever invented the shuffle option," Spike muttered to himself as he rounded the corner and saw Buffy sitting on the couch, nodding her head to the music and looking at photographs. She looked up briefly and looked back down again, not even acknowledging his presence. _Fuck. I'm in some deep shit, huh? I haven't even done anything...have I?_ Then he realized. _Damn tuxedo. Bain of my bloody existence you are._ "Luv? I was thinking tomorrow we could go to the tux place and pick out whatever it is that you want me to wear." He sat next to her on the couch, picked up a couple of the black and white photos she had shot and looked at them, waiting for her to answer.

"That was the plan regardless," Buffy answered, still not looking at him. "Do you like this one?" She handed him a picture of the two of them from around five years before. "Mom wants a board of photos that sort of chronicle the relationship for the wedding shower. I like this one. Yeah?"

He smiled, remembering that day at the beach. He nodded his head. "So you're not mad, then? About the tux thing last night?"

"Nope."

"Than what's with the Apple chit." Spike nodded his head to the stereo and Buffy rolled her eyes in response. "Well, it usually doesn't bode well for me, luv, when you're playing the girly depressing piano rock stuff." She gave a small laugh and went back to studying the pictures. He saw one from the one and only other time he had ever worn a tux. Her senior prom. "This one, ducks?"

She smiled and took it from him. "See? You wore a tux then, you survived just fine."

"Honestly, luv, I wore the tux because I thought it would increase my chances of getting in your pants than if I had worn the jeans and t-shirt bit."

"And see how well that turned out?" She gave him a sexy smile, licking her lips slowly and biting her lower lip. She knew what drove him crazy. He groaned softly and she smiled again. "You're too easy, you know."

"I certainly am your slut," he said, smiling. "In fact, how about I throw these photos on the floor and slut you up nice and proper like?" He didn't wait for her answer and pushed them off the couch, moving over to where she was sitting. She laughed as he leaned forward, kissing her passionately. She felt instantly light-headed from the contact and knew that nice and slow were not in the cards for her tonight. After what seemed like forever, Spike removed his lips, both of them catching their breath. As soon as he had, he leaned back but Buffy ducked her head away.

"Spike...this is great but I can think of something better," she said in her sultry voice.

"Right, bedroom it is, then." He put his arms around her waist, lifting her off the couch and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

"No, here would be fine but that's not what I'm talking about, honey." He looked at her confused, the look slowly turning back to desire as she moved her hips against him. She kissed him on the nose, put her hands on the sides of his face, making sure he was looking her in the eyes. "We really need to do something about this."

"Eh, yeah, pet, that's why I'm heading to the bedroom."

"No, silly, the wedding. You remember that little thing we have in a little less than 3 months?" Spike inwardly groaned but nodded his head. "We really have to discuss the cake situation and the most important thing is picking out the invitations which is what we're doing tonight so put me down so..." She began to have trouble keeping track of her thoughts as he began to slowly kiss her neck, lightly biting here and there. "So...we...can...do...that. Spike, I'm not...ooh...kidding."

He growled in defiance of what she was saying and headed to the bedroom anyway. Buffy began laughing, knowing full well that she could pick the invitations after they were finished.

A lot of sex and then invitations, she thought as he threw her on bed and began unbuttoning her jeans, sliding them down her legs. _I'll definitely get him to sit down with the invites after this. For sure_. All thoughts then left her mind as he started to kiss her stomach, working his way back up to her mouth.

***************************************


	5. 5

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***************************************

Chapter 5

Wearing his Clash t-shirt, Buffy climbed back into bed with the book of wedding invites. Spike put out his cigarette and sighed. Buffy shot him a look that clearly said don't start and opened the book with flourish, making sure she made a big production of it just to drive him even more insane.

"Luv...invites? Not really my cuppa tea."

"What is your cup of tea in regards to this wedding? There are four things you have to do. Four! The first and most important, show up, the second get a tux, the third help me with the invites and the fourth pick out a cake. Now do you want my list of things that I need to do? I guarantee you don't and you certainly don't want me to start complaining about them because you'd rather live in ignorance when it comes to this whole thing and if you didn't want to do it, then you shouldn't have asked!"

Spike stared at her, having no idea where her outburst came from. "You alright, pet? You seem a bit...on edge and you'd think after what we just finished doing'-"

"Christ on crutches!" Spike couldn't help it, he laughed out loud. "Now it's funny? I'm so glad you are taking this as seriously as you are. It really gives me the warm and fuzzies."

"Sorry, Buffy, truly...but c'mon...Christ on crutches? Where'd that come from?"

"It came from a place of total aggravation in regards to you and your total apathy in regards to this!" Buffy held up the invitation book and shook it. "We are supposed to be doing this together and yet you seemingly want nothing to do with it."

"Together? Last night, it was all 'bout your special day, remember that?"

"Oh, please, I was trying to make a point about the tux. I wasn't saying that your help was not needed with all this." She shook her head in annoyance. "Good thing I have such good bridesmaids or I'd be knee deep in this shit." Buffy tossed the book to the foot of the bed in disgust and flopped down next to Spike.

"So...we're not looking at the invites, then?" Buffy groaned and got out of the bed, walking into the living room. Two minutes later, Spike heard Fiona Apple playing again.

**********************************


	6. 6

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

**********************************

Chapter 6

Buffy fell back on the couch, beer in hand and looking over the pile of photos that were still on the floor. She bent over, picking them up and putting them back on the couch. She began to hum along to the music, taking the occasional sip of her beer. She sorted through the photos, running her hand over them, shuffling them about. She came across the one Spike had picked up earlier. The one from her senior prom. Willow had picked up her camera and took the picture of them dancing, neither one aware that it had even happened. She couldn't help but smile as she thought about how that night had come about. The sadness surrounding the situation and the relief that Spike had found her when he had...

Flashback

Buffy felt something brushing against her hands that were covering her tear-soaked face. She wearily looked between her fingers, seeing a handkerchief being fluttered at her. She removed her hands from her face and looked at the hand again, her eyes traveling up to see one of the most, no scratch that, the most beautiful man she has ever come across looking at her with great concern. Her shaky hand took the handkerchief and she gave him a brief smile.

"You're Buffy, right?" She looked at him in shock. _How could possibly know that? Should I be nervous? Is he an axe-murdering circus freak?_ "I didn't officially meet you last week...I was in the library...with Rupert?"

"Oh...right." Buffy sniffed and wondered if she should use the handkerchief to blow her nose. It seemed rude to do so because who would want that back? "I'm sorry...you're who?"

"Spike. You alright?"

"Bad day. Your name is really Spike?" She giggled softly and he felt a lot of tension flow out of him that she was no longer crying.

"William, but I don't look too favorably on those who call me that," he answered, smirking. "Want to talk about it?"

"With you?"

"No one else here, luv, so yeah."

"My boyfriend and I broke up. So...tears, sadness, breathing being an issue at times."

"Ah, I see. Poof?"

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked, bewildered.

"Is he a poof?"

"I'm fairly certain I have no idea what you mean by that but I'm going to say...no."

Spike laughed and said, "Does he bugger other blokes?"

"Oh my god, no!" Buffy broke out in a huge grin then looked shyly at him. "You do mean does he have sex with other men, right?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

"Why would you even ask something like that?"

"Figure something's a bit not right if he's breaking it off with the likes of you."

Buffy looked down at the ground, blushing instantly. "Uh, thanks?" Deciding to instantly change the subject she asked, "You know Giles? You don't really look like the librarian type."

"Didn't you know all British people know one another?" She looked him, trying to figure if he was pulling her leg. "I'm kidding, luv. Rupes used to run the library that I went to growing up."

"I thought he worked in an orphanage."

"That'd be the one."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Buffy said, feeling very stupid.

"You put me there?" Buffy shook her head no. "Nothing to be sorry for then, is there? Do you mind if I...?" He gestured to the bench Buffy was sitting on. She nodded, moving over a bit so they weren't sitting too close together. "So you and the poof...why'd you end?"

"He's not a poof." Buffy smiled which he returned. _Great face, great eyes, great smile...not good._ "It's a long story."

"I've got nowhere to go."

"I do. Class...you know what that is?"

"Yeah, went to it until I graduated two years ago. Orphan, not stupid, luv."

"Oh, I didn't mean...I thought that you were...I mean, I don't know what I mean anymore."

"S'alright. Not actually offended. Well, if you gotta go, you gotta go. Don't wanna be late for class, right?"

"It's not like that's never happened." Buffy sighed and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief. "Do you, uh...do you want this back? I could wash it and then give it to Giles to give to you."

"Why don't you give it to me tomorrow night?"

"What's tomorrow night?"

"That's when I'll meet you at that poncey club you've got here in this town."

"The Bronze? It's not poncey...Can you not speak British or whatever until I get used to it because I get confused enough with English."

"You plan on getting used to the way I speak, then?" Buffy blushed yet again and shook her head. _This is so embarrassing_, she thought. "I figure tomorrow...give you enough time to wash that properly." He shot her the slyest grin she'd ever seen and she felt her stomach do a flip-flop. He stood and reached out his hand to help her up. She took it, gave him a small smile and ran off in the direction of the school entrance.

End Flashback

Spike stood over Buffy and watched her sleeping. The picture of them at her prom lying on her chest, beer bottle dangling from her fingers. _God, I love this woman. And here I am calling Angel a poof..._ He carefully took the bottle from her fingers, placing it on the coffee table and did the same with the photograph. Trying not wake her, he slid his arms under her body and lifted her slowly.

"Spike?" she asked, sleepily.

"Shh, I gotcha, baby. We're going to bed now." He brushed his lips against her forehead.

"Good, bed with Spike is good." She yawned and buried her head into the crook of his shoulder, deeply inhaling that wonderful scent of him.

*************************************


	7. 7

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

*************************************

Chapter 7

Buffy woke to the smell of coffee, bacon and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. She stretched and instantly noticed that Spike was not next to her. She looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table and shot out of bed. _How could he let me sleep until 10:30? I have too many things to do today._ She quietly made her way down the hall to the kitchen and smiled when she heard Spike singing as he prepared breakfast. _The Who? Might not be a bad day after all._ She cautiously looked around the wall to see him pouring coffee into her mug and placing in on a tray. _He planned breakfast in bed? _Buffy instantly felt like mush and smiled again. He started to turn around and she had to contain the squeak that would have given her away. She quickly got back in the bed and feigned sleeping.

"Buffy?" he called when he entered the bedroom. "Luv, I know you're awake. After all these years, can just kind of sense you when you're sneaking around behind me..."

Try as she might not to, she smiled slowly and opened one eye to see that fantastic smirk that got her from the get-go. "Breakfast in bed? Who are you? Where's Spike?"

Spike opened in his mouth in shock and snorted. "I've made you breakfast in bed before, ducks. How quickly you forget."

"You mean nine years ago? The morning after we slept together? Sure, that was great. Totally got me hooked right in. Thought I'd always be getting food delivered to me in bed...but that ended straight away."

"Look, I know I missed the breakfast yesterday with your mum and not to bring up what is a sore subject, I was a bit of a cad last night..."

"So this is breakfast bribery?"

"See, you making it sound all sordid and what not. I'm just trying to make amends."

"You brought me in from the couch, you were instantly forgiven. Maybe we should be getting a new couch? You could be spending a lot of time out there in the future."

"Is that how it's going to be, then? And 'ere I am busting my cute little ass in the kitchen, trying to make up for the bad invitation session last night..."

"Spike," Buffy interrupted, taking his hand. "Shut up. It's forgiven, all is right with our world. And did you call your own ass cute?"

"You can't deny that, pet. Is nothing but the truth."

"Amen, brother love. Tray, please? I am famished." Along with the coffee, orange juice, and bacon, he had made her his famous cheese omelet. "Ooh, the omelet? You must've been feeling really bad."

"I did use the word cad."

"Honey, you do realize that a lot of the time when you use that British slang, I just nod like I understand what you're saying but in fact..." Buffy made a motion with her hand flying over her head.

"You're not used to it yet?"

"Nope, guess you'll just have to stick around and keep teaching me." She flashed him a smile that made him want to toss the tray and ravish her instantly. Instead he watched her shove a big piece of omelet into her mouth, munching away, smile still plastered on her face. "Mmmm....orgasmic."

"You know you're not funny, sweets. You're bordering on just plain mean now, ya know." The phone rang breaking them out of what they both knew would turn into having to clean a breakfast off the wall in an hour.

"Hello?" Buffy asked, mouth still filled with omelet.

"Buffy? It's Angel."

"Oh, hey, Angel. How's it going?" She swallowed and took a drink of her orange juice. "Darla doing alright?"

"Yeah, I'm slowly getting the hang of this pregnancy thing. Hot, cold. Sour, sweet. Crunchy, soft...it's been interesting to say the least."

"Well, if there's anything that we can do for you, just ask." Spike rolled his eyes at her and shook his head, popping a piece of bacon in his mouth. "So what's up? Did you want me or Spike?"

"Spike, actually. It's about that case he went on yesterday."

"Oh, well, it's Sunday, you know? Supposedly God even rested on this day."

"I just need to ask him something quickly and then I'll be done with it. But I can talk to you first."

"Don't do it just to do it, Angel."

"I'm not!" he said a little too adamantly. He chuckled softly and asked, "Why is this suddenly weird?"

"I was just wondering the same thing. Let's just chalk it up to equal parts stress for both of us. Sound good?"

"Sounds great. How is the wedding coming along? Ready to pull every bleached follicle out of his head yet?"

"That feeling comes and goes. I did want to ask you if you had a chance to look into that thing for me?"

"I was actually working on that-"

"It's not what you gave Spike, is it?"

"No, Buffy...I know this is a secret. I'm not deficient." Buffy tried not to laugh as she didn't want to hurt his feelings but she could just hear her mom in her head after he said that. "With the Darla thing, I've been a little distracted. But I did get a lead from Giles."

"Really? He always said he didn't know anything."

"Well, from what I can gather from Anya, he didn't want Spike to be disappointed which sort of leads me to asking, are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure he wants this?"

"Yes, I'm sure but I don't really feel like talking about that other aspect right now."

"Well, Wes is currently working on the lead. He said he'll call as soon as he gets anything. He's hoping he'll sort through it by this afternoon. Is Spike still there?"

"Yeah and he's looking at me funny."

"Am not." He leaned in and nuzzled his mouth against her neck and she suddenly felt his tongue glide up her neck. She contained the moan that she could feel in her chest. She yanked herself away, shaking her head. "It's not so funny when the tables are turned, is it, pet?"

"Angel, I'll talk to you about that later, okay? Here talk to Spike. My breakfast is getting cold." She handed the phone to Spike and gave him a dirty look.

"What you want, Yoda? I have my woman to tend to and we both know this bloke does not work on Sunday," Spike said as soon as he put the phone to his ear. Buffy moved the tray to her side and kneeled on the bed, picking up the tray again and crawling to the other side of the bed and putting the tray on the floor. Spike took the opportunity to smack her rear hard as she bent over and yelped in both surprise and pain. "What's that? No, I didn't find one bloody thing. What kind of assignment was that? Yeah, well, it was a shit assignment. Nothing to be found." He was barely paying attention to any explanation Angel was giving him. He was too busy watching Buffy rub the spot where he smacked her. He sat up a little and adjusted his pants, sitting on the bed again. "Yeah...no, I doubt it. And since when do we do divorce cases? Thought we didn't get into the sordid side of it all..." He watched as Buffy slowly turned around, that look he knew all too well in her eye. _Hell yeah, it's pay back time_. He got an evil look on his face as he realized he was still talking to Angel. He suddenly didn't want to get off the phone.

Buffy made her way across the bed again, pushing him against the headboard, running her hand down is chest in what was one of the most painful strokes of his young life. She licked his stomach, tracing his muscles with her tongue and she giggled softly when the muscles twitched. She continued the torture until she reached spot they both wanted her to reach. She looked up, her eyes clouded with lust and met his, not surprised to see the same look in his.

"Ohhhh..." Spike moaned, instantly forgetting that he was talking to Angel. "Uh, what?...Ohhhh...sorry, Buffy's giving me a...uh, massage...Gotta go, talk to you later about this." Without waiting for Angel's response, he hung the phone and looked down at Buffy. "You're evil...pure evil, ya know that?"

"Mmm-hmm," she moaned and that was about it for Spike.

*************************************************


	8. 8

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

*************************************************

Chapter 8

"Pet, now don't take my head off for saying this 'cause I know you want this Mayberry sort of wedding...but if 'm gonna have to do this than I have to insist that my opinion is taken seriously. Don't do that thing where you pretend to be listening."

"I do a thing?" Buffy asked, feigning ignorance.

"Y'know certainly well what you do. I'm not saying we get black invitations but 'm not far off from begging that we don't get some bloody awful pastel and flower thing that would make me want to heave."

"Butterflies?" Spike shot her a look that showed his distaste for that idea. "Okay...no pastels, no flowers, no butterflies...I'm going to assume no rainbow-y type things, which I wouldn't want anyways. Spike, you do realize that we've pretty much cut out every kind of invitation there is."

"That book is bigger than the bloody bible...there's not one that we can decide on?"

"There was one I could decide on but you're all with the 'no flowers, pastels, butterflies'...it kind of had a combination of the three. And not one of these invitations don't have one of those things," Buffy told him, exasperated.

"Alright...I'll give you flowers but no bleeding butterflies and now 'Im begging, no pink. I won't marry you if you're picking pink."

"But pink is my signature color," Buffy teased in a horrible Southern accent. Spike looked at her like she had seven heads. "Steel Magnolias?" She noticed the blank expression on his face and shook her head. "We've been together for years and I've never made you watch Steel Magnolias? I'm obviously falling down on the job."

"I think I'm forever grateful that you have." Spike looked over at the coffee table and the pictures from the previous night. "Hmm...can't we make our own?"

"What do you mean? Like on the computer? I suppose it would save on money, but I did budget out for-"

"Not what I meant. Instead of some nancy-boy design that we know I won't like and I don't want you to settle...why don't we design our own?"

Buffy contemplated his idea and a huge grin erupted on her face. "That is an incredible idea, Spike! In fact, that totally makes up for all previous non-committal participation for this event. So what were you thinking?"

"I have to actually come up with something? The idea wasn't enough?"

"C'mon, Spike, we're actually onto something here...let's not get lazy now. I'm open to any and all suggestions at this point." Buffy paused for a moment. "Not black, though. No pink and no black."

"Can live with that, pet. Maybe a photo? Or maybe we could get your mum to whip something up? I'm not really one with the creative. I'm more with the chaos, y'know?"

"Oh, I know. I like the photo idea. Like for the front of the invite and then having the info on the inside? You pick the picture. I gotta make a phone call."

"Luv," Spike called after her but she just continued to walk to the bedroom. "Don't wanna pick the bloody picture. Won't pick the right one, y'know. Shouldn't really be leaving this up to me." Buffy continued to ignore him and closed the door to the bedroom. "Well, let's just see what we've got here." He grabbed a handful of pictures and began flipping through them. He smiled upon seeing the ever present prom photo and put that one to the side, along with pictures from Willow and Tara's wedding, a showing at Joyce's gallery and Dawn's high school graduation party.

Satisfied with his choices, he picked them up and walked down to the bedroom. Pausing before he entered, he heard Buffy still talking on the phone. He placed his ear on the door, feeling instantly guilty for eavesdropping but far too intrigued not to do so. He flinched a bit when he heard her say the name Angel and he suddenly felt jealous, although he knew he shouldn't. He didn't understand why she insisted on being friends with the man who broke her heart at one time as he wasn't friends with Drusilla or thank heavens, Harmony. She didn't feel the need to remain in contact with Riley so it always bothered him a bit that she did with Angel. Not that he would ever press the subject or even try to make her not to be because that would only spur her on more. He jumped a bit when he heard Buffy very clearly yell, "That's fantastic!" and couldn't help but wonder what Angel could possibly tell her that would be so fantastic. Deciding that standing at the door, begging to be caught snooping around wasn't the best of plans, he turned on his heel and made his way back to the living room.

************************


	9. 9

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

************************

Chapter 9

"Luv. Don't wanna pick the bloody picture. Won't pick the right one, y'know. Shouldn't really be leaving this up to me." Buffy heard him say as she made her way to their bedroom. She snickered to herself and closed the door. She picked up the cordless phone from where Spike had thrown it earlier that morning and quickly dialed Angel's home phone number. She searched around for a pad of paper and pen while waiting for Angel to pick up.

"Buffy?"

"Wow, that's creepy."

"Caller I.D.," Angel told her, a hint of laughter in his voice. "You calling about the name?"

"Yeah, we're finally about to pick out an invitation and I wanted to be able to say hey guess who you are..."

"Well, I'll ask again. Are sure he wants to know who he is?"

"Honestly, Angel, his parents aren't something that we spend a lot of time discussing. Sometimes on his birthday...which we're still not even sure if that's his actual birthday or not...but it's just not something we do. All I can say is I don't think he wants to use his generic name for the rest of his life. I don't think he wants to give me that name to have and he is dead set against taking my name or Giles'."

"Speaking of Giles, he told me the original place Spike was dropped off at before he was transferred to the orphanage for the older kids. I had Cordy contact them and they wouldn't tell her anything."

"That's not good. So the lead went nowhere? I thought you sounded a bit optimistic this morning, guess I read that completely wrong."

"Let me finish, Buffy. Since I couldn't go running over to England, I sent Wesley. He went to the place, gave them the probable date of abandonment, explained that he had only recently discovered that he had a half-brother on his mother's side and desperately wanted to find him. I think he may have even shed a few tears because before you can say real identity, the woman handed Wes ten folders with names and information on the male babies that had been brought in during the month of November."

"And? You know by dragging this out, you run the risk of me dragging you out, Angel."

"It's Young."

"What's young?" Buffy asked, thoroughly confused.

"His last name. Wes called a few hours after I got off the phone with you and told me that he narrowed it down to two boys named William who would fit a baby Spike's description-"

"Wait, how could he be so sure? I mean, what if there were others named William that didn't come in November? Or if there were other William's and Wes got the description wrong? Or-"

"Buffy, calm down. Wes is very good at these things. It's why I hired him. We know for certain that Spike was born in November. The day may be a few days off but according to the first orphanage's records, he was no more than a week old when he was dropped off. So from November, there were three boys named William. One did not fit Spike's description at all. Coloring was off...black head of hair, brown eyes, and he had a scar on his stomach from when he was born."

"Which Spike doesn't have."

"Right. Wesley took the two remaining William's records and brought them to the Davies Orphanage, gave them the same story he gave the first place and soon enough we have a name and a birth certificate. By the way, his birthday is the fifteenth."

"That's fantastic!" Buffy screamed in excitement, mentally hoping that Spike didn't hear her. "Oh my god. William Young. Spike Young. Buffy Young..."

"Mr. and Mrs. William Young. I get it, Buffy," Angel said a bit more tersely than he meant to.

Buffy didn't notice at all. "I can't believe this. Really, Angel. All this time of looking, searching for anything...this is the most wonderful thing in the world. I can not thank you enough."

"One more thing, Buffy. As far as we can tell, Spike's parents are dead. We can't find anything on them besides their names. Martha and Patrick Young. Wes said he'd be happy to look into their records, if you want..."

"You know what? I'll let Spike decide that. All I wanted was to be able to give him his real name. Thanks again, Angel. I will probably say that a billion more times over the course of our lives and it will never be enough." She quickly said good bye and hung up. She stood in her bedroom for a moment and suddenly began to jump up and down in excitement. She finally stopped and breathed in and out, trying her best to regain some composure. She could not go back out there, grinning like a fool. He'd instantly know something was up and she didn't want to spoil the news. It was going to be hard enough not to run in there, jump on his lap and scream "Your name is Young!" at the top of her lungs. She wanted to do this right. It needed to be done a certain way. Making a decision, she took a few more calming breaths and went back into the living room.

"Hey, how'd the picture choosing go?" she asked as she flopped onto the couch, throwing her legs on his lap. He handed her the pictures. She barely looked at them and said, "Great. We'll just have to pick one."

"So who were talking to?"

"Oh, Mom. I wanted to tell her the new plan about the invites."

Why in the bleeding hell was she lying about talking to fucking Angel? "And what she think?"

"You know, great idea. Really original, yadda yadda. So, now that we have that figured out, we need to decide how we're going to word it. The names, you know. Like I would prefer that we have William..."

"That's fine," Spike answered her, his voice full of tension. She saw the muscles in his jaw line clenching and she couldn't help but wonder why. "People might not know who the hell is getting married with William Smith and Elizabeth Summers on the invite."

"Uh...why Elizabeth?"

"That's your name, isn't it?"

"No. We went over this two nights ago. My name is Buffy."

"It's not short for Elizabeth?" Buffy gave a small laugh and shook her head. "All this time..."

"And you didn't even know my real name. I'd be offended if I actually wanted to sit and think about it."

"Didn't mean to offend, luv. I jus' didn't think Buffy was a name someone would actually give someone."

"Ask my mother about it," Buffy said with a smile. "I think it may have had something to do with thirty-six hours of labor and lots of pain killers. Can't be certain, though." She took a deep breath and looked at him. He was staring straight ahead, jaw still clenching and for the life of her, she didn't know why he had his pissed off face on. "So the invites will say William Young and Buffy Summers, okay?"

"Sounds goo...wait, did you say Young?" Spike asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

Buffy got off the couch, parted Spike's legs and kneeled in between them. She took his hands in hers and breathed in deeply, letting it out slowly. She knew he was waiting and none too patiently. "Okay, um...well, I kinda lied about who I was talking to..."

"'Kinda'? You did, pet. You said your mum and you were talking to Angel."

"You know what? I'm too happy right now to even confront you on how you knew I was talking to Angel. After you asked me to marry you and after that happy yes I'll marry you sex session we had, you said you wished that you could give me a proper last name. Not the name the orphanage gives the kids when the parents request not to have their name given. So I called up Angel and asked him to look for me."

"You did what?" Spike asked, eyes wide in shock.

"Please don't be mad. I wanted to give you something tangible. Something that I knew you needed even if you pretend like you don't. I know you're probably angry that I went to Angel of all people but he's good at what he does, at finding out information that doesn't want to be found." She looked at Spike, who was still staring at her in amazement. "Spike? Say something. Anything. Talk to me, yell at me for doing it but please say something."

She watched as his eyes welled up with tears, his hands squeezing hers so hard, she thought he was going to break them. He suddenly let go of her hands and grabbed her by the upper arms, dragging her body up to his, laying her against his chest. She could hear his heart beating so fast, could hear his breath hitching in his chest, could feel his shaky hands stroking her hair and she heard him very quietly say, "Thank you, Buffy. Thank you so much."

***************************************


	10. 10

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***************************************

Chapter 10

Flashback

The Bronze was hopping for a Thursday night. Dingoes Ate My Baby always brought in a good crowd, but Buffy couldn't help but think it was just a tad too stuffy in the club. Willow was bouncing contentedly in her seat, watching her boyfriend, Oz, on stage. She smiled at Buffy and saw something she didn't expect to see.

"Hey, Buff? You alright?" Willow asked, concern etched on her face. Buffy looked at her blankly, not understanding why she was asking her that. "You're all sweaty and pale. Are you sick? Do you want to go home? Oh, no...is he who shall not be named here?"

"No, I'm fine. It's just really hot in here. Isn't it really hot in here?" Buffy asked, fanning herself absently with the now washed handkerchief.

"Hey Scarlett O'Hara, you want a drink or something?" Xander asked, grinning at his own quick wit.

"Why are you calling me...oh." Buffy stopped talking, realizing she was using the handkerchief again. "You know, I think I just need a breath of fresh air. I'll be right back."

Buffy slowly got off the bar stool, steadying herself and made her way to the entrance. She saw the bouncer nod to her and she hoped that he would remember her when she came back in. She saw a crate across from the entrance and decided there was as good a place as any to rest for a bit. _I can't believe I'm here. Angel's been gone all of two days and I'm already meeting another boy for a...well, not a date, exactly. Date was never mentioned...it's a thanks-for-lending-me-your-handkerchief-while-I-made-a-fool-of-myself kind of thing. _

"Yeah, that's what it is...just a thank you," Buffy said aloud, trying her hardest to reassure herself that it was anything but a date. She took a deep breath and walked back to the Bronze, this time she nodded at the bouncer and he eyed her appreciatively. She shook her head and smiled, suddenly feeling a bit more empowered. She suddenly felt like she used to. Like a girl who could make boys swoon. She'd forgotten what that felt like over the last two years with Angel. _Boy, does it feel good_.

Buffy arrived at the table, grinning from ear to ear and Willow, Xander and Cordelia noticed instantly. They all looked at each other, unasked questions in their eyes and turned back to look at a still giddy Buffy. She nodded her head to the dance floor and went over, her three dumbfounded friends joining her after shrugging off her complete 180. They laughed, danced and laughed some more when the three girls saw Xander doing his version of the running man. Buffy swayed her hips to the music pounding out of the speakers, freeing herself of everything she'd been feeling over the last few days and just let the music possess her and her actions. Willow saw the look of contentment on Buffy's face and smiled at her. Buffy looked at her, still beaming, and grabbed Willow's hand, swinging their arms back and forth. The two cracked up laughing and continued to give themselves over to the sound.

Spike entered the Bronze, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, knowing he looked as nervous as he felt. _You're acting like a real ponce, you know that, don't you? She's probably not even here and if she is...well, it's not a date...unless she wants it to be._ He walked further into the club, not seeing her anywhere and he sighed in frustration. _You pushed her too early. Great idea, you stupid git, ask the girl who just broke up with her boyfriend to meet you at a club. Did you really think she'd be here?_ His inner monologue stopped completely as he neared the dance floor. She was here. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her despite his brain screaming at him to calm down. Spike walked around the perimeter of the floor, watching her like she was his prey. Eyes narrowed, jaw set in determination, head titled in awe of her, he slowly made his way to the other side of the floor and stopped, letting himself be taken over by the sight of her.

A strange feeling of being watched washed over Buffy. She glanced around, didn't see anyone and shrugged it off. _Good to know the paranoia portion of the night is kicking in._ However, shrug as she may, she couldn't shake the feeling. No matter how hard she looked or how hard she tried to ignore the feeling, it was constantly there and it was beginning to wig her out.

"Looks like you've got an admirer," Cordy said, pointing behind Buffy.

Slowly, Buffy turned around, excitement coursing through her veins. _Don't act like a freak. Be calm. Don't break out in a huge smile when you see him._ She repeated this to herself over and over again, letting it become her inner mantra as she saw him leaning against a pole behind her. He raised an eyebrow, tipping his head to the side and she thought she would collapse right then. Screwing her inner monologue, she flashed him her most winning smile and turned back to her friends.

"I'll be right back!" They nodded and watched her walk over to the boy they had never seen before.

"Who's that?" Xander asked, jealousy tinting his voice.

"Hopefully someone that will help her forget the name Angel," Willow told him, pointedly looking at Xander and shaking her head no to stop him from making any further comments or taking any action. Although Willow's own curiosity was killing her, she knew that when Buffy was ready, she would tell her all about it.

"What's with all the cute ones going for Buffy and I'm stuck with Xander?" Cordy grumbled. Xander looked at her in shock. "Oops, did I say that out loud?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. All was forgiven by the time they let go of each other. "Can we go sit and pretend not to be listening to Buffy and the new boy?" Willow and Xander agreed to the idea and went back to their table, all eyes watching Buffy and Spike talk off to the side of the dance floor.

"You look like you're having some fun. Feeling better from yesterday, then?" Spike asked Buffy, taking many calming breaths while waiting for her answer. He had never been like this before. Not with anyone and especially not with the girls.

"Much. I actually wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for this." She pulled the handkerchief out of the back pocket of her jeans. "Thanks again. I know I probably freaked you out, acting like such a girly girl but it was just...bad."

Spike reached his hand out to take the cloth from her and then changed his mind. "Y'know what, luv? Keep it. Never know when you might be needing that again."

"Do you want to sit with us? My friends and I have a table..." Buffy shifted nervously on her feet, waiting for his answer. Mentally begging her body to calm itself before he ran off out of fear.

"Sounds like a plan, ducks."

Walking over to the table, Buffy said, "You do know my name is Buffy, right? It's not luv or pet or ducks..."

"Does it bother you?"

"Oh, no...I guess not. Just not used it." She looked at him, smiling and as they took their seats at the table, she added, "Yet."

He looked at her in surprise and shook his head in amazement. He begrudgingly tore his eyes from hers and looked at the other's sitting around the table, nodding his head to say hello.

"Guys, this is Spike. Spike, this is Willow, Xander and Cordelia," Buffy told him and pointed to each one of her friends.

"Hi! It's really nice to meet you," Willow said, cheerfully, holding out her hand to shake his, charming Spike instantly.

"So what are you doing talking to Buffy? How do you guys know each other? You do know that she just got out of a long-term relationship, right? Best beware of being the rebound guy," Cordy said, smiling as if she were helping not realizing in the slightest that she once again said too much.

"Uh..." Spike sputtered out, taken aback.

"Gee, thanks, Cordy," Buffy said, sarcastically. Turning to Spike, she said, "I'd apologize for her but she's bound to do it again before the night's over." She smiled shyly and turned back to the group, noticing Oz jumping off the stage. "Boyfriend alert."

"Teeth?" Willow asked, flashing a pearly white smile in Buffy's direction.

"You're good to go." Leaning over to whisper in Spike's ear, she said, "Oz...Will's boyfriend. Cordy and Xand date and if it weren't for you, I'd be the fifth wheel. Not that I'm not used to it...Angel wasn't really one for Bronzing it."

Spike turned his head to look at her and realized that she was still leaning into him. He stopped short, pretending not to notice the close proximity of her lips to his and the tingle he felt run down his spine.

"You can't kiss her already!" Xander cried out, startling everyone. Buffy and Spike quickly moved away from each other. "I don't know who you think you are, mister, but you can't just swoop in here and take advantage of a girl who's obviously-"

"Obviously what?" Buffy broke in, feeling her face get hot with anger. "We were talking, Xander. Chill the fuck out." She jumped off her stool, gave a wave to Oz who had just arrived and was taking in the scene, and walked over to the bar.

"Now look what you did, Xander! You do know that everyone here has free will, right? And if Buffy wants to make out with this guy she just met even though she's supposed to be all broken up about Angel, then I say more power to her!" Cordy yelled, proceeding to jump off her stool and join Buffy at the bar.

"Um, maybe I should go over, too. Solidarity in numbers or something," Willow said, giving Oz a quick kiss on the cheek, Xander a stern look and a brief smile of apology to Spike.

Oz watched his girlfriend walk away and put his hand out to Spike. "Oz."

"Spike," he answered, shaking Oz's hand. "Is it always this..." Spike twirled his hands in the air to indicate chaotic and Oz merely nodded. "Not much of talker, are you?"

"Man, you're British, too?" Xander whined. "Unbelievable!" He stalked off angrily.

"Don't mind him, he'll be back," Oz explained. "He has..."

"A thing for Buffy?" Spike asked.

"Eerily perceptive guy. You'll do just fine," Oz said with a nod, taking Willow's seat.

Spike mockingly breathed a sigh of relief, wiping his brow with his hand, smirking all the while. He glanced over to the girls, who were talking animatedly, at the bar. Willow and Cordy flanked Buffy, Willow's hand on her friend's shoulder, Cordy's hands on her hips and Buffy was munching on a pretzel, nodding her head in agreement. She looked over to the table and met Spike's gaze. She smiled slightly, blushing once again and turned her attention back to the two girls.

"So...guitar," Spike began, kicking himself for the lame attempt to start a conversation.

"Yeah or something like it. You play?"

"Air guitar count?" They both laughed at the comment. "You guys were pretty good. I'm more of a classics kind of bloke but still.."

"Appreciate the effort but we know we suck," Oz said. "I'm fine with it, actually."

"How's it going over here?" Willow asked as the three girls came back to the table. Oz immediately got off the stool and gave a small bow for Willow to sit there. "You look deep in conversation. Talking Dingoes?"

"How can you tell 'deep conversation'? Oz has one facial expression," Cordelia pointed out.

"I resent that," Oz said, face not changing any and Spike chuckled softly. He felt Buffy nudge an elbow in his side and saw that she was laughing as well. "We were actually discussing hair care. Very manly."

"You two are definitely in the running for oddest heads of hair this side of L.A.," Buffy noted. She grabbed her bag from the table. "I have to get home. Dawn's babysitter is probably ready to pull her hair out and I promised Mom I'd be home by 10:30."

"Give Dawnie a hug for me," Will said, giving one to Buffy.

"We'll see if she deserves it," Buffy said, laughing slightly. "If Xander ever reappears, tell him we'll talk about his overly protective behavior tomorrow." She looked at Spike. "Are you going to stay? I mean, you absolutely can, you know, just because I'm going doesn't mean you have to go or whatever because it's not like this is a da- I mean you should stay here. With them. If you want. Or don't or..."

"I can walk you to your car," Spike offered, feeling slightly disappointed that the evening was ending and they barely got a chance to talk or sit, as the case may be. His brain registered that everyone was laughing. "What?"

"Buffy and a car is like a person allergic to cats and owning 20 of them," Buffy stated.

"So you don't drive, then?" Spike was surprised. He knew this was a fairly small town, had a walked the main parts of it plenty of times since arriving but everyone drove.

"Not unless you want to see every citizen of Sunnydale lying dead in the streets from being run over by me."

"Then I'll give you a lift," Spike said, trying in any way to not have to say goodbye right at this moment. Buffy nodded her head in agreement and gave the others a wave goodbye. "Nice meeting you lot." Pausing, he added, "Even Xander." The group laughed and said their farewells.

Walking to the small parking lot, he headed in the direction of a big black car. Buffy stopped in her tracks and began to fidget with her hands, suddenly unsure if she should be doing this. Halfway between the car and where Buffy was standing, Spike noticed that she was no longer beside him and turned to see her looking as if she was about to be murdered.

"You alright, pet?" he asked, walking over to her.

"The big black car is yours, right?" Spike nodded. "It's kind of, well, I don't want to say scary looking but I do kind of want to say scary looking."

Spike feigned hurt. "That's my baby you're referring to, I'll have you know. She can hear you." Buffy looked as though he had sprouted horns. "Would you rather I walk you home, then?"

"Oh, no, I don't want you to do that. Then you'll have to walk all the way back here just to get your car which seems like such a waste of time. I can walk home on my own. Been doing it just fine for the last three years."

"Despite the appearance, luv, I do like to fancy myself a gentleman. I can not let you walk home by yourself. If the car isn't to your liking then the only other choice is to go on foot."

"Spike-" Buffy began to protest. He put a finger to her lips and shook his head. "Are you a good driver?"

Spike tried in vain to not notice the feelings her lips moving against his finger had caused in him and grunted a response in the positive. Clearing his throat, he said, "I learned how to drive in England, luv. It's you bloody wankers who are all backwards." She smiled in response and nodded her head in the direction of the car. "So we're driving then? Y'know maybe one day I could teach you..."

A snort of laughter escaped her and she blushed. "You wouldn't be the first to try and you will not be the last, I guarantee you that."

"Love me a challenge, pet," Spike told her confidently, smirking, opening the door to the passenger side. After she was situated in the seat, Spike closed the door and walked around the car, muttering to himself, "Certainly do love a challenge."

End flashback

**************************


	11. 11

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

**************************

Chapter 11

Buffy drove her Liberty into the parking lot of Sunnydale High. Seeing Willow getting out of her car, she honked her horn and waved. She climbed out, grabbing her bag and setting the alarm. She checked her face in the side mirror and grimaced. She didn't get much sleep the night before and it showed. _Looking like a hag today totally makes up for it._ She smiled brightly and pushed a piece of stray hair from her face.

"And what are you so happy about, Miss Summers?" Willow asked, instantly happy to see her friend looking like a grinning fool.

"Didn't get much sleep last night," Buffy answered, falling into step beside Willow.

"Why are you happy to be sleep depriv...oh never mind," Willow giggled. "I, too, love being sleep deprived."

"You are looking a little worn around the eyes this morning, Will. Late night for you, too?" Buffy asked, nudging Willow's arm playfully.

"Sure, but not in the fun sort of way. I was grading assignments. Some of these kids..." Willow trailed off.

"Anyone you want to send my way? I can give them a stern talking to...or not."

"Actually...Sean Meers is acting way out of character."

"Will, I know I'm supposed to be all open-minded and nurturing and what not when it comes to these kids...and most of the time, I am. But hearing the name Meers...it just gives me the chills," Buffy told her, shuddering visibly.

"You and me both, sweetie," Willow agreed, rubbing Buffy's shoulder lightly, trying to comfort her. "But we both need to remember that this is his brother. For all intents and purposes, we need to help him if he's having trouble."

"True, but would he even feel comfortable talking to us? I mean, Warren hurt us the most during the rampage..." They walked up the stairs to the front entrance of the school and headed straight to the teacher's lounge, waving and smiling to the kids as they walked past. "Hey, Marcus! No running in the halls."

"Sorry, Miss Summers," he said as he slowed down. Confident he was out of sight, he started to run off again. Buffy shook her head.

"I can't even get a kid to stop running in the damn hallway and you want me to sit down another who has been traumatized by his brother's actions, who is clearly rebelling, becoming a bad seed in an attempt to prove he is nothing like said brother, all the while becoming just like him? Yeah, that sounds like fun."

They put down their bags and headed to the coffee station, each grabbing their mugs. Willow poured coffee for the both of them and Buffy grabbed the sugar and cream. Willow was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice the coffee spilling over until the hot liquid splashed on her foot. She yelped out loud and Buffy instantly grabbed the paper towels.

"You alright?" Buffy asked, clearly concerned. Looking at her friends foot, she knew it was nothing serious, just a tad bit red.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Screaming more out of surprise than pain. This is why I'm not supposed to pour coffee, why I never worked at the Espresso Pump...I get too distracted and suddenly, badness," Willow said, placing the cool, wet towel on her foot.

"I have to agree, you and your busy little brain constantly thinking away. You know what? Send him in. Tell him he doesn't have a choice. That he has to come and speak with me. How'd he do on his last assignment?"

"You mean the one he didn't do? Buffy, this is a kid who just two years ago had a 4.0 average and now he's barely pulling a 2. And the thing that pisses me off is that I didn't notice. I didn't see him pulling away from class. He used to be one of the lab helpers and now he's barely awake. He was just so sneaky about his decline, made it so gradual, that it totally slipped right by me."

Buffy thought for a minute, taking in what Willow had said. "Okay, so should I have you come to my office and talk to me, as well?" She smiled at Willow, trying to reassure her. "We're not miracle workers, Will. We teach, we guide, we try our best. We are not here to save the world. All we can do is help keep it running so again I say, send him to me during class, okay? If he tries to protest, refuse, point at the door and give him your best resolve face. I will expect him at my office no later than 8:30. If he doesn't show, I'll send out the brat-sniffing dogs."

"Thanks, Buffy," Willow said, gratitude displayed clearly on her face. They heard the bell ring and instantly jumped to attention. "Well, now we're late and I have to run upstairs with my scolded foot. It's going to be a grreeeaattt day!" Buffy smiled at Willow's not often used sarcasm.

"Lunch?" Willow nodded and they both headed to their destinations. As Buffy entered the front office, she smiled at the administrative assistants, noticing a vase filled with a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the counter. "Who's the lucky lady?" she asked, leaning over to smell the daisies and yellow roses.

"We don't know," Denise, the principal's assistant answered. "The card says Mrs. Young on it but we don't have anyone in the faculty by that name. We think it's a mistake."

Buffy blushed and couldn't help but smile. "Uh, that will be me in a few short months." She grabbed the flowers and waved goodbye to the ladies hearing one of them snidely say, "Well, isn't she just the fairy princess." _Yes, I certainly am. _

Entering her office, she instantly noticed Giles standing at the window, gazing out across the courtyard, absently cleaning his glasses. She cleared her throat and he whipped around, startled, and then a small smile came to his mouth. She put the flowers on one of the many filing cabinets she had and motioned for Giles to sit. She could clearly see that he was perplexed by something and she sighed inwardly. _I don't want nor do I need a lecture right now. So help him if this is about Spike. _

"Beautiful flowers, Buffy. Are they from William?" Buffy nodded. "Or should I say Mr. Young?"

"Maybe you shouldn't say anything," Buffy snapped. Instantly feeling guilty about her reaction, she said, "Giles, I know you're either going to lecture me straight out or talk around the subject but still get your point across. I don't want either. I have Sean Meers coming in here shortly and I want that to be the worst part of the day."

"Sean is coming to see you?" Giles asked, surprised to hear such a thing.

"Well, it's sort of my job. Will said he's been...apathetic would be an understatement, I think. I'm completely not looking forward to it. I mean, what can I possibly say to him? 'You shouldn't take this so hard. Your brother was a dick, but that doesn't mean you have to be'? I don't think that will work." Buffy saw Giles flinch at her use of the word dick and she snickered in her head. _Ha, that's for attempting to make me feel bad for doing something nice for my man. _

"Although, I do appreciate the uncomfortable nature of your upcoming meeting, I have to suggest that you try to refrain from calling his brother anything that is a body part." Despite her hardest attempts, Buffy laughed. "I'm not here to lecture you or whatever else you may be thinking. I suppose I started the conversation off a little harsher than I meant to." He paused, taking a breath. "I'm not angry. I am fully aware of what Angel was doing when he started asking off-handed questions about William's time at Davies."

"You knew? You never said anything..."

"I wasn't going to ruin your surprise for him. Also, I wanted to see the look of shock on your face when I say, job well done, Buffy."

"I'm sorry, my ears are apparently clogged..."

"I don't know why you would think I would be disappointed about this."

"Well...well, because you were all 'he shouldn't know, it will only hurt him' blah blah British blah blah."

"I think I should be taking offense to that," Giles said, chuckling softly. "I never said anything of the sort. I only wanted to protect the boy-"

"He's not a boy anymore, Giles," Buffy interrupted. "And if he wanted to know and you knew anything...I just don't understand why you wouldn't tell him."

"Buffy, I purposefully never knew anything about his parents. I never wanted to have to lie to him if he ever asked and I didn't want to be in the position of telling him."

"Why would you lie to him? That's not like you. You're usually very forthcoming with the all the knowledge...you kind of pride yourself on it," Buffy added, teasingly.

"Yes, well, despite that...People put their children in orphanages for a reason, Buffy. In my years there, I saw the children grow up and wonder where they came from. Some found out and it hardly ever ended with tears of happiness. I didn't want that for William."

"Okay, the protection thing I get. I really do, Giles. It was part of the reason I didn't tell him what I was doing. If we couldn't find anything, I wouldn't be able to handle the look of disappointment in his eyes. But I knew he needed it. And I would think that you being this constant in his life, the only father he's ever known...that you would have realized it, too. That you would see that need beyond the wall he puts up."

"You're right," Giles agreed quietly. "Perhaps I should talk to him. Fill in any holes, answer any questions he may have..."

"He's still trying to sort through it all. Give him a couple of days but I think that would be a really good idea. You knew him when he was child, he's more open to you about his time then. Even with me, he's still guarded, which I understand to some extent. But you were there with him, saw him become the man he is, helped him become the man he is." Buffy paused, breathing deeply. She was suddenly overcome with emotions. Thoughts flooding her mind about what might have been had Spike never known Giles. "If you never moved here, I wouldn't know him. I can't imagine that. I can't see my life without him. I don't want to see it...what he's done for me, Giles...I can't even begin to..."

"I know, Buffy. Believe me, I know. William, and he would probably throttle me for saying such a thing, has an uncanny ability to make a person feel whole."

"I don't know if he'd throttle you, Giles...He might call you a 'bloody poof' but..." They laughed together and any remaining tension about Spike vanished. "You know...after a heart to heart, I like to ask a serious question."

"And what would that be?"

"Okay," Buffy took a deep breath, unconsciously tapping the desk with her hands. "Now you're under no obligation here but we've known each other for quite some time and with the wedding coming up-"

A knocking on the door interrupted Buffy. She glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 8:25. Shaking her head in frustration, she told the person to enter. Buffy knew this was something she was not prepared to do. She had made it a silent mission to keep as far away from Sean Meers as she could. She didn't know how Willow could have a class with him every day and not be thoroughly creeped out. When he entered, her breath caught in her throat. He was skinnier than Warren had been but other than that, he was a spitting image. She quickly took a drink of her coffee, trying to wet her throat so that she could speak. She could feel her heart speed up and her brow break out with sheen of sweat. She hadn't been this nervous to talk to a student since her first day on the job.

"Sean, please come in," Buffy managed to get out. "Mr. Giles was just leaving. We'll talk later, okay?" Giles nodded and left the office. "Do you want to sit?"

"Do I have to?"

"No, you don't have to. Feel free to stand but I suspect we'll be here for a bit..." With an audible sigh, Sean plopped down on the chair and propped his feet on Buffy's desk. Her eyes bulged out in bewilderment. _That little shit...he has no idea what he's getting into._ "Please remove these." She pushed his feet off and they landed on the floor heavily. "Should we just do this straight? No pussy footing around the issue at hand?"

"What issue? I have no issues," Sean said, staring her hard in the eye.

"Oh, so then you're not the Sean Meers who was going to be valedictorian of his class this year and who may now not even graduate?" She saw him roll his shoulders back, attempting to dismiss it but Buffy saw what she was looking for. That flicker across his face of knowing what he has become. That flicker of shame. "Look, I don't want to sit here and give you a list of everything you have done wrong in the last two years. It's not really my way and having gone through the worst of times in high school and dealing with horrible counselors who thought I wouldn't make it past Hot Dog on a Stick, well, I know what it feels like."

"So this is the part where you act like you know what I've gone through? Let me save you some time, Miss Summers. I don't give a shit. And I don't have to sit here-"

"Actually, you do have to. It's either Snyder or me. Take your pick. Believe me, I'm a lot better than him. I try my hardest to be the exact opposite, come to think of it." Buffy gave him a small smile. "Here's an idea. Tell me something. I don't care what it is. I don't care what it's about. It can be anything." She saw him roll his eyes. "Just give it a shot, okay? Sometimes when you start on one thing, it can gradually roll into others."

"You're not my shrink. I have one. He doesn't work."

"Is that the thing you're telling me?" Buffy instantly saw his lips turn up in a smile and then saw that not even a second later, it went back to a scowl. "No, I'm not your shrink. I'm something better. I'm not here to nod at you, give you some drugs and send you on your way. I'm actually here to help you. To listen, to try and understand and get you to try and understand what it is that you're feeling. I'm not the best counselor ever, I am well aware of that. But, Sean, I do try my hardest. I can tell you that for certain."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you want to help me after what that dick did to you?" Buffy smiled at Sean's reference to his brother. "What? It's funny?"

"No, no, sorry. It's nothing."

"So you expect me to spill but you can get away with 'nothing'? What a crock of shit, man."

"Fine. You want me to tell you?" Sean nodded. "I was talking to Mr. Giles about my apprehension in regards to our meeting and had said something along the lines of 'what am I going to say to him? Sorry your brother is a dick'. Gi...uh, Mr. Giles said I shouldn't say that." Buffy smiled again and was pleased when she saw Sean return it. "Okay, so striking while the iron is hot...tell me something."

"Anything and you won't get mad? Or send me to Snyder?" Sean asked, a little bit of hope coming into his voice.

"Nope, no grr and no, well, grr." A small laugh escaped Sean and Buffy suddenly forgot who he was. She let go that he was Warren's little brother and she saw Sean as himself. As a boy in serious need of something other than what he had. "This is an open room. You wouldn't believe some of the things I've been told. And everything stays between you and me."

"I'm glad he's dead," Sean said, quietly, staring at the floor.

Buffy felt her throat go dry again and she just as quietly said, "Me, too, Sean. Me, too."

******************************


	12. 12

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

******************************

Chapter 12

"Buffy, you home?" Spike asked and closed the door. He heard music playing in the living room and thanked the powers that be that it wasn't Fiona Apple. He turned the corner into the room and saw that Buffy wasn't there. "Luv?" Spike heard a soft sob from the bathroom as he made his way to their bedroom. He leaned against the door, trying to confirm what he heard. When he heard her shakily take in a breath, he softly knocked on the door. Not hearing any response, he slowly opened and peaked inside. He saw Buffy in the tub, hair pulled up and knees to her chest, chin resting on her knees. Her hands were over her eyes and he could see that she was trying not to cry. He wanted to burst in, pull her out and hold her until she got whatever was bothering her out of her system but having done that before and having to suffer the wrath of it, he opted for patience. "You need anything, pet?"

"You in here with me."

In record time, Spike divested himself of his clothing and got in the tub with her. Sitting behind her, he picked up the sponge and began to stroke her back slowly, trying to comfort her as best he could. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I had a meeting with Sean Meers today." She noticed that Spike had stopped his movements and she made a whining sound. "Don't stop doing that."

"Sorry, luv. What were you talking to him for? There are other counselors at that bloody school, y'know." He was trying to remain calm but he knew he was failing miserably. His left hand brought itself over the scar on her shoulder and he touched it gingerly, suddenly feeling every emotion he had felt on that day.

"Willow-"

"I'll kill her. You shouldn't be talking to him-"

"Spike, please...are you going to listen or are you just going to fly off the handle?" He said nothing but she could just picture his face. The muscles along his jaw twitching like mad, his teeth gnawing his bottom lip in frustration. "Willow asked me to talk to him. It's not easy for her, either, you know. She has class with him every day. I haven't seen him in months. Not even in the halls. I think we both ignored each other. Besides, I don't think he needed Mr. Cosgrove who would, undoubtedly, call him a loser and condemn him for life. He needed me. Someone who has been there. Do you get that?"

"Yeah, go on."

"It wasn't so bad, actually. I'm not even sure why I'm so upset. Maybe it just brought stuff to the surface. Maybe it was something that should have been dealt with long before now. We talked about Warren, mostly, which wasn't the easiest thing to do. This kid has had everyone lying to him for two years. Talking at him, not to him and so when he wanted to know, I told him what I could. What I remembered. It was actually a bit cathartic." She leaned back against Spike's chest and he moved the sponge to the front of her body. "We're going to meet twice a week during his study period. Will is going to try and help him catch up in classes. The kid has a lot of problems but he's started to open up. He just needed some honesty." She sighed, closing her eyes, letting every thing wash away as she fully gave herself over to Spike's touch. "So how was your day?"

"This is the part of the conversation when we just change directions, then?"

"You know me so well," Buffy answered, turning her head and giving his upper arm a quick kiss.

"It was better than yours, I suspect. Angel came down for an office check but other than that, good day. Little tired..."

Buffy laughed in agreement. "I talked to Giles, too. I was thinking of asking him and Anya for dinner sometime this week. He wants to talk to you, anyways...what do you think?"

"Fine, luv. Been meaning to talk to Rupes myself, so that works out. Did you get a chance to talk to 'im 'bout the other?"

"No...Sean came in just when I was about to."

"Y'know he's going to say yes. Don't know why you're getting all worked up over it."

"I could go to sleep right now."

"Stop changing the subject. 'm letting the Meers thing go, ain't I? You've known him a long time, Buffy. He'd be happy as a pig in shit to do it for you and you know that."

"I kind of didn't want to ask him when Anya was around. You know how she gets. 'Stay away from my Rupie'," Buffy said, mimicking Anya. She could feel Spike's chest move beneath her as he laughed. "I don't know...maybe I should just ask my mom to do it-"

"Y'know full well that your mum has no problems with you asking Giles."

"Or I could just do it myself," Buffy finished, completely ignoring Spike's input.

"Or just ask Giles," Spike repeated.

"I'm pruning. We need to get out of here before we shrivel up." Spike rolled his eyes out of frustration and sighed audibly. "You can stay..."

"Pet, I know today was no fun but can we please finish one bleeding conversation?" Spike asked, taking the towel Buffy was holding out for him. He wrapped the towel around his waist, not bothering to dry himself off fully. He eyed her suspiciously, trying to gage exactly what was going on in her head.

Without looking at him, she said, "Please stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"You know. Like you're trying to figure me out. I don't even have to see you to know that's how you're looking at me." She wrapped the towel around her and she walked over to the mirror, shaking her hair free from the bun. "You don't have to fix me, Spike. I'm fine. Really."

He moved behind her wrapping his arms around her own, effectively trapping her against his body. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her hair. "I'm not, luv. Whenever that day is mentioned, we brush it off like it never happened."

"We don't talk about your childhood and I don't want to talk about that day. Call it even, okay?" She struggled a bit to get out of his hold but he stayed tightly wrapped around her. "Spike...I just want to put on my yummy sushi pajamas and go to bed. I may even let you give me a back massage."

Spike barked out a quick laugh and shook his head. "You wanna know something about my time there, ask it. I'll tell you. It was nothing exciting...and it wasn't horrible. It definitely wasn't Oliver bloody Twist." He could feel her begin to move again in his arms and tightened his hold once again until he realized she was turning to face him. He gave her enough room to turn, not letting the fact that her towel was slipping to go by him.

"Okay, okay. If you let me go put on my pajamas, I'll let you rub my back and then we'll talk...you pick the subject."

"You won't last a minute if 'm rubbing your back and you know it."

"Damn, I thought that would work," she responded, smiling shyly. "Did you eat?"

"You do know it's only 6:30, right?" Buffy looked surprised and shook her head.

"I thought it was like 8 or so. I am so out of it today. How's this, then? I put on my pajamas, we cook dinner together, we'll talk and you can still pick the subject."

"That I can do...but we both know that 'm the one who'll be cooking dinner."

"Well, I will be actively watching," she smirked. He removed his arms from her body and she shivered instantly. She turned to walk out the bathroom and stopped suddenly. She whipped around, grabbed Spike's towel from his waist and ran into the bedroom, slamming the door. He could hear her laughing hysterically and he made his way to the bedroom.

"Oh my god!" he heard Dawn shriek and Spike spun around, yelling in surprise.

"Don't you bloody knock?" Spike asked covering himself as best he could. He began to kick the door behind him as best he could without being completely indecent in Dawn's presence.

"Don't you wear a towel?" Dawn asked, eyebrow raised.

"Don't have to wear one. My sodding apartment. Go in there!" He motioned his head in the direction of the living room. Dawn rolled her eyes and made her way in. Quickly, Spike turned around and banged on the door. "The Bit's here and I'm bare-ass naked. Let me in!"

Slowly, Buffy opened the door and he saw that she was bright red. "Dawn...is here?" Spike nodded and pushed the door the rest of the way open and went into the room. "She saw you naked?"

"She wouldn't have if you weren't running around stealing' people's bloody towels." He was practically growling as he slammed through the dresser drawers, looking for something to put on. He felt Buffy come up behind him, laying a hand on his back. He slammed another drawer and turned around, staring at her.

"Why are you so mad?" Buffy asked, her voice shaking a bit.

"'Cause now I can't ravage you before dinner." Buffy made an 'o' with her mouth and then smiled. She grabbed her robe, putting it on and left the room. He could hear her talking to Dawn but couldn't make anything out. He heard the apartment door close and soon Buffy was back in the room.

"We're all set for a bit of ravaging and we don't even have to cook." Spike looked at her, question unasked. "Dawn...she went to get food and apparently a bottle of wine to drink away the sight of you naked."

"Oi, I happen to think I'm quite a catch."

"Hey, I didn't say it. I know how lucky I am," she said as she walked over to him. She ran one finger down his chest and he twitched in response. "She said she'd be back in a half hour or so."

"Plenty to do in a half hour..."

"There sure is," Buffy agreed, her breath catching as Spike slowly undid the sash of her bathrobe. He opened the robe and pushed it off her body. No matter how many times he saw her naked, it was like the very first time. They both simultaneously silently wondered how they got so lucky to have found each other. Buffy moaned as Spike kissed her neck and muttered, "You still owe me a back massage later."

**********************


	13. 13

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

**********************

Chapter 13

"Boys are stupid," Dawn lamented as she passed out the take-out to Buffy and Spike.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. She heard Spike make a "pfft" sound and quickly amended it. "Most. Most are stupid, Dawnie. Not all. That would be generalizing and that would be bad. And wrong." She looked at Spike, hopeful that she made up and he just nodded a bit, ducking his head to hide his smile.

"Whatever, boys are stupid," Dawn said again. "Let's take, oh, I don't know, Connor for instance."

"Let's," Buffy said, egging her sister on.

"He's a boy playing at being grown-up and it's annoying."

"Most," Buffy said, making sure she stressed the word, "do that, Dawnie. It sucks, I know. What did he do?"

"He's not good enough for you, Bit. I wouldn't even bother," Spike said, putting in his two cents.

"Have you even met Connor?" Dawn asked and Spike shrugged in response. "Then shut the hell up."

"Dawn!" Buffy yelled. "You are being a primo bitch lately. What is up with you?"

"I'm just annoyed."

"With Connor? Or what?"

"Everything. Isn't it supposed to get better once you get older? Aren't things supposed to just fall into place somehow?"

"Life wasn't meant to be jigsaw puzzle, pet. You can't piece it all together in a nice, tidy package. It wouldn't be any fun if you could," Spike answered.

"But I want the tidy package. It seems everywhere I go, there's some happy person running around, playing naked fun games in, let's say, the bathroom and I'm the one running out to get dinner so people can finish. I'm tired of it."

"Boyfriends do not complete you, Dawn. They don't solve problems. Some of the time, they're the cause of even bigger ones," Buffy reasoned.

"That's the thing. My life is so boring. I'd take the problems of a boyfriend any day of the week to this." She swept her arm out in front of her. "It's like...blah. It's all blah."

"And you think the answer to these problems is Connor?" Buffy questioned.

"Oh, hell no. He's more messed up than me. He's like twenty times worse than I remember Angel being when you dated. I just...I want someone to be with, to find comfort with, I guess. I want a Spike."

Buffy put her arm around Dawn's shoulder, lightly squeezing her arm to comfort her. "You'll get there. Believe me, you will. As ridiculous as it sounds, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You just have to know when to throw the bad ones away. Spike and I didn't have it so easy, you know. It took us a while to admit to what was going on."

"Not my fault you started dating that wanker," Spike added. Buffy shot him a look and rolled her eyes. "What? If you didn't know how I felt about you after that first night in the Bronze, you're dense. You chose not to believe it so you looked somewhere else."

"That is not true!" Buffy said vehemently. "You were all with the 'we shouldn't ruin our friendship' and all that other bullshit. Besides, you started dating Harmony so don't try any of that with me."

"I said that only 'cause I didn't want to lose you completely," Spike told her. "And Harmony? I had to do something while you were off running around."

"Whatever, Blondie Bear," Buffy snidely said with a roll of her eyes.

"Buffy, why did it take you almost two years to get together?" Dawn asked, the curiosity dancing in her eyes.

"Why are you asking me? I was here. I wasn't the only one not admitting it."

"That's not true and you know it," Dawn said, calling her sister on her lie. "I may have been only eleven but I wasn't a sped kid. Even I could tell Spike was crazy for you when you guys used to hang out."

"You couldn't tell anything, Dawnie. You were too busy with your little girl crush on him." Dawn turned bright red and Spike raised his eyebrow, a smile slowly coming over his face. "Oops..."

"S'alright, luv, I'm irresistible. It's understandable."

"I resisted you just fine," Buffy said, indignantly.

"Ha! See? You just admitted it, Buffy. You totally knew what could have happened with you two and you chose to resist it," Dawn said, gleefully, bouncing a bit as if she had just one a prize.

"She's got you there, pet."

"Look the two of you ganging up on me isn't going to help your case. In fact, it just makes me want to get up and leave. But knowing you two, you'll sit here and talk about me and I just can't abide that." Buffy looked back and forth between the people she loved and then she groaned. "Fine, fine. I knew, okay? I didn't want to lose Spike, either. Relationships and me didn't exactly mix. I mean, look how not good the Angel thing went, then that idiotic move with Parker which didn't help in the man department...then there was Riley, who was just a nice, simple kind of guy."

"Boring," Spike huffed under his breath, bitterness on the word.

"Simple, not boring," Buffy insisted. "I thought it was better for Spike to be a friend than to lose him all together."

"You haven't lost him yet and it's been what? Eight, nine years?"

"Dawnie, I needed to get to a place where I could give all of me to him. I had to work through all the Angel issues, which granted, caused some issues because of the way I handled the already established issues, but anyways...I wanted to be comfortable with me before I started anything with him. With Spike it was going to be all or nothing. I was opting for all." Spike put his hand on her leg and squeezed her gently. "Are we good now? Can we not talk about this anymore? Weren't we talking about you and your lack of a life?"

"Hey, I have a life...sort of." Off both their looks, Dawn added, "Shut up. So you're telling me that because Angel screwed you up so badly, you thought to yourself that it was better to have a one night stand and to go out with the boring guy for almost a year than to be happy with Spike from the get go? Wow, that makes all the sense in the world."

"Simple, people! Riley was not boring. Just because he didn't brood or swagger doesn't mean he was boring. God..." Buffy knew she was more aggravated than she should be but Riley tried his best with her and she knew it. She just wasn't ready for him or what he had to offer. "The first time we went to the Bronze, do you remember that?" Spike nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Well, Cordy being Cordy said something about how you should watch out for being the rebound guy. Although I took great offense at the time, later on, what she said hit me and I didn't want you to be the rebound guy. If we had started dating right away, we would not be sitting here right now. I know that for certain."

"Then what you're saying, pet, is that soldier boy was the rebound guy," Spike stated, tongue between his teeth, a slightly arrogant expression on his face.

"Now you're just begging for a beating," Buffy joked.

"I do like it when you threaten me..."

"Is this like foreplay for you two?" Dawn asked and watched as the couple became a deep crimson color. "It's funny when you two squirm. Although I have to say it was better the other night when I had the entire gang squirming."

"Oh, yeah, that was a blast," Buffy said, sarcastically. "Are you doing Tuesday dinner with the girls' tomorrow night?"

"No, I have a date with Connor," Dawn answered, smiling.

"Oh, brother," Buffy sighed, shaking her head.

"So much for stupid boys," Spike grumbled. Buffy and Dawn couldn't help but laugh at his ignorance at the girl/boy dynamic.

***************************************


	14. 14

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***************************************

Chapter 14

Flashback

"Spike, this is my sister, Dawn."

"Hey there, Nibblet." Dawn made an "eep" sound and ran in the direction of the kitchen. "Is that normal?"

"She sometimes doesn't like new people." Buffy paused. "Or it could be the hair that frightened her off." Spike's hands went to his head instantly and he huffed. "Kidding, just kidding with you. And they say girls are the ones who are obsessed with appearances..." Buffy led them into the living room and they sat on the couch, both wondering what to do or say next. Buffy decided to take the initiative and said, "So, you don't really have to watch her with me. The gang's heading to the Bronze tonight and I can totally handle the brat by myself."

"Not feeling the club atmosphere tonight. Besides, I got us a movie...probably shouldn't show it to lil' sis," Spike said, frowning his brow.

"What movie?" He handed her the cassette. "Suspiria? What is that? Did I even say it right?"

"From the '70's, cheesy and horrible."

"So why would I want to watch that?"

"From the '70's, cheesy and horrible," Spike repeated, as if that was enough of an answer.

"Okay, then, I'll give it a shot. We'll have to wait until Dawn goes to bed..."

"I have no place to be, pet."

Dawn came running into the room, arms loaded up with board games. She smiled shyly at Spike and asked, "Do you want to play a game?"

"Dawn, did you do your homework yet?" Buffy asked, trying to conceal the annoyance she felt.

Dawn merely rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Spike. "You can pick...or if you don't like these, we have some more." Without waiting for his answer, she started off towards the kitchen again, yelling, "I'll get some more!" as she went.

"Which one is your sis's favorite?" Spike asked.

"Uh, why?"

"Just tell me." Buffy pointed to Clue and when Dawn entered the room again with another armload, Spike said, "I love Clue. Do you like that one, Bit?"

Dawn dropped the games on the floor, her mouth opened in shock. _Oh my god, he's my soul mate._ "Who doesn't love Clue?!?" Dawn went over to the couch, sitting between Buffy and Spike, her back to Buffy, all her attention on Spike. Buffy swallowed a laugh and shook her head in amazement. "I'm so good. I can figure out who did it in like three turns."

"Impressive. I'll bet that I can do better," Spike challenged.

"Well, statistically speaking it would be impossible for you to win in two turns," Dawn told him.

"'Statistically speaking'?" Buffy asked, surprise in her voice. She turned Dawn's shoulder so Dawn was facing her. "Huh, you look like Dawn and yet you sound like Giles."

"Who's Giles?"

"Someone you will meet in about four years," Buffy told her. Off of Dawn's confused look, she added, "He's the librarian at the high school."

"Oh...the British guy?" Buffy nodded, her face now displaying the confused look. "I've met him."

"When? How?" Buffy asked.

"He used to come over a lot during the summer. Mom was upset all the time because you just up and ran away." Spike glanced over at Buffy in surprise. Buffy kept looking at Dawn, ignoring Spike's questioning gaze. "I thought that he was going to be her new boyfriend but then he suddenly stopped coming around."

"Okay...and that was when?"

"I think August. I was used to him coming over all summer. Then one night, they had some wine and I haven't seen him since."

"'Some wine'? How much is some, Dawnie?" Buffy's voice began to raise a few octaves higher than normal and Dawn instantly knew that Buffy was getting upset at all this information.

"Two, I think?" Dawn answered hesitantly.

Buffy flew off the couch and started pacing around the living room, her arms waving about as she spoke. "How could no one tell me this? I mean, you go away for a bit and apparently your mother shacks up with the librarian. Why wouldn't she tell me that? It's not so much to ask, you know?"

"Buffy, maybe it's not what you think-" Spike began.

"No, I have the feeling it's exactly what I think!" She paused and eyed him suspiciously. "And so do you."

"What are you two thinking? I liked Mr. Giles. He used to bring over some interesting books," Dawn broke in.

"Dawn, why don't you bring Clue into the dining room and get it all set-up so we can play, okay?" Buffy asked, turning her sweet voice on.

"You could just say 'get out, Dawn. We're going to talk about sex now'," Dawn complained as she picked up the board game and went into the other room. Buffy shook her head again as she watched her sister leave.

"Are you going to sit or just continue to make me dizzy?" Spike asked as he watched her zoom back and forth across the rug.

"You were here last summer, right? You came here after you graduated..."

"Yeah, I did, but I don't know anything about this-"

"Likely story. How do I know that you did know and that they told you not to tell me you knew? They had to have known we'd meet eventually, what with your relationship with Giles and my mother's apparent...oh god, this is like the most horrible thing. Ever." She fell back on the couch, placing her forearm over her eyes. Her other arm still moving wildly as her thoughts kept playing this new information over and over again.

"It's not so bad. Two people finding comfort-"

Buffy sat upright and looked at him. "So you did know!"

"I did not know, Buffy. I'm trying to say, if you would let me get a word in, is that maybe whatever happened with you and your mum...she found a bit of comfort with Rupert."

"But that's gross," Buffy whined. Spike laughed and leaned back on the couch. "Do you think that they..."

"If I was a betting man, I'd put money on it," Spike told her in absolute seriousness. Buffy groaned again and began to rub her temples. Hoping to lighten the mood, Spike asked, "Does your sister often know about things she probably shouldn't?"

"Yeah, she's like a one- person sewing circle. It keeps her entertained and obviously, wigs me out completely. It's our thing," Buffy answered, a slight smile on her lips.

"Are we playing tonight or are we waiting for the Armageddon?" Dawn asked from the dining room.

Buffy and Spike shared a look, both sighing and got up from the couch, making their way into the dining room for a fun night of Clue.

----------------------------------

"Goodnight, losers," Dawn joked as she went up to her room. "I told you that you couldn't win in less than three turns."

"Not against the master of Clue, apparently," Spike jibbed back.

"I just have to make sure she brushes and what not. Make yourself comfortable. You can throw that movie in, if you want," Buffy suggested. Spike nodded and watched Buffy walk up the stairs. _It doesn't get much better than that._ Spike shook himself out of his reverie and went back to the living room to get the movie ready.

While waiting for Buffy to return, he glanced around the room, taking in the home-like feel that the house gave off. Giles's apartment was great and Spike knew he was lucky enough to be able to stay there with him but this house is what he really wanted. This was a home and that was something he had never had. He perused the pictures on the mantle, smiling at a little Buffy playing on the beach. He saw a picture of Buffy, Dawn and who he assumed was their mother on the wall and he felt that pang in his chest. The longing for family, of pictures never taken during his childhood, of a little sister or brother, a mother who just looked like a great mother in one picture...he longed for it all. He looked more closely at the picture of the three women, trying to see something there that would give him the answers he had always been searching for. He knew he'd never get them unless he found his parents, which was something he still didn't know if he wanted to embark on. Just by looking at the picture, he saw how happy they were, how close and he felt the bitter taste of jealousy in the back of his throat.

Buffy walked into the living room and saw Spike studying a picture on the wall. She back peddled a bit and looked around the corner, seeing everything he was thinking written on his face. Buffy's heart ached for him and she had to keep telling herself to stay where she was, not to go in there and wrap him up in her arms. It didn't work too well and she could feel her resolve fading the more she watched him. _You can't do it, Buffy. You can't start something with him. You're still going through stages of Angel. You're being transfer-y and you don't want to hurt Spike. You're friends. End of discussion. Right?_

"Right," Buffy muttered softly to herself, feeling instantly miserable. The phone rang, shocking her enough that she squealed in surprise. She quickly ducked out of Spike's view before he saw her and went into the dining room to answer the phone, hoping that it was her mother so she could get some answers once and for all. "Hello?"

"Buffy?" It wasn't her mother.

"Angel?" She felt her stomach flip over and she thought for sure she wasn't going to keep her supper down. "Uh, hi."

"How have you been?"

"Fine...how's L.A. treating you?" Buffy asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"Fine," Angel replied softly, feeling the sting of her question.

"Well, as intellectually stimulating as this conversation is, I'm watching Dawn and I have a friend over. I don't want to be rude so...why are you calling?"

"I feel badly, Buffy, for leaving-"

"Well, you should," she spat out.

"I know you have that dance-"

"Yeah, the one you made abundantly clear you had no desire to go to when you left me for better things in L.A., Angel."

"I'm trying to do the right thing here, Buffy. I know it's important to you and I don't want you to miss it."

"You think that because you're not here to take me that I wouldn't go?" Buffy laughed harshly. "I'd go by myself, Angel. My life did not stop because we stopped."

"That's good, Buffy. I'm glad to hear that. You know that I love-"

"Don't do it, Angel. Don't say anything like that." Buffy closed her eyes, trying her hardest to calm herself. "Look, I don't want to do this. Be mean or catty...but I can't have you calling. I can't talk to you like we're friends because we're not. Not right now." With that, she hung up not able to bare anything Angel would say in response. She blinked back a few tears, forcing herself to not let it bother her. She jumped a bit when she heard a noise next to her and saw that Spike was standing in the doorway. "Hey..."

"I don't have another handkerchief, but do you need something?" Buffy smiled in appreciation of his effort and shook her head no. "Do you want me to go?"

"No!" Buffy said too quickly and Spike fought hard to hide his smile. "We have a cheesy, horrible 70's movie to watch, right?" As they made their way back to the living room, she said, "So do you notice that you're often around when I'm doing my best impersonation of the misery chick?"

"Guess I'm just lucky, then. Wouldn't be too fond if you were the a-typical California girl."

"So if I acted the way I looked..."

"I probably wouldn't like you all that much, no. Nice to look at sure, but perma-happy doesn't do it for me."

"Well, I'm certainly not that. I used to be quite the stereotype but things changed."

"Like what?"

"Same old, same old. Dad cheats and leaves, never to be heard from again, we all move down here, I realize I feel more at home with what most of Sunnydale High considers the geeks of the universe instead of my old popular crowd and so on."

"How popular are we talking?"

"I have a crown and a sash..." Spike looked at her wide-eyed and she giggled. "At the time, it seemed so important. Now it's like why? It so wasn't."

"Yeah, but at least you learned that, right? You could have just kept on thinking that all that bullshit was important."

"True...I am happier now despite what you have seen in the last 3 weeks of knowing me."

"Tough time. First love and all that rot. Understandable."

"You know something about it?" Buffy asked, feeling her heart seize a bit that Spike had been in love.

"There was a girl back home."

"What was her name? If you don't mind me asking."

"Drusilla. Broke my heart, she did. I'd give you some sage advice but I still feel it some days. Can't tell you the pain goes away. Can only say it gets easier."

"Thanks, Spike," Buffy said, her voice full of gratitude.

He smirked at her and said, "You tell anyone I'm talking like some bloody poofter and I'll have your head."

"Your secret's safe with me." Buffy grabbed the remote and pressed play. "I always say there's nothing like a horrible movie after a meaningful conversation."

----------------------------------------

"This is pretty bad, Spike."

"It's a classic!"

"Classic piece of shit," Buffy countered. "I can't watch anymore. This dancer chick is running around, then she dances and then there's some psychedelicmontage of creepy things that in this day and age, just aren't that creepy."

"Fine, shut it off. Trying to bring you some culture and this is what I get."

Buffy laughed. "I'm frightened by your usage of the word culture." Buffy looked away from the television to Spike and saw that he was watching her. She quickly averted her eyes and said, "Why do you stare at me? It makes me feel like I'm under a microscope."

"Didn't even realize, luv. Didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," Spike said, quickly.

"No, it's just..." Buffy trailed off deciding against saying what was on her mind.

"What?"

"It's like you look right into me," she said, softly. "I feel...I don't know...naked or something." She looked at him briefly and he had that awed expression on his face, his head to the side, eyes fixed on hers. "Exactly like you look right now. The head tilt just adds to the whole thing." Buffy abruptly got off the couch. "Do you want something to drink?" Spike nodded and she made her way to the kitchen.

_Keep it together, Buffy. You're losing ground here. Resist the eyes. Resist the face. Resist...everything._ She sighed as she took out two cans of Coke and looked in the cabinet for junk food. Grabbing a bag of chips and the soda, she slowly made her way back to the living room. _Leave the movie on. It's a distraction from blue eyes and sly smiles. From the smell of leather, cigarettes and Spikeness. And since when do cigarettes smell good? Apparently just on him which is highly annoying. That's it, Buffy, think of the annoying things. That helps sometimes._ She entered the room and saw that he was gone. The smile she had vanished immediately and she thought her heart literally dropped to her stomach.

"Spike?" She set the chips and cans on the coffee table and decided to walk around the house. Not seeing him, she looked out the front window and saw him standing on the porch, smoking a cigarette. She let go of the breath she could have sworn she had been holding since she saw that he was gone. She opened her front door and stepped out onto the porch. "Hey, I've heard those things will kill you."

"Funny, pet. Never heard that one before."

"Thought you left..."

"I wouldn't have left without saying good bye to you first." Spike threw his cigarette out onto the lawn.

"That's fine. Just litter my front yard with your cancer sticks," Buffy joked. Spike moved to go off the porch to pick it up and she grabbed his arm. "I was kidding. Is my usual lilt when I'm sarcastic just not with me tonight? You keep taking everything so seriously." Spike looked at her hand and she quickly removed it. "Back to watching Suspension?"

"Suspiria," Spike corrected with a small laugh.

"Whatever, it's not like I'm going to be looking to watch it ever again. Knowing the name is not completely necessary at this point," she said as they reentered the house.

"I said we could shut it off," Spike reiterated as he sat down, grabbing a can of Coke.

"No, it's not so bad." Spike shot her a disbelieving look. "No, really. Look, a black cat! Ooh, it's getting scary now. Will probably have to sleep with Mr. Gordo tonight."

"Mr. Gordo?"

"My stuffed pig. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll introduce you. You know, someday."

"Someday would be nice."

**********************


	15. 15

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***********************

Chapter 15

"So a toast?" Cordelia asked. Buffy, Willow, Tara and Anya raised their glasses. "To me being single again. Here, here." The group of women looked at each other and back to Cordy, all surprised by this announcement. "Hello? Here, here and then clink, clink." They all did as was told and took a sip of their wine. Nobody said anything for a full minute.

"Was it the orgasms or lack thereof?" Anya asked first.

"Well, when he was around it was orgasms a plenty but...he's busy so much...," Cordy answered, trailing off. "Look, what's done is done, okay? I'd rather not spend yet another evening examining why Cordelia Chase can't keep a man."

"Is he still coming to the wedding?" Buffy asked, still digesting this new turn. "He was coming with you so..."

"I don't know. I should tell him he has to go so that way you'll get a present," Cordy said, smiling. "I'm really fine with it. In fact, I've kind of had my eye on someone else."

"I always say get right back on the old horse. I wouldn't have Rupert if I didn't," Anya offered.

"And it is an old horse at that," Cordelia muttered.

"Cordy, I thought you outgrew that marry someone old, inherit their money when they die scheme," Willow wondered.

"Not old as in decrepit old. I can't deal with grandpa breath."

Tara nodded her head, understanding instantly. "Someone old as in former."

"I hate how you do that," Cordy told her.

"Former...well, Wesley is attached at the hip to Faith at the present, unless you're planning on breaking them apart. And with your intense disliking of Faith, it would be like killing two birds with one stone," Willow guessed.

"You've never gone beyond the flirting stage with both Angel and Gunn...oh, god..." Buffy trailed off, her eyes wide.

Cordy smirked and nodded. "I know, I know. But we've both grown up in the last year ten years and we've changed-"

"You can not date Devon again, Cordy. He's still as flaky as ever," Buffy interrupted.

"It's not Devon!" Cordy said, laughing.

"The only one left is-"

"Xander," Anya finished, cutting Willow off.

Cordelia looked at her pointedly and said, "And you cannot tell me to stay away. You're married to Giles now. You let the Xander ship sail." Anya rolled her eyes in response and gulped her wine.

"How did this happen?" Tara asked. She hadn't been around when the two were together but she had always noticed the chemistry that they had.

"I don't know...he's my little chia pet. I can't help it."

"What about 'Xander Harris is scum. He will never know the touch of Cordy ever again' rant after you guys broke up?" Buffy asked.

"No one likes to be cheated on, Buffy. Especially when it's with trash like Faith."

"You may want to lay off the 'trash' comments, Cordy. She's trying really hard to pull herself back together. It takes a lot of guts to actively seek out forgiveness and to travel that road," Buffy told her. "Besides, you even said it was ten years ago. The past is the past. Everyone makes mistakes. It's not like you've been a saint your entire life."

"I've never hospitalized anyone or spent three years in jail for assault and battery," Cordy said, anger in her voice.

"Can't we do that thing where we abruptly change the uncomfortable topic of discussion?" Willow pleaded.

"Ladies!" They all turned, breathing a sigh of relief, to see the owner of the restaurant coming their way and they all smiled and waved.

"Andrew!"

Arriving at the table and resting one hand on the back of Buffy's chair and the other on the back of Willow's, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "I just love when you do that. I feel like Norm on Cheers."

"We know, Andrew," Buffy said, smiling.

"You have only told us that every Tuesday night for the last three years," Anya interjected.

Andrew shot her look and turned to Buffy. "The wedding is coming along fine? You still haven't ordered your cake or picked out the menu."

"You know too much about too much," Buffy answered. "We are actually going Friday night to talk to Jonathon about the cake and we're still debating over the menu."

"And Spike is well?" Andrew asked, wistfully.

Buffy bit back her laugh and said, "Yes, he's fine."

"Why are you talking like that?" Anya asked Andrew. "You sound like you're trying to sound posh and upper-crusty. Frankly, you don't pull it off."

"I don't know why I allow you to come in here," Andrew said, whining a bit. "If you can't understand that I am trying to bring class to the establishment than I don't think you appreciate what I'm doing."

"Andrew, the name of your restaurant is What's Its Name. I truly don't believe people are coming here for class," Anya continued.

"Just the delicious food," Tara threw in, giving Andrew a smile.

"Why, thank you, Tara." Turning back to Anya, he said, "I built this place from the ground up, demon woman. I slaved long and hard over it. I hand painted light fixtures, polished tables until they glowed, designed the menus myself. Blood, sweat and tears went into this place."

"Can I live in the land of denial with you?" Anya asked. "You took this place over and changed the name. You didn't do anything."

"I had to keep it going, though, didn't I? So there! I think I've proven my point."

"Den-i-al," Anya muttered under her breath and Cordy kicked her shin under the table.

"I should go back to the kitchen. The chef's dessert for tonight is kicking everyone's ass. Nice seeing you." Leaning down to Willow, he whispered, "Except for you know who." Willow suppressed her chuckle and looked at Anya who was shooting daggers at Andrew as he walked away.

"You could be a little nicer to him, Anya. He practically feeds us for free," Willow tried to reason.

"You're all nice enough to him so that I don't have to be."

"You really need to get over it," Cordy told her.

"Me? He's the one that was duplicitous. I was only trying to do something nice for Xander and Andrew lied to me," Anya explained.

"It was a long time ago, Anya. Maybe it is time to just let it go," Tara suggested.

"He was trying to steal my money! Limited edition Babylon 5 plates, my ass," Anya told them, angrily. "If he was trying to low-ball someone, he picked the wrong someone. You all continue to be nice and I will continue to be very active with not."

"Well, he did do a good job of forging them..." Willow put in.

"I don't know why we come here," Anya said. "Every week it's the same thing."

"You make it the same thing," Cordy pointed out. "I'm making another toast." Everyone held up their glasses. "To Anya, whose tactless ways make me look angelic. I, for one, am forever grateful."

"Here, here!" Everyone clinked their glasses together and laughed.

----------------------------------

"Are the men ever going in to be fitted for tuxes?" Anya asked. "I just love Rupie in a tux..."

"Actually, I've been giving the tux question the once over." There was an audible gasp from everyone at the table. "I know but I realized that it's not just all about me and Spike really doesn't want to wear the tux. I'm sure the rest of the guys will appreciate that."

"But you were all 'go, tux, go'," Willow said.

"Spike went on his own and bought what actually is a very nice black suit-"

"Spike in a black suit with a couple of buttons undone, hair all curly and crazy would be very nice to look at," Anya interrupted.

"Hey, wipe the drool. You don't hear me talking about Giles like that," Buffy said, trying to not shudder at the image.

"Well, he is very good looking, Buffy. It's not like women don't notice him because he belongs to you now."

"I know that, Anya, but you are my friend. I'm not exactly thrilled with my friend's thinking of an unbuttoned Spike."

"Have you told him no tux yet? He came into the gallery the other week to talk to Joyce about trying to convince you that there was no need for a tux," Tara informed her.

"That sneaky little bastard. I should make him wear it now," Buffy said, laughing. "As much as I wanted all the traditions, I realized that we're not the most traditional of couples. And I don't want one of the happiest days of our lives to be so by the book."

"So..." Willow stated, trying to get Buffy to let them in on whatever she was getting at.

"So, everything we've done...we're doing over," Buffy meekly told them.

"What was that?" Cordy asked, shocked.

"Are you serious?" Willow asked, bewildered by the turn of events.

"So how much more work does that entail for us?" Anya asked, a slight whine to her voice.

"I think it's great." Everyone whipped their heads to look at Tara. "Like Buffy said, it is a very important day for her and Spike. They should be celebrating it the way they want to. And if Buffy doesn't want to have the usual cookie-cutter kind of wedding, well, good for her." Buffy smiled in thanks, while the other three stared at her, open-mouthed. "You three take a breath before you pass out. As her bridesmaids, we are to do what ever she wants."

"Guys, look, it really isn't that big of a deal. Nothing was set in stone plans-wise anyway, so it shouldn't be too difficult to rearrange some things," Buffy told them.

"You're not changing the dresses, are you? I do not want everyone's image of me as a bridesmaid to be from Anya's wedding," Cordy said, a hint of panic in her voice.

"You all looked soooo great that day," Anya commented.

"Sure..." Cordy said, sarcastically, mentally giving thanks that Anya didn't pick up on it.

"All the dresses are staying the same. Mom and I bought ours last Saturday, did the fittings and the whole thing. We're still getting the food, cake and flowers from where we were getting them originally. The biggest thing is the invites, the guest list and the place."

"Oh, thank god," Cordy replied softly to herself.

"We were looking at that stupid book of invitations and Spike came up with a really great idea to make our own. So once my mind got on that track, I just slowly started thinking about every thing else. I'm not the big wedding kind of girl anymore. And we all know that Spike isn't a big wedding sort of guy. I'm slashing the guest list to no more than seventy-five. I'm hoping we can cut down to fifty, but I still need to talk to Spike about that. I don't want to invite people just to invite them. There's something so not right about that."

"You went from a list of two hundred to fifty?" Anya asked. "How does one do that?"

"I decided that it was silly to invite people that I knew once upon a time. Not every person I've said hello to over the course of my life had to be invited. I'll need to talk to Mom about the long list of people she wanted to invite. Honestly, all of you are our family. I know that's all he wants to be there and it may have taken a few months for me to realize, but it's all I want, too."

"So, you're going the extremely simple route to wedded bliss?" Cordy asked.

"Definitely. I'm thinking by keeping it simple, it might actually get me to the wedded bliss part," Buffy answered, smiling. "I plan on telling Spike tonight that the suit is a go, which means the guys will have to pick up their own suits. I'm hoping that Ted's Tuxes rents out suits so they all don't have to buy spanking new ones, but we'll see. I'm still debating on the tie issue. I don't want uptight but I am dead set against a beach bum wedding."

"Where are you going to have it?" Tara asked.

"That's the thing. There aren't many places in Sunnydale. We had already made the unspoken decision that it wouldn't be a church wedding. Cordy had suggested the mansion, which isn't so bad. It has that great over view of Sunnydale in the back but it's a bit too gothic for me."

"They can snazz it up a bit, you know," Cordy offered.

"Yeah, I know but I'm not feeling it. I'm sure Spike would love it but I'm bending enough with the tux issue."

"What about Wilkins Park?" Willow asked.

"Thought of that, too, but you and Tara were married there. It didn't seem right to have it there, either."

"We were married on the bridge. You can pick any place in the park. There's that gorgeous gazebo by the water on the other side," Tara offered.

"I would like an outside ceremony..."

"Did you pick a time yet?" Cordy asked.

"I know we want it in the afternoon. That way it won't be so hot and by the time the reception comes along, it'll be dusk and cooler."

"And if you can keep the list down, you could always have the reception at your Mom's. Great backyard, you have the porch, people can escape inside if they want," Cordy suggested.

"Plus, you can have like tikki lights when it gets dark," Willow said, excitedly. "Who doesn't love a tikki light, am I right?"

"And, of course, money. You can save all kinds of it," Anya chimed in.

"The money isn't the problem. We have it all budgeted out and with Mom's help, we were in the clear. If we have it at my Mom's, no dance floor."

"We are a group of dancing fools," Tara said, smiling.

"That we are," Buffy agreed, giggling. "I don't know...but I need to have the invites to you by Monday, right?"

"Yes, if you want the two months notice," Tara answered. "I'm intrigued by the designing your own concept. Anything I can help you with?"

"You are my favorite person right now!" Buffy gushed and heard a chorus of "Hey"s from the other three women at the table. Buffy rolled her eyes and amended, "I love you all equally."

"Just like what a parent says to appease the other children," Anya said.

"Ignoring Anya completely," Buffy started and turned her attention to Tara. "What we're thinking is a photo of us on the front and then the print on the inside? Could we add some stuff to the front so it's not completely boring?"

"Flowers?" Tara asked.

"No, well...probably not. He said I could have flowers but no pink, no butterflies and no rainbows."

"Colors?"

"The picture is black and white, so the grayish silver you showed me would still work but I'd like to throw in a little color."

"How about the color of our dresses?" Cordy asked.

"See, here we go. Now we're on a roll. What would I do without you guys?"

"Apparently still love Tara the most," Anya said snidely.

---------------------------------

Walking to their cars in the parking lot, Tara touched Buffy's arm and motioned for her to let the others to go ahead of them. When they were out of range, Tara looped her arm through Buffy's and started walking again. "Will tells me you saw Sean."

Buffy's step faltered for a moment but she quickly recovered. "Yeah...on the list of top ten not fun things to do, that'd be up there."

"Are you alright?"

"Sure, after the initial feeling of fear, I'm fine," Buffy said with a slight smile. "And you? Did Willow tell you she was going to tutor him?"

"Yes, she did. I can only keep telling myself that he is not Warren and I cannot treat him as if he is."

"Had to do that myself." Buffy took a breath and asked, "Do you talk about it? You and Willow...do you talk about what happened?"

"Some days...we never force the conversation but some days we both just need to. Why?" Tara asked, concern in her eyes.

"It's just...well, Spike wanted to talk about it after I told him about Sean and I pretty much flat out refused. Luckily, Dawnie had come over so I got a pass but...it's bound to come up again."

"All I can say, Buffy, is don't force it. Let it happen as naturally as possible. Believe me, I didn't want to talk about it for months and Will gave me that space."

"Will's great like that."

"And so is Spike," Tara added.

"I know. Is it weird to not want to discuss it? To not want to rehash it all? Then I feel silly because I don't want to talk about it and you do and you were the one who..."

"It's not silly. Everyone has different ways of dealing with things. It took me some time, yes, but I felt like a giant weight had been lifted when I talked to Willow about it. They are our loved one's for a reason." They reached Buffy's car and Tara looked around for Willow. She saw her at their car and raised her index finger and mouthed "one minute". Willow nodded and smiled, understanding that it was a one on one conversation.

Tara put her hand on Buffy's upper arm in comfort. "I'm sure Spike wants to be your sounding board for things like this. You only need to let him." Buffy looked at Tara, eyes wet. "He loves you, Buffy. There is nothing you can say about that day or any other that will make that change."

"I know you're right. I'm being completely irrational."

Tara's arms wrapped around Buffy, giving her a hug. "I love you, sweetie. Everything will be fine. You're getting yourself all worked up. Let it happen naturally, okay?"

Buffy hugged her back and said, "Thanks, Tara." They let go of each other and Tara gave her a wave goodbye. She put on a big smile and turned to see the others still standing near Willow's car. "Bye, girls! I'll see you soon. Thanks for tonight!" She got into her car, smile fading quickly.

--------------------------------------

Buffy entered their apartment quietly. She couldn't believe it was only 9 o'clock. She felt like they had been at the restaurant for hours on end. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and made her way to the bedroom, rubbing her eyes warily and yawning. The phone rang but she didn't quicken her pace to answer it. She heard the answering machine click on and smiled when she heard Dawn's voice.

"So Connor is weird. I think he has some major issues...but then like two seconds later he can be totally likeable and that irks me even more. It's like pick a mood and stick with it! Uh...erase this before Spike hears it. He doesn't need more fuel for the fire. Love you!"

She heard Spike laugh at Dawn's message and she walked into the room, gasping when she saw him. He turned quickly to look at her and smiled when he saw the look of shock mixed with a little lust on her face.

"You're home."

"And you're..."

"I do look mighty dapper, don't I?" She walked over to him and ran her hand over the material, making a soft moaning sound. "Like it, pet?"

"What was it you said the other night about my wedding dress? I couldn't wear anything that would be torture on your lower regions. Ditto for you."

"No worries, then. Not wearing the suit, remember? Talked to Xander tonight and we're going to round up the guys for the tuxes on Saturday since we didn't get around to it on Sunday."

"You're wearing the suit," Buffy blurted out. She had wanted to tease and taunt him about the tux for a bit first but upon seeing him, all cohesive thought left her brain. _Damn Anya for being right once again._

"Come again?"

"Oh, I plan to," Buffy muttered. She coughed a bit to cover her slip and saw that he had his tongue between his teeth. _Shit, he heard that. I'll be dealing with that for weeks to come._ "You will be wearing that suit on our wedding day."

"That's just cruel, Buffy. Shouldn't get a bloke's hopes up like that."

"No cruelty here. You are wearing that. End of discussion, okay? So you'll have to take the guys to find suits." He put his hands on the sides of her face and gently pulled her forward for a crushing kiss that took her breath away. "So you like that idea, I take it?"

"Best bloody thing I've heard all day."

"I love you," Buffy said, emotion in her voice.

"Okay, that's the best thing I've heard all day." He looked at her, studying her face and saw something in her eyes that unsettled him. "What's wrong?"

"I talked to Tara tonight about Sean. Spike, we'll talk about it but I can't launch into a big discussion like that without some prepping first and-"

"Shh, Buffy," Spike said, trying to calm her. He began stroking her back and kissed her forehead. "If I seemed to have pushed, I didn't mean to. I get worried about you is all and then you don't say anything. You know that me and patience don't go hand in hand."

She smiled and nudged her face into the hand that was still cupping the side of her face. "I know and I realize I'm being a bit overly with the issue but I-"

"We'll talk about it when we talk about it. There's no pressure here, pet. You never have to talk about it if you don't want. I only wish you would."

"I will. I want to."

"Then when that time comes, I'll be at the ready." He let go of her and started to take off the suit jacket when Buffy's hands stopped him. "What?"

"Are you taking that off?"

"Well, yeah. Don't want to ruin it. Don't fancy spending another boatload of cash on a black suit."

"If you don't want to ruin it, you better let me help you with the undressing," she said, suggestively. He raised an eyebrow and smiled even more as he felt Buffy's hand slowly take off his jacket.

***************************

to be continued


	16. 16

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

a/n: Thanks to everyone for leaving reviews and to those at Crumbling Walls. You guys all rock and I really appreciate it. It really does help in the writing process and it definitely gives me a happy :)

**************************

Chapter 16

Willow walked down the long hall to her classroom, lost in her own thoughts. She felt a slight vibration from her waist and looked down to see her cell phone flashing. Like a pro, she deftly maneuvered her belongings into one hand without dropping anything and grabbed the phone.

"Honey, I'm on my way to class and running late. I haven't even booted up the network yet. I'll have to talk to you later," Willow said, a tad out of breath. She may have learned how to balance everything without taking a fall on her face but it took a lot out of her. She balanced the phone between her shoulder and head so she could replace the coffee mug into her now free hand.

"Appreciate the endearment, Red, but I'm not sure Buffy or Tara would."

"Oh! Spike, sorry. Tara usually calls right before class to wish me a good day and to tell me she lov-" Willow cut herself off. "I'm over sharing, aren't I?"

"Nothing like a Willow babble first thing in the morning," Spike answered and she could hear the smirk that was no doubt on his face.

She arrived at the door to her classroom which was, of course, closed. "Hold on a sec and if I hang up on you, I didn't mean to do it." Before he could say anything, she put the cup back in the hand that held her carrier, tightly pressing her right arm to her side to hold the paper in place, the phone made some beeping noises as she realized the side of her face pressed the buttons and she heard Spike say something about his bleeding ears. She finally got the door open and rushed to her desk, carefully setting down her mug and letting her bag and paper fall. She slumped down in her chair and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Phew!"

"Are you done with whatever you're doing?" Spike asked, annoyance in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Stupid classrooms with stupid closed doors."

"Probably shouldn't have been trying to carry a hundred things at once. That bag of yours alone weighs about fifty pounds."

"How did you know I had a lot of things?" She didn't get an answer just a soft chuckle. "I'm very good at multi-tasking, I'll have you know."

"No doubt, Willow. Look, I'll be brief because we both have things to do. Can we meet at lunch time?"

"Sure, I usually have lunch with Buffy..."

"No, just you and me. Tell Buffy you have something to do."

"You want me to lie to her? I can't. I'm very bad with the entire lying to Buffy thing. I turn all red and get jumpy and my voice does this weird high-pitched thing-"

"Fine, do you have any free time before or after lunch, then?"

"At 10, I have a free period. I usually go to the lounge or the library to talk with Giles."

"Library at 10. It won't take long." And with that Spike was gone. Willow listened to the buzzing noise of the dial tone for a bit before it registered that he had hung up. She sighed and flipped the phone down when it instantly started vibrating again.

"Hi, honey," Willow began, having this time looked at the caller I.D..

---------------------------------

As Spike walked down the halls of the high school, he wished the outside door to the library had been unlocked. He didn't particularly like having to fabricate a story about why he was here if Buffy should happen to see him and he wasn't fond of being back at a high school in general. As he made his way to the library, he heard a few whispers and giggles on his way. He glanced over at a group of girls, leaning against a row of lockers and threw them a cocky grin and felt manly pride that he could still make them swoon.

"Flirting with the jail bate?"

He spun his head around to see Buffy standing in front of him, her hands on her hips, her lips puckered together, jutting out just a bit, eyebrows raised in her classic angry stance. The look of shock on his face that he had been caught was too much for Buffy. Her lips slowly turned into a smile and she laughed just like the school girls had done.

"I wish I had my camera. Your face is too precious right now," Buffy told him, still laughing softly. "You never visit me at school. Is something wrong?"

"Uh, no, nothing wrong. Just came to talk to Rupert about some things."

"Wedding types of things or manly man things?"

"A little of both. Haven't seen him much lately, had some time to kill and he's a librarian so he's always free."

"Will's off this hour, too. She's probably in there," Buffy told him.

"Really? Well, that'll work out, then. Best man and matron of honor with the groom."

"Don't you be putting any ideas in their heads. Especially Willow. She can be very easily persuaded."

"No worries, luv." The bell rang and kids scattered in all directions. "Best be-"

"Going, yup." She leaned over, giving him a kiss.

"Alright, Miss Summers!"

"Get some!"

Buffy blushed but couldn't help the smile that came as her lips were still against Spike's. She pulled away, looking for the kids but she only saw a blur of two hurrying up the stairs.

"Getting some doesn't sound half bad," Spike murmured in her ear. In response, she lightly hit his arm, her smile growing wider.

"Later...although one day, breaking in my office furniture isn't a bad thought..." A groan escaped Spike and he leaned down to capture her lips again but she moved out the way. She held up her finger waving it back and forth. "Uh-uh. I can't be setting a bad example to the students."

"Could teach them all a thing or two."

"Buffy and Spike's Sex Ed? I'm sure parents would love that," she said, sarcastically. She looked down the hall and grimaced. "I gotta go. Snyder's coming..."

Spike turned his head and saw the little man standing in front of the main office's door, watching them. With a wicked gleam in his eye and the ever constant smirk coming back, he turned to Buffy. Her eyes went wide and she started shaking her head back and forth. _Like that'll stop me._ He grabbed her by the waist and brought her to him, he put one arm around her back, leaned her backwards, instantly latching onto her mouth, sucking in her bottom lip causing a moan from the both of them. He slowly brought them to an upright position, mouths still together. He gave her another small kiss and let her go. She wobbled a bit but quickly got her bearings as she saw Snyder coming closer to them.

"You better go," Buffy said, breathlessly.

"I'm not afraid of that tosser. What's he going to do? Expel me?"

"That or fire me." The truth of that statement hit Spike hard.

"Buffy, I didn't mean-"

She put her index finger to his lips and she shook her head. "It's not even an issue. But go...if he catches up with you, he probably will kick you out for good. And I kind of like you coming around here. Definitely brightens up my day."

He smiled, leaned over and kissed her quickly on the forehead and took off towards the library.

-----------------------------

Spike strolled into the library, seeing Giles and Willow talking at the table. He took off his duster and walked over, taking a seat next to Giles.

"Where have you been? I keep getting waves of nervousness wash over me because Buffy could have come in and even thinking that I might have to lie to her sends me into a fit and she picks up on it very quickly. Then the questions would come and I would have to sit here and try not to blabber on and on, trying to think of anything to talk about other than you-"

"Sorry, Red. Ran into her, myself."

"What?" Willow yelled. "Now she knows you're here and I'm here and she's going to get all suspicious and then the questions will come and I don't do well with Buffy's questions, Spike."

"She thinks I'm here to talk to Rupert. If it makes you feel any better, I'll tell her I saw you, what we talked about so there's no weirdness, alright?" Willow nodded enthusiastically, obviously liking that idea very much. "Hey there, Rupes."

"William," Giles said with a nod, a bemused look on his face. "And don't call me that."

"So, what's up?" Willow asked, cheerfully.

"Nothing much, actually."

"Nothing? Then why did you call me in such a panic and demand to see me?"

"It wasn't a panic. I don't panic." Spike heard Giles huff in response. "What? I don't..."

"Is this about Tara and Buffy's talk last night?" Willow asked, her voice showing her concern.

"They talked?" Spike asked, feigning ignorance.

"You know, you're not very good at playing dumb," Willow said, laughing. "We both know our girls' inside and out. I'm guessing that if Tara told me, Buffy definitely told you."

"Yeah...okay, so I lied. Stake me. But I didn't call you in a panic."

Willow simply nodded her head and let it go. "Again, I ask what's up?"

"Do you and Tara talk about what went down with Warren?" Spike asked quickly, his words slurring together. Willow heard him, though and she instantly understood.

"Is Buffy being all avoid-y?" Spike only nodded in the affirmative. "Spike, it's what she does. You know this."

"But I want her to talk to me-"

"That might very well be, William, but if Buffy isn't ready, then she isn't," Giles put in.

"Rupert, it was two years ago. She's never talked about it. I'm not exaggerating here. I mean she has never once said a word about it. She simply pretends that it-"

"Didn't happen," Willow finished. "It's Buffy's way. You've known her for ten years, Spike. You've been her boyfriend for almost nine of those. You don't know that this is the way she operates?"

"I do know. She plays everything close to the cuff. I get that. I do it myself but I still talk to her. I thought after a few months, she would want to talk about it, get some of those emotions out but nothing. And you," he paused, staring at Willow pointedly, "had to send Sean Meers to talk to her. What the hell were you thinking?"

Willow was taken aback and tried to respond, only to fail miserably every time she opened her mouth. Giles felt the need to step in and take Willow's side as he noticed the girl becoming increasing flustered.

"William, honestly, you can not blame Willow. It is both their jobs to care for the students of this school."

"Don't hand me that line of bullshit, Rupert," Spike said angrily, hardening his voice as he said second syllable in Giles's name. "You know bloody well that Red here could have gone to that pillock Cosgrove." Turning his attention back to Willow, his voice low and strained, "Why did you think that was a good idea?"

"Look, Spike, I don't know if you're yelling at me and blaming me in some twisted attempt to make yourself feel better that Buffy isn't confiding in you but this isn't my fault. You are not the only one that almost lost someone that day. Tara died, Spike. For a full minute, my life crumbled so don't pull a guilt trip with me," Willow said, her voice just as low and strained. She looked him straight in the eye and her face softened, along with her tone. "I guess I thought it would be therapeutic for everyone. Me, her, Tara and you. Tara and I discuss what happened, but we were both aware that you don't. Not from anything Buffy has said but more from what she hasn't. The opportunity presented itself and I asked her to do it. I knew it would be hard for her but I thought it had to be done."

"That really wasn't your decision."

"Spike, she could have said no. She had the chance and she could have sent him to Snyder or Cosgrove, but she chose to stick it out and work with him. That says a lot about what she might be thinking. You just have to give-"

"Her time. Yeah, given her all the bloody time in the world..."

"Then you're just going to have to find some more," Willow said as she stretched her arm across the table and patted his hands that were clenched together. "Buffy will tell you when she is ready to or she may never tell you. Either way, be prepared for it. Remember how long it took for her to tell you even the tiniest of details about her and Angel? Or when Joyce was sick and she closed herself off from everyone, including you? But she let go of it eventually and opened up." Willow took a breath, released her hand from Spike's and leaned back in her chair. "For a counselor who is hell bent on her student's being open with her, Buffy sure does like to keep her emotions close to her heart. She needs to deal with it on her own before she can let anyone else in on it."

"I know this. I'm just at the end of my rope," Spike muttered as he ran his hands through his hair, putting his head in between his forearms.

"Get some more rope," Willow joked. He glanced up from his place, a smirk slowly coming to his lips. "We good?" Spike nodded. "Thank goodness. I hate fighting. I get all spazzy."

"Red, you get spazzy even when you're not fighting." Willow shot Spike a look and then acquiesced, nodding in agreement. "I told Buffy I'd be talking to you about the wedding, so, Rupert, you need to get a suit."

"For?"

"Your duty as best man..."

"What happened to the tuxes?"

"She had some sort of wedding epiphany. No more tuxes. Plus, she got a peek at me in my suit looking extremely dashing and I wasn't going to argue."

"I bet," Willow said, under her breath. "So she told you about all the changes?" Spike looked at her in surprise. "Okay...maybe she didn't. There's no changes. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm still all loopy from the almost lying and the almost fighting."

"What kind of changes?" Spike asked, forcefully, but made sure he smiled so she knew not to take his tone seriously.

"Essentially the guest list, the tuxes and the place...not so much, see?" Willow said, meekly.

"What about the guest list?"

"She wants to cut the numbers down by a lot." He raised his eyebrow in question. "To about 50 or so..."

Spike couldn't help it. He had no control over his facial muscles and he broke out in a big grin. "Thank bloody Christ!" he yelled as he held his arms up in a sign of victory.

"Yeah, yay?" Willow agreed, even though she wasn't exactly sure why he was that excited over a smaller wedding.

"Do you know how much I dreaded hobnobbing with those people? I never said anything but I never wanted anything to do with anyone outside the people we all know." Spike shook his head. "This is why I love her, ya know?"

"Because she cut the list?" Willow asked confused.

Spike rolled his eyes up. "No, it's because we're going along planning this picture perfect wedding and then out of nowhere everything changes. No explanations are given and believe me, none are necessary in this case, but she can be so rash and impulsive. She thinks it's a flaw but, man, it drives me insane...in a good way."

"What color suit am I supposed to be getting?"

"Talk to the bride. I'm not getting into color coordinating or any of that other business."

Giles suddenly remembered that Buffy had wanted to talk to him the other day before Sean had interrupted. "Do you know what Buffy wanted to talk to me about?"

"Uh, yeah, I do...but I'm leaving that up to her." The bell rang startling the three of them as they didn't realize fifty minutes had passed.

"Eek, I have to get upstairs," Willow said, quickly gathering her things. Spike walked around the table and gave her a hug. "If there's one person she'll talk to, it will be you," she whispered and pat him on the back. They let go and she gave a quick goodbye to Giles and was out the swinging doors in an instant.

"Tea?" Giles asked. Spike made a face and Giles laughed. "Well, I'm having some. Come." Spike followed Giles into the librarian's small office and watched amused as Giles went about making his tea. "Anya bought me delicious Earl Grey. Imported from home. I couldn't take another cup of Red Rose something or other."

"Lipton's not so bad."

Giles looked at him in horror. "You're becoming Americanized, you do realize."

"Me? Let's take a gander at Rupert, shall we? Tweed's gone, glasses are different, you actually know what fun means, you finally got rid of that Citroen and bought yourself a nice mid-life crisis mobile and got married to someone twenty years younger. I think we're both goners."

"As you have seemed to have forgotten, I had to get rid of the Citroen after you crashed it."

"Yeah, well, for the best, right?" Spike asked, grinning. Giles merely sighed and sat down. Spike followed his lead and sat in the other chair. "Buffy tells me you two had a talk the other day."

"Yes, indeed we did."

"What about? Unless it's private, of course. Not exactly sure what's so private between you two, though..."

"We talked about what she did for you."

"The name, you mean?" Giles nodded his head and took a sip of his tea. "And what's there to talk about?"

"I commended her for doing what I couldn't and never wanted to do," Giles said, trying to sound as if the statement weren't as heavy as it was.

"Why's that now?"

"I suppose it's like any adopted parent, although I'm not yours legally...I was afraid of the hurt you may suffer if you wanted to look for your parents. I can't say I understand that need to know where you belong-"

"I belong here," Spike said, simply.

"Yes, well, you were lucky enough to have found Buffy, to form a life here. I was only worried with what finding out would do to that."

"It's done nothing but give me a last name." Spike leaned back in the chair and sighed. "Rupert, you know I don't get into the mandy pandy heart to hearts, but when I say I belong here, I don't just mean Buffy." Giles looked at him wide-eyed, taking in what Spike had said. "She always tells me there is a reason for everything and I finally believe that."

"William-" Giles began.

"Look, there's a reason why I was given up, why I was never picked by a family, there's a reason why you took that job at Davies only two weeks before I arrived, there's a reason for our relationship, for you coming here to Sunnydale of all the places in the world, for me coming a year later, for seeing Buffy for a split second in the library and for seeing her again the next week, crying her eyes out over Angel. I have to believe there is. If I didn't, nothing would make sense. I wouldn't understand anything."

"William," Giles said, trying to intervene again. When he noticed that Spike wasn't going forward, he began, "Although it gives me great joy and comfort that I have given you a reason to, well, not be insane, I can't imagine that after all the years of wondering where your parents are, you're not in the least curious to find them."

"I'm not. You are my family and Buffy and the whole lot of them. You're all that I know. It's all I want to know. I talked to Angel about it, he gave me the names on the birth certificate but that's all that they are. Names. It's not like if I put water on them, I'll get insta-parents." Spike stood from his chair and stretched a bit. "Wipe that look of guilt off your face, Rupes. I wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for you. You're the best non-father a bloke could have." Giles stood also and grabbed a hold of Spike, crushing him in a hug that threw Spike off guard. It was bit awkward, patting on each other's backs, both trying desperately to remain manly while relaying the love they both had for each other.

-----------------------------

"Buffy Summers speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hi, Buffy, it's Tara."

"Oh, hey! So weird...I was just thinking about the invites."

"Are you busy? I wanted to run something by you."

"Nope, pretty non-busy, actually. Just writing up some progress reports. What's going on?"

"I wasn't sure what picture you were going to use, but your mom has a copy of that one from your prom."

"That was one of the three, actually."

"Really? See I knew that!" They both laughed and Tara continued, "Well, I did a pencil of it. It's just a rough draft but I added some colors to it. Tried to brighten it up a bit, bring some life to it. If you would rather the photo, it's easy enough to do but it was slow today and I felt an itch on my artistic muscle."

"I would love to see it. Can you do up a demo of the invite for us?" Buffy asked, excitement in her voice.

"Sure can. I can have it done by tomorrow night. Do you feel like dragging Spike along?"

"Absolutely. He'll go with a smile on his face even if I have to-" Buffy was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Can you hold on a second, Tara?"

"Yes, believe me, I'm glad you didn't finish that sentence." They both laughed and Buffy took the phone from her ear.

"Come in!" Spike walked in and closed the door, a small smile on his face. She held up her finger and he nodded. She brought the phone back to her ear and said, "Speak of the devil."

"He's there? Okay, I'm thoroughly freaked out right now so I'm going to go. I'm here until eight tomorrow night so come whenever you want."

"We will. Thanks again, Tara." She hung up the phone and looked at Spike expectantly. "You haven't gone?" He didn't say anything, just continued to look at her. "Uh, what's the matter? You're acting all-" Buffy was abruptly cut off as he strode over to her quickly and lifted her from her chair, kissing her immediately. He let go of her lips, but still held on to her upper arms. "Yeah, okay...what is up with you?"

"I need a reason to kiss you now?"

"No, it's just...you're acting kind of strange. You come in here, don't say anything but do that staring thing and then you start with the kissing. Just wondering what's gotten into you is all."

"You."

"Me?" Buffy squeaked out.

"You want to break in that furniture?"

------------------------------------

"Hel-lo!" Buffy sang out as she entered the teacher's lounge. Willow looked up from her papers and smiled at Buffy. She sat down on her seat and grinned like a maniac. "So...how has your day been?"

"Dandy...and you look mighty happy."

"I am happy. It's such a nice feeling, isn't it? It's not like I'm not happy all the time but today just feels like a really happy day."

"Did you get mochas without me?" Buffy shook her head no, still smiling. Willow looked at her friend and noticed the flush of her skin, the bun that was perfect that morning, now messy and the grin. The grin is what gave her away. "Please tell me you did not just have," Willow lowered her voice to a whisper, "sex in your office, Buffy!"

"Alright, I won't tell you that," Buffy answered her, smirking.

"You're bad!"

"Yes, I'm very naughty. I'm a naughty but very happy girl."

"Damn you. I'm very seldom naughty," Willow added, pouting. "So did you guys talk or did you just do that thing?"

"Not so much with the talking but I have to take what I can get..."

"Oh, right because you and Spike aren't all over each other every single day. You're the closest couple I know...besides me and Tara, of course."

"Of course," Buffy agreed. "Do you ever wonder how we got so lucky? I mean you with Tara, me with Spike. Millions of people roam the Earth and never find it. We both thought we found it before and thought we'd never get it again...but then amazing people enter our lives and we're complete. How come we're the lucky ones?"

"I wish I could say something unselfish about this topic but the truth is? I'm glad it's me and you're glad it's you. I don't want to feel guilty that I found the love of my life. And I know you don't either."

"True, no more thinking thoughts like that." 

"So...did he tell you what he and Giles talked about?" Willow asked, tentatively, making sure she wasn't giving herself away.

"Nope...he literally said two sentences to me before...well, you know and then I got a goodbye. Why are you so curious if we talked or not?"

"Not!" Willow's voice raised an octave too high. "I'm not. Just, you know, wondering. Being nosey."

"Did you see him in the library? I came here looking for you during third, but you weren't here. Assumed you were in the library with the two of them."

"Me? In the library? Uh, the library, huh...that's where they were?"

"It's where Giles lives. What is going on with everyone today? You're all acting so weird. First Spike, now you..." Buffy trailed off, thinking. She looked at Willow and could see the girl turning red. "Aha! You two were talking about something and I'm not supposed to know."

"What? No! Never! Why would we do that? I mean, we're your best friends...that would be back-handed and wrong or-"

"Willow, stop! You're doing the Energizer Bunny routine on me." Willow sighed and looked down, feeling guilty. "So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on or do I have to beat it out of Spike?"

"Beat it out of Spike," Willow answered too quickly. She looked back at Buffy, giving her a shy smile.

Buffy studied her friend some more and then it hit her. "You're lying for him...or something. But you are definitely showing signs of being caught in a lie."

"Okay, okay! You're like the Grand Inquisitor. It's very disconcerting, you know."

"Will..."

"He wanted to talk to me, it's no big."

"About what?" Buffy started to feel a tightening in her stomach as she got an idea exactly what he wanted to talk to Willow about.

"Uh, the wedding?"

"Nice try. Let's go for something convincing this time."

"Sean."

"I knew it!" Buffy yelled. "He said he understood, that he'd give me the time I needed...apparently all just bullshit to appease me. That is so infuriating!"

"Buffy, please don't be mad. He didn't mean any harm. He will give you the time...he just wanted to know why, I guess..."

"Why what?"

"Why you haven't talked about it with him."

"I haven't talked about it to anyone. It's a subject that I'm not very fond of. I like to repress the bad memories," Buffy said, pouting a bit. "He's a getting a talking to when I get home tonight."

Willow looked at her friend as she attacked her lunch and felt it was best to not say another word about the subject. She cursed Spike silently for not telling Buffy why he was here like he had said he would but the more she studied her friend, the more her anger turned to pity for the groom.

*****************************


	17. 17

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

*****************************

Chapter 17

Flashback

"Oh, I don't know," Buffy lamented.

"You never will unless you ask," Willow told her.

"But what if he thinks it's like a date. I don't want him to think that I'm asking him just so I can have an escort or whatever."

"He won't. It's fairly obvious to everyone, except for you, apparently, that he would take you regardless the situation," Cordy said as she picked up a dress from the rack and held it up to her. "Is it me or is everything hideous this year?"

"It's not you," Buffy said as she did the same.

"You have a dress. Why are you looking?" Willow asked.

"I had a dress for when I was going with Angel. If I ask Spike-"

"When you ask Spike, you mean," Cordy interrupted.

"When, if, whatever...there's a whole different vibe with him."

"You sound like Cordelia right now," Willow said, laughing.

"Dressing for your date is not unheard of. Plus, she's going to want to look fantastic." Cordelia grabbed a maroon and black dress from the rack and brought it to Buffy. "She wants there to be drool."

"No, I don't! Well...not a lot and not on me." She looked at the other two who were giving her disbelieving looks. "See, this is why I don't think I should ask him."

"Because of the drool?" Willow asked.

"We're friends. Good friends. In almost two months, he has become this constant. And not just for me, either. He watches Dawnie which he says he does because he likes it but it's Dawnie...the world's smallest pain in the ass, your boyfriends are friends with him now, my mom loves him..."

"It's like you're dating without all the perks of dating," Cordy said. "I see your point now."

"So, he likes to do things for you and with you...not a big deal. And so what if he likes you? He hasn't said anything about that yet, right? He's happy to just be your friend."

"Sure, but how long can a guy do that, Will? Believe me, I don't think that he's my friend first so he can have an easier in with me. I love him being my friend. He's easy to talk to, non-judgmental...on most subjects. I've even talked to him about my dad." Both girls looked at Buffy in surprise. "It's so weird. Hank is not a subject that I like to explore but maybe because he has that abandonment issue as well...it makes it easier."

"Well, I think you should just ask him. I think it will make the night even better to have him there with you," Willow said as she picked out her dress.

"Finally!" Cordelia shouted as she picked up a dress. "Let's try these on and resign ourselves to the fact that there is nothing here."

"I kind of like this one," Buffy said as then entered the dressing rooms.

"Of course you do. I picked it out," Cordy said with a wink. As they tried on their dresses, Cordelia said, "I have an idea. Why don't you take Xander? He'll probably pee his pants at the idea of taking you to the prom and I'll take Spike. That way no weirdness."

Buffy thought about that for a minute and was uncomfortable with the idea of Spike being Cordelia's date. "Thanks, Cordy, but I don't think so."

"Ooh, I think I see the ugly green monster," Cordy teased.

"Whatever," Buffy responded.

"Are you guys ready?" Willow asked and got a simultaneous yes. "Count of three? One...two...three." At that the three girls opened their doors and stepped out. "Wow, you guys look amazing."

"Not so bad yourself, Will," Buffy said as she twirled in front of the three-way mirror. "Cordy, this dress is..."

"Drool worthy?"

"Yes, definitely. I found my dress and Cordy can gloat forever that she picked out the only pretty dress Buffy ever wore," Buffy joked.

"Damn straight I will. Move so I can see myself."

--------------------------

"Popcorn?" Spike asked Buffy, putting the bag in front of her. She shook her head no and he shrugged. He leaned over and whispered, "Something wrong, pet? This movie isn't that interesting."

"Shh, I'm trying to watch." He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Can you stop shaking your leg like that?"

"Did I do something to piss you off?"

"SHH!" Buffy and Spike heard from the people around them.

"Sorry!" Buffy said.

"I'm going," Spike said abruptly and got out of his seat.

"Spike, wait!" Buffy called out.

"SHH!!"

"Oh, will you people calm down? The movie sucks!" Buffy yelled and ran after Spike. When she finally caught up with him, she grabbed his arm and turned him around. "Why did you take off?"

"What's your problem tonight?" Spike asked, his jaw clenching in frustration.

"Nothing. What's yours?"

"Oh, no. You're not turning this around on me. Did something happen today?"

"No."

"Xander said that you all went shopping. That doesn't usually put you in such a foul mood."

"I'm not in a foul mood," Buffy snapped.

"Right, so we're playing kick the Spike for fun, is it?" He removed her hand from his arm and walked away, leaving Buffy with a stunned expression on her face. She watched him walk out the front door of the theater and shook her head in shame.

Spike stood outside the theater and lit a cigarette. "Bloody hell," he swore under his breath. He paced back and forth, going over the evenings events, not finding anything that would be a reason for her behavior. He had noticed that she was being quiet but he hadn't pressed the issue. For the life of him, he couldn't figure it out and that was making him more annoyed.

"You're making me dizzy," he heard Buffy say. He stopped pacing and stood in front of her looking for an explanation. "I'm being a bitch, I know."

"Bloody right you are."

"I have a lot of things on my mind, that's all. I probably shouldn't have come tonight."

Spike tried to ignore the last comment and asked, "What kind of things? Anything you want to talk about?"

"No...maybe. I don't know."

"You're all over the place."

"I'm just...I'm going to go home."

"I'll walk you."

"No, don't. I have some things to work out in my head. I need some alone time." She gave him an apologetic smile and walked past him, leaving Spike with the stunned expression this time.

-------------------------------

"Buffy? Is that you?" Joyce called from the living room.

"Is Spike with you?" Dawn asked, jumping up from the floor and running into the foyer. Her smile quickly disappeared when she saw Buffy alone. "It's just Buffy," she added, grumpily.

Buffy walked into the living room, sitting next to her mother on the couch. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing, watching TV. I thought you were going to the movies with Spike," Joyce said.

"We did...it was, uh, bad so we left."

"And he didn't come back with you?" Joyce asked, surprised.

"He's not with me, is he?"

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you I don't like the tone in your voice," Joyce said, sternly.

"Ooh, Buffy's in trouble. This is always fun," Dawn commented.

"Shut up, Dawn. I'm going to bed." Buffy got off the couch and walked over to the stairs. "If he calls, don't wake me up, okay?" Joyce nodded and wondered what had happened that she wouldn't talk to Spike.

"If Buffy did something bad to Spike and he never comes over here, I'm never talking to her again," Dawn said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Dawn-" Joyce began.

"I'm not kidding, Mom. I'll like disown her or something."

----------------------

"Leave me alone, Dawn," Buffy said, sleepily. "Stop shaking me, you little brat." She felt her shoulder still being nudged, bringing her further out of her pleasant dream state. "That is it!" She quickly sat up and shoved the person off the bed.

"Jesus!" Spike yelled.

"Spike? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Trying to talk to you."

"Well, apparently you didn't notice, but I was sleeping!" She flopped down on her bed, throwing her covers over her head. "Get out."

"Not until we talk," Spike said, getting off the floor and sitting at the bottom of her bed.

"If I knew how to say leave in French, I'd say it in hopes that it was just English you were having a hard time with tonight."

"I talked to Willow."

Buffy threw the covers off of her and shot straight up. "You did what?"

"Now don't get angry, luv-"

"It is not the time for pet names, Spike," she interrupted.

"She didn't tell me much. Only that Angel called you this afternoon after you got home. Is that why your upset?"

"Yeah," she huffed angrily. "Sure, whatever. Sounds good."

"I'm trying to get to the bottom of this, pe...Buffy."

"PeBuffy?" she asked, smirking. "Yes, Angel called. No, I'm not upset that he did. Not really. It's not the cause of my upsetness. Okay?"

"So what is? Because I can't think of anything I did for why you're treating me like I'm the devil incarnate."

"It's nothing. He offered to take me somewhere and I said no. Again."

"You know you're being extremely vague, right?"

"Was kind of doing it on purpose," she answered, meekly.

"Where did he want to take you?"

"See, that's the thing. He doesn't want to take me. And I don't want him to take me. It's sort of a pity invite and I'd rather go by myself than take a date out of pity."

"Where are you going by yourself?" Spike asked, trying to remain patient. He felt like he was literally dragging the words from her mouth.

"My prom," Buffy told him, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Your prom? Why didn't you just ask me?"

"It would be another pity date but with a different guy." She could see him starting to angry and she really couldn't blame him. If she had done what Willow and Cordelia had told her, this all would not be happening. Buffy knew full well that going with Spike would be anything but a pity date. He would have made the night special. It never would have been about pity.

"Do you think I'm friends with you because I pity you?" Spike asked, his voice deep in anger.

"No, no, of course not. I didn't mean that. I spoke before I thought. It just came out-"

Spike stood up and put his hands on his waist. She took in his form and tried her hardest to block out the way it made her feel inside. "When is it?"

"Next Friday."

"Be ready, Summers." He turned and went out the door. Not even a minute later she heard the front door slam shut. Her door flew open and Dawn stood in the doorway.

"What did you do now?" Dawn demanded.

----------------------------------------

"Buffy, you look beautiful," Joyce gushed.

"Mom, please stop. You're making me nervous and I was trying to go for a non-nervous thing."

"Fine, fine, I'll try. Shoot me for being motherly. Can't help it, you know." Joyce held out a box to Buffy. "I got you a little something. I had to exchange them after you switched dresses on me but these are better."

Buffy opened the box to find dangling garnet earrings set with marcasite stones, a matching necklace and a hairclip. "Oh my god, Mom! This had to cost a fortune. We don't have money for this..."

"Honey, that new dress you have on was a lot cheaper than your other that we brought back and so here's the difference. Do not worry about it," Joyce explained as she did the clasp on the necklace. "Ah, perfect match."

"So should I pull the sides back?" Buffy asked as she held the sides of her hair from her face. "And put the clip down low? So it's sort of up but the back is still down?" Joyce nodded enthusiastically and helped Buffy with her hair. "I look so girly. Thank you!" She gave her mother a tight hug and she felt a tear drop fall on her bare shoulder. "Mom..."

"Sorry, sorry...can't help it!"

They heard the doorbell ring and Dawn yell that she would answer it. Buffy looked in the mirror again, fixing the waves of her hair, making sure the clip that held the sides back was firmly in place. She stood back from the mirror, giving herself the once over yet again.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous...it's just Spike," Buffy said, under her breath.

"Uh-huh, just Spike," Joyce agreed, amused that her daughter didn't get it. "I'll go down and keep him company. And, honey, don't forget your shawl."

"Yes, Mom." Taking a few deep breaths and letting them out slowly, she grabbed the matching shawl from her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. She stood in front of the mirror again and wrinkled her nose. She didn't want him to see her with the shawl first. _Best to just carry the shawl and then put it on. What does it matter, Buffy? It's just Spike._ She checked her hair again. _You're stalling. Don't leave him down there too long with Dawn. There might not be a Spike left._ Another deep breath. _Okay, we're good. And just keep telling yourself it's only Spike. Be calm and cool._

-----------------------

" Spike, you look amazing," Joyce said as she came down the stairs.

"Thank you, Mrs. Summers. Is she ready?"

"Call me Joyce for the hundredth time and she's a girl. It could be another twenty minutes," Joyce teased.

"Hi, Spike!" Dawn said, running in from the kitchen.

"Hey again, Bit. How'd that math test go?"

"Fine, fractions suck."

"Dawn, watch you language," Joyce scolded.

"Buffy says it all the time!" Dawn whined.

"That may be, but she doesn't around me so I can't yell at her about it. Spike, please explain this to my youngest. She seems to listen to you."

"Dawn, you really shouldn't say-"

"Oh, please," Dawn interrupted. "You're always saying bloody this and sodding that. I'm not sure what it means, but I can guess that it's not very nice."

"I guess I'm going to have to lecture everyone about their language," Joyce muttered.

"Mrs...Joyce, I'm sor-" 

Joyce laughed, cutting him off. "It's fine. I'm only giving her a hard time," she said quietly to Spike.

"Ah, a little reverse psycho-" Spike stopped talking as he saw Buffy walking down the stairs. She was a vision and he suddenly had trouble breathing as she made her way down.

"Hi," Buffy greeted him as she made it to the foyer. "You look...with the tux. Clean up well."

"And you..." Spike coughed to clear his throat. "Very nice, as well." _Very nice? Really poetic. Way to win her heart, wanker._

Buffy did a small curtsey. "Thank you. I just have to get something from the kitchen. I'll be right back." _Oh god, oh god. Spike plus tux equals too good looking. Too hard to resist. Must resist double-o Spike. Must not be swayed by bow tie and cummerbund. _Buffy opened the fridge, grabbing his boutonniere. Taking a few deep breaths, she made her way back to him. _You keep breathing like that, Buff, you're bound to pass out sometime during the night._

"I'm not exactly sure how to put this on...I've never had to boutonniere anyone," Buffy said with a smile.

"I'll do it, honey," Joyce offered. "Old pro at this sort of thing."

"This is yours," Spike said, handing her a beautiful corsage. "Cordelia made it a point to let me know that a wrist corsage was the only acceptable kind to get. That and if you showed up with one pinned to your dress, she would personally kick my as...bum. Kick my rear."

Buffy laughed saying, "Sounds just like Cordy. The roses match perfectly."

"Okay, handsome, you're all set. Can I at least get a couple of pictures?"

"Mom..."

"It was a mistake to ask, I know. I'm telling you I'm taking some pictures so get into position," Joyce told her.

After what seemed like an eternity of pictures being taken with every combination of people one could think of, Joyce let them get on their way.

"Do you have something after the prom?" Joyce asked as she walked them out the door.

"Cordy's having a little bash back at her house, but if you want me to come right home, I can," Buffy answered.

"No, no, you go out. Have fun. Believe me, I don't think my parents saw me until dawn the night of my prom. Just be careful and no drinking and driving."

"No worries, Joyce. Wouldn't put Buffy in any danger," Spike said quickly, hoping to reassure the somewhat apprehensive Joyce.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll call if I plan on being very late, okay?" Joyce nodded and went back in the house. "Wow, never thought we'd get out of there," Buffy commented as she went to open her door.

"Uh-uh, luv. Let me. You get the full gentleman treatment tonight," Spike said as he opened her door.

"Oh, goody!" Spike got in on the driver's side and went to start the car but stopped. "Something wrong, Spike?"

He looked her straight in the eyes, trying to convey what he was feeling as well as thinking. "You really do look lovely tonight, pet." Buffy blushed and looked away. "Love the colors."

"That's why I bought it," Buffy said quietly, still not looking at him. He was still watching her though and he was taken aback by what she said. However, there was a dance to get to and now was not the time to start the conversation of what she meant by that. He shook his head and started the car.

-----------------------------

As Buffy and Spike entered the gym of Sunnydale High to the sounds of "We are Family", they looked at each other, rolled their eyes and laughed. Spotting Willow at a table, she pointed and they made their way over. They both heard the whispers, noticed the looks from both the male and female prom-goers and it made them both smile out of pride for who they had on their arm. _This might not be so bad after all_, they both thought.

"Hey guys!" Buffy greeted as they arrived at the table. "Have we missed anything important?"

"Nothing besides the DJ's entire catalogue from the 70's," Oz told them.

"Well, it doesn't seem like he's moving on any time soon," Cordy said, snidely. "Just because it's a prom and the whole event is a bit on the cheesy side, the music doesn't have to follow suit."

"Here, here," Buffy agreed. Looking around the room, she spotted Giles looking like he'd rather be anywhere else but there. "Giles looks like he's about to combust."

"But he looks great. Who would have thought?" Willow asked. "I think tuxes just make everyone look better. I mean, did you see Jonathan?"

"Yeah, on my way in. What's up with the buxom, tall blonde for a date? Way to go Jonathan, huh?" Buffy said, smiling.

"They should be doing the announcements soon," Xander said, nervously.

"Honey, there's not reason to be nervous for me. It's not like anyone else could be prom queen," Cordy said, patting his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Hearing protests from Buffy and Willow, she quickly said, "Don't get me wrong. You guys look really great tonight but we all know that I'm the queen at this table."

Willow rolled her eyes and said to Xander, "Don't worry. Twelve years of being a dork will not go unnoticed."

"Hey! Not a dork. Funny, joke-guy. I make light of any situation. It's my thing."

"And a creative way to not deal with serious issues," Buffy commented. Off Xander's look, she said, "Kidding! Sort of..."

"I don't care what you say. I deserve this. Like Cordy, I am the clown at this table."

"You get no arguments from me," Cordy quipped, looking at Xander like he was insane. "C'mon, let's dance, dorkhead."

Spike leaned over to Buffy, "Do you want to dance?"

"Um, not yet. Still taking in the scene. Later?" Spike nodded and leaned back in his chair. "Snyder hasn't kicked anyone out yet? Harmony hasn't said something stupid? No one's done anything?"

"Does Harmony ever say anything smart?" Willow joked. "That would be cause for surprise."

"Snyder's just walking around, glaring. You know, what he does best," Oz put in.

"So what you're telling me is that the prom is a rocking good time?" Buffy asked, sarcastically.

"Pretty much," Oz concurred.

Turning to Spike, Buffy said, "Sorry about this whole thing. I know it's not exactly you're idea of-"

"Nonsense, pet," Spike said, smiling to reassure her.

Buffy caught a glimpse of Xander talking to Larry and she laughed. "Does Larry still think Xander's gay?"

"Probably. I don't think anyone told him otherwise," Willow told her. "I think Larry thinks Xander dating Cordy is only for face."

Xander looked over at his friends and mouthed the word help which caused everyone at the table to laugh. He rolled his eyes in frustration, not believing that no one would come to his aid.

"Maybe one of us should go rescue him," Buffy said.

"I'll go," Spike volunteered. Before Buffy could respond, Spike was out of his chair and making his way over to Xander and Larry. She watched as Spike shook Larry's hand and made small talk. Her eyes bulged when she saw Spike slowly put his arm around Xander's shoulder. She could see on Xander's face that the move had caught him completely off guard.

"What is he doing?" Willow asked, laughing.

"I have no idea but it seems to have made Larry happy," Buffy commented as she watched Larry grab Xander in a bear hug and do the same to Spike. He patted them on each their backs and gave Xander and Spike a thumbs up before shaking his head and turning away. "They're coming back. Xander looks like he's ready to pop."

As they arrived back at the table, Xander was saying, "But there was no need to do that. Why would you do that?"

"You said help, so I helped. He's not asking to dance with you anymore, is he?" Spike asked, throwing Buffy an amused look.

"That's so not the point at this point! He thinks I'm your...that we're...I can't even form words," Xander argued.

"Look, mate, you asked for it."

"I didn't ask for that!"

"Eh, well, he won't be bothering you about coming out anymore, now will he?" Spike asked, his smirk pissing Xander off even more.

"I wasn't coming out in the first place!"

"Are you sure about that?" Spike asked, having far too much fun at Xander's expense.

"Have you not seen the beautiful girl that I have been dating for the last year?" Xander asked, angrily.

"Xander, you do know he is kidding with you, right?" Oz asked, trying to hide his own smile.

"I think the whelp doth protest too much," Spike said, taking his seat next to Buffy again.

"Right, you're British so you have to go with the Shakespeare," Xander said, grumpily, taking a seat as well.

"A lot of people know Shakespeare, Xander. Not just British people," Willow threw in. "I know Shakespeare and I'm not British...um, obviously."

"You know everything, Will. It doesn't count for you." Xander thought for a moment before his eyes went wide in realization of what Spike had said. "I am not gay!"

"Well, I should hope not," Cordelia said as she rejoined the table. "Otherwise, I've been wasting all this time getting you just the way I like."

--------------------------

"Jack Mayhew? It's a crock!" Xander lamented. "Anyone can do what he does. Look, I can pick up the salt and pepper shakers and do a whole routine with them." Off everyone's looks, he quickly said, "I won't. But do you see my point? Props are not funny!"

"We're sorry, Xand," Willow said, an apologetic look on her face.

"I thought you were a shoe-in," Buffy put in, trying to help.

"Is my crown on straight?" Cordy asked, her hands on both sides of it. She looked at the other couples staring at her. "What? Did my hair fall?"

"Cordy, Xander's having a bit of a crisis here," Willow said, trying to be discreet.

Cordelia turned to look at Xander and saw just how upset he really was. "Oh, honey," she began, patting his knee, "If it will help, we can get you an entire jester's costume, not just that silly hat that Jack's running around with." Xander looked at her and shook his head before placing it on the table. "You can have my crown if you want..."

"Yeah, Xander can be the queen!" Willow said, not realizing the implication of what she had said.

Xander's head shot up and he glared at Spike. "Murder isn't always a criminal act, right? I mean, there's circumstances for everything."

Spike threw up his hands and said, "Hey, I didn't say it. Talk to Red, over there."

"You might not have said it but you started it."

"Do I even want to know what you're talking about?" Cordy asked, confusion on her face.

"Spike and Xander are lovers," Buffy informed her.

Cordelia looked back and forth between the two and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, Xander's always had good taste." Spike grinned and Xander groaned. "Are we leaving soon? This place is dying quickly."

"Another half hour?" Willow asked.

"Sure. I'm parched. Xander?" Cordy asked, expectantly.

"Uh, what?"

"Get me some punch. Please."

"Good thing you said please," Xander said, as he got up. "Anyone else want?" Willow and Buffy both raised their hands. "Why'd I even ask?"

"I'll be right back," Spike whispered in Buffy's ear, which instantly gave her goose bumps. She watched him walk away but quickly lost sight of him in the crowd.

"Earth to Buffy, come in Buffy," Willow said as she waved her arms in the air. Buffy looked at her, barely registering that Willow was talking to her. "Are you going to bite the proverbial bullet and dance with the poor guy?"

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Cordy asked.

"I've danced with him."

"Sure, you have. But I'm talking a nice slow dance, where you may actually have to touch him," Willow explained.

"Oh...yeah, that kind. I'm going to."

"Tonight or..." Oz questioned, trailing off.

"What tonight?" Xander asked as he set down the cups in front of the three girls.

"Buffy, Spike, dancing," Willow told him.

"If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to," Xander said. "I think they're doing perfectly fine without the dancing and touching parts."

"Could you possibly not fawn over Buffy while your girlfriend sits next to you?" Cordelia asked, sarcastically.

"Answer the question, Buff," Willow pressed.

"I don't wanna," Buffy pouted.

"You don't want to dance with him?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Valid decision, Buffy," Xander intervened.

"Shut up, Xander," Cordy said in response.

"No, I don't want to answer the question," Buffy broke in.

"Answer what question?" Spike asked as he sat back down.

"Uh, if I would be...uh, drinking this punch that Xander brought over. I'm not big on punch," Buffy answered, her face growing redder the more she talked. The opening strings of a slow song started and Buffy glanced down at her hands, twisiting themselves over in her lap. She saw Spike's hand come into view and felt him lean into her.

"We're dancing," he told her softly. She looked at him, meeting his eyes and knew there was no more lame excuses for putting it off. She nodded and took his hand. She glanced at Willow, apprehension clearly written on her face but Willow only gave her a big smile of encouragement.

As they reached the dance floor, Buffy stood awkwardly in front of him, not exactly sure what to do. Spike took the initiative and placed his right hand on her waist and took her right hand into his. She slowly put her left hand on his shoulder and then began to move around, mimicking the other couples on the dance floor.

"Pretty song," Buffy commented, trying to break the silence.

"Etta James. Classic." Buffy looked at him, a smirk on her lips. "Not in the Suspiria classic kind of way..."

"I thought you were all about the rock of the ages."

"Blame Rupert. Closet blues freak. I was surprised that they even had it."

"You requested it?" Spike only smiled and Buffy listened to the words, trying to get a feel for the meaning. "At last, huh?"

He shrugged, then smiled. "Should've danced before this, luv. Could've danced with you all night long."

"You think we're dancing? We're just moving around in circles," Buffy said with a smile.

"Isn't it all we ever do?" Spike muttered to himself but Buffy heard him. Her stomach flipped at the implication of his words. She took a step closer to him, moving her arm from his shoulder, around to his back and laid her head on his chest, pulling their arms closer to them. Spike bent his head down, smelling her hair and kissing the top of her head lightly. He closed his eyes and tried to desperately capture this moment in his memory.

----------------------

"She is too stubborn for her own good," Willow said to Oz, nodding her head to the blonde couple. "Look how perfect that is. That right there with the talking and eye gazing. Ooh, hold on!" She let go of Oz and ran back to the table, grabbing Buffy's camera. Trying to be as discreet as possible she went back to where Oz was standing and fiddled with the camera, waiting until it was just the perfect moment. When she saw Buffy lean further into Spike and wrap herself in his embrace and Spike lean down to kiss her head, Willow snapped the picture.

"For prosperity. Who knows when Buffy will break down and admit it? Might help her to..." Willow told Oz when she saw the questioning look on his face.

"Angel's only been gone for a couple of months, Will. Maybe she isn't ready to move on just yet," Oz tried to reason.

"No, I don't believe that. They're crazy for each other. She only needs to give the word. Which we all know she will not do because she's too-"

"Stubborn. Gotcha. Can I dance with my girlfriend again?" Oz asked, smiling.

"I suppose so," Willow teased, instantly turning into his arms.

Xander and Cordelia swayed over to the red-headed couple, smiling. Willow looked at Cordelia and nudged her head in the direction of Buffy and Spike. She couldn't help but smile when she saw the two, who were not a minute before still barely touching, wrapped up in each other.

"Finally," Cordy said to Willow. "I almost feel bad for the guy. He has no idea how Buffy can be when it comes to people."

"He's more than willing to find out, though," Willow said, happily.

The four watched the other couple as the song came to end. They didn't let go of each other immediately and Willow felt her giddiness bubble to the surface. She couldn't help it, really. She was one of those people that felt happier than the people she was happy for. Willow knew Buffy's past, the troubles she had been through, not just with Angel but with her parents and school. Willow only wanted to see her friend get what she deserved. There was no doubt in her mind that Buffy deserved Spike and he deserved her.

"What do you have going on in that brain of yours?" Oz asked, running his finger from her temple to her jaw line.

"Nothing," she replied, shyly.

"Please no schemes to fix them up," Xander pleaded.

"Couldn't cope with your jealousy?" Cordy asked, bitingly.

"Will you stop with that, please? It's just those sorts of things never turn out for the good. If they're supposed to get together, they will. Let it run it's own course."

"You have learned well, Grasshopper," Oz joked.

"Hey, I actually like the guy." The three turned to Xander, shock evident on all their faces. "Damn it, I know! You know that it kills me, right?"

Willow patted his arm in comfort and turned back to look at Buffy and Spike, who were making their way over to them. She tried to hide her smile but it didn't work out so well. Buffy rolled her eyes at seeing Willow's goofy grin and couldn't stop the small smile that drifted to her lips.

"Well, now that they've finally danced, can we go?" Cordy asked, not noticing the flush of embarrassment that spread across Buffy and Spike's faces.

----------------------------

"So for the senior prank-"

"There's a senior prank?" Buffy asked, interrupting Xander.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Have you ever paid attention to anything that happens at school? Remember last year, that kid...I forget his name...hibernated all those wasps and then released them in the school?"

"Oh, yeah! They cancelled school until it was taken care of. See, I remember the not going to school parts," Buffy said, laughing.

"So this year, I don't know...it has to be something good. Maybe put a rat poison box near the jell-o? Or release a huge snake at graduation?"

"Where would you get money for a giant snake?" Oz asked, amused.

"My uncle Rory could probably hook me up. Granted, the animals he gets are dead but maybe he can get me one of the non-dead variety."

"I will kill you if you release a snake at the ceremony, Xander. It's amazing enough I'm actually graduating and my mother is looking forward to it, as well," Buffy warned him.

"Fine...how about garden snakes in the spaghetti? Good times, right?" Everyone groaned in response. "How about-"

"How about you stop?" Willow asked, sweetly but strongly enough that Xander knew she meant business. He nodded. "Thank you. There's a lot of people here, huh?"

"Leave it to Cordy. At least we got here early enough so that we snagged the comfy chairs by the pool," Buffy said. "It's like sitting on a marshmallow."

"I'll give someone twenty dollars to push Harmony in the pool," Xander challenged.

"She'll drown with all that crap she has on her dress," Buffy pointed out.

"And?"

"Oh, I see your point. Spike?"

"Yeah, luv?"

"See that blonde over there with the pink sparkly dress on?" Spike nodded. "Xander will pay you twenty bucks if you push her in the pool."

"Twenty? That's it?"

"It's Harmony," Xander answered.

"What she do?"

"She's a vapid whore who has made my life a living hell for the last twelve years," Willow said, jumping in. Her eyes were narrowed to slits as she remembered the more embarrassing of things that Harmony had done to her over the years.

"Good enough for me," Spike said, getting up from his chair. "Now do I have to shove her or can I have a little more finesse?"

"Do whatever works for you," Xander told him with a smile plastered from ear to ear.

They watched Spike walk over to Harmony and tap her on the shoulder. She turned, smiling instantly and began talking with him. Buffy watched Spike nod at whatever she said, they laughed and Harmony ran her hand down Spike's chest. Buffy immediately felt her face turn hot and pain in her chest. _How dare she touch him! I'll push her in the god damn pool._ Buffy got up from the chair and walked away.

"What's Buffy doing?" Xander asked, loving every minute of it but still waiting for the big pay-off.

"Claiming her territory," Willow said with a smile.

"Girl fight, you think?" Xander asked, panting. "Sweet!"

Buffy walked through the people, getting closer and closer to her intended target. Pure fury ran through her veins. She wasn't just angry that Spike felt the need to flirt with Harmony before he dunked her but she was angry that she was so upset at all. It made her feel like a jealous girlfriend and she was well aware that she wasn't. _Just a jealous friend._ _It's your own fault, Buffy. It's not like he wouldn't be your boyfriend. You're just fighting it. Stop fighting it._ She sighed heavily and shook her head. _Shut up, heart. No one here asked what you thought._

As she walked closer she moved over a bit so she would be close enough to nudge her properly. She could feel her heart begin to race as she saw the back of Spike and Harmony's smiling face. She felt that flash of heat run through her again and she quickly considered the possibility that she may spontaneously combust. Buffy came right up behind Spike and swerved around him. She was about to hip-check Harmony right into the pool when she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her back.

"Huh?" Buffy asked aloud, momentarily dazed.

"Hey, luv. Going somewhere?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, no. Cordy said there were wine coolers in the pool house fridge so I'm seeing if it was true. Give Willow one wine cooler and the funny just keeps on coming."

"Give Willow a Coke and she'd probably give her freak boyfriend a lap dance," Harmony said, laughing.

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked, her voice full of venom.

"After three years, I still have trouble on why you would choose that Willow-freak over the rest of us."

"In case you couldn't tell Harmony, even your leader deserted you in favor of us freaks," Buffy snapped. "Doesn't that tell you everything?"

"Cordy's going through something. Giving to the needy or whatever," Harmony huffed.

"For the last year and a half?" Buffy asked, shocked. "Get a clue, Harmony." She saw something flash out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Spike holding up a quarter. She smiled slyly and took the coin. "Or better yet, buy yourself one...although it will probably take more than a quarter."

"What's going on?" Cordy asked, popping up from behind Spike. "I hear there's some sort of problem..."

"No, problem, Cordy! Just talking," Harmony explained, quickly.

"You're just talking to Buffy?" Cordy asked, eyebrow raised.

"Sure!" Harmony said, nodding her head. "It's the end of school, right? It's not like we'll ever have to see her again-"

"'We'll'? Are you including me in this?"

"Now that high school's over, so is everything that goes with it. The pity parade can come to an end, finally," Harmony told her, still smiling.

Cordy took a step closer to Harmony, her hands on her hips. Harmony backed up to get away from her. She knew all too well what that look meant and she didn't want to be on the receiving end of it.

"Harm, you're right. School is over." Harmony threw Cordy a smile, glad to see she was back on board. "Buffy?"

"Uh, yeah?" Buffy asked, tentatively.

"Go about your business," Cordy said, turning on her heel and heading over to Xander.

Buffy looked at Spike, who was standing there with an amused smirk. "Hey, can you hold these?" Buffy gathered the flowing material of her dress and handed them to him. "In case she goes to grab something..." She turned her attention back to Harmony, a large smile on her face. "Harmony, it's been real." She quickly threw her arms in front of her and hit Harmony square on her shoulders. Harmony began to stumble backwards, desperately grabbing for anything. At the right moment, Buffy lifted her arms to bring them to her mouth to hold her laughter in but Harmony quickly grabbed on.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled and Spike instantly grabbed her around the waist and pulled but was pulling Harmony at the same time. "Aahhh!!!" Buffy yelled as she felt Spike grabbing her one way and Harmony the other.

Suddenly, Willow was there, grabbing at Harmony's hand, prying away Harmony's grip on Buffy's wrist. "This is for all the hair pulling, the gum on my seat, the spitting in my food...All of it!" She finally freed Buffy from Harmony and shoved her back, quickly jumping out the way so Harmony couldn't repeat her previous moves. In she went, screaming bloody murder as she hit the water. There were scattered applause and many gasps but it was mostly all laughter.

"That was so liberating!" Willow screamed as she jumped up and down.

----------------------------

Spike pulled up in front of Buffy's house and put the car in park. He looked over at her and saw that she was once again twisting her hands around each other. Spike couldn't help but smile at her obvious nervousness. _Why so nervous, luv? Afraid I'm going to try to kiss you? Not that I haven't thought about that every minute since I saw you in the library that day but...Christ, man, get a hold of yourself. It's not going to happen._

"So...you want to do something tomorrow?" Spike asked.

"Uh, Mom has to run to L.A. tomorrow. I'm not sure when she'll be back. I have to watch the brat," she said, with an apologetic smile. _Kiss him, you fool! Kiss him!_

"I could come over. Rent some movies...not any classic 70's horror flicks, either."

Buffy laughed. "Sure, that sounds good..."

"I'll walk you to the door," Spike offered.

"No, that's not-"

"Gentleman treatment tonight, remember?" Spike asked with a smirk. He got out of the car and made his way around to her side.

"When aren't you..." she mumbled to herself.

"What's that?"

"Nothing!" They made their way to the front door and she turned to look at him. "Thanks a lot for tonight, Spike. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime...although I don't plan on wearing a tux ever again," he said as he pulled on the now unbuttoned collar. "High collars and bow ties are not my friends."

"Well, you looked great." _Even better with the bowtie undone around your neck, just hanging there, practically begging to be grabbed and pulled towards my lips. _Buffy inwardly groaned. _Shut up!_

"And you...took my breath away, you did," Spike said as he ran a finger down the side of the bodice.

Buffy looked down at his hand as it rested on her waist. She looked back at his face and saw that he was staring right into her eyes. She instantly felt unnerved as she felt his fingers grab onto her waist a little tighter, moving her forward. He opened his mouth a bit and she saw his tongue run along his teeth. _God, there is nothing sexier than that..._

Spike watched her, trying to gage what she was thinking. Her head tipped to the side a bit, her hair falling over her bare shoulder. She absently licked her lips, making them glisten in the light. She looked at him wide-eyed and bit her bottom lip in apprehension. _God, there is nothing sexier than that..._

Before he knew what happened, Buffy's mouth was on his. She stood on her toes just a bit to get better access and she wrapped her arms around his neck, breathing in the scent of him deeply as she gently put pulled his bottom lip into her mouth. She heard him moan and she couldn't help but respond in the same manner. He grabbed her tighter around the waist, pulling her as close as he could get her. He began to run his hands up and down her back, gently massaging as he went, getting his fingers caught up in her long locks.

"Buffy's home!" they heard Dawn yell from inside the house.

Buffy quickly broke her lips apart from his. She looked at him, shock and lust, on her face. "Oh, god..."

"Luv, please-"

"I've ruined everything," she said, tears coming to her eyes. She began shaking her head, saying, "Nothing will ever be the same. From this point on, everything will be built around the fact that we just..."

"Something wrong with that?" Spike asked, trying his hardest not to be hurt or angry.

"Yes! You're my friend. I need you to be my friend."

"Then we're friends. We'll never talk about it again," Spike said, barely getting the words out.

"But it's out there. It's all around us. There's no going back!"

"Why not?"

"Because it was too-" Buffy stopped abruptly and looked at him, mouth agape.

"Too what? Good?" Spike couldn't help it, couldn't stop the smirk. He saw the look on her face and immediately felt guilty. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. We can go back."

"Is there some kind of forgetting spell?" Buffy wondered.

"You want to forget?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"I need to," she answered softly. She grabbed his hand from her waist and gave it a comforting squeeze before dropping it. She turned and went into her house, leaving Spike dazed.

"I won't let you," Spike said to no one but himself.

End Flashback

*******************************


	18. 18

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***********************

Chapter 18  
  
Buffy arrived home to find the apartment empty which didn't make her all that happy. It had been too long of a day with Spike, Willow and her favorite part, dealing with Snyder. Her mother had called to invite her and Spike for dinner but Buffy couldn't get a hold of him. That only annoyed her more, causing her to be quite bitchy the entire evening. Her attitude led to a long discussion with her mother about the events of the last couple of days. It was nice to spend some alone time with her mom, though. Without Dawn around, they could have a conversation without the constant interruptions. But now it was 10:30 and she had no Spike to come home to. She was still angry at him for going to Willow about Warren but she had hoped she could finagle herself a back massage out of the guilt she had planned on laying down.

She hung her coat up and toed her shoes off, flinging them into the corner. She simply didn't care tonight. The thought of walking all the way down the hall to the bedroom to put the shoes in their proper place made her tired. She walked to the fridge, deciding that a long bath and a glass of wine might do the trick. Buffy saw the note taped to the refrigerator door and took a deep breath before tearing it off.

"Had to go to L.A. for Angel. Well isn't that convenient," Buffy muttered. Her eyes kept drifting back to the I love you written at the end of the note. It amazed her still that those three little words whether spoken or written from him sent her into a state of euphoria. After nine years, she still got the tingles in her stomach, still received that light-headed feeling. She didn't understand why she wasn't tired of it. She knew she was the kind of person that grew restless after a while, that although she wanted to be loved just like anyone else, actually having it happen to her filled her with a kind of dread she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She had been scared with Angel. As much as she did love him and knew that he loved her, she was afraid of it. Theirs was not an easy road and it did cause a lot of doubt in herself. She knew that it stemmed from Hank. That fear of being left by any man she let in all started with him. It just worked out that every guy she got involved with had left. Except Spike. He never would leave even when she told him to go. Even after their first kiss and she dodged him for two months, he never left. Buffy could tell everyone in the world that it had annoyed her but the truth was it just solidified everything that she had loved about him. And it petrified her.

It scared her so much that she met Parker. Buffy had been well aware of his motives but she chose to ignore them. Maybe it was a bit of self-punishment for the way she had been treating Spike that summer, maybe it had been one last effort to get Angel fully out of her mind. She still didn't know. She could psychoanalyze herself until the cows came home about her time spent with Parker and why she spent eight months of her life with Riley but it all came down to one thing. Being afraid to be with Spike. That was it. Bottom line. The buck stopped there.

Her friendship with him didn't really get back on track until she started dating Riley in the fall of her freshman year at college. Buffy felt that she could start again with him now that she had Riley. She knew she used Riley as a defense mechanism in that regard but she had cared for him. Spike had always been around, regardless. He had gone to everyone's graduation parties, to the beach with them and whatever else they did over the summer. He had been smart enough to keep his distance from her. They made idle chit-chat but nothing like it had been. No soul-searching talks, no little innuendoes slipped from his mouth and he never dared to touch her. He heard about Parker second-hand from Xander and Oz but he never said a word about it to Buffy. She wasn't aware that he knew until after they had gotten together.

When she had told him that she had a new boyfriend, the look on his face nearly killed her. He hadn't said anything, only nodded his head and turned away from her. The next thing she knew he was with Harmony which sent her into a downward spiral. Whenever the four of them had been in the same room, it was a snarkfest. Spike mercilessly ridiculed Riley every chance he got and Buffy did the same to Harmony. They pretended like it wasn't jealousy that fueled those moments but it didn't fool Riley. He could see it on Buffy's face each time she fought with Spike. There was something there that he would never have from her but he tried his hardest to make her happy. Buffy had tried to reassure him that she did need him, that she wanted him in her life but eventually he just stopped believing her. That part of him that wanted to believe died and he knew he couldn't hold on and he couldn't hold her back. When the opportunity arose for him to go on a mission, he left. Just like Hank. Just like Angel. And Buffy broke down.

The phone rang breaking her harshly from her memories. She groaned and picked up the phone. "Yeah?"

"Bad mood, pet?"

"I'm not talking to you," Buffy told him quickly, but the tone in her voice had a little laughter in it and he didn't take her seriously.

"Why's that?"

"I'm serious, Spike. I'm really mad." This time the laughter was gone.

"At me?"

"Well, duh. Who else?"

"Well, as I don't recall doing anything other than screwing you into your desk, I don't know what you could be..." Spike trailed off as he remembered he had forgotten to tell her about Willow. "So did Willow talk to you, then?"

"Yup."

"Luv, I meant to talk to you this morning about it when I came to your office. If you hadn't looked so good-"

"Save it. You're not getting away with this by giving me some half-assed compliment. Don't try to placate me. You'll only make me angrier," Buffy interrupted. She heard him sigh heavily into the phone. "Okay, I don't want to get into this over the phone. When will you be back?"

"Probably not until after two. Angel stupidly knocks Darla up and suddenly I'm having to go into bars and spy on some chit who's cheating on her husband."

"A cheating case? You guys don't usually do those."

"Talk to the boss. I think the wanker is paying him a lot of money, which in the long run means a big cut for us."

She smiled when he said us. She couldn't help it. "Wake me when you get home."

"Buffy, I don't think you're going to want to-"

"Spike, wake me when you get home," she said slowly, keeping her calm. "It works out for you in the long run. I'll be half asleep. Won't be so mean, right?"

"Good point."

"I only want to say one thing and you can think about it while you're out detecting."

"Go ahead," Spike said, apprehension in his voice.

"You shouldn't have done that." She paused, giving the sentence enough time to process. "I love you. Be careful, okay?"

"Always."

She hung up the phone and walked over to the counter, picking up her wine glass. The phone rang again and she smiled. Picking it up, she said, "Spike, I told you when you get home-"

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, frantically.

"Dawn? Sorry about that. I had been talking to-"

"I don't have time for that. I need you to come pick me up."

"Sure, where are you?"

"Sunnydale Police Station."

"What?" Buffy screamed.

"C'mon, Buffy, I don't have much time. I only get the one call, you know."

-----------------------------

Buffy walked to the front desk at the police station. "Hi, I'm here to pick up my sister. Dawn Summers?"

"Right...Summers..." The officer gave Buffy the once over before turning to a sheet of paper, skimming over it to find Dawn's name. "Here we go. Summers, Dawn. She's a hellion, huh?"

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked bewildered.

"I just mean...never mind. Look, no charges are being filed against her. She was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"So I don't have to pay any bail or anything?"

The officer shook his head. "Not her, no. Her boyfriend on the other hand-"

"Her what?" Buffy asked.

"Connor, uh, Ryan. He and the other man have been formerly charged."

"What other man? I don't have any idea what you're talking about!" Buffy yelled, getting flustered by the entire situation.

"Ma'am, I have to ask you to remain calm."

"Ma'am? Do I look like a ma'am to you?" The officer once again looked her over and Buffy felt her skin crawl. "Look, where is my sister?"

"In the back. She wanted to stay with her...friend."

"Well, can you bring me to her?" Buffy asked the man slowly. He nodded and motioned for her to follow him. They went through a set of double doors and walked to the back to one of the two cells. She glanced over at the other occupied cell and saw a man who looked familiar but she couldn't quite place him. He was holding a cloth to his bleeding lip.

"Summers, your sister is here."

"Buffy! Thank god!" Dawn cried as she came running to the bars. The officer opened the door and let her out. "I need to ask you a huge favor."

"No, Dawnie. He can call Angel."

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask!" Dawn whined.

"I'm sure I do. Barney Phife here tells me Connor is being charged with something." Turning to look at the man in the other cell, Buffy jerked her thumb in his direction and said, "I'm thinking assault and battery..."

"No, Buffy, it wasn't like that." Buffy gave her a disbelieving look. "Why would I lie to you? Where would that get me?"

"It would get your boyfriend out of jail."

"Oh, c'mon! Won't you even listen to what happened?" Dawn pleaded.

Buffy walked over to the cell that Connor was in. "Hey, Connor." He looked up and she saw the nasty black eye that looked like it would only get worse. "Do you want me to call Angel?"

"No!" he answered immediately.

Buffy was taken aback by how nervous he sounded. "He won't get angry. He may be able to work something out-"

"That asshole attacked me! There's nothing to work out because I'm pressing charges," the other man screamed.

Buffy turned to glare at him. "In case you haven't noticed, you're in the slammer, too. It seems you're both being charged but with what, I don't know." Turning back to Connor she said, "Let me call Angel."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Why don't you just take Dawn and get out of here," Connor told her.

"You keep that up and I will," Buffy threatened lightly. "Look, I just want some answers-"

"That dick punched me in the mouth-"

"And I wasn't talking to you!" Buffy yelled at the other man. "So shut up, okay? The two of you better start talking or I'm leaving, taking you straight back to Mom's and telling her what I know."

"You can't tell Mom, Buffy! She'll have a coronary."

"I'm having a coronary! You don't seem too concerned about that," Buffy said, putting her hand over her heart. "Jesus, Dawnie, what the hell were you doing?"

"Nothing, honestly! That guy was all grabby with me and Connor was merely defending me."

"Knight in shining armor," Buffy muttered. "Where were you?"

"The Green Room..."

"Are you kidding me? You got in a bar fight?" Buffy asked, not holding her anger back any longer.

"Well, yes and no. The guy was grabbing me and-"

"You were grabbing my sister?" Buffy asked the other man. He gave her the finger and turned away. "Can't say I blame Connor at this point."

"So you'll help us?" Dawn asked, using her little girl voice in an attempt to make Buffy feel guilty.

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. "How much is the bail?"

--------------------------------------

"I can not believe the utter stupidity that is you right now, Dawn," Buffy said as she drove away from the police station.

"It wasn't Dawn's fault," Connor intervened.

"Never said that it was. I'm well aware that it's yours. You do know that Cordy and Lorne are going to kill you both, right?"

"I'm hoping that I can talk to Cordy-"

"Dawn, you were in a fight at her business. She will not be pleased. And a not pleased Cordy is not good for the two of you."

"Maybe Lorne will-"

"Wishful thinking, Dawnie. Lorne is more like a silent partner because he's a smart guy. Besides, I don't think he's ever stepped foot in the place. He was only helping Cordy out after she wanted to leave L.A. and the agency."

"It's not like we closed the place down, Buffy. She's not going to freak out...that much," Dawn tried to argue.

"You just keep on believing that, hon," Buffy said, smirking. Her cell phone rang and she glanced quickly at the screen to see who it was. "Uh, it's Cordelia."

"Oh, shit," Dawn and Connor mumbled at the same time.

"Hey Cordy," Buffy said when she answered it.

"Is Dawnie with you?" Cordy asked, the concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah, I had to pick her and Connor up...at the police station."

"But they're okay, right?"

"Yes, they're fine. I can't believe how well you're-"

"I'm going to fucking kill them! What were they thinking? I try to run a more upscale place for people to gather and they get into a bar brawl? That's what Willy's is for! This is totally unacceptable-"

Buffy took the phone from her ear and glanced over at Dawn who was beyond pale. Buffy stifled the laughter she could feel burning in her chest. She could still hear Cordelia ranting and she sighed.

"Thanks a lot, Dawn," Buffy said, sarcastically before bringing the phone back to her ear.

"-and I can't believe Dawn would do that to me. After all I've done for her? That little brat. And Connor? I was like a mother to that punk. This is totally-"

"Cordy! Take a breath, hon, you're going to faint." She heard Cordelia take a few deep breaths and let them out. "Was anything ruined?"

"As I wasn't there, I've been told that a chair and one of the overhead lamps. Those lamps cost a lot of money, Buffy. Money doesn't grow on trees...at least not anymore. Everything I have is in that place..."

"They will work to pay off any damages," Buffy told her, looking pointedly over at Dawn who nodded her head quickly. "It's going to be okay. Maybe it will turn out for the best, you know? Attract more people because of all the excitement..."

"Yeah, great. The wrong kind of people. Why didn't they go to the Bronze? Who cares if that place gets ruined?"

"Hey, why didn't you guys go to the Bronze?" Buffy asked the two silent passengers."

"We were trying something different," Dawn answered.

"We were hoping for free drinks," Connor said at the same time.

"Um, they wanted to do something more mature, Cordy."

"Well, that worked out really well," Cordelia said. "Okay, we're not pressing any charges, obviously. Like you said, they can work it off. Now I don't know about this other guy...I mean, I don't know anything, really."

"From what I can pry from them, the guy was hitting on Dawn in a none too pleasant manner and Connor rushed in being all valiant."

"I'll have to get his information from the police. There's no way this guy is going to get away with anything."

"I hear Queen C coming out to play..."

"You better believe it," Cordy agreed, laughing. "I have to go now. I just wanted to make sure they were okay before I rang their necks. I have company..."

"And who, pray tell, is your company?" Buffy asked, giggling. Cordelia didn't answer her, only laughed in response and hung up.

"So, is she really mad?" Dawn asked, tears in her eyes.

"Not really. Just annoyed, I think. That place was a huge step for her and I wouldn't be surprised if she felt you two disrespected her by your actions tonight."

"It wasn't us!" Connor yelled.

Buffy pulled the truck over and put it in park. Taking off her seat belt, she turned in her seat so she could see both Dawn and Connor, who sat in the back.

"First of all, I just bailed you out of jail and you will not speak to me like that. Secondly, I don't care whose fault it was at this point. My sister was in jail, Connor. This might be nothing new to you, but it is to her and that alone is unacceptable to me. Thirdly, you two will do whatever Cordy wants you to do. If you have to clean toilets, you do it. If you have wait tables or wash dishes, you do it. Understood?" She looked back and forth between the two who nodded their heads, both shocked by Buffy's change in demeanor. "I'm not telling Mom, Dawnie. I don't want her to get all worked up over something that happened once. And it will be only once, right?"

"Yes! It never should have happened in the first place. It was a big mistake," Dawn said quickly.

"Now, if you two are going to continue to see each other, I think the laying down of some ground rules are in order. Obviously."

"You're not the boss of me or Dawn for that matter," Connor told her.

"Wow, you truly are a dumbass, aren't you?" Dawn said, shaking her head.

"What?" Connor asked, confused.

"Buffy just bailed you out, Connor! Would it kill you to not act like you are a five year old?"

"The two of you shut up! I'm not done. I rarely get to lecture people so this is kind of fun for me," Buffy said, smiling a little in an effort to reassure them both. "Connor, my sister means the world to me. I want her to be happy. If being with you is what does it, well, I'm not going to stop her. I can't stop her. She's an adult...for the most part. Now this is important. Are you listening?" Connor nodded. "If you ever put my sister in the position she found herself in tonight, I will personally break every important bone in your body. And then I'll let Spike have at you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," Connor said, shakily. Buffy wasn't sure if it was her or the prospect of Spike that scared him more.

"Dawn's a beautiful girl. She's going to be approached by men. Get. Over. It."

"Aw, thanks, Buff," Dawn said with a smile.

"And you, missy, are not off the hook. If you ever do find yourself in jail, think long and hard before you give me a call. Next time, I'll send Spike. He's a whole lot worse than Mom or I would be."

"Are you going to tell him?" Dawn asked, her eyes wide in fright.

"If I do, your friend here will have another black eye...or worse. I don't know what to do. Cordy's involved and she can never keep her mouth shut. It's not in her nature."

Everyone sat and thought, not saying anything for a couple of minutes. Each one of them kept waiting for the other to break the silence that was slowly becoming deafening. They all shifted in their seats, sighed, cleared their throats, hoping that someone would take the hint and say something.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I'll pay you back as soon as I can," Connor finally said.

"Sure, Connor, whenever you can," Buffy said with a smile, turning back in her seat and driving off.

---------------------------

Spike was bored out of his mind. He spun the glass of whiskey that was in front of him while poking at the ice with stirrer. The endless singing wasn't helping the headache he had, either. He turned to look at the stage, instantly wishing he hadn't. Singing "War" was bad enough, but pair that with a man whose pants were practically around his upper torso and high-waters to boot, Spike couldn't help but groan. He felt a hand slap him on the back and he turned back around to see Lorne.

"Well, aren't we looking like a lost little puppy tonight," Lorne commented.

Spike held up his drink. "Cheers, mate."

"What brings a handsome devil like you up to L.A. without that beauty of yours?"

"Assignment for Angel. Your average spy on the cheating spouse deal," Spike said, sighing as he looked around, not seeing the woman anywhere. "She supposedly comes in here. Then again, she also has been seen around ten different bars...I'm starting to feel annoyed."

"Can't say that I blame you, muffin. Feel like singing out your sorrows?"

"No."

"Aw, c'mon, Spike," Lorne pleaded. "I can't take anymore of these people. I need someone who can actually sing up there. Just one."

"No. Get the hell away from me," Spike said with a smile. "And don't call me muffin. Ever again."

"How is the wedding coming along? I will be singing," Lorne told him.

"Fine and no, you won't."

"Jesus, are we in a bad mood or what! I hope the two love kittens aren't fighting..." Lorne said, fishing for details.

"Quit your snooping. We had a bit of a misunderstanding which I will rectify as soon as I can get the hell out of here..."

"Cupcake, I know you see Dawn as a little sister, but she'll be fine. Knowing you, you did your best Jack Nicholson in The Shining when Buffy told you."

"Add cupcake to the list of things never to call me again. And what in the hell are you talking about?" Spike asked, worry lines popping up on his brow.

"The fight at The Green Room. That Cordy sure can lay it down when you mess with what's hers, huh? I miss that girl. She was always such a kick to have around here-"

"What bloody fight?" Spike asked, now growing angry.

"You don't know?" Lorne saw Spike slowly shake his head. "Uh, no fight! Everything's great. How about a little "Teenage Wasteland" while you wait for that spouse? I'll go get that queued up for you..." Lorne started to walk away and Spike grabbed his arm.

"You tell me right now or you'll be having a fight in this bar."

"Caritas is a happy establishment. We frown on the usage of excessive-Ow! Loosen the grip, tiger." Spike let go of his arm and motioned for Lorne to sit at the stool next to him. "Louis, a Sea Breeze, please."

"Lorne..." Spike warned.

"I need a drink. Now don't kill the messenger because I figured Buffy would have called by now...I don't know all the details. Cordy phoned me about an hour ago and said that there had been an altercation involving Dawn and Connor."

"What kind of altercation?" Spike asked slowly, trying desperately to reign in his temper.

Lorne wiggled his index finger at Spike. "You have those veins in your jaw flipping about. That's never a good sign." He saw the look in Spike's eyes and felt his stomach grow tight in nervousness. "As far as I know, no one was hurt or anything. Everyone's fine and probably at home sleeping right now."

Spike threw a ten on the counter and Lorne pushed it back to him. "On the house. Least I could do, right?"

"Actually, yeah," Spike said, smirking and quickly walked up the stairs and to his car.

---------------------------

Spike walked into the bedroom and saw Buffy's sleeping form in the bed. He had checked the spare room on his way down the hall and saw Dawn had stayed over. He took off his clothes and slid into bed, wrapping his arm around Buffy's waist and pulled her closer. She made a sleepy moaning noise that Spike loved to hear and he smiled.

"Buffy? Buffy, wake up," he whispered, trailing light kisses down her neck as he spoke. He moved his hand down to her stomach and began to rub it in a circular motion, causing her to make more noise.

Buffy slowly began to come to her senses as she felt the kisses and the rubbing. She smiled softly and sighed. She stretched her body out a bit so she fit better against him. He moaned quietly and nipped at her neck. "What time is it?"

"A little after 1:30," he murmured into her neck. He decided the best course of action was to feign ignorance about The Green Room incident. He was practically holding his breath, hoping that she would talk to him about at least this. "I see the Bit's here...anything wrong? Or just a sister's night in?"

She turned slightly so she could see his face. She gave him a small smile and said, "Now don't go crazy-"

"You know when people say that to other people, it automatically makes that person want to go crazy."

She laughed and continued, "Dawn and Connor went out tonight. Apparently there was a scuffle. No one was hurt...well, Connor has a nice shiner but Dawn's fine, which is what is the most important thing, right?"

"Absolutely."

"So you're not going to lecture her or slap Connor silly?"

"Can't even give the idiot a verbal slapping?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

"Well, I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself but I'm not going to object to you really getting the point across." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "So how'd it go tonight?"

"She was nowhere to be found. I'm starting to think the husband is imagining it."

"Well, men can get like that," Buffy joked.

"Right and you women are so secure about your relationships."

"Hey, I'm secure." Buffy turned her body all the way around so she was facing him. She lifted her leg and laid it on his. "You're naked."

"Indeed, I am."

"You're evil."

"Indeed, I am."

"So should we ruin the nice moment and talk about what happened today or should we be as quiet as possible and have ourselves some lovin'."

"I know I'm supposed to go with the first thing but I'm leaning more towards the second. Much nicer option in my opinion."

"How's this?" Buffy began, moving her body closer to his.

"Very good," he moaned.

"I'm not finished," she said, laughing. "We talk a little and then do something about all this unresolved sexual tension."

"Doesn't everything we do lead to unresolved sexual tension?" Spike asked.

"That's what makes it so good, right?" Spike nodded in agreement and Buffy removed her leg from his body and began to move away. He quickly grabbed her waist, trying to keep her with him. "Uh-uh, we're talking first. And in order to do that properly, we can't be doing this touching thing...because you're evil."

Spike sighed and rolled his eyes in a mocking gesture. "Fine, talk away."

"I think the most obvious question is why did you do that after you told me you would give me the time I needed?"

"And I meant it. I was only seeing if Red had any insight is all. It wasn't meant to be a big conspiracy. I had meant to tell you, I even promised Willow that I would," Spike explained.

"So you were trying to find out if I had talked to Will about it or why I haven't talked to you about it?"

"Buffy, it was an impulse thing. I don't know exactly what kind of answers I was looking for...or if I was looking for any. Maybe I had some things that I needed to get out. Didn't Willow tell you what happened?"

"No, just that you talked. Why? What happened?" Buffy asked, timidly.

"I bit into her a little for Sean-"

"Spike..."

"Look, I've been worried, okay? I mean...well, yeah, I mean just that. I've been worried. I know it's been a long time and if you're fine with it, I should be, too. But I wasn't there that day. I don't know what happened besides just the basics of what people told me. Willow reminded me that you weren't the only one hurt and it hit me. The reality of that statement. Maybe that's why I came into your office for a quick shag. Just to make sure-"

"Spike, listen to me," Buffy interrupted. "I can't tell you everything, not right now. But I can say that I've never been so afraid in my life. And not just for me or everyone else that was there. That, of course, went through my mind. I could hear Willow screaming for Tara, I could hear my mom yelling for Dawn to get down, I could feel Xander next to me, putting pressure on my shoulder. But it was all outside of me. All I could think of was you. Of leaving you, leaving everything and that thought of loss stays with me. The idea of you without me and vice versa, it scares the hell out me. All I wanted was for you to be there but at the same time, I remember thinking how grateful I was that you weren't."

"Why's that?" Spike whispered.

"Because you would have done something stupid." They both laughed despite the gravity of the topic. "You wouldn't have stayed with me, you would have run after him. I know you would have so don't start with the protesting noises because you know it, too. After the ambulances came, I don't remember much. I actually don't remember much from before the shots were fired. It all happened so fast...and it hurts to try and remember. Do you get that? It's like I feel that pain all over again. And it's too much for me to deal with. That's why I don't want to talk about it. Even telling you that, I feel like I'm about to panic. My heart is beating a mile a minute-"

"Your breathing is not normal-"

"And I'm feeling kind of dizzy. My mom says they could be panic attacks or something. Sounds good to me. It certainly would describe the feeling of that day...it's like reliving it each time I even think about it. So I try my best to block it out. It was nothing personal against you, honey. If there is one person I feel I can tell anything to, it's you. You know that right?"

"Yes," Spike breathed out.

"I didn't realize how much it bothered you. You could have said something other than talk to me, tell me what happened. You could have said that you needed to know, that it was eating you up."

"I didn't want to push."

"And yet...here we are. If you had told me how badly it hurt you that I didn't tell you about it, I would have. If I was even the tiniest bit aware of that, I would have told you. I just thought...I thought that you were being nosey."

"Yeah, I was," Spike agreed sheepishly. "But I was worried as hell. I only wanted to understand why you didn't talk about it...then to find out Willow and Tara do...I felt like there was something wrong there. That you should be talking about it by now."

"I've often thought the same thing. But there's lots of stuff I don't like to talk about. Like Hank or Angel, Mom being sick-"

"But you do talk about them. Every once in a while you get in this state where you do talk about those things. That never happened with Warren."

"I'm sorry, Spike." He looked at her in surprise. "I should have talked to you. I actually feel better that I have. Yet another point for my theory that Tara knows everything." He smiled and she returned it. "Let's never do this again, okay?"

"Sounds good to me, pet."

"Look at the time. I'm going to be a walking zombie tomorrow," Buffy groaned in dismay. "Snyder will have my ass."

"I have your ass," he said, grabbing her and bringing her over to him.

"That you do, both figuratively and literally."

"Call in sick tomorrow," Spike told her, a little bit of pleading slipping into his voice.

"And what will happen if I do?" Buffy asked, a twinkle in her.

"Anything you want, luv."

"Anything?"

Spike rolled his eyes upwards and sighed. "Yes, I'll make you sodding breakfast in bed, complete with omelet and juice."

"How about some French toast?"

"Bleeding hell, woman. Anything else?"

"You. Naked. Bed. All day long," she said as she leaned in kissing his neck at each word.

"The things I do for you..."

*********************

to be continued


	19. 19

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***********************

Chapter 19

"Hello?" Buffy said, answering the phone with a giggle. Putting her hand over the receiver, she turned to Spike and whispered, "Stop that!"

"Why aren't you at work?" she heard her mother ask. Buffy's smile dropped instantly and she flinched at her mother's tone. "Buffy?"

"Uh, yeah, Mom," she said, emphasizing the mom part which Spike instantly picked up on. She coughed a bit, lowering her voice an octave lower and said, "I'm sick."

"Right...sick. So Spike caught this sickness, too?" Joyce asked, making it clear that she didn't believe her daughter at all.

"Yup, it was the darndest thing."

"Buffy, you're twenty-eight years old. If you want to play hooky from school and spend the day laying around with your fiancé, I'm not going to object." Buffy felt her face flame red at embarrassment. "It's not like I've never done it."

"Oh god, Mom..." Buffy groaned. "So did not need that information."

"Lighten up, Buffy. Just because I'm your mother doesn't mean that I don't partake in-"

"Stop! I beg of you to please stop. If you love me, you will change the subject and never, ever talk of that ever again," Buffy pleaded.

"Okay, how's this? When exactly did you plan on telling me that Dawn was involved in a fight?" Joyce asked.

"Uh...so back to the sex-"

"Buffy, how could you not have told me about this?"

"I didn't want to worry you. Everything was fine...for the most part. Eventually, everything was fine," Buffy said, stammering over her words. She felt Spike put his hand on the small of her back, rubbing it gently, instantly relaxing her. "How did you even find out? Did Dawn actually tell you? Because that's exactly what I told her to do. I said, 'Dawn, you're twenty-one now and it is your responsibility to tell Mom about your total lack of judgment'. I was being all big sisterly, not letting her get away with anything. Go me, right?"

"If you think I believe that, maybe you should tell me again how sick you are," Joyce said, sarcastically. "Cordelia came in and told me that I needn't worry about the damages as Dawn was there bright and early, ready to help with whatever Cordelia needed her to do. So imagine my surprise..."

"Ah, Cordy came in. Of course. I should have gone with that," Buffy commented, almost to herself. "Mom, if it was a huge deal, I would have told you. It was a mistake. These things happen, right?"

"It's Connor, isn't it? He's ruining her."

"Mom, Connor is not ruining Dawn. There's no need to be so over dramatic-"

"I want to talk to Spike," Joyce interrupted her.

"What? Why?" Buffy asked, confused.

"I want to talk to him, Buffy. Put him on the phone now."

She turned over to face him, shrugged her shoulders and handed him the phone. Spike looked at her wide-eyed, clearly as surprised as she was.

"Hi, Joyce," Spike said, tentatively.

Joyce wasted no time and said, "Keep an eye on Connor."

"I don't think Dawn would like that too much." Buffy nudged his shoulder and mouthed "Wouldn't like what?". Spike shook his head and she sighed heavily at being left out of the loop.

"I'm not particularly worried about what Dawn would like. One bar fight here, a night in jail there...I don't want to know what happens after that. She's my baby, Spike. Promise me that you'll watch out for her."

"Of course, Joyce."

"Thank you. It's about time one of the Summers's women found a decent man," Joyce sighed. "I'll talk to her again now."

"Okay..." Spike handed the phone back to Buffy and mimicked the shrug she had given him.

"Mom, what's going on?" Buffy immediately asked.

"Nothing, Buffy."

"You're obviously lying."

"I'm sure Spike will tell you. Speaking of, did you talk to him last night about Warren?"

"Look at segue way Mom. Nice job. I did, in fact," Buffy told her, a smile creeping onto her face.

"So I should assume that everything went well..."

"Extremely well."

"Thus the staying at home."

"Mom, get your mind out of the thus!"

"I just like to get you all riled up. It's so easy," Joyce teased.

"You make it sound like I'm a prude. I'm not a prude!"

"Certainly not that," Spike mumbled.

"I never said anything like that. You just need to realize that in order to have you and your sister, I had to have had sex-"

"And it only happened those two times. Don't shatter the illusion, Mom," Buffy quickly interrupted. Joyce couldn't help but laugh at her daughter. "Hey, is Tara around? We were supposed to look at the invite tonight."

"She's in the back restoring a piece that got a bit scuffed on it's way here."

"Could you be the best mom in the world and let her leave earlier than eight so she and Will can come over for dinner and we can go over everything?"

Joyce sighed dramatically, milking it for what it was worth. "I suppose. Although I did have big plans to go out and have sex with strangers tonight. Possibly on the hood of a car or maybe-"

Buffy's squeal of disgust and the phone going dead in Joyce's ear stopped her from continuing on. She put the phone back on it's cradle and went into the backroom.

"My daughter just hung up on me," Joyce announced as she went over to inspect Tara's work. "Very nice job. What are you using for that?"

Tara held up her pinky finger and smiled. "Works like a charm for the smudging. Why did Buffy hang up on you?"

"How did you know it was Buffy?"

"Dawn would be too scared to do that," Tara said, laughing softly.

"Very true. Apparently Buffy doesn't like sentences that have sex and me in them."

"Buffy has told me that denial has a very pretty view," Tara joked. "Did she mention coming by tonight for the invite?"

"Actually, you're leaving early and going over there for dinner."

"Oh, no, Joyce. You asked me to work until closing because you have plans. I'll call her back and tell her I can't make it."

"No, you won't. It was only dinner with a friend. I can easily reschedule," Joyce explained, her tone making it clear to Tara not to put up an argument.

"Okay, but I'll be sure to say lots of sentences that involve you and sex as a trade off."

"I knew there was a reason why I liked you," Joyce said, smiling.

----------------------------

"Hey, Will," Buffy said as Willow answered her cell phone. "What are you doing?"

"Grading papers, eating lunch...alone, I might add. I knew you weren't sick! You big faker."

"Me? Never!" Buffy gasped in mock horror. "Mom's letting Tara out of work early tonight so you guys can come over for dinner. Sound good?"

"Are you cooking?" Willow asked, hesitantly.

"If I say yes, you won't come?"

"Of course we'll come...we just won't eat."

Buffy laughed and said, "No, Spike plans on cooking but I will be helping. You know, I'll make a salad or something. I can cook, you know."

"Ha!" Willow exclaimed. "Oh, I mean, yeah, of course, you can."

"How can everyone forget that Thanksgiving feast I cooked our freshman year or the times I brought lunch when I was suspended? You all had no problem eating that up."

"We were really, really hungry," Willow teased.

"You know what, I am cooking tonight! The rest of you be damned."

"What time should we be there for the damning?"

"Whenever...we'll be here all day so whatever works for you two," Buffy answered.

"Around six-ish, Iron Chef Summers?"

Buffy agreed and they said their goodbyes. She picked up the tray that had only remnants of her breakfast on it and brought into the kitchen. She saw Spike making them a sandwich and she smiled, placing the tray on the counter.

"I'm cooking tonight." Spike stopped spreading mayonnaise on the bread and looked at her, mouth open, but no words coming out. "Jesus, what is it with you people? I can cook!"

"Lamb, I never said you couldn't. You just never do."

"I did for Thanksgiving," Buffy argued.

"That was nine years ago..." Buffy huffed in response, crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "You know what that pouting does to me..." He leaned down and ran his tongue over her bottom lip.

She sighed and muttered, "Sort of the point."

Spike pulled away and continued to make lunch. "I'm having no problems with you cooking tonight. What are you going to make?"

"Whatever you were going to make...only ten times better."

"Well, with the free spirit's lack of eating meat, I was going with the garlic and lemon spaghetti."

"Ooh, I can do that! That's really easy...right?"

"Sure, pet, I can help out, too."

"No, no helping. I'm proving once and for all that I can cook and not just some appetizers or an entire Thanksgiving meal. So there!"

--------------------------

"Come on in!" Buffy called to the knocking on the apartment door. She turned and smiled as Tara and Willow made their way into the apartment.

"It's pouring out!" Willow exclaimed, shaking off her jacket in the hallway. "Something actually smells really good."

"I'm sure Buffy did a fantastic job," Tara said as she put her arm around Buffy's shoulder, giving her an encouraging hug.

"This is why we all like Tara. She's not as mean and snarky as the rest of us," Buffy said, laughing. "You want something to drink?"

"Coke," both girls answered simultaneously. Buffy handed them each a can of soda and turned back to the stove to stir the food.

"We're having ziti instead of spaghetti because someone forgot to go to the store," Buffy told them, apologetically.

"If it's pasta, it's for me," Tara said, brightly.

"I was detained," Spike said, as he walked into the kitchen.

"I bet," Willow said under her breath. Spike heard her and shot her a smirk.

"Why don't you guys go cop a squat in the den? There's a few more minutes left..." Buffy suggested. The couple left and Buffy turned to look at Spike, panic in her eyes. "This looks nothing like yours!"

Spike walked over to her and looked at the pan, brow furrowed. "What did you do?"

"I...don't know. It's not all oily like yours. Mine has this like sauce stuff. That wasn't supposed to happen, right?"

"The sauce will be good for the ziti," Spike told her, dipping his finger in the pan and tasting it. "Wow."

"Wow...what?"

"Good. Really good, actually," Spike said with a smile.

"No way! Better than yours?" Buffy asked.

"I wouldn't go that far..." She playfully swatted him on the arm. "What exactly did you do?"

"I put the butter in, then the chopped up garlic, let it cook for a bit, then I added the lemons and oh! I put some bread crumbs in."

"Bread crumbs?"

"Yeah, when you make it with chicken, you always put bread crumbs on the chicken so I thought I'd just put some in the pan."

"There's how you got the sauce. It's perfect, pet."

"Yay me!" Buffy exclaimed, doing a little dance. The timer for the ziti went off and she went about the task of getting the rest of the dinner ready. "Set the table, hon?"

"Man-slave is what I am," Spike mumbled.

"Ooh, whips and chains involved in that?"

"Watch it, missy," Spike warned, slapping her lightly on her rear. She giggled and poured the garlic-lemon sauce over the zitti. She brought it over to the table, where Spike was still placing the silverware around the plates.

"Hey, you know what?" Buffy whispered into his ear. Spike turned to look at her, eyebrow raised. "I love you." Not waiting for a response, she went back to the kitchen and retrieved the salad and dressings. After placing them on the table, she went to the den to get Willow and Tara.

"Come and get it," Buffy said with a smile. "And keep an open mind, okay? It's a little different than Spike makes it."

Everyone sat at the table, putting the food on their plates and salad in their bowls. At first, no one ate anything. Buffy was waiting for someone to eat first, Spike was too busy wondering why Buffy wasn't eating, Tara was letting it cool and Willow kept moving it around on her plate.

"Bloody hell, Red, eat it."

"I...I am, see?" Willow put a ziti in her mouth and began to chew, a slight look of unease on her face that quickly turned to a smile as she put a more food in her mouth. "So Spike made this and Buffy stood by the stove pretending that she made it?"

"I am offended!" Buffy yelled, jokingly.

"It's just really good, Buff," Willow tried to explain.

"I told you I can cook. No one ever believes me."

"Yeah, but prosciutto and a turkey isn't that difficult. Not that lemon-y, garlic-y ziti goodness is hard...it's just better than I expected. Sorry."

"You can make it up to me by telling everyone how amazing I am in the kitchen. It is my mission to squash that untrue rumor," Buffy told them adamantly.

"It's delicious," Tara concurred. "I like it better than Spike's."

"Hey, now!" Spike objected. Tara only flashed him a sweet smile.

"Oh, Buffy, your mother wanted me to give you a message," Tara began. "Since she let me out early, she had to stay at work and cancel her date-"

"She had a date?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Yes, but she was happy about it as he was going to come to the gallery instead. Apparently, she's always wanted to christen her place of business."

Buffy stopped chewing her food, mouth agape, and blushing profusely. "What...how...are...no. No, no, no."

"She was thinking of starting in her office. The desk as a matter of fact and she wanted to know if you had any pointers for her," Tara added, trying to hide the wicked smile that wanted desperately to form on her lips.

"Willow!" Buffy screamed in embarrassment.

"Oops..." Willow said quietly and bowed her head, putting more food in her mouth.

------------------------------

"Luv, it was joke," Spike said, trying to calm Buffy down. "Tara?"

"I'm sorry. Bad joke but I promised her I would do it."

"See? All better," Willow put in.

"Tara, you're the non-evil one amongst us. You're not supposed to do that to me!" Buffy cried. She buried her face in the cushion of the sofa and Spike rubbed his palm between her shoulders blades, laughing. "I an eel oo affing."

"What was that?" Spike asked, leaning over her to get closer to her mouth.

She sat upright and repeated, "I can feel you laughing. It's not funny."

"It's a little funny..." Spike commented.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him and made a small growling noise before throwing her head back onto the cushion. "I ish dis ay nebah apphend."

"Buffy, don't talk into the cushion," Willow chided. "Not unless you're carrying on the conversation with yourself."

Buffy sighed audibly and removed her head from the cushion. She leaned against Spike's chest and brought his arm down to lay it across her chest and held his hand. "I said, I wish this day never happened."

"All of it?" Spike whispered in her ear and Buffy blushed.

"C'mon, you've had all day with the snuggly-wugglies. We're here for wedding purposes!" Willow said, getting their attention. "Tara?"

Feeling the three sets of eyes on her, Tara suddenly got a case of her old overwhelming shyness. She reached into her bag and pulled out a card wrapped in plastic. "Okay, this is just a rough draft. If you don't like it, please tell me. We'll work on it..."

"I have all the confidence in the world, Tara," Buffy said, taking the card from her.

"Yeah, well..." Tara muttered. She felt Willow's hand on her thigh and smiled, thankful for the comforting gesture.

"I feel like a kid in a candy store," Buffy said, happily as she undid the tap from the plastic. Spike was starting to feel antsy as Buffy took forever to take the invitation out.

"Do you want me to do that?" he asked, impatiently.

"Well, look who suddenly is taking an interest in this," Buffy joked. She finally pried the tape away, pulled out the invite and turned to Spike, smiling. "Success!"

"Buffy..." Spike breathed in when he looked at the invite. He nodded his head in the direction of the invite and she looked down, immediately gasping. He looked back at Tara and shook his head in awe. "This is your rough draft?"

"Tara, this is perfect. I mean, this is just what I..." Buffy trailed off, her eyes misting over. "I'm such a baby right now."

"Didn't she do an amazing job?" Willow asked, excitedly. "When she showed me, I was stunned. She got everything right. The slashes of burgundy in your dress, the corsage, Spike's hair, even the dance floor and balloons."

"Amazing is an understatement," Buffy whispered.

"Yup, that's my girl," Willow said, beaming. Tara smiled shyly, looking down to hide her embarrassment. "Spike? Are you okay?"

Spike looked away from the invitation, quickly nodded and got up from the couch. He walked into the bedroom, leaving the three women to look at each other in confusion.

"Is that bad?" Tara asked meekly.

"I'll, uh, be right back," Buffy said, getting up from the couch. She paused in front of the loveseat that Tara and Willow were sitting on and leaned down, embracing Tara. "Thank you. It's wonderful." She let go of Tara and walked to the bedroom, quietly knocking on the partially closed door.

"Yeah," Spike answered gruffly.

Buffy pushed the door open slowly and found Spike sitting on the reading chair in the corner of the room. "Baby, you okay?"

"Fine. I'm fine," he said too quickly. He looked up as she approached him, giving her a half-smile. She wiggled herself between his legs and sat on his lap, softly stroking his hair. "I'm such a jerk."

"What? Why?"

"This is really happening, isn't it?" Spike asked, quietly.

"It's good to know you're catching on," Buffy tried to joke but when she saw no reaction from Spike, she switched gears. "Spike, what's going on in there?" She lightly patted his head.

"Suits, dresses...the whole bleeding shebang...but none of it seemed like it was really happening until right now. Seeing that," he gestured to the invitation still in Buffy's hand, "made something click."

"Uh...what are you saying?" Buffy asked, feeling a tightness begin to build in her chest.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this?"

Buffy stopped playing with his hair, her confusion growing. "Spike, we've only been engaged for like six months."

"No...this, us, marriage, all of it. The whole kitten-caboodle, kitten," he said, a smile playing on his lips.

"Phew, I thought you were backing out," Buffy sighed in relief.

"Backing out? I wouldn't have stayed with you all this time, asked you to marry me five times, only to back out when it got down to the wire."

"It was not five times," Buffy argued. "It was...four." Her face flushed and she giggled.

"Fourth time's a charm, apparently."

She leaned over, giving him a kiss on his cheek. "Did I ever tell you how glad I am that you kept asking?"

"Figured I'd ware you down eventually," he said, smirking.

"So you just sort of freaked out..."

"Yeah, guess I did. The birds upset?"

"I don't think so...just confused like me. Are you okay?" Buffy asked, her voice deep in concern.

"Fine, truly. Maybe we should go back out..."

"I think maybe you're right," Buffy sighed, getting off his lap, grabbing his hands and helping him out of the chair. She turned and began to walk away when she felt Spike tug on her hand, spinning her around to face him. He quickly swooped down, placing his lips on hers and she moaned in both surprise and happiness.

He broke from her lips, resting his forehead against hers and asked, "Do you remember what I said when I asked you to marry me?"

"Which time?" she teased. Spike smiled and she said, "Yes, of course, I remember."

"It will always be true, Buffy. My moment was not about you or the wedding or any of the hoopla that goes along with it." He cupped his hand against the side of her face, pulling back to look at her. "I wouldn't change anything." He released his hold on her and began to walk out of the room. "You coming?"

"Give me a minute," Buffy said, quietly. Spike nodded and headed out. She heard him apologize to Willow and Tara for turning into a "chit" and laughed softly to herself.

She looked at the invitation and sighed happily. There was not one thing wrong with it. It seemed to encompass everything that was her and Spike on a tiny card. The card itself was a pearl gray color, the print was the burgundy that were the colors of the bridesmaids dresses, as well as the strips in Buffy's prom dress. She marveled at the recreation of the photo and couldn't help but think that Tara was the only person who could have done this right. She seemed to be able to capture them perfectly. She was even able to paint the love that was there but not yet spoken between the dancing couple. It was simple and in it's simplicity lied an elegance that made Buffy smile. Buffy was happy with everything, even the words Tara chose to put on the invitation. Above the drawing, it said, "Join Us" and below it continued "as a Moment in Time", Buffy opened the invitation and continued to read, "Becomes a Lifetime of Forever". She smiled when she saw what Tara had put for their names and walked back into the living room.

"Here," she handed Spike the invitation as she sat. "Check out the invitation part of the...er, invitation."

Spike read the front, opened it and read the inside, a smile forming on his face. He looked at Tara, who couldn't help but smile in return. "Buffy Anne Summers and William "Spike" Young in wholly matrimony...Love it, pet."

"Well, I couldn't help myself," Tara laughed. "It's okay?"

"I think it's great. Buffy?"

Buffy looked at Spike, eyes wide with emotion. "I think it's perfect."

***************************


	20. 20

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

***********************

Chapter 20

Flashback

"Buffy, you need to get out," Willow declared.

"I don't want to."

"I don't care what you want. Remember how you made me go to that party after Oz left? It's been three weeks, Buffy. We need to get you out of this room and most importantly, into a shower."

"I don't smell...that bad," Buffy mumbled. "I should never have forced you to go to Lowell House that night. If I hadn't, Riley and I wouldn't have that discussion about cheese and homework, things wouldn't have progressed and I wouldn't now be sitting here like this."

"So blame me, then. As your best friend, I will gladly take the blame," Willow said, trying to cheer her up. She sighed and sat on the edge of Buffy's bed. "I know this is hard. I've been right where you are and do you remember what you said to me?"

"No," Buffy lied.

"You said that it would get easier and it does. Eventually, that pain just goes, gets compartmentalized into that section where bad relationships go and then you'll meet someone new someday."

"No, never again," Buffy said, shaking her head harshly. She could feel the tears come to her eyes and she tried to remain calm, which only made the feeling worse. "They all leave, Will. I truly believe that men don't leave all women, they leave me."

"Okay, first, you really need to stop watching _Someone Like You_ over and over. It's driving you batty. Soon you'll be talking about old and new cows when all you should be talking about in regards to that movie is Hugh Jackman in those shorts." Buffy looked at Willow, a small smile forming on her face. Willow smiled back, thankful that she got something other than tears. "Besides, Oz left me, right? So you're not alone."

"Maybe I'll just switch hitters," Buffy said, thinking this new plan out. Willow started coughing, gasping for breath. "Will? You okay? Want some water?"

"No, fine. It's nothing, really," Willow gasped out, feeling her face grow hot.

"One guy left you, Will. One guy that still loved you, and will probably come back after he works out his shit, left you. I'm talking three guys here...or three and a half if you want to count Parker-"

"Which we don't because he's a poophead."

"Right. So three. There's something seriously wrong with that, don't you think? There's definitely a pattern here."

"Buffy, Angel never stopped loving you when he left. You know that and-"

"Great, so my father, Angel and Riley all loved me when they left me," Buffy interrupted. "Isn't that even worse, Will?" She began to cry again, feeling angry at herself. "I mean, what does that say about me? They can love me just fine but they can't stand to be around me? Or I'm just so horrid, they can't stay-"

"No, stop. I don't want to hear anymore of this nonsense-"

"It's not-"

"Shush! I'm talking here. Let me tell you something about Buffy Summers," Willow started and Buffy rolled her eyes. "She is the most amazing woman I have ever known. It's not that these men have suddenly realized that she is not good enough for them but just the opposite. They probably knew the whole time that they weren't good enough to be with her."

"Will..."

"And, Buff, you can not blame yourself over them. You can't say it's your fault that your dad left, or Angel or Riley. They left on their own. It had nothing to do with you. They weren't strong enough to stay around and try and work it out."

"But my mom and dad...all that trouble I was getting in-"

"Which was your classic 'cry for attention while my parents fight non-stop' shenanigans," Willow told her.

"How do you explain away Angel?"

"First love, went bad, got good again...but there was always that badness memory, you know? If you think all of us weren't on pins and needles waiting to see where it was going...Angel left in order to give you things he felt he never could. They were his own hang-ups, Buffy. They had nothing to do with you."

"Okay...and Riley?" Buffy asked, wiping the wet streaks from her face.

"Riley...well, the way I see it? He needed you, loved you and you just liked him. It happens. People all over the world are experiencing unrequited love right as we speak."

"So why couldn't I love him?"

"I'd answer that, but I don't want to be punched in the face," Willow joked.

"Come on, Willow. I'm asking. No punchy, I promise."

"Spike."

"You're insane!" Buffy yelled, jumping out of her bed.

"Oh, goody! You're up!" Willow exclaimed.

----------------------------

"So...you heard, right?"

"What are you talking about, Harris?"

"Buffy and Riley go boom," Xander answered as he hit the cue ball and watched it go into the corner pocket, completely missing the two he was aiming for. "Damn."

"What happened?" Spike asked, trying to be as casual as possible as he lined up his own shot.

"Apparently, she isn't needy enough for him or some bullshit. He took off."

Spike stood straight up, his face showing his surprise. "The pillock just left her?"

"Took some mission down to the jungle. Goodbye, Agent Finn," Xander explained, taking a sip of his beer.

"Is she alright?" His heart was racing and he could feel the beads of sweat popping up on his brow.

"Willow says she's going through a 'death to all men' phase. She's convinced that all men leave her."

"Huh," Spike replied, simply.

"'Huh'? That's all you've got? I was expecting something a little more than 'huh'. Maybe a 'I've never left her' or a 'Yippee, she can be mine now'. Something other than 'huh'."

"When was the last time you heard me say yippee?"

"Not the point and you know it."

"Look, Harris, Buffy and I haven't exactly been spot on since last year."

"And why is that? No one knows what happened. Everything seemed to be going great, we were even betting on when you would be getting together, then there's ignoring, Parker, more ignoring, Riley and then Harmony. What gives?"

"Wait, you were betting on when we would..."

"Become a couple, yeah. We all figured it would happen eventually. Large pot, too...about a hundred and change," Xander told him, almost proud of it.

"Do you people have nothing better to do?" Spike asked, incredulously.

"Actually...no," Xander said, smirking. "So, spill it, Spike."

"Is there a bet on why we're not...you know, anymore?"

"Uh, no money, just pride in being able to figure it out."

"And the theories would be?"

"Willow thought you kissed and Buffy freaked out, I thought you wanted more to happen but Buffy rejected you, Cordy thought that the novelty of your friendship wore off and Oz wanted to stay out of it."

"Novelty? Unsurprisingly, that's not surprising that she would think that."

"So who's right? I want to gloat," Xander said, giving a little bounce of excitement as he waited.

"Sorry, mate. That's between Buffy and I, unless she says otherwise."

"Classic 'I was rejected' answer!"

"Do you know how annoying you are?" Spike asked, snidely.

"Yeah," Xander answered, shrugging. "Maybe you should go talk to her. See what's the what. Or, you know, break up with Harmony."

"Smooth, whelp. Real smooth," Spike said, chuckling. "Harm's not so bad."

"Sure, if you like that nail scratching down chalkboard effect."

Spike abruptly threw his cue stick on the table, put on his duster and turned away, walking out the exit.

"So, I guess we're done?" Xander called after him.

--------------------------------

Spike stormed into his apartment, slamming the door shut. Not bothering to remove his coat, he threw himself onto his couch, placing his arm over his head and sighed. _Thank God, that Harm_-

"Spikey?"

"Oh, balls," Spike muttered. "Yeah, in here."

"Oh, Spikey! Good, you're home."

"Why are you so happy that I'm home, French fry?" Spike asked, not bothering to even look at her. _Go away. For the love of man, go away._

"Ooh, French!" Harmony cooed.

"Jesus," Spike mumbled.

"You said we could go out tonight. Where have you been?"

"I went out with Xander."

"You love Xander more than me."

"I love botchulism more than you."

"Why do I put up with you?" Harmony whined.

"You're a sadist," Spike said and then paused, thinking. "Actually, I'm the sadist."

"I do not worship Satan!"

"You are daft, do you know that?"

"I hate you!" Harmony fell onto the couch and began to sob. "I give and I give and I get nothing in return."

"Then do us both the favor and get out."

"What? Blondie Bear, you don't mean that. I love you, I want-"

"Harm," Spike began, sitting up on the couch and forcing himself to look her in the eye. "I'm going out. I want you gone by the time I get back. Take everything that's yours and get out. I don't want to see one sodding unicorn figurine left. Do you understand me?"

"But Spikey..." Harmony said, sliding over to Spike. She lifted her hand to place it on his face but Spike grabbed her wrist.

"Don't. It's not worth the effort," Spike said, letting her go and walking out of his apartment.

------------------------------

"Hey, Mom," Buffy said as she entered Joyce's room.

"Buffy! What are you doing here? And you're dressed in something other than those pajamas that should be burned on sight," Joyce said.

"Willow...she made me go out tonight. Really bad play that the student union put on but it made us laugh which is of the good."

"Thank goodness for Willow," Joyce muttered under her breath.

"Thought I'd stop by, see how you're feeling. What's with the packing? Are you going on a gallery trip?"

Joyce put her slippers into her overnight bag and sighed. "Um, actually, honey, I'm going to the hospital tomorrow morning for observation."

"But I thought...you said everything was fine," Buffy said, trying to reign in her panic.

"The headaches are getting worse, I'm not feeling any better. They are just trying to be thorough. It will be fine," Joyce explained, trying to convince herself as much as her daughter.

"You don't know that! We don't...they don't. I-"

"Buffy, please. I'm trying to do this without breaking down. I need you to be strong for all us, okay? Just for a little bit. Until we know what this is."

"Fine," Buffy agreed quietly. "I'm going to...I'll leave you alone."

"Buffy, don't be like that. It's not what I meant-"

"No, it's fine. We're fine, I'm fine," Buffy said, giving her mother a weak smile before leaving her room, making her way down the stairs to the kitchen.

She could feel the pressure behind her eyes and she closed them tightly, trying desperately to remain strong like her mother needed. She didn't want Dawn to walk in and start asking questions. She opened the door to the backyard and sat on the porch steps, putting her head in her hands. Her breath caught in her chest and she felt her palms get wet. She heard a noise coming from the back of her yard and looked up to see Spike standing there.

"What do you want?" she whispered, not bothering to wipe away her tears.

"Are you...Do you need anything?" Spike asked, concern in his eyes that instantly made her feel even worse.

Buffy looked away from his gaze, his question hitting her in a way she didn't expect. She ran her hands through her hair, taking in a deep breath, only to let out a shaky one that gave away her attempt to not cry. She could see him move closer to her and she made no attempts to stop him. Spike sat next to her on the porch and looked at her, trying to will her to acknowledge him in any way. When she didn't, he carefully placed his hand on her back, patting her gently and quickly removed it. They continued to sit there, not talking, not looking at one another and neither caring how long they were there for.

------------------------------

"So, then what happened?" Willow asked, handing Buffy a cup of coffee.

"Nothing. I said I was going to bed, we said goodnight, I went in and he left. I don't even know why he came over in the first place," Buffy finished.

"That was probably my fault," Xander chimed in.

"And that's why?" Buffy asked.

"We were out playing some pool...I kind of told him about Riley and he took off."

"You told him that Riley left?"

"Yeah, I didn't realize it was a secret."

"But maybe Buffy was planning on telling him..." Willow said, trying to convey what an idiotic move she thought Xander made without actually saying it.

"It's been a month. I figured he knew. I didn't know you guys were barely on speaking terms," Xander tried to explain, getting flustered.

"It's just been a little on edge since we kissed on prom night." Buffy stopped, realizing what she had said. Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened in surprise at her own betrayal.

"Aha! I knew it! I win!" Willow exclaimed, bouncing in her seat happily.

"The bet's off by now," Xander threw in.

"You were betting on us?" Buffy asked, shocked.

"No, of course not!" Willow said, quickly.

"You're lying. I can't believe you guys would do that."

"I can't believe you kissed Spike over a year ago and never told me," Willow countered, pouting.

"That bad, huh?" Xander asked, nodding his head as if he knew that was what it was.

"That great, actually," Buffy said, quietly. "I can't believe I just let that slip out. I've wanted to tell you, I have, but I feel so stupid about the way I acted and-"

"Miss Summers?"

Buffy turned to see a doctor standing there. "Yes?"

"Your mother is in her room. We're going to keep her overnight and monitor her. She does want to talk to you but only you can come in the room," the doctor told her, looking between Xander and Willow.

"Uh, is she okay?" Buffy asked, hesitantly.

"Why don't we all have a talk when we get there?"

"Okay..." Buffy got up from her chair and turned to her friends. "I'll be back." They each gave her a smile of encouragement and a small wave as she walked down the hall to her mother's room.

-----------------------------

"Yeah, I'm coming. Why don't you just kick the bleeding door down?" Spike asked as he swung his apartment door open.

"I didn't want you to not get your security deposit back," Buffy said with a small smile.

"Uh, sorry. I didn't expect...you. You've never been here, beginning to think you never would be..."

"Xander told me when you moved out of Giles's," Buffy explained.

"Oh, well..." Spike trailed off, taking a good look at Buffy. "Pet, what's happened?"

Buffy tried to keep from crying but as soon as he asked her that, she let go. She began to sob, her whole body shook from the force and he quickly went to her, wrapping his arms around her and slowly brought her into the apartment. He brought her over to the couch and sat her down. He scanned the room looking for tissues and not seeing any, ran into the bathroom and grabbed a roll of toilet paper.

He held it out to her and said, "Sorry, don't have tissues."

"Thanks," she replied, taking the roll from him and sniffing.

"Where's Dawn?" Spike asked.

"She's with my mom right now but then she's going to hang out with Xander, Willow and Anya. I'm supposed to be doing something...I, I don't remember."

"Buffy, what's going on?"

"Mom...she's sick."

"Sick how?" Spike asked, putting his hand on the back of her neck, slowly massaging it.

"There's something in her head," Buffy said, through her sobs that had come back full force. "A...a tumor or something. He said all sorts of things I don't understand."

"Luv..."

"I'm supposed to be getting her clothes! I need to go home and get her pajamas and soap and shampoo and-"

"Buffy," Spike said forcefully, trying to snap her out of her litany. She looked at him, surprised by his tone. "Do you need me to take you to your house and bring you back to the hospital?"

"If you don't mind..."

"I wouldn't have asked if I minded," Spike said with a smile.

-----------------------------

"Are you going to be okay?" Spike asked as he walked her up to her front door. The hospital visit went a lot better than he had expected it to. He couldn't believe the complete turnabout in her behavior when they walked into Joyce's room. The girl who had been crying uncontrollably not forty-five minutes before was gone. In her place stood a woman who was in control of the situation, who was acting strong so she didn't scare her mother or little sister. He had never felt so much pride in her as he did at that moment.

"Could you come in and stay awhile?" she asked him, softly.

"Of course," Spike answered without hesitation. She nodded her appreciation and unlocked the door, stepping inside. "It's been a long time since I've been in here."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed quietly. "You want something to drink? I'm thinking a beer would be real nice right about now."

"Sounds good but I'll get it. Why don't you go sit on the couch? I'll even watch that cow movie you and Red were prattling on about a few months ago."

"Willow has forbidden me from watching that. It, uh, caused some problems. I'm feeling like I need some good ass-kicking. Feel like _Charlie's Angels_?"

"Hot girls, martial arts and explosions? Yeah, always in the mood for that," Spike said, smirking. Buffy rolled her eyes and went into the living room. His smirk grew into a smile that he got her to do something with those hazel eyes other than cry. He couldn't believe he was here again. He'd been at the house for cookouts but he hadn't been back in the house since prom night. He felt like whatever had been keeping out of this place had been revoked suddenly. He couldn't have been happier.

"Corona, huh?" Spike asked, sitting down and handing a beer to Buffy.

"The girly beer, I guess. Left over from, uh, I don't remember."

"Something I wasn't invited to?"

"No! You were always invited even if I didn't do the inviting." Buffy looked at him shyly before looking away. "I'm sorry, you know."

Giving her a slight smile, he said, "Yeah, I know."

"So...should you call Harmony? Tell her where you are so she doesn't worry," Buffy suggested. She knew he noticed the hesitation in her voice and she inwardly kicked herself for it.

"No need. We're not...it's over. What about you? Shouldn't Frowns-A-Lot be here?"

Buffy chuckled despite her best effort to scowl at him. "I know Xander told you about Riley. You can drop the act."

"Right, then. Want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly. You?"

"What's there to say? You've met Harmony," Spike joked. "Xander tells me you're going through a 'die men die' phase."

"Well, it hasn't been the funnest month and Willow gave me a much needed swift kick in the ass last night. And, hey, I said I didn't want to talk about it!"

"So you and Will are doing the girl bonding thing? I hope you're not considering going down her route of dealing with heartbreak."

"Huh?"

"Willow and that new girl she's...I don't know. Picked up some vibes of a not just friendly nature," Spike said, raising his eyebrow, hoping she got the gist.

"Wait...are you trying to say that Will has a girlfriend?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"You haven't met her?"

"No...but I haven't exactly been the most available of people since I started dating Riley. There has to be a mistake. I mean, that is definitely something Will would have told me about!"

"Maybe...at one time, but like you said, you've been busy with other things," Spike pointed out. "Look, maybe I read it wrong the last few times they've gone out with us-"

"You guys go out all the time?" Buffy asked, sadly.

"Sure, we're friends. It's what you do," Spike said, a little bitterness creeping into his voice.

"Do you think...never mind."

"Do I think what, pet?"

Buffy felt her stomach to a flip from him calling her pet. _It's been too long for that._ "Do you think we could put the past in the past and leave it there? Is that even possible?"

"You mean forget everything that's happened last year and start from scratch?"

"Yeah, I guess. I only know that I want to know my friends again." Buffy paused, taking a deep breath. "I want to know you again."

"I think that sounds like a plan, Buffy."

"Oh, good," she said, exhaling in relief. "Movie time?" She pressed play and settled into the couch next to him.

"You doing alright?"

"I'm better," Buffy said, flashing him a smile that left as quickly as it came. "But I'm so scared."

Spike wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she leaned her head against his arm. "If you need anything..."

"I know and in case I don't tell you in the next coming weeks, I appreciate it."

"Are you comfortable? I don't want to-"

"Spike, I just need you to hold me, okay?"

------------------------------

"Dawnie, we're bringing Mom home in less than an hour, your room better be cleaned!" Buffy yelled up the stairs.

"It is! Calm down!" Dawn screamed in reply.

"Don't make me come up there," Buffy replied, smiling at her impersonation of her mother. She walked into the living room, shaking her head. "I'll kill her. I swear to the whatever above, that I will kill her one of these days."

"She's still just a kid, you know. She probably doesn't get all this..." Willow reasoned.

"Yeah, I know," Buffy sighed, plopping down on the couch. "This last month has just been so hard without Mom here and having to take care of Dawn. If it weren't for you guys...I don't know..."

"Well, at least it took your mind off of Riley leaving," Anya commented.

"Anya," Xander muttered, ashamed.

"Well, it did. It's been two months and not one mention. Good job!" Anya gave Buffy a big smile and Buffy couldn't help but smile back, despite the bad timing on Anya's behalf.

"I'm late, I know. Many apologies," Spike said quickly as he entered the house. "You ready?"

"Yeah and you're not late. We still have like twenty minutes before we need to leave," Buffy told him.

"You said to be here...you're sneaky."

"Yup," Buffy said, with a smile.

"We were just talking about how with Joyce being sick, Buffy hasn't had to think about Riley," Anya informed in.

"Okay," Spike said slowly, looking at Buffy, who shrugged it off. He took a seat next to Buffy on the couch, putting his arm on top of the cushions, behind her head. "Tired?"

"Understatement but it's all good, you know?" She turned to look at him, that twinkle in her eye that he loved so much back again.

"Hey, Spike" Dawn said as she came into the room.

"Is it clean?" Buffy asked immediately.

"Would you like to check it, Colonel Summers? I'm not five anymore, I know how to clean my room."

"And just because you're two weeks away from being thirteen doesn't mean you haven't just stuck everything under the bed or in the closet," Buffy said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the stairs. "Any last words before I go up there?"

"No," Dawn spat out.

Buffy opened the door to Dawn's room and sighed in relief. She bent down and lifted the bed skirt up to check under and was happy to find there was nothing there. She walked over to the closet and began to open it when she heard coughing behind her.

"What's up?" she asked, not turning around.

"Are you sure you want me to come with you to pick up your mum? Xander can take the car...I can wait here with Willow and Anya," Spike said, taking a seat on Dawn's bed.

"Of course, I want you to come. Mom's expecting you to be there," she said as she opened the closet door, her eyes closed.

"You can open them, luv. Spic and span as they say."

"She had to have put all that crap someplace," Buffy said, giggling. "I refuse to believe that she actually did a chore."

"The Bit's trying. She knows more than you think," Spike told her.

"Has she been talking to you?" Buffy asked, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice.

"Yeah, she needed...Yeah, she has."

"Because I'm not, right?" Spike looked away and that was enough of an answer for her. She walked over to him, taking his hand. "What you've done for us this last month...I'll never forget that." She bent down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. She moved away and walked out of the bedroom, leaving Spike alone to stare in shock at her retreating form.

---------------------------------------

Buffy unlocked the door to Spike's apartment and walked in, locking it again. She knew he was at work and she was grateful. All she wanted was to crawl into his bed and fall asleep to the smell of him. With her mom still recovering from her surgery and still going through the rehab to make sure everything was in working order, she was still in charge of everything. It was weighing on her and the only place where she could let it go was at Spike's. When he had given her his spare key, she was too shocked to really process what it meant. They had become friends again as quickly as they had when they first met. She knew she loved him. She knew that Willow had been right all those weeks ago. It had been confirmed the night she went to him to tell him about her mother. It was more than safety and comfort, although she got that in abundance from him. It was a feeling of coming home after being away for too long. It simply felt right.

He had given her a sanctuary away from the craziness that was her life as of late. Sometimes she even brought Dawn along with her just to make her happy, but she usually came alone. Being here felt good. In this place, everything seemed to be stripped away. Everything that happened on Revello Drive was left there, unless she wanted to talk about it. He never pressed, even if he wanted to and she needed that. As much as everyone else was great, they were constantly taking a survey on how she was feeling that day. Spike had stopped asking a few days after they began talking like they used to. Buffy knew that getting through the last month and a half of her mother's illness would have been twenty times more difficult if Spike hadn't been there to help. Everyone had been terrific, even Cordelia had come home to see if there was anything she could do, but Spike had given her strength to get through everything.

She had come today to get her life back in order. She had many make-up tests to study for and papers to write. All of her professor's had been very understanding in regards to her plight and had given her the time she needed. She knew she might have to make a couple of the courses up during the summer, but at this point, she didn't care. Her Aunt Darlene had come for the week to visit with Joyce and to help with the house. She couldn't have come at a better time. It gave Buffy the perfect opportunity to start over again. She put her bag on the floor and sat on the couch with a huff. She pulled the books out of her bag and sighed.

"I need to nap first," Buffy said to no one. "Sleep, fresh brain...just what the Buffy ordered." She walked into the bedroom, took off her jacket and shoes. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head before crawling into the bed, snuggling up with Spike's pillow and falling to sleep instantly.

-------------------------------

Spike entered the apartment and instantly saw Buffy's books but not Buffy. He smiled as he shrugged off his duster, throwing onto the chair. He walked down the small hall to the bedroom and found her sleeping, her body wrapped around his pillow.

"She's trying to kill me," Spike muttered.

He climbed in on the opposite side, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her head. He brushed some hair off her face so he could see her sleeping. She looked so peaceful which set him at ease. He continued to stroke her hair and she moaned, startling Spike to stop what he was doing.

"Keep doing that," Buffy mumbled sleepily. He had no choice but to comply. "Is it late?"

"Around six. Had to work a little longer than I wanted."

"Still hating it?"

"Yeah, but it's money," Spike answered.

"Maybe someday, you'll find something you like better. I mean we're barely in our twenty's. We have about 40 plus years left to find out what we want to do." They both chuckled at that pathetic predicament. "Did I tell you I found my major?"

"No, when did this happen?"

"Last night. Mom and I were talking...I don't know, she got me thinking about stuff. She said she was so proud of the way I've handled everything."

"Always nice to hear," Spike commented, softly.

"Yeah, it is. We were just talking about stuff, in general. Life, love, death...all of it. It was a big monumental discussion and she said I was a good listener."

"Is that a major?"

"Funny...no, I'm thinking psychology. Or more to the point, child psychology."

"Interesting, not what I was expecting. Do you want to open a practice or what?" Spike asked, genuinely intrigued and Buffy smiled.

"I was thinking about high school. How all my counselor's thought I was doomed to do nothing because I had a string of bad luck. I know what that feeling is of being told you'll do nothing more than be a waitress. It's not right."

"High school counselor?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

Buffy giggled, "Scary?"

"A little but that's what makes it great. Plus, hot."

"Hot?"

"If I were in high school and you were my counselor..."

"Pig," Buffy teased, laughing.

"You love it," Spike drawled.

"I do." Before Spike had a chance to react, she moved towards him, grabbing his face with her hands and bringing her lips to his. It didn't take him long to get over his shock and began to kiss her back. He slowly moved his hand to her waist, hoping that he wasn't ruining anything by moving like the last time they had kissed. When he heard her moan into his mouth as his hands reached under the hem of her shirt and brush against her skin, he stopped worrying. He gave her a gentle squeeze, moving his other arm under her body, moving her closer to him and holding her there. Buffy let one of her hands travel down his face, his neck, down his chest and stopping at the hem of his shirt. Her fingers danced there for a bit and he had to resist the temptation to shove her hand up under his shirt. He let out a small gasp as he felt her fingers worm their way under his t-shirt, touching his stomach muscles for the first time. She lightly ran her nails up and down his side, back, stomach, anywhere she could reach. They both broke apart at the same time, sucking in much needed oxygen.

"Buffy?" he asked, his eyes brimming with questions, want and most importantly love. He looked into hers and saw the same, except she didn't look like she had any questions. She looked like she had found all the answers.

"I'm tired of moving around in circles, Spike. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to learn how to dance properly."

End Flashback

**************************


	21. 21

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

a/n: I'm so glad you have liked the story. It's such a dandy feeling. My beta kind of left me suddenly so I hope that I've put my English degree to good use and there's not a lot of mistakes. However, sometimes the mind and eye play tricks on you, especially when you know what's supposed to be there. Anyhoo, thanks again for the reviews here, at Crumbling Walls and Spuffy Archives. Very cool and much appreciated! Oh and Fifi Mash, next chapter...it's all about the lovin'. I've never written it so I'm a bit nervous but that's where it'll be. I was just taking my time. :)

**************************

Chapter 21

"Giles?" Buffy called out to the seemingly empty library.

"Back here!"

"Back where?" She scanned the room and smiled when she saw his head pop out from behind one of the stacks on the second floor. "Did you get lost again?"

"Yes, very droll, Buffy. Someone actually needed me to find them a book as amazing as that is," Giles explained as he walked down the stairs.

"It must get very lonely in here. If it weren't for me and Will coming in here like the good old days, you'd have nothing to do." She took a seat at the long table. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course," Giles said, taking a seat. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah, everything's great. Things are moving along quite nicely. It looks like I'm actually getting married in two months."

"I believe we're going to get the men's suits tomorrow. Is that still the plan?"

"Yup, Spike has to go to L.A. tonight for work and he will be bringing back the rest of the ushers, sans you and Xander, obviously."

"Has his co-worker come to terms with not being an usher?"

"Oh, Gunn? Yeah, he's apparently fine with it now. They're not that close so I don't understand where all the anger came from but hey, what are you going to do? Can't make everyone happy."

"That is certainly true," Giles agreed. They smiled at one another and Buffy looked away, lightly tapping her fingers on the tabletop. Giles saw that she was looking everywhere but at him and he didn't understand what had happened. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you need something? Or did you only want to talk of the suits?"

"Oh, right. Um, so I'm getting married."

"Yes, I believe we've covered that," he said, giving her a soft smile to continue.

"Well, the thing is, even if I could find my father, I'm not inviting him any way and I know I could ask my mom to do it but I've let so many traditional things go already and this is really important to both Spike and I." She looked at him briefly and went back to watching her hands tap the table nervously. "I know you already have the job as best man, but you're the closest thing that I have to a father and I was wondering...I was hoping that you would give me away."

Giles removed his glasses and began to wipe them absently with his ever-present handkerchief. He was afraid to speak. He was scared that if he tried, his voice would break under the emotional weight that he felt. He looked at her and saw that she was still staring intently at her hands. He could practically hear her thoughts of self-doubt as he sat there and said nothing.

"Oh, Buffy...that's...I, I'm afraid I have no idea what to say," Giles said, stumbling.

"A yes or no would be a really good start," Buffy told him, quietly.

"I would be honored."

Buffy breathed a sighed of relief. She slowly looked up at him and smiled. "I can't believe how nervous I was."

"Did you think I would say no?"

"Well, I didn't know..." Buffy trailed off, embarrassed that she actually did think that was a possibility.

"Of course, I wouldn't. Anything I could do for you and William, I would do. You are aware of that, yes?"

"Yes, I know but take into consideration my raging daddy issues and you get a nervous me asking you to be a daddy for a day," Buffy explained.

"Ah, I see. What if I had said no?"

"Obviously, I would have asked Snyder," Buffy told him in complete seriousness.

"Well, I'm sorry to have spoilt that plan," Giles said, chuckling.

"I suppose I can forgive you," Buffy teased lightly.

------------------------------------

The door jingled as Buffy walked through Sweet Me Off My Feet. She walked over to the display cases and had to control herself from purchasing all the pastry goodness. She walked into the back of the store where they kept the wedding cakes. She already had an idea of what she wanted for the cake part but she still hadn't made a decision on how she wanted it to look. She didn't know how much help Spike would be but she had insisted that he come, even though he put up quite a fight. He even went so far as to call Angel and asked him if he needed him to work that night. When he told Buffy he couldn't make it, she simply called Jonathan and changed the time to the afternoon.

"Hi, Buffy," she heard Jonathan greet her shyly.

She turned around and smiled warmly. "Hey, Jonathan. How are you?"

"Okay, busy, which is better than not being busy, I guess."

"Uh, yeah..." They stood there facing each other, not saying anything for a few minutes. He looked around, mouth puckered in a silent whistle and Buffy couldn't take it anymore. "Spike should be here any minute."

"Oh, okay, whenever is fine."

"I'm just going to..." Buffy pointed to the cakes and waved her finger around. Jonathan nodded and walked out of the room. "He didn't have to leave," she muttered to herself.

The door jingled and she turned around, only to see Xander standing at the front of the shop with his back to her. She smiled and walked over to him, grabbing him on the waist, which made him yelp out in surprise.

"Jeez, Buff, kill me," Xander said, holding his hand to his heart.

"What are you doing? Thinking of getting married...again?"

"Oh, wow, that's really funny. No, I need to get a desert."

"For what?"

"Uh, desert," Xander said, obviously stalling.

"Again I ask..."

"I have a dinner date. She wants cheesecake."

"A dinner date? Hmm...I wonder who that could be with," Buffy teased.

"No one you know. Just some girl that you have never met and probably won't because with my luck, it will go the way the rest of them go-"

"Xander, you sound like I used to," Buffy interrupted. "So the dinner date isn't with Cordy?"

"Huh? No! Nope, no Cordy involved..."

"Okay, if you say so."

"Well, why would I say so if it weren't so?"

Buffy only shrugged in response. She didn't want to badger him into admitting it and she instinctively knew that need to keep the beginnings of a relationship private. She had done it with Spike when they finally got together. The building, or rebuilding as the case may be, went a lot smoother when there weren't constant questions. She looked out the window and saw Spike walk by it and into the bakery.

"Hey, pet." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "Xander...what are you doing here?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't show. Called in for back-up," Buffy joked.

"I told you I'd be here, I'm here."

"God, there's no need to be snappish about it. I thought we got over the whole 'I'll be an ass about the wedding preparations' thing last night after the invite."

"I don't want to interrupt, but I do want to interrupt," Xander said to Buffy and Spike. He turned to the counter and began slapping the bell repeatedly and yelled for Jonathan.

Jonathan came running in from the back room, covered in flour and looking like he swallowed a canary. "I'm sorry. There was a cake...incident. What can I get for you, Xander? Another Strawberry Cheesecake?"

"Ooh, another?" Buffy asked, smiling.

Xander shot her a dirty look and said, "Actually, I'll take the Vanilla Cheesecake this time."

"Good luck with your cake, Xander. Come on, Spike," Buffy said, grabbing Spike's hand and dragging him to the back.

"Uh...you, too!" Xander called after them. He looked at Jonathan and said, "Whatever you do, go along with whatever Buffy says." Xander shot him a big smile, grabbed his cheesecake and quickly left the store.

"Is there a problem?" Buffy asked Spike.

"No, I was about to ask you the same thing," Spike shot back.

"You knew this was something we had to do but if you don't want to be here, then just go."

"Really?"

"No!" Buffy yelled. "We are going to find a god damn wedding cake today and you are going to help me find it or else there is going to be major repercussions!"

"Such as?" Spike asked, smirking.

"Oh, I'll think of something," Buffy said, taking her time to look him up and down, settling on his crotch.

"You'll only be hurting yourself, luv," Spike said, smirking.

"I'm just as friendly with my hand as you are," Buffy stated and turned away to look at the cake catalogue on the other side of the room.

"Hey now," Spike called out, walking over to her. "You can't just say something like that and leave a man standing there without a complete explanation of what you mean." He ran his tongue along the ridge of his teeth and added, "And I mean complete."

"You're insane," Buffy said, laughing. She took a step closer to him, placing her hand on his stomach, licked her own lips and smiled up at him. In a lowered voice, she said, "I have a whole system. Maybe I'll show you later on." She backed up a step, let her eyes go wide and slapped her hand to her head. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. You have to work, don't you? Aw, too bad for you."

"Are you two all set?" Jonathan asked, timidly.

"Yes."

"No. Give us a minute, would you, mate?" Spike watched Jonathan walk into the back room and advanced on Buffy. She backed up and soon felt the wall against her back. He stopped an inch away from her, placed both his hands on his wall beside her head and bent down, kissing her hard. "Sod work," he said against her lips, his voice so low and rough, it vibrated into her chest. "I like your idea better."

"And I like the idea of you being employed better," Buffy retorted, ducking under his arm and walking away. She glanced over shoulder and smirked at him, shaking her hips from side to side. He laughed and she turned back around. "Jonathan? We're ready!"

Jonathan practically ran out of the back, only to slow down before he crashed into Buffy. "Okay, great! Do you want to sit?" The nodded their consent and sat down at the small table. Jonathan grabbed one of the catalogues and placed it on the table. "So, do we know what kind of cake we want?"

"Chocolate," Buffy said, quickly.

"White," Spike said at the same time. They looked at each other, both with a puzzled expression on their faces. "I thought you wanted white."

"I thought you wanted chocolate."

"I'm not all that fond of chocolate. That's you, pet."

"No, you said-"

"If I can interrupt, I have a suggestion," Jonathan said with complete confidence. Gone was the Jonathan they all knew and now was a super-suave, in-command business owner. "I think a three-tier cake would be perfect. One part chocolate, one white and the third, smaller topping, the one you will shove into each other's faces at the ceremony, can be marbled white and chocolate."

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, a smile forming on Buffy's face. "That sounds great."

"What could we possibly do with three cakes?" Spike asked, exasperated. "There's no way in hell it's all going to get eaten if you're cutting down the guest list."

"Who told you that?" Buffy asked, her surprise evident.

"Willow, the other day. Not important. It seems excessive."

"Honey, it's a wedding. Everything is excessive," Buffy tried to reason.

"Okay, I hear what you're saying, Spike," Jonathan cut in. "We can have the two-tier then. The smaller can still be marbled and the bottom, larger portion can be half chocolate and half white."

"You can do that?" Spike asked.

"Sure, we can do anything," Jonathan reassured him, smiling.

"I'd like to see how you do that," Spike said, mesmerized by the idea.

"God, it's another onion blossom fascination," Buffy huffed.

"It's really quite simple," Jonathan began.

"Um, excuse me? We're picking out a cake and you have to get to L.A. so maybe you two can do the cake bonding thing some other time," Buffy said, smiling sweetly despite the tone of her voice. "The two-tier should be fine."

"Well, there's the most important part. Now," Jonathan said, as he opened up the book and turned it so Buffy and Spike could look at the pictures, "you just need to pick what you want it to look like. It doesn't have to be exact. We can always add, detract or do something completely different. It's up to you."

"Are those roses edible?" Spike asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"No..." Jonathan answered, trying to hold back his smile.

"How about the pearls?"

"Spike, it's decoration. We don't eat them," Buffy said, patting his leg.

"But if you can't eat it, what's the point? It's-"

"Excessive. We've already discussed that," Buffy interrupted. "It's just for show so people will 'ooh' and 'ahh' over it and we can gloat because we had a gorgeous wedding cake."

"It's all about the memories," Jonathan added.

"I'm hoping that I remember a little more than some bleeding cake," Spike said. "I don't get why it's necessary. And what is with those insipid looking figurines they put on top of the cake? Do we have to do that?"

"Do you realize you're whining?" Buffy asked, her smile returning. "We don't need any pearls. I would like some ribbon and roses-"

"It's a cake!" Spike yelled, shaking his head.

"And it's mine and it's what I want, right?"

"If I may, Xander gave me some advice before he left and I think I should give it to you, Spike. Go along with whatever Buffy says," Jonathan interjected.

"And who says Xander isn't the brightest bulb in the bunch?" Buffy asked no one in particular.

"Fine, get your roses and ribbons and whatever other unnecessary decoration for a cake that you can think of."

"Planned on it, regardless," Buffy told him, smirking.

---------------------------

"That took a lot longer than I thought it would," Buffy commented as they walked through the front door of their apartment.

"Picking a cake took almost two hours. Do you see anything wrong with that?"

"Personally? No, but I can see that you do."

"I have to get ready for work," Spike told her, heading off to the bedroom.

"Hey, mister," Buffy said, walking after him. She grabbed his arm when she caught up to him. "What is going on with you today? You are like grumpiness personified."

"It's nothing." He shook her arm off and continued to the bedroom.

"It's so obviously something and if you think you can get away with that after all that Warren meddling you did, you are sorely mistaken," Buffy warned, following him.

"All this wedding stuff is beyond me, pet. I'm sorry," Spike shrugged, while he looked through the closet for a shirt.

"'Beyond you'? What does that mean? I thought you were all on board now."

"I liked the invitation, Buffy. It didn't mean I was suddenly gung-ho for all this..." He flitted his hand in the air, waving it around.

She took a deep breath, sat on the bed and closed her eyes. "Fine, then don't help anymore. I was trying to have this be our thing but if you really want nothing to do with it than I'd rather you didn't. I'm tired of all the snippiness." She opened her eyes and he was kneeling in front of her. He reached out his hand to touch her face and she moved her head away. "Just don't. Get ready for work. I think I'll go visit Mom or something..." She went to get up and he shot up, tackling her onto the bed. "So not the time for this."

He pinned her arms over her head, running his thumb along the top of one of her hands. "You listen to me. I just want to marry you. It's all I've ever wanted. Do you understand?" She nodded meekly. "I'm sorry I'm not jumping for joy about whether there's pearls on our cake but I honestly don't give a shit, Buffy. All I care about is me, you and this. The rest of it is rot. All I need is for that guy to say I pronounce you husband and wife and I'm done. Are you hearing me? Do you see where I am coming from?"

"Y-yes," Buffy said, breathlessly. He released her hands and she immediately moved them down, placed them on his chest and pushed him off her. She rolled with him and straddled his hips, shimmying a bit, making them both groan out load. "When do you have to meet Angel?"

"As soon as I get there." She moved back and forth slowly, lightly kissing his neck and worked her fingers under his shirt, lightly scratching him. "Fuck him."

"Or me, you mean," she offered, giggling.

-------------------------

"You're late," Angel said as Spike walked through the door.

"For a very important date, I'm sure."

"If I ask you to be here by 7, I mean 7. I don't mean 8:30."

"You're lucky I showed up at all. Do you know what I just left at home?" Spike asked.

Angel flinched at the inference. "I am your employer, in case you have forgotten. A modicum of respect would be nice."

"But not completely necessary. You won't fire me."

"Don't be so cocky."

"It works so well for me, though," Spike retorted, smirking.

"I think telling you to get over yourself would just be a waste of breath. The husband gave us another couple of places that he thinks she's been going to." Angel threw a few matchbooks on the desk and nodded at them. "You need to go them, scope it out."

"You want me to hit all these places? I won't get home-"

"Until late," Angel interrupted. "Good thing you have a night job. You can sleep all day. Wes should be here soon, Gunn is out working a kidnapping with Gwen and Connor is in Sunnydale. So, yeah, you need to do this all by your lonesome. Can you handle it?"

"Sha, I think I can handle it," Spike grumbled as he picked up the matches. "She likes the classy places, eh?"

The office door opened and Spike heard "Well, I haven't seen you in some time". He turned and saw Wesley with a curvy brunette. _This must be Faith. Wes must be doing something right._

"Wes," Spike acknowledged with a nod of his head. "And you, darling, must be Faith."

"Bet your sweet ass I am. Nice to meet you," Faith said, smiling as she held out her hand. He took her hand and shook it. "So you're B's fiancé, right? Talk about hitting the jackpot."

"I am quite the lucky bloke," Spike concurred.

"Wasn't talking about her," Faith told him, smirking.

"Yes, well, although I do enjoy my girlfriend flirting with other men, I need to interrupt," Wes said. Faith grabbed Wes by his hair, yanking him down to her mouth, kissing him roughly and letting him go. "Uh, well...that was, uh..."

"You're very good for the old boy," Spike said to Faith, chuckling softly. "It's good to see."

"Don't tell me you're getting soft," Wes commented with a smile, knowing full well that Spike hated when someone called him that.

"You're treading, Sally."

"Okay, you're both big, strong virile men. Let's move on," Faith jumped in. "Buffy driving you insane with wedding prep or what?"

"She likes what she likes," Spike answered.

"I bet she does," Faith said, nodding knowingly.

"Suits tomorrow, right?" Wes asked.

"That's the plan. Why don't you come along with, sweets? I'm sure they can keep you company," Spike said to Faith.

"I'd rather watch you all try on the suits than sit around discussing flowers or some shit."

"Hey, I'm trying to run a business here," Angel told them. "Spike, I believe you have an assignment and you two, here's yours."

"You're working here now?" Spike asked, surprised.

"What the hell else am I going to do?" Faith questioned. "I'm an ex-con with anger management issues. I'm working on it."

"Do the getting to know you thing later. There's work to be done," Angel said, gruffly.

"Keep up this attitude and you're out of the wedding party," Spike warned.

"Oh, you mean I won't get to see you marry the love of my-" Angel stopped and looked at Spike briefly, who was looking at him in shock. "Uh, get out of here. Work, people. You need to do it in order for me to pay you." He quickly turned and went down the stairs to his apartment.

"That was fucking intense," Faith said. Spike and Wes turned to look at her both wearing expressions that screamed 'No shit, Faith'. Spike turned his attention to Wesley, who could only shrug at the questions in Spike's eyes. Spike shook his head and left the office, not turning to look back.

"Are you going to go talk to Angel?" Faith asked, nodding her head in the direction of the staircase.

"No, we have work to do. Best to just let him...work it out on his own," Wesley told her, taking her hand and leading her out.

---------------------------------

Spike opened the office door and stood in the foyer for a couple of minutes. He found the wife, got her to say all sorts of nasty things to him that he dutifully got down on tape and he left. Now he was back here, twirling the little cassette between his fingers, wondering if he should just drop it on the desk or give to Angel personally.

"Sod it," Spike muttered and headed down the stairs. He looked around, not seeing him in the bedroom or living room. He saw a light cast across the linoleum in the kitchen. He walked in and found Angel looking in the refrigerator. "Angel?"

Angel spun around quickly and shook his head. "Unless it's work related, I don't want to talk." He went back to staring into the fridge.

"I found her. Got her on tape. Quite the mouth on that one." Angel looked at him, an odd expression on his face. "Verbally...I don't know anything about the other and I don't appreciate the look that says that I do."

"Sorry," Angel grumbled, slamming the door shut. "That it?"

"Yeah, about that."

"Fine, just put the tape there. I'll talk to the husband tomorrow."

Spike threw the tape onto the table and said, "Whether you want to talk about it or not, I have something to say."

"Of course, you do. You couldn't possibly just leave well enough alone, could you? Always have to drive the point home," Angel said, gritting his teeth.

"Look, I'm not here to gloat, surprisingly enough. If you want out, I'd understand. I'm sure she would, too."

"I don't even know why you asked in the first place."

"It's a bit awkward, I'll give you that. The truth of the matter is, she considers you a good friend, a large part of her life...and you gave me a job so..."

"So you thought I'd want to stand there and watch her marry you?" Angel spat out.

"Hey, I'm trying to be all decent to you, which goes against everything I believe in so you should stop being an ass."

"Gee, thanks," Angel commented, sarcastically.

"She wants you there in any capacity, alright? Now I'm giving you the opportunity to bow out gracefully but you will still have to go to the wedding. It'll crush her if you don't."

"I don't think she'll be all that concerned about why I'm not there."

"Do you know her at all?" Spike asked, stunned.

"I thought I did."

"Well, I have news for you, then. You don't know bugger-all about her. If you don't show up, she will be hurt and she'll probably blame me. Now I won't stand for you to hurt her and I definitely won't tolerate being blamed because you can't get over it," Spike said, his anger coming to the surface.

"Spike, I'm done with this conversation, okay? Now leave," Angel said, brushing past him.

"No, we're not done. You need to tell me now if you're out. If you are, I have to find another guy to fill your place, come up with a valid reason as to why you're not going to be ushering to tell Buffy and find a way not to bloody kill you for being such a fucking ponce."

"You don't get to come in here and tell me anything. Do you like your job? Do you want to keep it?"

"You're threatening unemployment because I'm marrying your ex? You're quite the duffer, you know that?" Spike took a deep breath, walked towards Angel until he was only a few inches from him. He narrowed his eyes, clenched his jaw and forcefully said, "Show up tomorrow or don't. I don't care anymore. But you're the one who will be explaining it to her. We understand one another?"

Spike didn't bother to hear Angel's answer. He ran up the stairs and out into the night, got into his car and raced back to Buffy.

***********************


	22. 22

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (season 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

a/n: As always, thanks for the reviews at ff.net, CW and SA. It's really nice and I get to do the dance of joy each time someone leaves one. So thanks so much. Also, someone nominated this at the Spuffy Awards which is just too cool for words. Whoever you are, I am flattered that you liked it enough to think to do that.

Okay, this chapter is mega-long. I probably should have broken it up in two parts but I don't like to break the flashbacks up and so I didn't. :) I'm usually not fond of songs in fic but I found myself in a position where I could put it in or not. After debating over it all weekend, removing it and putting it back more times than I can count, I decided to leave it in. I justified it by just having the B/S centric songs here because to me, they were very important to what happens through out the night. So if you don't know some of the other songs, that's a real shame. And of course, I don't own any of the songs. It all belongs to the brilliant people who wrote and sang them. Lastly, I'm kind of a prude when it comes to writing a sex scene. I spent a half an hour alone weighing the pros and cons of typing the word erection so what does that tell you? (And obviously helped because I just typed it again) But I gave it a go. I only hope it's not too crappy. I can read smut until the cows come home but actually writing it? I'll leave that to the others who do it so much better. So be forewarned...there is light smut ahead. 

Chapter 22

Flashback

"This sucks," Buffy mumbled before letting her head fall on top of the book on the table.

"It's not that bad, Buffy."

"No, it is that bad. What the hell was I thinking when I picked psychology? I was in a state of flux, grasping onto something. This is doomed."

"It is not doomed," Willow said, laughing slightly. "I think it's great that you have something picked out. It's only the beginning of our sophomore year. Hardly anyone has picked their major yet."

"You have," Buffy sighed.

"Not exactly..."

Buffy's head shot up, her eyes wide in surprise. "Are you trying to tell me that you're as goalless as the rest of the human race?"

"I've been giving a lot of consideration to things. Remember when Snyder let me take over Jenny's classes? I've been thinking of getting back to that. Maybe double major in education and computers."

"You're going to pick two majors? You actually had my hopes up for a minute that you would be cruising down the Gen Y highway with me," Buffy said, smiling a little.

"Well, with your mom back to feeling like her old self, you can totally concentrate on school, right?"

"Yeah, but I feel like school is all I've been doing. School, Mom, Dawn, home...I'm only twenty and I feel like I'm going on forty. I hardly see Spike so we're in this constant state of who knows what. I'm pretty sure my brain is going to explode."

"It's probably pent up sexual tension," Anya threw in.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"You and that going crazy thing that you're doing. No happy sex time."

"You think me not having sex is the cause of my problems?"

"No, Anya didn't mean that," Willow said, quickly.

"Of course it's what I meant. You've been with Spike for months now and I'm guessing that there have been no interlocking activities."

"Not yet," Buffy agreed quietly.

"I, personally, don't know what you're waiting for-"

"Anya," Buffy interrupted. "Not that this is anyone's business but I'm waiting because I seem to jump into sex and then I end up being left all alone and heartbroken. I'm trying to go slow, to see where it all leads."

"I hate to break this to you, but your foreplay was the year and a half you danced around each other. Throw him down and ravage him. You will feel much better," Anya said with a big smile.

"I'm scared that this is coming out of my mouth, but Anya may have a point," Willow said meekly.

"You have got to be kidding me with this," Buffy muttered.

"I'm not saying she's completely right but with everything that's happened in the last six months, things have been high on the stress level. You finally, to the relief of everyone around you, admit your feelings for Spike and now you're just waiting. I'm not entirely sure why."

"So when you met Tara, you just threw her down and ravaged her?" Buffy asked, sarcastically.

"Well, no, but that's a little different. I was falling in love with a woman. Hello? No previous experience with that so I kind of took my time."

"Sorry, Will, I didn't mean it like that. I don't understand where all this sudden interest in my lack of a sex life is coming from. I'm sure Spike's not complaining about it. It's not like we don't do stuff..."

"Have you been naked with him?" Anya asked.

"God, Anya, do you have any inner monologue at all?" Buffy asked, feeling her face burn.

"No," Anya answered quickly. "So have you?"

"Completely? No and I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's wigging me out."

"Well, I hope for your sake that he isn't deformed in some way. What a waste of many orgasms," Anya added, wistfully.

"Why would you say that?"

"Looking at him alone could make a girl have an orgasm. It'd be a shame if it didn't function properly."

"Anya, if you say orgasm one more time, I'll scream," Buffy warned.

"If you would just have sex with him, you could be screaming all the time, I'm sure," Anya pointed out.

"Oh my god," Willow whispered to herself.

"I will die of embarrassment as soon as I say this but I don't need to have sex with him to scream, okay? So leave me alone already."

-----------------------------------

"Hey, Mom," Buffy said as she walked into the gallery.

"Hi, honey. How is everything?" Joyce asked as she embraced her daughter.

"Fine, busy but things are fine. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, I'll get Tara to cover the front. I can't even begin on what a wonder she is here. Let me go get her from the back." Joyce walked into the storage area and Buffy looked around at the walls. Her eyes lingered on a photograph of a blonde boy and a girl, holding hands and walking down the street. She smiled and reached her hand out to touch the picture.

"Isn't that lovely?" Joyce asked from behind, startling her. "New photographer. It's so simple but there's something sweet and innocent about it."

"Yeah," Buffy said, absently and turned away from the picture. "Hey, Tara."

"Hi," Tara answered, shyly. "Do you want me to stay out here?"

"Yes, at the desk. Just answer the phone or help anyone that should come in. You'll be fine. It's about time I get you out of the back," Joyce said with a smile to reassure her. Tara nodded and walked over to the desk. "Come on, you. We'll go into my office, okay?"

Joyce shut her office door and sat on the small couch beside Buffy. She saw the look of apprehension on her daughter's face and had to hold back the urge to stroke her head like she used to do.

"So, Tara's internship is going well, huh?" Buffy asked, lamely trying to start up the conversation.

"She's really something. Brilliant at art and I have the feeling you didn't come to talk about Tara..."

"I hate when you're all Omniscient Mom."

"It's how the best mom's are," Joyce joked.

"I'm not having sex with Spike yet," Buffy blurted out. She looked at her mother and she saw the look of surprise on her face from her sudden admission. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"Goodness, no. Who told you...Have you been talking to Anya? That girl has quite the liberal view when it comes to sex."

"No, well, sort of. We were studying...or Will and I were studying, Anya was just being Anya and suddenly the conversation turns to Spike and me and the non-naked time we spend together. I tried to explain that I was waiting-"

"Waiting for what?" Joyce asked, interrupting.

"That's exactly what they wanted to know. I keep waking up to empty beds, Mom...I don't think I could handle it if I woke up in Spike's alone."

"Oh, baby," Joyce comforted, leaning over and running her hand along Buffy's head. "I feel certain that Spike is not the get up and go sort."

"They never seem like that and yet..."

"We're talking about a man who has been around for awhile now, has continued to stay around even though things with you didn't exactly work out at first. He didn't run off at the first sign of trouble."

"I know this, Mom. It's just...if things don't work out, I lose my boyfriend and best friend in one swoop."

"Is that why you waited so long to admit what you were feeling?" Joyce asked.

"Who says I felt something prior to this?"

"Buffy, amazing as this is, in the twenty years I have on you, I have learned quite a few things. Are you honestly going to tell me that you didn't like Spike when you first met him?"

"It's not that I didn't...but Angel and I had broken up. I was trying to recover."

"Okay, but Riley hadn't been gone that long-"

"I never felt for Riley what I did for Angel. I think that's fairly obvious."

"Sure, because you were crazy about Spike and he, you." Buffy began to protest and Joyce shook her head. "Buffy, I'm the mom which naturally makes me smarter about these things." She gave Buffy a wry smile. "You want my honest opinion about this?"

"If it's throw him down and ravage him, I already heard it from Anya," Buffy answered softly.

"Then I guess we're done."

"Mom!"

Joyce smiled and said, "Have you talked to him about this?"

"I'm not going to talk to Spike about not having sex with him. That's too weird."

"It's also the mature thing to do. You want answers, go to the source. Otherwise, continue to not do anything about it and watch it become a huge issue that will be unavoidable in no time."

"I can't just say 'so about that sex we're not having...'," Buffy tried to explain, becoming exasperated.

"I'm not saying jump into the conversation right off the bat, but gradually go into it. You two have always been able to talk. This should be no different."

"But it is! This is not the kind of conversation we have. Sure, we can talk until we're blue in the face about any topic. But us, sex, together?" Buffy shook her head, willing herself to block it all out. "It's not possible."

"Then I'd say you're doing the right thing by not sleeping with him. If you can't talk to him about it, you definitely shouldn't be participating in it."

"But-"

"No buts, Buffy. If you're not mature enough to have 'the talk' with your boyfriend, then you're most likely not mature enough to handle everything that comes with it."

"Mom, I've had sex before. It's not like this is new terrain for me."

"True, but like you said, you didn't care nearly as much for Riley as you did Angel and even I understand the Parker situation," Joyce reasoned. "With Angel, you were still a child and I'd rather not get into that discussion now because I still have many issues with that..."

"I think this is going a lot better than the talk after Angel," Buffy said, a smile forming on her mouth.

"Undoubtedly," Joyce sighed. "My advice is to talk to him."

"I'll think about it. Thanks, Mom," Buffy said, giving Joyce a hug.

"Anytime, honey," Joyce said. "And if the talking thing doesn't work out, go with Anya's advice."

"Mom!"

------------------------------

They pulled apart from each other, panting slightly. His mouth still only millimeters from hers and their breath intermingled in the space between them. She continued to glide her hand in a circular motion at the base of his back. His hands were still massaging her scalp, his fingers getting caught in her blonde locks. He kissed her chastely on the lips and rolled to the side, snuggling between the sofa and her. She turned so her body spooned against his and they released a contented sigh.

"That was..." Buffy began, only to trail off.

"Yeah..." Spike mumbled into her ear.

"If it's that nice like this, I can't imagine-"

"What it'll be like when we're not clothed?" Spike asked, interrupting her.

"Um, yeah. About that," she started again.

He kissed the side of her neck and said, "It'll happen when it does, pet. I'm in no rush."

"But it's...Don't you feel like a sixteen year old, making out on the couch, mindlessly groping at each other?"

"It has its perks," he said softly, his mouth still against her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

"It's a bit...messy, though. For you, mostly. I mean-"

"So I have to change my pants. Believe me when I say, it's worth it." Buffy giggled and he reached over her body, taking her hand in his. "The fact that you're here at all...that you touch me with these hands, kiss me with that mouth...Do you know what you do to me?"

Buffy turned to face him and he placed his hand on her hip. She brought her hand to his face and ran her index finger along his jaw line. He closed his eyes and she smiled slightly, delighting in the feel of his muscles twitching under her finger. She closed the distance between, lightly running her tongue along his lips. He opened his mouth in surprise and she took the opportunity to take his bottom lip into her mouth, nipping at it lightly. Buffy pulled away, only to feel his hand on the back of her head, pushing her towards his mouth. She smiled as they began to kiss again and his hand dipped under her shirt, lightly caressing her side. She broke away, breathing in deeply. She rubbed her head into his hand that cupped it and smiled when he began to lazily work his fingers.

"You do the same to me," she whispered and his eyes opened, a look of surprise passing through them. "So there's this party Cordy's throwing in a couple of weeks."

"The Halloween party? Yeah, got my invite. Surprised the hell out of me."

"Cordy always liked you. I think that's nice that she did that. I figured she assumed that I would be taking you."

"So we're going?"

"It'll be fun. I haven't dressed up since...well, last year but come on," Buffy whined a little. "We're all going, Cordy says the place is great and promises that fun will be had by all. Plus..."

"What?"

"Well, we figured it's all the way in L.A. so we should probably consider staying the night. Cordy says there's a hotel down the street called the Hyperion. We were thinking of getting some rooms..."

"We'd be together? It's not going to be broken up into boy, girl stations?"

"Uh, no," Buffy said, laughing. "If you really believe Anya would let Xander spend a night away from her and the many orgasms she could achieve, you haven't been paying much attention over the last year."

Spike chuckled and nodded his head. "Alone in a hotel room. Can I trust you?"

"Oh! That's rich!" Buffy said, laughing harder. Her laughter tapered off as she thought about being alone with him for the night. "Just because we get a room doesn't mean-"

"I know," he told her, his voice low. "We'll just see how it goes. You may just want to leave."

"Or I may just want to stay."

"Exactly."

"So if you had a choice, you'd want to-"

"Stay," he said with the utmost confidence, looking her straight in the eye.

"I think if all of us are going to the party, we might as well stay. We can make like a weekend of it or something. Could be lots of fun and a nice break which is something I definitely need," Buffy suggested, feeling her excitement about the idea growing.

"What is Caritas, anyway?"

"This guy hired Angel for a case and they all hit it off, apparently. Cordy says the guy is a blast and he owns the bar where the party will be."

"You're not twenty-one yet."

"I know but Cordelia told me that if you have an invite, you're good. But I think I'm supposed to pretend to be of age," Buffy told him, rolling her eyes. "Being twenty stinks. It's like limbo. You're not in the teens anymore and you're not considered a full-fledged adult. Besides, I'm such a light weight. If I have one drink, and that's a big if, it will be enough for me. Drinking, though, is not on the forefront of my mind. It's the idea of getting away, even for a night, that appeals to me."

"Then we'll have the best night we've had in months," Spike promised, kissing the top of her head.

"Um, Cordy told me that Harmony will be there. They've apparently worked things out..."

"I don't care."

"Well, I was just letting you know in case it should get awkward or something," Buffy said, taking a deep breath and quickly adding, "Angel will be there, too."

He moved his head back so he could look at her face. She wasn't looking at him but she knew that he was watching her. She continued to draw circles on his t-shirt with her finger, feeling the need to do something as he laid there, staring at her.

"Will you please speak?" Buffy begged.

"So, I'll finally get to meet the Great Poof," Spike said, unenthusiastically.

"I'd, you know, refrain from calling him that when you do," she said, a slight smile on her lips.

"Do I have to be nice?"

"A little...it won't be that painful, I promise. Besides, he might not even stick around but I thought I should let you know."

"Is it going to be difficult for you?" Spike asked, quietly.

"Not with you there," she answered just as quietly. "Look, it's bound to be weird no matter what. We haven't seen each other since he left and I won't lie and say I wanted him gone because I didn't. I thought...ah, I don't know. I thought a whole bunch of things in regards to Angel and none of it went the way I thought it would."

"You never did tell me what happened."

"Do you really want to talk about this now?" Spike shrugged. "You're not going to get all...you-like, right? You're just going to nod and listen..."

"Sure, luv. You don't have to-"

"No, it's fine. I guess we should do this. If you're going to meet him and whatever..." Buffy snuggled in closer to Spike, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I met him when I first moved here. We sort of just went around each other...he thought he was too old for me, I thought he didn't like me...normal teen angst stuff. I left for the summer to go see my dad and when I came back, I was nasty to him. I was frustrated, I guess. So depending on my mood, I either ignored him or screamed at him or tried to make him jealous so he would see the light. I even used Xander on one my schemes. Against his knowledge, naturally."

"What did you do to poor Xander?"

"I did a sexy dance with him at the Bronze. Totally used his crush on me against him. I've never apologized for that. I should..." Buffy trailed off, thinking.

"And so..."

"Oh, so it worked, pretty much. Not the best way to snag a guy, I know, but I was only trying to get him to notice me. So there we were, happy couple except I couldn't tell my mom about him. I was only sixteen. I knew she wouldn't be thrilled to learn that my boyfriend could legally buy a drink."

"There's two words for that, you know," Spike said. He was really trying to not say anything but he hadn't realized that Angel had been that much older than her.

"Yeah, I know and don't go saying them," Buffy warned. "Things were good, we're getting along, being all in love and then my birthday comes. It's a known fact that my birthdays are about as much fun as Chinese water torture. But my seventeenth takes the cake. The Gang had a surprise party for me, things were great, he was walking me home and it began to pour so we ran to his apartment. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have gone there but..."

"Buffy, if you don't want to finish-"

"No, it's fine, really," she interrupted. "I appreciate the offer, though. He gave me my gift, which was a Claddagh ring and he told me he loved me and I said it back. And I believed it...and him and so I thought taking the next step was the most logical. I remember he said 'maybe we shouldn't do this' and me being oh so brilliant said 'just kiss me' and so he did. I woke up, he was gone." She inhaled Spike's scent to keep her grounded, to keep the tears from coming. "Needless to say, when I finally caught up with him, he just...he wasn't the man I thought he was."

"How do you mean?"

"He was...different. Cold, mean...he said things that I'll never forget but I still loved him. I still wanted to work it out. It's sick, right? How we do that to ourselves? We torture ourselves with this love thing. Because that's what it was. Torture. And I did it to me. It was months of him trying to get to me, sending me flowers, going to my mom, leaving drawings in my room of me sleeping. It was always something."

"Are you telling me he stalked you?" He was barely hanging onto his rage by a string. He couldn't believe that she expected him to be nice to this guy when they met. There would be no possible way.

"That's how it seemed," Buffy began.

"That's how it sounds, sweets."

"This friend of his, Whistler, came to see me and told me about all this trouble Angel was in. I had no idea what kind of stuff he had gotten into. It seemed to have literally happened over night."

"You've forgiven him for all this? You must have if you went back to him."

"Spike, it wasn't that simple. Things were crazy. He left, I ran away after my mother and I had a huge falling out about him and the way I led my life. Like I said, I still loved him. He was my first everything and I never thought...I never thought I would get over it. Him."

"So he sweet talks you back into his life?"

"No, it wasn't like that. When he came back, he was like he used to be. He never tried to get back together with me. It was just the opposite but, you know, over time we just sort of fell back into it. He wanted forgiveness for what happened and I eventually gave it to him. Willow pointed out that no matter how good it got, those memories would always be with me, would always get in our way. I think he knew that and deep down, I did, too, but I didn't want to remember. I just wanted to forget those months, forget about the monster he became...and we tried, I tried. But he was the one that could never fully forgive himself and he wanted me to have a life he thought he could never give me and he left again and that's when-"

"You met me," Spike finished. Buffy nodded. "What exactly did he get into?"

"The three d's...drugs, drinking, debauchery...what he told me was that he woke up and felt guilty that he let it go so far. He went to Willy's, had a few drinks, some guys he had known from school offered him something better, he took them up on it and he just kept on taking it...So, see, it really wasn't him. It's not really how he is. He got caught up in all that crap and I just happened to be there...Apparently, it wasn't the first time it's happened to him. When he was younger, he got into the same trouble but I guess I just brought that need out in him."

"Piffle," Spike muttered.

"Spike..."

"No, I won't let you feel badly about what happened. Not here, not with me. He led you up the garden path, luv. There's nothing for you to feel guilty over."

"I don't...not anymore. I stopped riding the guilt train a long time ago."

"But..."

"But it still hurt like hell when he left. It was so final. I knew he wouldn't be coming back. Part of me was grateful that he did it and a part of me, the much bigger part, was furious that he could just up and leave with barely a goodbye. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never see him again and then Cordy has to go and work for him...I don't know but I think it will be okay."

"Barrel of laughs, I'm sure," Spike said sarcastically.

"No, what I mean is, it's been long enough. Time heals all wounds or whatever," Buffy said, slowly moving away from the comfort of Spike's arms. She rested her head on the other half of the pillow that he was on and sighed. "Things are much different now. I'm not the same girl and I'm sure he's not the same guy. Regardless if he's moved on, I have."

"Yeah?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," Buffy concurred, running her index finger along his lips. She gasped when he opened his mouth and brushed his tongue across it. "A big yeah," she mumbled, feeling the butterflies in her stomach as he continued to nip at her finger.

----------------------------------

Xander opened the door to Spike's apartment with a smile. "Velcome to Spike's Haunted holy crap!" He slammed the door shut, shaking his head.

Willow and Tara looked at each other and Willow rolled her eyes. She lightly knocked on the door and said, "C'mon, Xander, let us in."

"Willow?" he asked from the other side.

"Yeah, of course, it's me. Let us in."

He slowly opened the door, the look of horror still on his face. "What the hell happened to cute, little red-headed, non-vein-y Willow?"

"Didn't Tara do a great job with my make-up? I look scary, huh?"

"That's an understatement," Xander said, looking the now black-haired, black clad, vein-faced girl up and down. He looked at Tara, dressed in a flowing white dress with a long white wig, light make-up and sparkles. "So you're like a hot ying and yang?"

Willow laughed. "No, silly. She's a good witch and I'm an evil, going to destroy the world witch."

"Oh, yeah, obviously."

Anya entered the room and looked at the three of them. "Hmm...interesting," she commented before sitting on the couch.

"Anya, you look amazing," Willow said.

"Yes, I know."

"Why are you so dressed up?" Tara asked.

"I had to. I'm Xander's Bond Girl, Mons Gold. Not only do I get to wear a tight gold dress to drive my Xander crazy but it also infers that I have a mons made of gold and we all know that means-"

"So...where's Buffy?" Xander asked, cutting Anya off.

"Uh, she had to get her bag from the car," Willow told him, still distracted by Anya's explanation of her costume.

"Don't forget the treats," Tara told her.

"Yeah, Buffy got us chocolate. She's in a really good mood."

"It must be contagious because I heard Spike singing earlier," Xander told her.

"You think they're..." Willow trailed off, raising her eyebrows.

"No, they're not having sex yet," Anya told them, matter-of-factly. "Ask the same question tomorrow and I think you'll have a different answer. Buffy can be Mons Gold, too!"

"Who's Mons Gold?" Buffy asked as she walked into the apartment. "A little help, please."

Xander grabbed the box of little plastic pumpkins that were filled with candies and put it on the table. "Anya, don't answer that," he said quickly. Turning to Buffy, he said, "You don't want to know."

"I'm betting you're right about that," she said, with a smirk. "Where's Spike? Is he ready?"

"He's still in the bedroom. You should join him. We can wait!" Anya suggested.

"Anya, will you please leave it alone. You'll ruin everything," Buffy said, frowning.

"Were they having a sale on black wigs or something?" Xander asked, looking at Buffy's head.

"Well, blonde doesn't exactly go with the ensemble," Buffy said with a laugh. "I'll be right back..."

"Have fun!" Anya called after her.

She turned around and said, "I'm going to see if he's ready! I'm not going to do...that!" She walked to the bedroom and opened the door. Spike was standing in front of the long mirror, putting the finishing touches on his hair. _ Oh...my...god._ She looked him up and down and unconsciously, licked her lips. He squeezed some more gel into his hands and brought it to his already very spike-y hair.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to run my fingers through that," Buffy joked. He turned around, smirking but as he saw her, it quickly turned to a look of surprise as his mouth went wide and his eyes roved over her body. He walked past her, not saying a word and went into the bathroom to wash his hands. Buffy looked after him, confusion on her face. She walked over to the mirror and looked at herself, shrugging. She heard the door close, saw him walking towards her and felt him press up against her, wrapping his arms around her torso.

"You look...unbelievable," Spike whispered in her ear.

"Really? I wasn't sure...I don't really know what punk girls look like."

"Whatever possessed you to dress like this?" Spike asked, looking in the mirror so he could see her.

"Xander told me that's what you were doing and Cordy had said there's a couples prize and so...Plus, fun. It's come as you aren't night and this is as far from who I am as I could get," Buffy explained.  
  
"This," he said, as he tugged lightly on the black bob-style wig that donned her head, "was a shock."

"I thought the blonde didn't exactly work. Will needed to get a wig and I went with her. I feel kind of like Rose McGowan in _ The Doom Generation_."

"Much hotter." He backed up from her and spun her around, looking at her again. She blushed under his scrutiny and the look in his eyes of absolute desire. His hand entered the cut of fabric across the stomach of her shirt and said, "This I like." He ran his hands down to her hips that were showing just a bit. "This I like". They kept moving down to the skirt. "This is sinfully short." He tugged on the skirt. "I love it." He got on his knees and brought his hands to her legs and moved them up and down her thighs, going under her skirt every other time. "And these are fantastic." He pulled on the red and black fishnet stockings. "You put these holes in them?"

Buffy smiled, embarrassed. "Actually, my fingernail ripped it on my knee and then I thought that works so I put some more in. How about the boots?" She lifted her foot and placed it on his thigh.

"Almost my favorite...but my eyes keep going back to this skirt. Where'd you get these?"

"Xander brought me to an Army surplus store," she told him. "So you like the skirt?"

"I'm having naughty thoughts about this skirt," he said, his voice deep. "It's the plaid and the pleats...very dirty Catholic school girl." He stood slowly, grabbing her leg as he went and wrapped it around his waist. She jumped up a bit, wrapping the other around the other side. "So do you think we're staying tonight? Because I can't promise that I'm going to be able to control myself with you looking like this."

"I'm having the same thoughts," Buffy whispered into his ear. He brought her over to the bed and put her down. He stood in front of her, his arms out, a smug look on his face. Buffy kneeled on the bed, grabbed his arm and brought him closer to her. "This I like, although you could probably poke my eye out," she said as she patted his hair. He chuckled softly, his eyes never leaving her. "This I love." She lightly ran her finger around his eye. "Only you and Ewan McGregor should wear eyeliner. Sexy."

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh," she said, smiling. "This shirt is yummy. Did you buy it like this or did you put a hundred safety pins in it?"

"Bought it like that," he smirked.

She ran her hands down his arms, lightly massaging the muscles as she went and said, "I can tell you right now that this is my favorite part." She leaned over, kissing his exposed shoulder. He groaned at the contact and she smiled, her mouth still on his skin. "Oops, I got lipstick on you."

"Leave it," he said, grabbing her hand before she wiped it away.

She touched the necklaces that he was wearing and lifted one of his hands. "Love the jewelry."

"Like yours, too, ducks," Spike said, placing his other hand on her wrist, touching the leather cuff.

She removed her hands and slid them down his chest, loving the feel of the safety pins beneath her fingers. They came to rest on his waist. One of her hands gave a little tug to the black belt he was wearing and the other to one of the rings hanging from it. "I can use this to pull you around all night."

"Don't need a ring," Spike barely said.

She smiled again and sat down lower on her legs, putting her hands on his thigh. One of her hands slipped into the tear that was there and lightly massaged his leg. "Not black. Love it. Tight in all the right places but baggy enough to leave a little mystery." Her hands went back to his arms and she sat back up. "But these...I could be rubbing these arms all night, you know."

"Sounds fine to me, pet." He leaned in to kiss her when they both heard loud banging on the door. "Bloody hell. What?"

"Sorry to interrupt what is hopefully turning into a gratifying sexual experience for you both but if we want to be there on time, we need to leave," Anya said through the door.

"You can come in, Anya," Buffy called out.

She opened the door, slowly and popped her head in. "You're still clothed."

"Yeah, what did you expect?" Spike said, a bit more snappish than he meant.

"Well, it's okay. Buffy says that she screams just as loud with her clothes on," Anya announced, brightly.

Spike looked at Buffy, eyebrow raised in amusement. Buffy knew she was sixty shades of red and muttered, "Oh my god."

-------------------------

"Cordy's supposed to be meeting us here," Buffy told the group as they entered the hotel. They all stopped right above the stairs, each with an awed expression on their face.

"This place kicks ass," Willow said, excitedly and running down the stairs, pulling Tara with her.

"I guess we should all check in now, drop off our stuff and find Cordelia," Xander suggested.

After receiving their keys, the three couples made their way to their rooms, deciding to meet back in the lobby in ten minutes. Buffy and Spike arrived at room 203 and Buffy felt her stomach drop. She was far more nervous than she ever thought she would be and it was beginning to grate on her nerves. She tried to literally shake it off but it failed miserably. She looked at Spike, who had opened the door and gave him a weak smile.

"You cold?" Spike asked, reaching out to rub her upper arm.

"No, fine..." She went into the room and looked around, putting the box of treats on a small table against the wall. "Wow, this is unreal."

"Old hotel, better architecture," Spike said, shrugging. He placed their bags on the floor at the foot of the bed. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" Buffy answered too quickly to his liking and he gave her the look that told her that he didn't believe that at all. "I'm...I'm nervous."

He walked over to hear, wrapping his arms around her, lifting her up a bit and kissing her lightly on the lips. "Me, too." He let her go and took a step back. "Should we go down?"

"Sure, let me just touch up the make-up. Want to join me?" she asked, laughing.

"Har-har." He watched her sashay into the bathroom. He loved how the skirt barely covered her when she leaned over the sink to look in the mirror. He was suddenly hit with a realization. "Hey, pet, you know you can't bend over in that skirt when we get there."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked, turning slightly to see what the problem was. She saw that it had risen up to just below her bottom and she smiled. "You're the one who said it was sinfully short."

"Which is fine...when you're with me."

"Do you want a club? You know, to bat me about the head with and then you can pound on your chest, yelling, 'Mine' to anyone who comes near me."

"You'd be willing to do that?"

"Come on, we're going," Buffy said, shaking her head, grabbing the box of treats and handing them to Spike.

"So you're not going to change?"

"Are you? You think I'm going to enjoy the women that will undoubtedly try to fondle those arms that belong to me?" Buffy asked as she walked out the door.

"Don't you try that reverse psychology on me," Spike said with a smirk as he closed the door.

"Come on," she whined, grabbing his free hand and dragging him down the hall. "You know I have these boots on tonight. Shouldn't piss me off...I could totally kick your ass."

"You promise?" Flashing his tongue as it slid slowly over his lips.

"Stop that little tongue thing," she said, giggling. She stopped before they reached the stairs and turned quickly, grabbing his head and kissing him hard. "You know what it does to me..." She laughed again and ran down the stairs.

"You're going to get it," Spike called, running after her.

"You promise?" Buffy retorted in her best sexy voice. She turned around quickly, smacking into someone. "Oh, god. I'm so sorry." She looked up and her eyes went wide. "Angel..."

"Buffy?"

"Uh, wig..."

"Hey, Buffy!"

She looked to her left and saw Cordelia walking towards her. "Wow, Pat Benatar, how are you tonight?"

"And you're...what are you? Hey, Spike," Cordelia said, warmly.

"Cordelia," Spike acknowledged. He looked at the tall, broad brunette who was staring at him. "Can I help you, mate?"

"Angel," he said, holding out his hand.

"Ah, Angel. Spike." Spike shook his hand and instinctively put his arm around Buffy's waist. Angel looked nonplussed by the movement but Spike had seen the jealous flicker pass through his eyes. He smiled smugly, holding Buffy tighter to him.

"Buffy, your lipstick is a little smudged...and so is yours, Spike," Cordy said, laughing.

"Hey, guys!" Willow said as the other two couples joined them. "Angel? Wow...how are you?"

"Fine, Willow and you?"

"Really great. This is my girlfriend, Tara. And this is the infamous Cordelia and Angel," Willow introduced.

"Nice to meet you," Cordy said, looking Tara up and down, still amazed that Willow had a girlfriend.

"Hi, you, too," Tara said, quietly.

Buffy glanced at Angel who mouthed "Girlfriend?" raising his eyebrows in surprise. Buffy smiled and shrugged. Spike pretended not to notice the little interaction and tried to believe that ignorance was bliss.

"You must by Anya," Cordy said.

"And you must be the girl who dated my Xander before me," Anya guessed, giving Cordelia the once over. "You can't have him back."

"I don't want him back," Cordy replied. "Although I forgot how well he wears a tux."

"Do we hug or-"

"No! You do not hug!" Anya exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Xander's arm, holding him in place.

"I guess not. It's good to see you in any event," Cordy told him with a smile.

"Oh, I got these for you guys. Since we're too old to go trick or treating but we're not too old for chocolate-y goodness," Buffy said, handing out the little plastic pumpkins to everyone. "I even have one for your friend."

"He's at Caritas, getting everything ready but he loves sweets so he'll thank you repeatedly," Cordy said, taking the little pumpkin.

"So what's with the 80's?" Xander asked Cordelia.

"Oh, it's a theme for the night."

"There's a theme?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Um, not in the strictest sense."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.

"You didn't tell them about Caritas?" Angel asked, amusement in his voice.

"Not entirely..." Cordy said, looking at the floor.

"Someone better tell me what's going on or they're getting a boot up the ass," Buffy threatened.

"It's a surprise. Don't worry, Buffy. You'll love it. It's really fun," Cordy said, trying to appease her friend's curiosity.

"And funny," Angel mumbled.

"You should know, Barry," Cordy quipped.

"Barry?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Don't ask," Angel told her.

"Oh, you'll find out, I'm sure," Cordy said with a wink.

----------------------------

Buffy walked into the bar and decided that there were just enough people there. She thanked Cordelia silently for not going overboard as she tended to do. She grasped onto Spike's hand as they made their way through the bar to the reserved table that Cordelia had set up for the group. Everyone took a seat at first to relax a bit before hitting the dance floor or bar. After about a half-hour of talking about everyone else at the party, the girls got up to dance, leaving the men at the table by themselves, each one of them feeling strange.

"So you're like a detective now," Xander stated, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, it's good. And you're doing what?" Angel asked.

"Construction. Mine's good, too."

"How about you?" Angel asked Spike.

"I have a job I hate. The American way, right?"

"How long have you been living here?"

"Almost two years," Spike answered, curtly. "I'm going to the bar. Want?"

"Beer," both men answered.

"That was all kinds of fun," Xander muttered under his breath and Angel shot him a look. "Just saying..."

"How long have he and Buffy been dating?"

"A few months. You want more information than that, I suggest you ask Buffy. I learned the hard way that talking about her when she's not present isn't the best of ideas," Xander said. Angel nodded in understanding and they both went back to watching the dance floor.

Spike waited impatiently for one of the bartenders to acknowledge his presence. He was aggravated that he was being blatantly ignored in favor of a girl dressed like a fairy. He felt a hand on his back and turned his head to see Buffy staring up at him, smile on her face.

"You've been over here for a few minutes."

"They're ignoring me. I'm not pretty enough, apparently," Spike explained, waving his hand in the direction of the fairy girl.

"Let me try," Buffy offered. She wiggled between him and the bar and stood on the footrest. She bent slightly over the bar and yelled, "Hey! Can we get some service, you think?" The two bartenders looked over at her, surprise on their faces. "Yeah, one of you, come over here and pour drinks. That'd be great!"

"Buffy..." Spike started.

She turned her head and said, "Shh, I'm handling it." She leaned over more and banged her hand on the bar a couple of times. "Girl with big boots here. Don't want to piss her off..."

"Buffy."

"What, Spike? I'm getting into character. This is fun."

"Luv, your ass is rubbing against me and it's taking a whole lot of willpower on my part not to-"

"Not to what?" she asked, turning her heard to smirk at him.

"What can I get for you?"

"Oh, um...something blue," Buffy answered, cluelessly.

"Blue?"

"Yeah, I like blue drinks but I can never remember the names."

"Blue Hawaiian, okay?" the bartender asked.

"Sure! Spike?"

"Three bottles of Heineken."

"That it?"

"Um, yeah," Buffy said, giving the bartender a big smile. "Thanks!"

"Have you been drinking already?" Spike asked.

"No, but a little flirty never hurt," she said as she turned her body slowly so her back was to the bar and she faced Spike. "Are you having any fun at all?"

"Had a real thrilling conversation with your ex."

"He's not really a talker." She put her hands on the sides of his face and pulled him to her, kissing him lightly. "Thanks for making the effort, though."

"The last thing I want is a pissy Buffy," Spike said with a smile.

"You're so smart, you know that?"

"That's seventeen dollars," the bartender said from behind Buffy.

"Can we start a tab?" Spike asked.

"Sure, just fill this out." He handed Spike a receipt and Spike filled out the appropriate information and gave it back to him.

Buffy picked at the safety pins on Spike's shirt while they waited for the bartender to finish. "I want you to wear this shirt all the time."

"Is it the shirt or the arms?"

"I love these arms but the shirt is just fun," she said as she moved a pin back and forth. "I could spend hours playing with it."

"I've spent hours playing with Xander's," Anya said, suddenly. Buffy and Spike turned to look at her, mouths open, eyes wide in shock. "You have to give it a break every once in a while but you really learn a lot when you concentrate on one specific thing."

"Anya, I was talking about Spike's safety pins."

"Oh, right...I'm talking about Xander's safety pins, too. Wink, wink," Anya said to Buffy confidentially. The blonde couple started laughing, much to Anya's dismay. "What's so funny?"

"You, luv. You're funny," Spike said, shaking his head. He picked up a bottle of beer and handed it to her. "This is for your guy. If you want a drink, order it. We started a tab. We can just divvy up at the end of the night."

"You're very generous," Anya said with a nod.

As they walked away, Spike said, "She keeps surprising, doesn't she?"

"The girl knows no boundaries."

As they arrived at the table, the curtains that cloaked the back of the room opened and a stage with TVs and a couple of microphones were revealed. A man dressed as a green demon, wearing a bright blue suit, stepped onto the stage.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked, taking a seat on Spike's lap.

"That's Lorne," Cordy told her. "He's going to start the festivities."

"What have we been doing for the last forty-five minutes if not being festive?" Willow asked.

"I told you there was a surprise. Now listen," Cordy answered.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Good evening, Lorne!" the crowd shouted. The group from Sunnydale all looked at each other, excitement and a little fright crossing all their faces.

"In case some of you might not know me, I'm your Host with the Most, Lorne, or tonight Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan. Don't look at me, I found it in a book. Don't I look fabulous?"

The crowd went crazy, Cordelia in particular, who was bouncing around in her seat like a kid who had too much sugar.

"You have no idea what you're in for," Angel said to Buffy. She looked at him quickly and looked back at Lorne. She felt Spike tighten his hold around her waist and she smiled at his jealousy, hoping that this was the worst it would get.

"As you know, when you came in, each one of you filled out little slips with your name, your date's name, if you were lucky enough to find one and what your costume was. You were led to believe that it was for the costume contest but no, my pretties. That is not entirely so. My lovely co-host, the formidable Miss Cordelia Chase," more applause erupted and Cordy stood, bowing, "and I knew what this party was really going to be." The crowd continued to hoot and holler as Lorne took a moment to take a sip from his drink.

Willow turned to Buffy and said, "Are they chanting something?"

"I think so..." Buffy said, willing her ears to listen closely. "I've got nothing."

"And if you're at Caritas, that only means one thing!" Lorne yelled.

"Are they saying karaoke?" Xander asked, eyes bulging out.

"No...no way!" Buffy exclaimed, shaking her head.

"That's right, people, it's karaoke time!" Everyone went crazy except for the six people who had never been there before. "So here in this box, we have everyone's names. I will be picking names and deciding who will be singing. If you haven't the slightest clue as to what you would like to sing, we have the fishbowl. In it contains varied musical styles from slow to rock to rap and so on. However, if you pick from the fishbowl, you must sing a song from the category. There is no chance of you getting your cute little ass out of it. Baby, come on up here and finish!"

Cordelia got up from her chair and ran up to the stage. "Hey, guys! When I first came in here and Lorne demanded that we all sing, I was mortified. I'm Cordelia Chase. I do not sing karaoke. Let me tell you, after you sing that first song, you don't want to leave. I mean all that attention and praise aimed at me? I loved it! So Lorne and I thought Halloween, karaoke, funny costumes...add it all up and it's bound to be fun for everyone. Now I know that some of you are shaking your heads, thinking that there is no way in hell you'll be getting up here." She turned to look at her table, she raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You're wrong. Every single person here will get up and sing. Whether it's by yourself, a duet or more, you're doing it. If you don't, we'll know and that's when the real embarrassment happens."

"What about the prizes?" someone in the back yelled.

"Oh, right. There are prizes for the costumes. That wasn't a lie. We figured this would be a really great way to see what everyone chose, as well. I'm not telling you what the prizes are so don't even ask. Lorne and I just wanted to give everyone a happy, hopefully hysterically funny, Halloween. I'm going to go sit and Lorne will start." She went to hand the microphone to Lorne and stopped, putting it back up to her mouth. "And if anyone who happens to be from Sunnydale is thinking of leaving, you are sadly, sadly mistaken."

------------------------------

"That was...really unfortunate for the rest of us," Lorne commented, rubbing his ear absently. "Round of applause for Vlad the Impaler, everyone. So next we have....Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins...there's a mouth full."

Anya shot up out of her chair and yelled, "That's me!" and waved her hands in the air. She ran on to the stage and smiled at the crowd.

"Well, Anya, what are you supposed to be?" Lorne asked.

"I am Xander's Bond Girl, Mons Gold."

"Mons...Gold?"

"Yes, it means that I have-"

"Doll, we all know what it means. Have a gander at the book and let us know what you will be gracing us with."

Anya scanned the book quickly and found her song. She looked at Xander and smiled. "This one," she said, pointing in the book.

"Well, this should be interesting, Monnie. Have you done this before?" Lorne asked.

"No, but I am very eager and very willing. I promise to try my hardest," Anya said, a huge smile plastered on her face.

"You certainly are at that. Miss Jenkins will be going the classic rock route with a little ditty from the Stones..."Let's Spend the Night Together"."

The music started and Anya grabbed the microphone in front her, taking it off the stand. She looked at the screen in front of her quickly, making sure she remembered the lyrics. She began to sing, swinging her hips around, arms in their air, and giving it her all. There were catcalls from the audience and encouraging shouts and Anya felt empowered. She made her way down the stairs to Xander. He looked at her, grinning from ear to ear as she sang to him. She straddled his chair, swayed her hips up and down, back and forth. Xander was enthralled watching her as she sat in his lap and continued to move and sing. The song ended and Anya slowly removed herself from him and ran back up on stage.

"Hot damn," Lorne greeted her. The crowd went wild and Anya curtseyed and waved. "I believe you are the first patron of Caritas who successfully sang, and sang well, I might add, and gave your honey a lap dance. Congratulations!"

"Thank you very much," Anya said and quickly got off the stage. She ran over to Xander, made a circle with one hand and put her index finger of her other through the circle a couple of times. Xander looked at her in surprise and then jumped out of his seat and led her away.

"Ew," Cordelia said.

"I don't even want to know where they're going," Willow commented.

"Since neither Cordy nor I are in the box, I'm calling Cordy up here to sing us a little something. She has been dying to do this since we started to plan and I can't begrudge her a thing." Cordy made her way up to the stage. "To be brutally honest, Cordelia is about as good as Vlad was-"

"Screw you, Lorne!"

"In your best dreams, honey pot. But Cordelia puts the effort in and makes it entertaining for all of us. So welcome Pat Benatar with her pop hit, 'Love is a Battlefield'."

"Oh no, we have to listen to Cordelia sing...again?" Willow lamented

"Weren't we through enough during that fateful rendition of 'The Greatest Love of All'?" Buffy asked, shuddering.

"Let's not bring up the talent show," Willow sighed.

"You were in a talent show, luv?"

"We were sort of forced into it by Snyder. You know how he is. I had only been there for a few months…so had Giles, actually. And he roped us all in. Cordy sang and our ears bled. Much as they are doing now."

"And what did you do?" Spike asked, not being able to stop himself from running his mouth lightly across her exposed shoulder. He smiled when he felt the goose-bumps form on her skin.

"Me, Willow and Xander performed a scene from Oedipus Rex. Let us never speak of it again," Buffy said, laughing.

"It wasn't so bad," Willow commented.

"Yeah, for you. You ran off the stage."

"Oh, yeah…" Willow remembered. "Well, look at Cordy go. She's even got the moves down and everything."

"She looks like she stepped right out of the video. All she needs to do now is find a whole bunch of hookers and throw a drink in a pimp's face and it will be complete," Buffy said, laughing. She turned her head and looked at Spike, who was still gently kissing her shoulder. "That tickles."

"That's the point."

"You better behave yourself. We're not Xander and Anya, you know."

"And if I don't behave myself?"

"I'm using these boots to kick someone's ass tonight…"

"That'll be the day, pet."

"Buffy Summers!"

"Huh?" Buffy asked, spinning her head around.

"You have to go up there," Tara said, smiling.

"Oh, hell no. I'm not going up there."

"Buffy, don't make me come down there and drag you up here," Cordelia said, a wicked smile on her face.

"I'm not nearly drunk enough for this shit," Buffy said. She held up her index finger to tell Cordy to wait a second and grabbed her drink, guzzling it down.

"Good luck," Spike whispered in her, licking it lightly along the shell.

"Shut up," she grumbled. She got up and made her way to the stage. She gave a short wave to the audience and turned to glare at Cordy. "You're dead."

"It was the luck of the draw, honey. Do you know what you're going to sing?" Cordy asked, sweetly.

"No! I don't want to sing anything. I'll sing the nothing song, sound good?"

"Want the fishbowl?"

"I could pick something horrible…"

"You have to pick something," Cordy said, holding the bowl out to her.

Buffy closed her eyes and put her in hand in the bowl, taking out a slip of paper. Cordelia grabbed it instantly and smiled as she read it.

"Buffy has picked a slow, love ballad which is sort of nice seeing as she's all in loooovvveee," Cordy teased.

"You are not my friend," Buffy snarled.

"Here's a list of the songs. You have one minute or I decide."

Buffy looked down the list and almost had a fit. There was no way she would sing "Wind Beneath My Wings" or "The Power of Love".

"Okay," she said to Cordelia.

"Oh," Cordy replied looking at her selection. "Well, Buffy picked a really great song and just from knowing her in the last five years, very fitting." Buffy stuck her middle finger up at her. "She's really getting into the punk rock thing, apparently. This one is going out to Spike."

"Shut it, Cordelia," Buffy said into the other microphone. She heard the crowd laugh and applaud and she felt compelled to raise her hands in victory. _ Well, at least that drink is finally kicking in._

"Jeez, sorry…testy Buffy tonight," Cordy said into the mic. She leaned over and whispered to Buffy, "I mean this, good luck. It's fun, trust me. And sorry about the Spike comment." She turned back to the crowd and said, "A song all about love and hope called 'This Year's Love'. Everyone get out your lighters."

"But don't burn the place down," Lorne yelled from his chair on stage.

Buffy looked out over the crowd as Cordy cued the song up. The lights were too bright for her eyes so she closed them and tried to think outside of where she was. It wasn't helping that people were yelling and clapping, despite the fact that she hadn't even begun. _ They won't be cheering in a minute. Okay, so you're in the shower, singing away…Uh, no because then I'd be naked. Argh. You're in your bedroom, lights are off, listening to the music crank out of the stereo speakers and you're singing along…much better. Spike should be there…let's take that shirt off and bring him over to the bed. Singing away…not noticing the crowd as Spike slowly rubs…Oh! That's what Anya's costume means-_

"Buffy?" Cordy asked, interrupting her thoughts. "You're up."

She kept her eyes closed and listened to the beginning chords start. She started to feel a bit more at ease, but the cheering was really bothering her. She couldn't concentrate, couldn't remember the lyrics on her own and she refused to open her eyes to read the lyrics and see everyone watching her.

"Hey, please shut up," she said into the mic. Many people laughed, she heard some name calling but she didn't care. They had quieted down and when she heard David Gray start to sing, she followed right along with him.

_This years love had better last  
Heaven knows it's high time  
And I've been waiting on my own too long  
But when you hold me like you do  
It feels so right  
I start to forget  
How my heart gets torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Feeling like you can't go on  
Turning circles when time again  
It cuts like a knife oh yeah  
If you love me got to know for sure  
Cos it takes something more this time  
Than sweet sweet lies  
Before I open up my arms and fall  
Losing all control  
Every dream inside my soul  
And when you kiss me  
On that midnight street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singing ain't this life so sweet  
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last   
So whose to worry  
If our hearts get torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Don't you know this life goes on  
And won't you kiss me  
On that midnight street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singing ain't this life so sweet   
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last_

The song came to an end and the silence in the room was deafening. Buffy could feel herself begin to feel ill at the discomfort but suddenly the room went wild. She slowly opened her eyes, a smile forming on her lips. She felt Cordelia's arms go around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She heard people yelling "Great job", "Sing it, sister!" and "Good luck, Buffy!" and she felt her eyes start to well up with tears. She put her face on Cordy's shoulder, looking away from the crowd as she willed herself to calm down.

"You alright?" she heard Cordelia ask over the roar of the crowd.

"Yeah…that was just…"

"Liberating, right?"

"Yeah," Buffy said, smiling. She pulled away from Cordy and faced the crowd, nodding her head in thanks.

"I'm weeping like a little schoolgirl," Lorne said into the mic and that set off another cheer. "I say screw the box and we call her lover boy up here." Buffy started to walk off the stage when Lorne grabbed her arm. "Nope, you stay here. Sit on the stool."

"But I sang my song. I…I don't want to sit up here anymore," Buffy argued.

"Too bad, sugar. My bar, my karaoke, my party, my rules." He turned to look the crowd over. "So, where is he? I know Cordelia knows you and I am not above sending her down there to get you up on this stage."

Spike slowly made his way through the crowd, his mind still reeling from the song Buffy chose. All he wanted to do was grab her and hold onto her, reassure her that it would last. He wanted to tell her it was silly to think otherwise. He wasn't like the rest of them. He was the long-haul guy and his only big plan in life was to spend his with her. He reached the stage and smiled at the crowd. He looked over at Buffy, who was staring diligently at the floor and he knew she was embarrassed. He only wished that she wasn't.

"This him?" Lorne asked Cordelia and she nodded. "Buffy has apparently landed herself a nice chunk of a man. What's your name, handsome?"

"Spike."

"How I would love to know where that came from," Lorne said, laughing.

"I bet," Spike retorted.

"We're going to confer for a moment and we'll be right back. Talk amongst yourselves about how gorgeous this couple's children would be and try not to let the envy take you over."

Spike looked at Buffy again, but she was talking to Cordelia. He sighed heavily, stuck his hands in his pockets and began to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Okay, sweet stuff, pick something," Lorne said, handing him the book.

"Don't need the book."

"A man who knows what he likes. We like that around here," Lorne told him with a wink. "What I want you to do is sing it right to her. Do you have any problems with that?"

"She probably will," Spike answered quietly.

"She's a little red in the face. She'll get over it. Please tell me you can sing because otherwise, it's just going to be embarrassing for everyone."

"I can carry a tune," Spike said, smugly.

"Thank god. Your girlfriend really poured herself into that little performance. Here's to hoping that you follow suit," Lorne said before turning back to the crowd. "It seems Billy Idol here knows exactly what he wants to sing. Which would be what exactly?" Spike whispered in his ear. "Ah, not bucking that grand British tradition…he's picked The Beatles. Here's your microphone, there's your girl and here's your song." Lorne pressed a few buttons on the machine and the music started to play.

Spike walked over to Buffy and got down on his knees in front of her, his back to the crowd. He placed a hand on her knee and she looked down at him, startled. He gave her a small smile before he began to sing.

_Something in the way she moves  
Attracts me like no other lover  
Something in the way she woos me   
I don't want to leave her now  
You know I believe her now   
Somewhere in her smile she knows  
That I don't need no other lover  
Something in her style that shows me   
Don't want to leave her now  
You know I believe her now   
You're asking me will my love grow  
I don't know, I don't know  
You stick around now it may show  
I don't know, I don't know   
Something in the way she knows  
And all I have to do is think of her  
Something in the things she shows me   
Don't want to leave her now  
You know I believe her now_

Spike stood slowly when the song ended, his eyes never leaving Buffy's. The crowd was cheering and Buffy began to wonder if they just cheered for every single person that got up there because they never shut up when she wanted them to. She smiled slightly and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. His hand came to her face and his thumb wiped away a single tear that had come loose from her eye.

"Are these two too perfect or what?" they heard Lorne say and they both turned to glare at him. "This is love, kiddies. Take a good look."

Spike twisted his hand a bit so Buffy's was now enveloped by his. He tightened his hold and pulled her gently off the stool. He moved towards the edge of the stage, gave the crowd a wave and descended. He led her to the back of the bar, pressing her body against the wall. His hands went to both sides of her face and he ran his thumbs softly across her mouth. He was surprised to feel that her bottom lip was shaking a bit, as if she were about to cry but trying not to. He leaned down, giving her a soft kiss. He took his mouth away but Buffy put her hand on the back of his head and pushed him back down to her mouth. Her tongue swiped over his top lip and he opened his mouth slowly, touching her tongue with his. His hands moved up her hips and under her shirt, gently kneading the skin as he went. She moaned softly when she felt one his palm's brush over her breast. Her free hand wrapped around his waist and stopped at the small of his back. She pushed him closer to her, feeling him through his clothes. _Is that a banana in your pocket..._ and she smiled into the kiss.

"Not only do we get two great songs, but we also get a free show!"

They stopped kissing and looked at each other, surprise passing over their features. Buffy hadn't noticed just how tightly she was pressed up against the wall when they had been kissing. She suddenly began to hyperventilate. She knew it was from the embarrassment of the situation, as well as the kissing. She began gasping for breath and Spike pulled his body away, giving her room to breath. He moved his hands out from under her shirt and brought them back to her face. He looked at her questioningly and she took a few deep breaths before nodding that she was okay. They turned slowly to face the crowd of people and they both flipped them off. The crowd began to laugh and holler, a few people returned the gesture. Buffy smiled sweetly before grabbing Spike by his shirt and yanking him towards her mouth. She kissed him quickly, but thoroughly before letting him go.

"Let's get another drink," she said, grabbing his hand and walking them over to the bar.

---------------------------------------------

"Okay, Miss Tara, you're up," Lorne said, before taking his seat.

Tara giggled as "You Make Me Feel like a Natural Woman" began to play and she turned her body towards their table. She held Willow's gaze the entire time she sang and when it was over, she brought her fingers to her mouth and blew Will a kiss.

"You people from Sunnydale should all start a band or something. Except maybe Cordelia and that boy, Xander," Lorne said, as he shook her hand. Tara looked at him strangely when he didn't let it go. "Seeing as the other serenade worked so well for the punked duo who can not keep their hands off each other since…" He looked over at Buffy and Spike, who stopped kissing momentarily to give him a shy smile. "Why don't we have your girlfriend come up here? You will give most of the guys here masturbation material for weeks."

Tara scrunched up her face in disgust. "No," she said, curtly and wrenched her hand from Lorne's. She whacked the microphone into his chest and it reverberated. He quickly had to catch it when she let go of it. He put both mikes down and held is hand up to the crowd and jogged over to Tara before she went down the stairs.

"Doll, I'm sorry. Too many Sea Breezes for this demon. I should never have said that," Lorne apologized. "I think it'd be great to have you two up here in any capacity."

Tara just looked at him with a blank expression on her face. Finally, she looked towards a frightened Willow and waved her hand for her to come up. Willow was about to protest but then stopped; remembering that Cordy had said not singing would be even more embarrassing.

"Hi," she said as cheerfully as she could when she reached the two. "I can't sing. I mean Cordy and Vlad can warble it out way better than me."

"How about a duet then?" Lorne asked hopefully.

The two women looked at each and Tara shrugged, leaving the answer up to Willow. "What do you think, baby? I mean, I'll sing if I can sing with you. I don't want to inflict the populace with my amazing vocal work."

"Sure, why not," Tara agreed, half-heartedly. "I'm not entirely comfortable with this after what he said, though."

"I was joking…sort of. You never know with these people. I mean, you could probably give the girl's some material as well," Lorne tried to cover, only to make it worse.

"Tara, I think we should go for it. Just make a big joke out of it. I remember this Bob Dylan song my dad used to play all the time when he was trying to seduce my mom but of course, that barely ever worked because she's so busy discussing the Mr. Roger's Show or going to conf-"

"Sweetie, you're over explaining again," Tara told her, a soft smile on her lips.

"Oh, sorry. Do you have Dylan?"

"Honey, we have everything under the sun," Lorne said, smiling widely.

"What song is it?" Tara asked, a bit of hesitation in her voice.

"Lay Lady Lay," Willow told her, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

"Oh, brother," Tara muttered.

"How wonderful," Lorne said at the same time. "I'll get that all set up for you." He walked back over to the center of the stage.

"You sure about this? I mean, we can still make a run for it," Willow said.

Tara leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "I'm sure. You'll just have to make up for it later."

"See, that I can do!"

"Oh, I know, honey. I know," Tara smiled, taking Willow's hand and leading her to Lorne.

"The duet is a go and I've promised the girl's that no lesbian catcalls would be made. So don't do it. Just sit back and enjoy…quietly," Lorne warned them before turning to Willow and Tara.

They each grabbed a microphone and smiled at one another as the song started. They both sang in earnest and made everyone laugh when they changed "stay with your man a while" to "stay with your woman a while". When the song ended, Tara grabbed Willow's hand and lifted their hands in the air and bowed. They quickly left the stage and arrived back at the table, only to find all their friends grinning at them.

"What?" Willow whined.

"That was very...interesting," Xander told them, smiling.

"Why didn't you sing that song, Xander?" Anya said, turning to him. "I went up their and sang you a sexy song and I get nothing in return! Instead you sing some hidden meaning song to Buffy."

"Anya, a bit of advice. When it comes to his friendship with Buffy, don't mention it," Cordelia warned.

"But I'm your girlfriend!"

"Anya," Xander began.

"No, I don't want to hear it. Let Buffy give you the tingle-y feeling!" She got up from her seat and stalked angrily across the room.

"Not much has changed," Cordy quipped.

"You know what, Cor? Don't try to help anymore," Xander said, getting out of his seat to find Anya.

"What was that song about anyway?" Angel asked Buffy.

"Uh...I'm not sure," Buffy lied. She knew exactly what the meaning of it was. Xander had known that Angel was leaving that first time and he was supposed to tell Buffy. Instead, he just let her believe that Angel had left without a care in the world. When she found out the truth, it had hurt and fractured their friendship a bit. Seeing the guilt that Xander still felt over it, she decided that enough time had gone by. If she could forgive Angel after everything, she certainly could forgive Xander for lying to her over something that wasn't even in her life anymore.

"Travis is a great band," Spike said just to say something. He was looking at Buffy intently and she looked at him quickly, only to look away a moment later. He squeezed her waist in an effort to comfort her and he felt her relax a little.

"But it doesn't rain on Xander anymore. He has Anya now and as long as he doesn't go off and sleep with a slut, everything should be fine," Cordelia said, bitterly.

"No, but he did lie when he was seventeen," Willow pointed out and quickly clapped her hand over her mouth. She looked at Buffy, seeing that her eyes were as wide as she thought her eyes were. "Oh, Buffy-"

"No worries, Will," Buffy said, quickly with a false smile. "It's all of the past."

------------------

No one asked how Xander got Anya to come back to the table. They were just happy that the bickering had stopped and they were back to acting the way they always did. The party started to clear out, much to the relief of Buffy and Spike. They had barely spent two minutes apart since their little performance and all their friends were all too aware that they wanted to leave. Anya kept looking at them knowingly, occasionally giving Buffy a thumbs up when Spike wasn't looking.

Spike had gone up to the bar to get the tab, leaving Buffy alone. Cordelia grabbed her hand and nudged her toward the stage. Buffy shook head furiously but Cordy only smiled, as she grabbed Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya on her way.

"No one's here except us and a few of Lorne's friends," she said, jerking her thumb in the direction of Lorne and his cohorts. "One last song? Granted, I'm a little tipsy right now and tonight, I'm loving you all, even those I just met. So we're singing." She hit a few buttons and "You've Got a Friend" started. Cordy walked back to the group and looped her arms through Buffy and Willow's and swayed back and forth, singing. Her attitude and enthusiasm was contagious and soon everyone on stage followed suit, singing their little hearts out, laughing the whole time.

"Here."

Spike turned to see Angel standing there with his credit card. "What's that for?"

"Paying the tab."

"We don't need-"

"I want to plus I have some drinks on there-"

"You were drinking?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"Coke...so Buffy told you about that?" Angel asked, casting his eyes down.

"Yeah, she did."

Angel grabbed the tab from Spike's hand and placed it, along with his credit card, back on the bar for the bartender to take. They stood there awkwardly and looked up to the stage when they heard the group singing. Both of them smiled and looked at each other, their smiles disappearing immediately. Both were trying too hard to pretend to hate the other and it was annoying them both.

"Look, I know you probably hate me after what Buffy told you. I wouldn't blame you but I just want to say that it wasn't who I am-"

"She told me that. Honestly, I'm trying not to give you any thought at all," Spike said, puffing up just a bit.

"Alright, understandable." Angel paused, taking a deep breath. "So she's happy, right?"

"I like to think so," Spike told him, not looking away from his eyes.

"Good, I'm glad." A silent truce was made with a nod of their heads.

"Sir?" the bartender asked, holding out the slip for Angel to sign.

Spike looked back at the stage and couldn't help but smile at his girlfriend's evident happiness. When the song ended, there were scattered applause from the party-goers that were still there. He watched her talk to Willow, Cordelia and Tara, all three of them standing in front of the karaoke machine, looking at the screen.

"So you say you hate your job. What are you doing?" Angel asked.

"Helping Xander out. Construction's not exactly my thing," Spike told him, turning to look at him.

"I've been looking to expand my agency. Would you be interested?"

"You're offering me a job?" Spike asked incredulously.

"I'm just trying to help," Angel tried to explain.

"You just met me and you're offering me a job. What are you up to?"

"Nothing. Look, I want Buffy to be happy. It's why I left-"

"She told me that, too," Spike interrupted.

"And so, I'm thinking if you're happy, it would make Buffy happy. The whole cause and effect theory."

"This is none of your business, but Buffy is what makes me happy not some bleeding job."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes. I thought that if you had a job you might enjoy..." Angel trailed off, realizing that no explanation would be good enough at this point.

"What is it you do exactly?" Spike asked, curiosity and the hatred for his current job making him do so.

"We're a detective agency. Helping the hopeless. We get all kinds of cases but nothing tawdry. I don't like the divorce or philandering cases. There's plenty of people out there who will chase a cheating husband. It's not the reason why I started it. What do you think?"

"I think you're insane," Spike said, quickly. "Let me think about it."

"Sure. Take as much time as you need." He pulled out a business card and handed it to Spike. "Call that number when you're ready. Cordy will most likely answer if she's not busy filing her nails."

Spike smiled despite his efforts not to. He looked at the card and furrowed his brow. "Is this a butterfly?"

"No, it's an angel. You know Angel," he pointed to himself, "and angel..." He pointed to the card.

"Still looks like a butterfly, mate. Sorry."

"Tonight you're mine completely. You give your love so sweetly."

Spike looked over at the stage to find Buffy standing there, the others milling around. She was looking right at him and singing again. He glanced over at Angel and couldn't begin to figure out what was going on in his head. _He's like a stonewall._ He looked back to Buffy, taking a few steps away from the bar, going closer to the stage, his eyes never leaving hers as she sang.

_Tonight the light of love is in your eyes,  
But will you love me tomorrow?   
Is this a lasting treasure  
Or just a moment's pleasure?  
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?  
Will you still love me tomorrow?   
Tonight with words unspoken  
You say that I'm the only one,  
But will my heart be broken  
When the night meets the morning sun.   
I'd like to know that your love  
Is love I can be sure of.  
So tell me now and I won't ask again.  
Will you still love-_

Buffy had closed her eyes halfway through the song, not able to handle Spike's penetrating gaze. Before Buffy had the chance to finish the last stanza, she felt Spike grab her by her upper arms and brought her to his mouth. She felt dizzy from the contact and knew it wasn't the remaining alcohol buzzing around in her system. She opened her mouth willingly, not caring that she was on stage for the rest of the bar to see. She wriggled her arms from Spike's grasp, dropping the microphone on the floor and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him in deeper. She heard Lorne yell something about the equipment being expensive and not to throw it around. But she had heard him laughing and didn't want to stop kissing Spike to apologize. He broke away but remained close enough that she could feel his breath on her face.

"We're leaving," Spike said, his voice low.

-----------------------------------

"Spiikkke..."

"I'm trying, luv. It's not as easy as it looks, you know. And you keep distracting me."

Buffy stopped kissing his neck and smiled, "You can't do two things at once?" He looked at her, eyes narrowed. "Ooh, the Big Bad look. I'm in trouble now." She ran her tongue up his neck and giggled when he made a growling noise. "Just stick it in it, twist and turn."

"You make it sound so easy and yet the blasted thing just...won't...work," he ground out.

"Do you want me to get off-"

"There's a loaded question."

"I wasn't finished...you so you can do this properly?"

"If I can't do this with you wrapped around my waist, I'm not the man I thought I was," he told her with a chuckle. "Sodding keys. Whatever happened to those new age key cards?"

Buffy's legs released their hold from Spike's waist and she landed on her feet, holding her hand out to him. "Give it me."

"That is the plan..."

"The key, you freak," she said, with a roll of her eyes. He handed it to her. "I'd show you how it's supposed to be done, but I don't think I could hold you up." She turned her back to him and put the key in the door. She opened it and turned to look at him, a smirk on her lips. "Ha!" She ran into the room, jumped on the bed and quickly landed on the other side. He strolled in casually, watching her and stood opposite her. They looked at each other, smiles disappearing. Buffy began to fidget as neither one made a move towards the other.

"I'll, uh...be right back," Buffy said, quickly before hurrying past him into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and made a face. "You're being silly. You were all yay sex and now you're acting like a blushing virgin. Get over it." She rolled her eyes out of habit and sighed. "Just go out there and show him how much you love him. Except you've never said that to each other and now with the about-to-have sex thing, you're jumping right back into it without knowing...but you do know. No one has ever made it so perfectly clear without ever saying it." She smiled and brought her hands to her head. She removed the bobby pins that were holding her wig in place and took her hair out of the loose bun it had been in. She shook her head and grimaced. "Wow, that's attractive." She looked around for her bag and remembered she hadn't brought it in with her. "Damn, I need a brush. And I need to stop talking to myself in the mirror."

She slowly opened the door to find Spike sitting on the bed, looking at the floor. He looked up at her instantly and he smiled.

"Hi, honey," Buffy said as she grabbed a handful of her hair, "I'm home."

"Buffy..." Spike began.

She walked over to him and stood between his legs. "I'm going to take a shower." He nodded, a frown on his face. She walked over to her bag, picked it up and walked back to the bathroom. She stood in the doorway and turned to look at him. "You coming?"

Buffy was in the bathroom by the time the question registered with Spike. A small smile drifted to his mouth and he walked over to the partially open the door. He knocked lightly and he heard her giggle softly as she told him to come in. He was surprised and a bit disappointed that she was still dressed. She put her things on the ledge of the shower and turned the water on.

"Hi," she said shyly, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Is that too hot?"

Spike stuck his hand under the water and shook his head. "You sure you want me to be in here?"

"We're not having sex," she said quickly. He looked at her and she saw the saddened expression on his face. She placed her hand along his jaw line and smiled. "In the shower. I just feel icky and I think I've been too lucky tonight with that hair of yours. I like my eyes."

He laughed softly and watched her hands go to the hem of his shirt. She lifted it up and slowly removed it from his body. She ran her hands down his chest, loving the feel of his skin under her hands.

"This I like..." she said, smirking. He tried to return it but he was too busy and too distracted with watching her hands go to his belt. She undid it and pulled it dramatically, laughing at her own gesture. She was glad that he finally broke out of his trance and smiled.

"Pet, the water will probably get cold..."

"Hey, first time seeing each other. I'm taking my time...besides, cold shower, probably not so bad at this point." She unbuttoned his pants and went to undo the zipper when his hands stopped her.

"You should probably know that there's nothing under there except for me."

"Oh," she breathed out, more wanton that she had meant to be and she felt her skin flush in equal parts desire and embarrassment. She took her hands away and brought them to her shirt and lifted it over her head. She heard Spike sigh before she had it off and she smiled inside the shirt. Once discarded, her hands went under her skirt, pulled down her fishnets and threw them in the trash.

"You're not keeping those?"

"Uh, no. They're ripped to shreds and Halloween has been officially over for two hours."

"But you could always wear them again..." he trailed off as her skirt dropped to the floor. "Red."

"Yup." His hand reached out towards her breast and she swatted his hand away and shook her head. "All in due time."

"Death of me," he muttered. She reached her hands around her back to undo the latch when he said, "Turn. Let me." She obeyed his request and the instant his fingers touched her skin, she shivered. He undid the hooks and slowly brought the straps down her shoulders. Buffy uncrossed her arms and let the bra fall to the floor. She went to turn back around but he put his hands on her hips, stopping her. He hooked his thumb under the material of her underwear and pushed it down her legs. He tried not to think about the small mole he saw on her cheek but his eyes kept going back to it. "Lift," he whispered, his voice not able to get any louder. She lifted one foot then the other and Spike put his hands back to her waist, turning her slowly. His head was level to her stomach and he placed soft kisses along it, making her twitch and giggle. "Why don't you get in there?"

She nodded slowly, her brain not fully comprehending what he said at first. Buffy went into the shower and sighed as her body hit the still very warm water. _Thank god for hotels and their constant supply of hot water._ She heard his jeans rustling in the background and she smiled. She grabbed her shampoo and lathered it into her hair.

"Something smells good." She jumped a bit, instantly feeling ridiculous for doing so. It wasn't like she didn't know he was there with her. With her eyes closed, she didn't exactly know what Spike was doing but she had the distinct feeling that he was watching her. "Do you mind if I...?"

"No, help yourself." She moved out from under the water and felt his hands on her waist, guiding her past him. "Probably would help if I opened my eyes."

"But then there could be soap issues."

"Exactly," she agreed. _How the hell am I carrying on a normal conversation? We're showering together, I should be freaking out._ "Are you done? I need to rinse..."

They repeated their movements from before and she washed the soap out of her hair. She finally opened her eyes and looked at him. He had his eyes closed as he scrubbed the gel out of his hair. She took the opportunity to give him the once over. She decided that a wet Spike was a good Spike. She continued her perusal of his body, glancing up quickly to make sure his eyes were still closed.

"Wow," she breathed out.

He opened an eye and saw her looking at him and he smirked. "See something interesting?"

"Uh, what?" Buffy asked, her eyes darting up to look at him. "I wasn't...I mean, I didn't-"

"Do you think I wasn't looking at you before?"

"Oh, I, uh, didn't think about it," Buffy lied. She grabbed her conditioner and squeezed a generous amount into her hands. "Want to rinse?" They moved around each other yet again but this time, Spike moved closer to her than he had before and she felt his erection brush across her stomach. She blushed for what felt like the hundredth time since they had come into the bathroom. She handed him the conditioner after he was done washing the shampoo out and he looked at her funny. "What?"

"Nothing..."

"Tell me."

"Got hit by a sudden case of domesticity."

"Oh." She bit her lip in nervousness and quickly gestured for them to switch positions again.

"Oh is all you have to say?" Spike asked.

"Right now? Yeah..." She ducked her head under the water and she thought he was still talking to her but she didn't want to talk about anything domestic-like. She felt him tug on her hand and she took her head out from under the water, breathing in deeply.

"Trying to drown yourself, kitten?"

"No...I have long hair. Lots of rinsing needs to be done." She moved towards the wall of the shower and he passed by her, not touching her at all this time. She sighed. _I've blown it. Me and my stupid issues blew it. Shower, sex, love songs...all okay. Say domesticity and I freak. Nice going, Buffy. High marks._

She grabbed the container of body wash and put some of it on the loofah. She squished it together, making it sudsy and started to wash. She bent down to her legs and glanced up at Spike through her lashes. He was watching her intently, like he was memorizing every movement she made. She stood back up and moved towards him. When he started to go around her, she put her hand on his chest and asked, "Do you want to wash?"

"Sure." He reached out for the sponge, but she jerked her arm back and pushed him against the shower wall. She added more soap and brought it to his chest, slowly working the sponge around. He was having trouble breathing. This was all too much. All this time of waiting just for her, never mind a night like this and he didn't think he could take much more. When her hand moved down to his hips and her forearm brushed against him, he started to shake his head. "Too much," he moaned.

"What?" she asked, looking at him. "Spike, are you okay?" She had stopped washing him the instant she saw the look on his face. "Did...did I do something wrong?"

"No! Oh, god, no, luv. I didn't mean for it seem like that."

"Okay, then if I'm not doing something wrong," she stood up on the balls of her feet, pressing herself against him, "then why do you look like you're about to be ill?" She kissed him gently on the mouth, moved down to his chin and then his neck. Her hand with the loofah started washing his arm, her other hand slid down his chest to his stomach. "Should I stop?"

"No," he whispered. His breath caught in his throat as she wrapped her hand around him and began to slowly stroke him. The soap it that much smoother and he didn't think this was going to end well. "Yes, I mean yes. Stop. Buffy...please..."

"Really?" She tightened her grip just a bit and bit back her own sounds when she looked at his face, his eyes closed, his muscles in his jaw flickering about.

"Christ..." he breathed out. "Pet, you have to-"

"Come for me, Spike," she murmured into his ear. He wrapped his arm around her waist, lifting her just a bit, placing his leg in between her own. He moved his head to the side and captured her lips, his tongue plunging into her mouth. She quickly fell into the kiss, almost forgetting what she had been doing at the sensations that both his mouth and leg were giving her. She started to move her hand again, faster this time and Spike moaned into her mouth. She smiled at the sound and knew that she wanted to hear him sound like that for the rest of her life. She moved her mouth away, gulping in air. She looked at him, expecting to see his eyes closed but they were staring right back at her. "Please, Spike..."

He pressed her tighter to him, so tight she barely could maneuver her hand. He caught her mouth again, biting at her lip. "Buffy..." he breathed out. She felt that wonderful tingling sensation in her lower belly as he said her name with such passion. He threw his head back, not caring that he hit it fairly hard on the wall. She smiled against his neck when she felt him jerk in her hand, stroking him until he was soft. They were both breathing heavily, satisfied expressions on both their faces. Buffy put her hand under the water and rinsed it off. She bent down, picked up the sponge from the shower floor and rewashed him. "Tickles..." he mumbled. She couldn't help but smile at how boyish he looked and sounded just then.

"See, that wasn't so ha-" Spike lazily opened his eyes and quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'm not going to finish that misguided pun." She unlatched herself from him and shut the water off. "I couldn't get any cleaner if I tried."

She opened the shower curtain and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her torso. She grabbed another towel and looked at Spike, placing her hand on her hip.

"Are you ever getting out of there?" she asked, smiling. _I did that to him. I've made him catatonic. Woo-hoo for me!_

"I'm tired now," he told her, his eyes still closed.

"But there's a big comfortable bed in there that has to be better than sleeping in the shower."

"Oh, no...get you in the shower, you turn into a vixen. I can't even imagine what you're going to do to me in a bed," he said, smirking.

"Yeah, but think of what you could do to me in that bed..."

At that, his eyes flew open and his head shot up, a wicked twinkle in his eye. "That's a very good point." She giggled as he stepped out the shower and his arms encircled her, lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he placed her on the counter. She unfolded the towel that she had grabbed for him and placed it around his shoulders, moving it back and forth.

"Pretty shoddy drying job you're giving me."

"I wasted all my energy giving you a nicer other kind of job."

"Saucy..." He took the towel and quickly dried himself off and put it around his waist. He lifted her from the counter and she once again wrapped herself around him. "Good thing this door isn't closed." They had a laugh at that but Buffy stopped once she felt Spike's leg come to a stop at the bed. He placed her down and she put her legs on either side of his body. His hand went to her towel and he undid it, letting it fall off her. "You glow..." 

She blushed as his eyes roamed over her naked body. "We were just in the shower for like forty-five minutes...bound to happen," she said, hoping to lighten the mood just a little. Now she knew what he had meant in the shower. It was all too much. However, she wouldn't want to have this any other way. 

His fingers lightly trailed down her neck, along her collarbone and down her arms. He loved that the slightest touch made her skin raise up. Her hand went to his towel to remove it but he stopped her. "It's your turn." 

"But naked is good," she said, pouting. She couldn't believe some of things that she had said thus far. She had never been this way. Not with any of the others and it made her feel that what she and Spike had was that much more special. Through her nervousness and hesitation about sleeping with him, when the time came, he had made her feel so completely comfortable in her own skin that she didn't think there was nothing that she couldn't say or do. It was a very freeing feeling. 

"Can't argue that." Her hand continued her actions and soon enough he was standing between her legs as naked as she was. "Even playing field, then." 

"Only way to play." She ran her fingernails lightly down his thighs, kissing his stomach as she did so. 

"Nah-uh, pet. You time and you're driving me crazy." 

"Obviously," she quipped as she looked down. He smiled and shrugged. Spike put his hands on her shoulders and gently moved her down to the bed, hovering above her. He began to kiss her neck, working his way down to her breasts. 

"Oh..." Buffy moaned as Spike's lips reached her nipple. His free hand came up her body to gently knead the other. She gasped in a breath when she felt him lightly bite her. "Mmm...a little harder is okay," she whispered. 

"Yeah, that it's, luv. Tell me what you like," he murmured against her skin. Her hands went to his hair and she pushed him down her body. He lifted his head, eyebrow raised in amusement. "You want me down here?" 

"Mmm-hmm." 

"I don't understand that," he said as he kissed her stomach at each word. Her whole body felt hot and not just from the things Spike was doing to her. "Don't be embarrassed, please...not with me. Tell me." 

She rolled her eyes back, looking behind her, finding something on the wall to concentrate on. She felt like she could tell him, sure, but she couldn't look at him and tell him. That was way beyond anything she was ready for. She felt him crawl back up her body. _Like a panther_. He rested his body delicately along hers and one hand touched her chin, moving her head down so she would look at him. 

"We can still stop," he offered. _Please don't say yes. Please don't say yes._

"We are not stopping but I can't be so free with the directions when I'm not used to it yet. You have to give me time to get there, okay?" she asked, averting her eyes. 

"Buffy, look at me," and she did, "You have all the power here. You do whatever you're comfortable with. I didn't mean-" 

"I know," she interrupted. She rested her hand in his hair, softly brushing his wet curls back. "You are so lovely. Do you know that?" 

"Lovely? That doesn't sound very manly." 

"It's the best kind of manly." She leaned up and kissed him. She looked at him shyly and bit her lip. "Will you kiss me?" 

"Always." 

She took his hand and led it down her body. "Here?" 

"Always," he smirked before making his way back down. 

----------------------------------- 

"You sure?" 

"Spike, I swear to god, if you don't stop asking that every time you go to do something to me, I'm just going to say no." 

"I won't say another word about it," Spike said quickly. 

"Good, now come here," she demanded as she grabbed his arm and pulled him over to her. 

"Bossy little chit tonight," he muttered, smiling as he nestled between her legs. They both reached out to grab each other, their lips coming together hungrily. Buffy lifted her hips, rubbing against him, which caused him to moan. "Are you-" 

"Spike..." Buffy warned. 

"Ready?" 

"Oh, that's tricky." Her hands reached down and cupped his ass, pushing him towards her. Spike didn't need any more of an answer and positioned himself at her entrance. He slowly entered her, making this first time last. Both were grateful for it but both were thinking they had gone too slow already. 

"Okay?" he asked. 

"So much better than okay," she said softly. She swiveled her hips a bit and Spike groaned loudly. "You okay?" 

He chuckled into her neck and she shivered as his hot breath hit her skin. They began to move together, slowly at first, still establishing their rhythm. She arched her hips again, forcing him deeper and they both sighed. Her legs wrapped around his waist and locked at the ankles. She put them behind his upper thighs, allowing her to be able to push when she wanted, which she soon realized Spike liked a lot. 

They looked at each other, both panting out shallow breath. "Perfect," they both said at the same time. They're lips met on instinct, tongues slowly caressing each other. Their bodies started to move in time with their mouths, speeding up more at each kiss. 

"Look at me, luv." Buffy shook her head at first but slowly opened her eyes. The complete and utter adoration she found there made her fall into that great orgasmic abyss. He watched her every expression, savoring it, remembering it. He gently kissed her face as she continued to moan below him. 

"Oh...god," Buffy breathed out, her body shaking beneath his. She opened her eyes, a smile slowly forming on her lips. She had never felt so completely satisfied in her entire life. The smile is what did it for Spike and he soon followed, which only made Buffy feel warm all over. He kissed her again, so slow it was like torture but neither being able to go any faster and not wanting to. They both were enjoying this special kind of torture. He slowly removed himself from her body and rolled onto his side of the bed. 

"Is there a bin over there?" he asked. 

"Um, yeah..." She bent over the bed and grabbed the little plastic bucket. "Here you go." 

"Thanks, pet." She knew he was removing the condom and she wondered if she should have told him that she'd been on the pill for three years now. She decided that despite the pre and post condom discomfort, it was worth it in the long run. He turned back to her, moving his arm across her stomach and latching on to her waist, dragging her over to him. She laughed softly and he nuzzled his head into her shoulder. His hand moved up to her breast and he slowly ran his hand up and down. 

After a few minutes of relaxation and comfortable silence, Buffy asked, "Spike?" 

He looked up at her. "Yeah?" 

"What are you doing?" 

"Nothing...just touching," he said, a hint of shyness in his voice. 

"It's just a nipple, you know. It's no big thing. You're looking at it like it's the Holy Grail." 

"It's my Holy Grail," he said as he leaned down to kiss it softly. He moved back up and turned to his side. Buffy did the same and ran her hand up and down his arm. "It's just an arm, Buffy." 

She smiled and said, "It's my arm, though." 

"Will you marry me?" 

Buffy stopped her hand and looked at him, eyes wide. "Is that a normal post-coital question for you?" 

"You know that it isn't." 

"Spike, we haven't even said-" 

"I lo-" 

"No," she said quickly, bringing her fingers to his mouth. "Don't do it now." 

"What if I want to?" 

"I'm asking you not to right now, okay?" 

"Am I going to get an explanation?" 

Buffy sighed. "It just has to be right. Not when I say that we haven't said it." 

"It feels right now, Buffy. Do you know how long I've waited to tell you and now you're telling me I can't?" 

"No, I'm not...well, sort of, but it seemed like I was fishing for it and I so wasn't. I just...so you wanna get married?" 

"Funny, pet." 

"I'm pretty good with the rapid subject changes," she told him with a nod of her head. 

"So will you?" Spike asked quietly. 

"Someday I will," she smiled gently, placing a tender kiss on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and turned so he was on his back. One of her legs fell over his, the other pressed tightly against the same leg. She placed her hand on his chest and laid her head right below his shoulder. "Are you comfortable?" 

"I'm very comfortable," he told her. "Night, Buffy." 

She kissed his shoulder and smiled as she rested her head in the same spot. "Goodnight, Spike." 

---------------------------------- 

Buffy woke up in a flash when she realized Spike was no longer beneath her. _Oh, god. Oh, god._

"Buffy? You alright?" Spike asked from behind her, moving his hand over her hip, pressing her body closer to his. 

Buffy exhaled when she felt his body behind her and said, "Yeah...fine." 

"Bad dream?" 

"No...I couldn't... feel you. I thought you were gone," she explained, hesitation in her voice. She settled into his embrace, instantly feeling secure again. 

"I'm never leaving," he told her softly. 

"I know." She took a deep breath and turned her body to face him. She wrapped her leg over his and snuggled her head into the crevice between his head and shoulder. He heard her sigh happily and fall back into sleep. 

"I love you," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. 

----------------------------------- 

Buffy woke up as Spike came back into the room, carrying a tray. He smiled at her and came to the bed. 

"Sit up, pet." 

Buffy pulled the sheet up under her arms and smiled. "What's this?" 

"Breakfast in bed. They insisted that they could make it and deliver it but I explained that it was very important that I cook it." 

"You made me breakfast in bed? You're the best boyfriend ever. Period. End of story. So what did you make me?" 

"Cheese omelet, bacon, toast. There's coffee, orange juice and water coming up in-" there was a knock on the door, "right now." 

Spike got off the bed to answer the door and Buffy dove into her food. She couldn't believe how hungry she was and how good it was. Spike had cooked for her a few times before but he certainly made a mean cheese omelet.

"Good?" Spike asked, putting a cup of coffee on the bedside table.

"Delicious. You're not eating?"

"I was hoping to get some of yours."

"Yeah, right," she laughed. "Get your own!" She put a piece of egg on the fork and held it up for him. "So what are we doing today?"

"Everyone else is downstairs eating breakfast in the dining room. I think sight-seeing was mentioned."

"All the sight-seeing I want to do is right here in this room," Buffy said as she took a sip of her coffee. "Mmm...you got me French vanilla."

"Of course. I could always run downstairs and tell them to go on without us. We could meet up with them later on."

"See? You really are the best boyfriend ever!"

He leaned over, kissing her quickly. "I'll be right back."

"No, wait. Maybe we should go..." she said as she put the tray on the floor.

"Are you serious?" Spike didn't bother to hide his disappointment.

"Sure, I mean...last night is kind of a fog. I can't remember if it was good enough to not want to hang out with my friends todaaayyy! Ah, Spike!" she screamed as he jumped on the bed, tackling her backwards.

"That's what I like to hear. You screaming my name."

"Then you have some work to do, pet," Buffy said, smiling.

"You challenging me?"

"You know it," she told him.

"I've never refused a challenge," Spike said, his voice low. He slowly removed the sheet from around her body and sighed upon seeing her naked again. _I'm the luckiest bastard in the world_ he thought before dipping his head down to kiss her stomach.

***********************


	23. 23

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

********************

Chapter 23

Buffy smiled when she heard the shower curtain open and close. She opened her eyes, grabbed the shampoo and put some in her hands.

"Why are you up so early?" she asked as she worked the shampoo into Spike's hair.

"Heard you in here...couldn't resist."

"Should never have introduced water play because I can't remember the last time I got to relax in the shower by myself."

"I can leave," Spike offered as he picked up the bottle of soap. He placed a dollop on his hands. He began to wash her stomach, moving his hands to her breasts and back down over her hips.

"Oh, no you don't. You don't come in here and get me all soapy and then think you can just leave. You need to rinse." They moved around each other and Spike stuck his head under the water. When he was done, she said, "You know, if we ever buy a house, we're remodeling the bathroom. Tub and shower separate. Big jacuzzi tub and a big shower that has three or four heads and enough room so two people can shower properly at the same time."

"I think we do just fine like this," he commented as he past by her closely, his hand moving across her stomach as he went.

"I'm not complaining." Spike gave her a look that said otherwise. "Okay, a little but mostly because it's not all that comfy in here. We get a big stand-up only shower where there's room to do stuff in without worrying if we might slip and break our necks...it might be nicer. That's all I'm saying."

"We haven't broken our necks yet."

"True but there was that time we slipped and you ended up having to get fifteen stitches in your head. You weren't exactly conscious when the EMT's came to take you to the hospital. That was a real fun and not at all embarrassing experience for me."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, luv. Plenty of people do what we're doing...or not doing as the case may be," he said, raising an eyebrow, hoping she'd take the hint.

"I think we have too much sex, don't you?"

"Uh, no."

"Well, I think we do. We're always all over each other. We're getting older...things are changing. We need to learn some self-control."

Spike was looking at her, dumbfounded. She was giving him no signs that she was joking and he could usually tell within a minute if she was merely playing him. Not this time, however. Either she was absolute in her opinion or she had become much better at holding a joke over him until the punch line. After nine years together, he found the latter to not be the case.

"Okay, pet. If you think that's what we need to do then I guess that's what we need to do..."

"Good, I'm glad we're in agreement." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "Are you done?"

"You want to start this no sex thing right now?" Spike asked, highly disappointed.

"Yes, we need to learn that not every moment in life is about giving over to our carnal pleasures. There is more to it. There's definitely more to us than just that."

"Which we know so why not continue to keep on doing what we've always done? You know if ain't broke, don't go fucking it up by trying to fix it."

Buffy laughed and said, "I know that, baby. I was just thinking after last night's fight and make-up sex that we use sex for everything. I want to try and not do that. That's all. You understand, right?" She pouted a little, knowing that was the best way to manipulate him into seeing things her way. She knew this wasn't the nicest thing to do to him but she really wanted him to see her point.

"Don't do that pout-y look. You don't want sex, don't do that," Spike said, a bit annoyed. She smiled slightly and got out of the shower. He followed soon after and could hear her in the kitchen through the bathroom wall. He couldn't believe it. There was no possible way he could nor would be able to wrap his mind around this. He had no idea where it had come from, what had happened in his absence last night that made her rethink their sexual relationship. He had always considered it to be the icing on the cake to everything else that they had.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed to the bedroom. He went to his bedside table and pulled out the long, square box and placed it on top. He had a whole plan on how to give the gift to her and unfortunately for him, that plan had involved what she had just taken away. Spike didn't understand why she picked today of all days to deprive them of it. He tried to justify it by thinking she simply didn't remember, but that irked him because the girl was always supposed to remember this day. The men where the asses that didn't and yet here he was with his celebratory gift. The fact that he was completely whipped did not go by him.

He heard her laughing before he saw her run into the bedroom. She jumped on him, pushing him backwards and he briefly thanked that he was next to the bed still. She kissed his face all over, her hands working the small knot of the towel. She was breathing heavily, a combination of the laughing, running like a crazy lady down the hall and the anticipation of what came next. He grabbed a hold of her shoulders, lifting her a bit so he could look at her.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Kissing your neck," she answered, matter-of-factly. She tried to bend back down but he held her steady. "Can I get back to doing that now?"

Spike looked at her, his brow crinkling in confusion. "What about...?" he nodded his head toward the bathroom.

She smiled as she grabbed his hands, pulling them away from her body. It didn't take all that much strength as he didn't try hard to stop her. She went back to kissing his neck, loving the sounds he made, loving the feel of him growing harder beneath her. Buffy couldn't believe he had actually bought that. She thought for sure he knew when he had been giving her the look but she kept her best poker face and it had apparently worked. She had to bite the insides of her mouth to not laugh out loud at the sight of horror that passed over his face. After nine years of this, she couldn't believe he would actually think that there would be less of it. That she would give this up was just the most ludicrous thing and that she would give it up today of all days made her laugh like a hyena...which she had done as she ran down the hall.

"Something funny, ducks?"

"I can't believe that you actually thought I was serious."

"Oscar-worthy performance in there. Of course, I probably wasn't paying much attention to what was going on as you were naked, wet...very distracting."

"That was the plan, Stan," she joked, giving him a quick kiss that made a smacking sound when she broke away. She giggled at the noise and he went along with her. "No sex anymore...that's a good one, huh?" She shook her head as she continued to laugh softly.

"Gave me a bloody heart attack, you know."

"Yup, I know." She moved her hips in a circular motion, causing Spike's eyes to roll back. "Happy Anniversary, William."

"If that was my present, I want to exchange it," he told her with a smile.

"For what?"

He grabbed her waist, flipping her over onto the bed. She laughed loudly and he ripped the towel off her, throwing it across the room. She reached up and did the same to his. He leaned over and licked from her navel to neck, gently massaging her sides as he went. He sucked on her neck, biting it gently and put his hand on one of her breasts, moving it at such a slow rate that Buffy groaned in frustration.

"What?" Spike asked, looking at her.

She put her hand over his and squeezed his fingers a little, moving them around in a circular motion. "Are you trying to kill me with the barely touching and moving?"

"You deserve it after yanking my-"

"I haven't done that yet. Although it is on the agenda." He smiled and shook his head in surprise. "Do you think you're the only one allowed to interrupt with sexual innuendoes? No, siree."

"I feel like going slow. You know, mature sex for us old practically marrieds," he murmured in her ear.

"Okay, but in your slowness...could you go a bit faster?" Spike laughed with her and she added, "You do whatever you want, sweetie."

"I plan to," he told her, kissing her neck. "We're going to have to take another shower after this."

She winked at him and slyly said, "Also on the agenda."

--------------------------------

"Mmm...I love this part. Cuddling is so...cuddlesome," Buffy sighed happily. He kissed the top of her head and smiled. "So why were you up so early? You must be tired. You didn't get in until after three."

"Did I wake you?"

"Not really. Just that thing were you feel the shift in bed and open your eyes briefly. I just happened to notice the time. Busy night last night?"

"I'd rather pick out another wedding cake," Spike said with a laugh.

"Couldn't have been that bad."

"It had its moments."

"I'm getting the feeling that you don't want to talk about this. Did something happen?" Buffy asked, perching herself up on her elbow, resting her head against her hand so she could look at him.

"Yeah, but can we get into after we finish the anniversary rituals?"

"Sure," Buffy answered quickly. By the tone of his voice, she knew instantly that it was something he really didn't want to tell her about but she knew that he would. She settled back down, lying her head on his stomach and running her fingers lightly across it. "Tell me about the first time you saw me."

He smiled and started to run his fingers through her hair. "It was about two weeks before we met in the courtyard-"

"So you were daydreaming about me for two weeks?"

"Among other things." She laughed as he knew she would. Just has she had done for the last eight years of telling this story. As they had laid in bed on their first anniversary, in the exact same position as they found themselves on this one, she had asked him. Every year since, she put her head on his stomach, he ran his fingers through her hair and she asked the question. Nothing was changed, it was always the same and there was something very comforting about that for both of them. It had become a tradition that they equally cherished. Neither mentioned this day all year round and they didn't talk about it with others. It had become their own. Spike had made that moment in the library a part of their history by sharing it with her and she was forever grateful. It had made her feel what he did and had severed the few remaining issues regarding love and fear that she had.

"You and Willow had come into the library to talk to Rupert. You were both giggling away about something. I was in his office, waiting for him to finish for the day. I heard the laughing and just had to see who it belonged to. I stood in the doorway, peaked out and that's when-"

"You were hit with the angelic vision of me?"

"Right you are, pet," he agreed, laughing. "Honestly, it was the legs first. Your back was to me and I just saw tanned legs that led up to this very memorable short black skirt. A skirt that I thought shouldn't be allowed to be worn in high school."

"Jealous nature already coming through," Buffy mumbled.

"Damn straight. Then I saw the red top and I thought is she wearing a bra?"

Buffy giggled and said, "Probably not."

"And that led to a whole slew of things that kept my interest. Then there was blonde, shiny hair that I could just imagine running my fingers through," he continued as he did just that. "You called for Giles. It was the first time I had heard anyone not call him Rupert or Mr. Giles. I thought it was great that he actually let you call him that. I thought this girl has some stones."

"A whole bunch of them," she commented, licking his stomach, making his muscles twitch.

"You chatted with him a bit. Ask me what about and I couldn't tell you...I was too focused on watching that mouth of yours move. No lipstick just some stuff on it to make it all shiny and pout-y and that also gave me many things to use in my...daydreams." They both laughed softly. Buffy moved up his body and rested her head on his shoulder and lightly moved her finger tips along his chest. "I finally noticed Red when you were leaving-"

"I had your interest from the get-go? Such a boost to the old ego."

"I went and asked Rupert who you were and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head. I'm sure he took off his glasses and cleaned them properly before he said one word. Buffy. And I thought that's her name? What kind of name is that?"

"Hey," she scolded, leaning over a bit to bite his shoulder playfully.

"Ow," Spike joked. "Then for the next two weeks, I walked all over Sunnyhell, hoping to catch another glimpse. I annoyed the living shit out of Rupert by constantly showing up at the library, waiting for you to come in-"

"You were such a goner and I hadn't even said two words to you yet."

"You were going to be mine."

"Such confidence," Buffy whispered as she crawled over him, resting her body on top of his.

"Well, you went it bullocksed up all my plans of sweeping you off your feet with my dashing charm and extremely good looks."

"How'd I do that?" She began to nibble his ear lobe and he moaned softly.

"In case you have forgotten, luv, you had that ex situation-"

"But you still swept me up."

"Really?" he asked, making sure he sounded just as surprised as he had when she told him that all those years ago.

"Absolutely. I wanted you the minute I looked at you...I just thought it was best to-"

"Not use me shamelessly right away?"

"Exactly. I figured, I'd build up the appropriate amount of sexual tension and then use you up and spit you out."

"You spit?"

"Ew," she said, giggling, her face flaming with embarrassment. "Pig."

"You love it," he drawled as he had done before the second time they kissed. He looked at her and waited, never getting enough of what was coming next.

"I do," she reiterated. She sat up a bit so she could look at his face. Her finger traced down his jaw line and she smiled slightly. "I love you, Spike." He smiled and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip.

"And I love you, Buffy." As he leaned down, she leaned forward, their mouths meeting in the middle. He had waited a whole year for her to finally say it but, for him, it was worth it. Later, she apologized for not saying it sooner, even though she had known from the start that she had. He didn't need it though, because he knew, just as she had known how he felt about her. He would rather just know it, experience it, then have her say it without being absolutely certain. Everything she had done over that year told him without a doubt that she did. Even if she waited longer than that, it wouldn't have mattered to him because he just knew.

They broke apart and Buffy asked, "What are we going to do next year?"

"How do you mean?" Spike asked, confused.

"We'll be married. We'll have a whole new anniversary date. We should've been married on this day so there wouldn't be any confusion," she said, laughing.

"We can, you know. Just get in the car, drive over to Vegas and get hitched."

"Oh, I'm sure everyone would love that," she said sarcastically. "Ooh! We could do it and not tell anyone and still get married in two months. No one would be the wiser. Then we could have our own private anniversary and then the one everyone knows about it."

"Sounds swell in theory, pet, but you're not serious."

"Yes, I am," she told him, adamantly.

"No, you're not," he said, stressing each word. "You wouldn't get married without your chums and family there."

"But you would?" Buffy asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"I honestly always thought I would do it that way. I never thought I'd have-"

"All of us?"

"One great, big happy family," Spike said, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards slightly. "Besides, this doesn't have to change. We will always celebrate this day."

"You promise?"

"I never break a promise to my lady," Spike swore, kissing her forehead lightly.

-----------------------------

"Yay," Buffy squealed happily, jumping up and down on the bed. "Presents are good. Especially when they're for me."

"Maybe I shouldn't give this to you considering what you did to me this morning," Spike said, looking at the present in his hand. "I don't think you deserve it."

"Of course I deserve it! I'm me!"

"I don't think you've earned it."

"The day you leave this bed unsatisfied is the day that I'm not in it and if that day ever comes, I get to chop your penis off." His eyes went wide. "As Willow would say, a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Now gimme!" She reached her arm out and he snatched his arm back, shaking his head.

"Sit on the bed."

"Can I kneel?"

"Whatever...just stop jumping. It's distracting." Buffy threw him a sly smirk and kneeled in the middle of the bed, waiting. "I know we're not supposed to go above the set amount and I wouldn't have but I saw you eyeing it and with the upcoming nuptials...I thought why not."

"What did you do?"

"Here..." He handed the box to her and it surprised him when she didn't grab it out of his hand or tear into it right away. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"Spike, if you went crazy, I'm going to kill you," she told him sternly, shaking her head. She slowly unwrapped the box and opened it. "Oh my god." She looked at him, tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks. "You're dead."

"I was expecting something a bit nicer-" He was cut off as she moved at lightening speed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately. It took him all of a half a second to catch on as he wrapped his arms around her still naked form, never tired of the feeling of her skin against his, her lips against his. He started to move her backwards when he heard her protesting. Reluctantly removing his lips, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"This is way too much, Spike. You have to bring it back," she said as she sat back on the bed, pulling her legs up to her chest. She ran her fingers over the diamond and opal necklace she had so desperately wanted and sighed heavily.

"No, I'm not bringing it back. Don't be daft."

"I'm not being...daft. Do you forget that I know how much this costs?"

"Okay, it's rude to talk about the price of a present, you know," he smirked but Buffy only rolled her eyes at him and huffed. "Pet, here's the deal but first you need to promise me that you will never again question anything I give you."

Buffy thought for a minute before saying, "Sure, now try to justify how we can possibly afford this."

"First off, I lied about how much money I got on my last two cases I worked. Put the money I told you I got in our account, took the excess and kept it someplace else. Secondly, Larry gave me a really good price. As in not the price that you saw when we came across it a couple of months ago. Thirdly, this isn't just an anniversary present." He kneeled on the bed in front of her, took the box from her and removed the necklace. He went around her, she lifted her hair and he put the necklace on her. "It's your wedding gift. A little early, granted, but I figured you could wear it-" Buffy spun around, cutting him off again, which he really wasn't going to complain about. She turned her body, wrapping her legs around his waist. His hands cupped her bottom, lifting her onto him and they sighed together at being rejoined once again. They rocked against each other, in absolutely no rush to do anything other than feel each other. Their hands ran down each other's backs, causing them both to shiver.

Buffy rested her forehead against his and smiled. "I think...this is one of...the best anni...ah...versaries we've ever...god, Spike...had."

"You're just saying that because...because of your present," Spike panted out and she smiled, leaning down to lick and bite his neck tenderly. "Luv, you feel so..."

"You, too." She laughed softly and added, "I can't believe you thought...I was serious before." Spike lifted her body, never withdrawing from her and moved them so she was lying on her back. He pushed deeper into her and she moaned loudly at the change in position. Where it had been soft, tender and slow, now it was deep, long and full of all the desire they always had for each other. "If this is...is the result of saying no more sex..."

"Yeah?" Spike grunted as she pushed him harder into her.

"Remind me to say it more often."

---------------------------

Buffy put the blow dryer under the sink and brushed her hair through one more time. She walked into the bedroom and smiled at Spike's sleeping form. She refused to walk over there and wake him as she knew exactly where that would lead and she had the girls' coming over. She opened up the closet and pulled out a black fitted t-shirt with a v-neck and grabbed her faded blue jeans. Spike loved them because they rested low on her hips and when she would lift her arms or bend over, it would show skin. He was just too easy to win over. After she was dressed, she went to her dresser to get a pair of earrings when she saw her gift. She picked up the box and opened it. She couldn't believe he did that. After all these years, the fact that he could still surprise gave her butterflies in her stomach. She never expected this in a million years. It would go perfectly with her dress. She figured she could buy the matching earrings as a congrats to herself.

"Oh crap." She slapped her hand to her forehead as she suddenly remembered that she hadn't given Spike his present. Not that she wanted to now. She hadn't gone above their fifty dollar limit, a limit that had been set in stone for the last nine years. At first it was done because neither had the money to go above that and it just continued on as the other traditions did. She felt a fleeting feeling of wanting to hurt him again for doing it but then she looked at her necklace and it instantly dissolved. She went to the closet and found the bag that had Spike's present in it. She berated herself once more for not having something good enough and went to wake him up.

"Honey," she said, shaking him gently. "You need to get up. The guys should be here in a little while and you need to get ready." He mumbled incoherently and wrapped his arm around her waist. "No...you need to get up." He tightened his hold on her struggling form and yanked her onto the bed with him. "You're not funny."

"Yeah, I am," he told her, not opening his eyes.

"You have to get up, take a shower, get ready. Come on. Vamos!"

"Since when do you speak Spanish?" he asked, opening one eye to look at her.

"Everyone knows vamos. Are you up? Because I have a bit of cleaning to do before my group gets here." She tried to push herself up but he kept holding onto her. "Spike, seriously, we need to get out of bed. I'm all ready and I'm not getting all sweaty with you again so up we go!" She tried again but to no avail. "Fine, you don't get your present."

His eyes opened and he smiled. "That's right, you forgot all about giving me my present."

"You were supposed to say my present was this morning..."

"Silly me. Should I jump up and down on the bed naked, yelling gimmee like you did?"

"That would be almost as funny as the time you did your little strip show," Buffy said, laughing.

"Hey, that was pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. Got you all hot and bothered."

"You get me all hot and bothered just thinking of you."

"That's what a bloke likes to hear," he smirked, leaning over to kiss her.

"No!" She dodged and tried to roll but he just came with her, never releasing his hold on her waist. "We're not doing this!"

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because you're pathetic."

"Pathetic, eh?" He reached under her shirt and ran his hand along her stomach and up to her breast. She moaned softly as he massaged her, barely kissing her neck.

"Stop! I'm not kidding you. You need to ooh! Don't do that and stop laughing."

"Who's pathetic now? A little tweak and you're all cooing like-"

"I don't think you want to finish that sentence, mister," Buffy warned as she reached her hand behind her, running her finger tips lightly up and down his erection.

"Now, that's not playing fair, luv."

"Well, I see it two ways. Either you can let me go and you can get your present or you don't get your present and I can take care of this problem of yours."

"Do I get to choose how?"

"No sex."

"You seem to be saying that a lot today."

"Well, this time I mean it. I don't have time to get ready again. So you choose. Present or problem?"

"This is a tough one," Spike said, rubbing his hand along his chin thoughtfully. "Present."

"What?"

"Present. I can take of the problem on my own."

"You weren't supposed to pick present, dumbass!"

Spike quirked an eyebrow. "You forgot to get me a present?"

"Of course not, but after what you got me, mine sucks."

"Well, isn't that too bad. I'm sure it's perfect, pet."

"No, it's not," Buffy argued. "It's not even close to being good..."

Spike let go of her and slowly got up on the bed. He bounced a bit and yelled, "Gimmee!"

Buffy's eyes became glassy with laughter and she bent over to grab the present from the floor. "Sit." He complied and she handed him the thin, square shaped present. He shook it on instinct and frowned when nothing happened. Buffy lied on her stomach, leaning over him to kiss his knee. "Open it but just remember-"

"It sucks?" Buffy nodded. "Impossible." Buffy put her lips to his thigh and he moaned. "What are you doing?"

"Well, since it's not good, I figured I'd take care of the problem, as well. Call it a two for one kind of thing," she said with a wink.

"Not going to argue that," Spike smiled as she went back to kissing up his thigh. He concentrated on opening the present and sighed as he felt her lips moving closer to her target. She pushed him down to lie flat on the bed as she enveloped him. Present forgotten, he pulled her hair back so he could watch her. He knew that anything she did to him or for him gave him pleasure but there was something about this act, seeing her work her mouth around him that got him quickly every time.

Buffy put her head on his stomach and sighed as he gently massaged her head. "Thanks for holding my hair."

"Thanks for the solution," he said, with a laugh. She turned her head to look at him and returned the smile.

"Anything for you, darling," she drawled, accentuating it with a quick kiss near his belly button.

"Now, can I open my present in peace?" Spike joked. Buffy made a face and a whine escaped her lips. "It can't be that bad."

"It's no diamond and opal necklace," Buffy muttered, her good mood vanishing. "It's stupid."

Spike ripped the paper off and his mouth dropped open. "Where'd you find this?"

"Oz."

"Oz? Who found him?" Spike asked, confused.

"Apparently, you weren't listening six months ago when I told you he called Willow to apologize for not being able to attend the wedding."

"I think I vaguely recall something..."

"No, you don't. Just admit it. You weren't listening."

"Fine, I wasn't. You caught me." He shot her a winning grin and she couldn't help but smile back. "Am I in trouble?"

"No," she said, laughing. "We'll be sending him an invite to ours. There's no guarantee that he'll make it but we'll see."

"So how did Oz know how to get this?"

"He's living the _High Fidelity_ kind of life in New York. Runs some obscure record store. I asked Will for the number and he said he'd look into it for me."

"This had to cost over the fifty," Spike guessed.

"A little but not like hundreds like some other people who will go unnamed..."

"This is a great present, luv. Thank you," he leaned over and gave her a kiss.

"If you say so..."

"It's a signed copy of "Never Mind the Bullocks...". Of course, I love it. But I still say you paid way more-"

"Oz gave me a good price. He got it from a guy who knew a guy and so on. I knew you had that autographed single from Sid Victory-"

"Vicious, pet," Spike corrected, laughing.

"Hey, I was close," Buffy pouted. "You seem to like to collect signed albums and so I told Oz the bands I was looking for and he found one."

"Do you have any idea how rear this is? I should give good old Oz a call. I'm curious how he would get this at a cheap rate. Unless they were just looking to get rid of it, which is stupid. I can't see how you didn't pay more than I paid for the necklace."

"I'm telling you the truth. I went about thirty dollars over and that's including the wrapping paper." Buffy moved off the bed, picking up the wrapping paper as she went. "You need to get ready."

"Hey, pet, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Shoot," she said, cheerfully as she picked up around the bedroom. "Would it kill you to throw the clothes in the hamper?"

Spike smiled and took a deep breath. "Angel may be ducking out of the wedding."

She spun around and looked him, shock on her face. "What? How? Why?"

"I told him that if he was, he needed to talk to you about it. I didn't want to be the one to do it but I figured if I didn't at least warn you, I may get a verbal beating and I wasn't getting that because of him."

"When did this happen? Last night?" Buffy asked, sitting back down on the bed.

"Yeah, I don't want to go into details-"

"Maybe I want you to give me details," she interrupted.

"He's still in love with you," he told her quietly.

"Oh..."

"So the idea of standing up there, watching us get married...it doesn't exactly appeal to him."

"Oh..."

"Are you going to say something other than that?" Spike asked, hoping that she didn't hear the bit of annoyance in his voice.

"Eventually but I'm still processing," Buffy explained.

"How about I go shower while you do that?" He grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "There's no one here, right?"

"Nope, why?"

"Didn't want anyone else seeing my goods when I walk to the bathroom."

Buffy smiled but Spike could see that it wasn't as happy as she tried for it to be. "You're safe." Spike gave her a nod and walked out of the room. "Crap," she muttered, throwing her body back onto the bed.

********************


	24. 24

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

********************

**Chapter 24**

"Cordy, you know him best. Has he ever said anything to you about it?" Buffy asked.

"We're not as close as we once were. Things changed when I moved back here but come on, Buffy, you were his one. I could have told you that."

"But what about Darla? I mean, they're having a child together-"

"He wasn't in love with Darla when they were actually together. It's no different now," Cordy interrupted.

"Did Spike say anything else?" Tara asked.

"No, it was just like I told you. This is crazy, right? I mean it's been ten years...shouldn't he have let it go by now?" Buffy rubbed her temples in an effort to ward off the headache she could feel coming on.

"You don't ever think about it?" Willow asked. "I mean, not in the 'I wish I was with Angel' sense but, you know, just thinking about it?"

"Do you?" Tara asked her, surprised.

"Well, how much trouble am I going to be in?" Willow retorted, giving Tara an embarrassed smile. Tara put her hand on Willow's knee and gave it a small squeeze.

"I've thought about it, sure," Buffy answered, seemingly not hearing Willow and Tara's conversation. "I mean he was the first man I loved, so yeah..."

"But you don't think you'd ever want him back, right?" Dawn asked, nervously. Buffy looked at Dawn and shook her head. "Thank god."

"I'm sure any one of us who has been in this situation knows about it. I've tried to picture a life with Angel and I just can't. Even when I allow my mind to wander, there's always the bigger, much smarter and louder part of my brain that flashes Spike in my head. The first time we met, our first non-date date, the prom, the Halloween party, the night he asked me to marry him and I finally said yes. All these big and small events that my life has because of him and Angel becomes...it's just a distant memory. I'm glad for it, sure, it helped shape who I am but Spike...he's my one, the only."

"What are you going to do?" Cordy asked.

"I haven't a clue. I have half a mind to go there and let him have it but I don't want to make him feel badly because he isn't over us. Is it my fault? Do you think because we became friends that it gave him a bit of hope?"

"Absolutely not, Buffy," Willow told her adamantly.

"You know I love Angel and would do anything for him but he put himself in this position. He's never tried to move on, always too scared to do it and now he's stuck. It's his problem, he will and can deal with it on his own," Cordelia said.

"But I want him to be there. And it's so selfish of me to expect him to be there. I mean I never would have pushed Spike to ask him to be a part of it if I had any idea that he still felt something for me. God, I'm such a bitch!"

"No, you're not, sweetie. But maybe you should let him bow out gracefully," Tara suggested. "Let him come to you and take any excuse he gives you as the truth and accept it."

"Yeah, he sure as hell isn't going to say he loves you and can't be in the wedding because of it," Dawn threw in. "Although it would be kind of funny if he did."

"Dawn..." Buffy warned.

"Jeez, just saying..." Dawn said, getting off the couch. "You guy's want anything?" They all shook their heads and Dawn shrugged. She rounded the corner to the small hall that led to the kitchen and stopped when she saw Spike sitting at the table. She quirked an eyebrow, smiled and continued down the hall. She crept up behind him and said, "What are you doing?"

He jumped in his seat and turned to look at her, relief crossing his face that it was Dawn. "Keep you voice down, Bit. I'm trying to eavesdrop."

"Didn't you leave to get suits?"

"We're done. Now, shh."

"Where are the rest of the men?" she asked, taking a seat across from him.

"Grabbing a bite."

"Not hungry?"

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" She nodded and he rolled his eyes. "You Summers' women are going to be the death of me."

"It's funny, Spike."

"My future hanging in the balance is funny?"

"Oh, please, Miss Dramatic. If you honestly believed that information would do anything to Buffy other than make her reconsider her friendship with him, you're a dummy."

"Yeah? Then why'd you sound so panicked when you asked if she thought of going back to him?"

"I, uh, so did not!"

"Dawn? You okay?" they heard Buffy call from the other room. Spike put his finger to his lips and she nodded.

"Yeah, fine! Just talking to my imaginary, neurotic friend," Dawn answered.

"That's good," Buffy said, absently.

"Neurotic?" Spike asked

"You're the one sitting out here, listening on your girlfriend's conversation about her ex, worrying about future bliss...yeah, I'm sticking with neurotic," she told him with a smile so infectious that he returned it. "So, happy anniversary by the way. Have a good morning?"

"You're still only fourteen in my mind, you know, so I'm not answering that question and I don't care for the tone of your voice that implies you know exactly-"

"God, Spike, I'm not joining a convent, you know. I do know about these things," Dawn interrupted, annoyed.

"From books, movies and television, right?"

"Yeah, huh," Dawn agreed, not entirely convincing Spike.

"I'm talking to your sister about this. And if it's Connor-"

"Spike? What are you doing home?" Buffy asked as she came down the hall with Willow, Tara and Cordelia in tow.

"We finished quicker than we thought we would. And I was just chatting up the Bit, here."

"Well, we're going accessories shopping and I'm sure you don't want to do that." Spike shook his head quickly and she laughed. "Okay, but you don't know what you're missing." She gave him a quick kiss on the mouth and turned to Dawn. "Are you coming or are you going to keep Spike company?"

"Nope, I'm coming. Our conversation was getting weird so best to scoot out before he gets all Dad-like with me. Let me just get my stuff," Dawn answered, shooting out of her seat.

"What was that about?" Buffy asked.

"Is she...never mind," Spike began but then stopped.

"Is she what?" Buffy prodded.

"We'll talk about it later."

"No way. How are we supposed to tease her all afternoon if we don't know what you two were talking about?" Cordelia demanded.

"No."

"Oops, there goes the clenching. He means business, Cordy," Willow teased.

"Will the two of you please leave him alone?" Buffy asked with a smile, running her fingers through Spike's hair.

"Thanks, luv."

"I'm ready," Dawn announced, coming back into the room. Buffy kissed Spike again and everyone said their goodbyes, leaving the apartment. Dawn stuck her head through the door before closing and asked, "You didn't say anything, right? Because I would hate to tell Buffy what you were actually doing sitting there."

"You're all alike, you know that?" Spike grumbled.

"I'll take that as a no and a compliment," Dawn said, cheerfully and closed the door.

"Bleeding women..."

-----------------------

"You think Buffy will be surprised?" Xander asked.

"That's the plan so she better be," Spike answered, lighting a cigarette.

"Are you ever going to quit smoking? It's not cool, you know."

"Right, I forgot that you know all about the cool," Spike said, smirking. "I've already cut down. We're not having another round of tell Spike how bad smoking is."

"We're just looking out for you, man."

"You're dating Cordelia again?" Spike asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"Left field, here comes Spike."

"We were talking about hazards to our health..."

"We're sorting through things, I guess. At least I have a date for the wedding now."

"What about the Southern bird?"

"After everyone told me what a genius she is, I couldn't go through with it. I told Wes to forget it."

"Yeah, I see your point. You don't have to pretend with Cordelia...she already knows you're the way you are."

"You're just rolling them off tonight, aren't ya?" They shared a laugh before Xander turned serious. "I'm happy. Despite everything, it's different. It almost seems new."

"Well, ten years will put a new shine on things," Spike offered.

"Right, I know, but it's something else. I can honestly say that the first woman I ever loved was Anya. I thought I should feel bad that I didn't love Cordy...I liked her a whole bunch, enjoyed her company and whatever but now, this time around-"

"You think you could?" Spike asked, interrupting.

"I know I could," Xander confirmed, his tone of voice strong and sure.

"Then go for it, mate. Don't let past baggage weigh it down. You just gotta grab it by its balls and go."

"That was poetic, Spike. Really touched my heart." After a moments thought, he continued, "But I hear you. I want to. It's been two, almost three years since Anya...god, time flies, huh?"

"Tell me about it. Buffy and I hit nine years today. Nine fucking years. It's insane," Spike said, shaking his head.

"Can't say I'm surprised. Thought you two would have been married way before now but as the saying goes, all good things-"

"Come to those who wait," Spike finished. "Angel's still all googly-eyed over her."

"Ah, so that's why with the women pow-wow today. Is he still going to be in the wedding?"

"That's the answer that nobody knows. It's too bad. I almost liked the guy. Appreciated what he wanted to do with his life, make up for past mistakes and all that."

"But you don't want him to still be in love with your woman."

"Exactly. Buffy wants this perfect event where nothing can go wrong and so I want her to have that. It's not that I think he's deliberately sabbing us but could he have picked a worse time?"

"Better now than when you're at the alter, right?"

"Infinitely better but it's just making things up in the air right now. Him not showing up today gave me the impression he wasn't going to be a part of it. Now I have to find someone to take his place."

"Have anyone in mind? Gunn?"

"Oz, actually. Buffy has his number, I thought of giving him a call this morning and now, I have even more of a reason."

"Oz'll do it in a heartbeat. As long as he can get someone to cover the store-"

"You knew he was found, too?" Spike asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah, I've talked to him a bunch. Buffy didn't tell you?"

"I need to start paying closer attention at times," Spike muttered.

Xander's face broke out in a goofy grin. "Hey, it'll be like old times. All of us together again...except Will's married to a woman now..."

"What about Oz? Find himself a lady friend?"

"Girl named Beth. Real sweet, apparently. I got the feeling she's very Willow-like but I think that's just Oz's type."

Spike shrugged and nodded his head. "Anya and Cordelia are similar. You have a type...we all have a type."

"Harmony is nothing like Buffy."

"Thank the Lord for that. I would not be here if she were. Three girls have graced me with their presence and not a one of them are alike."

"Then you don't have a type."

"Yeah, I do. Buffy."

"But just Buffy, right?" Xander asked, smiling and Spike nodded, smiling as well. "You know, we are two very sensitive men."

"Shut your gob, Harris! We're very manly and not at all dominated by the women in our lives," Spike argued, weakly. "Oh, hell, I'm a goner. I know it, I accept it."

"Well, that's good," Buffy said, as she entered the room, making a bee-line for Spike and sitting on his lap.

"Were you eavesdropping, pet?" he whispered in her ear.

"About as much as you were," she retorted. Shock took over his features and she giggled. "You are so obvious sometimes, you know?"

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Cordelia interrupted.

"Spike's whipped," Buffy gleefully told her.

"Tell us something we didn't know," Cordy responded.

"Hey!" Spike objected.

"I thought you were accepting," Xander put in.

"You're one to talk, whelp."

"I'm not-"

"Don't even try it, Xander. Or I'll bring up the cheesecake," Cordelia warned.

"Uh..." Xander sputtered, not able to get anything out.

"Cheesecake?" Buffy and Spike asked at the same time, amused expressions on both their faces.

"It's nothing!" Xander yelled, panicked.

"What's the big deal? We saw you buying cheesecake, remember?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah...and that's all there is to that story, so let's go!" Xander jumped off the couch, grabbed Cordy's hand and began to drag her off.

"We want to know the story," Buffy pouted.

"No power on this Earth," Xander said while Cordelia mouthed "I'll tell you later".

"Okay, fine, be that way. I remember when my pout used to work on you, too," Buffy whined. Xander grinned at her and Cordelia rolled her eyes, dragging him down the hall yelling her goodbye.

"How'd it go today?" Spike asked, twirling a strand of Buffy's hair around his index finger.

"Fine for everyone else but I'm cranky."

"What happened?"

"I went to Larry's to buy myself the matching earrings to my beautiful necklace and he sold them! Can you believe that? What's the point of having the necklace without the earrings and vice versa? I'm highly annoyed."

"Could he order you a pair from someplace else?"

"No," she grumbled. "Apparently, he got the set from a woman in Santa Barbara who makes specialized jewelry and she only made the one pair. It's okay, I have Mom's diamond earrings. Something borrowed, I guess."

"You're just going to have to make due," Spike agreed. She looked at him quizzically and shook it off. "What was that look for?"

"I was just seeing if you would crack under my penetrating gaze and tell me you bought the earrings," she told him hopefully.

"Sorry, lamb, didn't do that. Couldn't do that. I wanted to...but I-"

"No need to explain. I definitely would have killed you if you had bought both. So how'd the suits go?"

"Fine...it all went well. I'm going to give Oz a call tomorrow."

"That's good. I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

"Asking him to usher," Spike said, hesitantly.

"Oh..."

"Back to the 'oh' again?"

"I keep seeming to have to process things you say to me today. You're hurting my brain."

"I can make that up to you," he said before licking and biting her neck. She giggled and made a poor effort of pushing him away. "I can make you forget all sorts of worries. All you need to do is take these clothes off," he popped a button on her blouse, "and I'll take my clothes off," she had already started undoing the buttons on his shirt, "and we'll-" There was a knock on the door interrupting him. "Bugger."

"It's probably Xander or Cordy. Maybe they forgot something. I'll get it," she said, getting up and buttoning her blouse up. "You could always, you know, finish taking those very constricting pants off and getting yourself all ready for all the dirty little things we're about to do."

Spike grabbed her wrist, yanking her back onto his lap, his mouth instantly latching onto hers. The knocking began again and she pulled her head away and smiled weakly and got up. She was surprised she didn't fall flat on her face as he legs felt like jelly. She slowly walked to the hall and she heard Spike smugly ask, "Trouble walking, pet?". She decided her best course of action was to flip him off, which she did and she could hear him laugh as she made her way to the door.

"You know this better be good," she said, laughing, as she opened the door. Her smile quickly faded when she saw Angel standing there, looking as nervous as she suddenly felt. "Uh...hi."

"We need to talk," he said, quickly.

"Yeah, we do." She motioned for him to come in and after she shut the door, she called out to Spike, "Honey, I hope you have your clothes on."

*****************


	25. 25

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

********************

**Chapter 25**

Flashback

"C'mon, luv, get up."

"No. Sleeping is good. Want to sleep."

"You've been asleep for about eleven hours. Time to get up now. I have plans for us today."

"Plans that don't require us to stay in bed?" Buffy asked. Spike smiled and shook his head. "Well, then I don't wanna play. Go away."

"No amount of pouting or whining will get you out of this, Buffy," he said as he ripped the blankets from her body. "Hey..."

"What?" Buffy asked with a smirk.

"When I left this bed, you had on a t-shirt. That along with your knickers has seemed to have disappeared."

"Oh? Really? Huh, would you look at that!"

Spike stepped away from the bed and folded his arms. "I'm not being coerced out of today's activities. I don't care how naked and...can you not rub your hands on yourself?"

Buffy laughed and turned on her side, propping her head on the palm of her hand. "What are we doing today?"

"I can't talk to you like that and I'm not coming over there to cover you up again because you'll do something naughty-"

"Thought you liked me naughty." Spike could only give her a hard stare and she sighed, wrapping the sheet back around her. "So...what are we doing if we're not going to do this?"

"Something I promised to do four years ago." Off Buffy's questioning look, he continued. "We're going driving."

"Where to?"

"Let me amend that. You're driving and I'm teaching."

"No, Spike, I really can't drive. I mean really," Buffy protested.

"You've never had me try to teach you and if you do well, you'll get a cookie," Spike told her with a smirk.

"A Spike-shaped cookie?"

"The best kind."

She threw the blankets off of her, jumped out of bed, ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck. He hoisted her up and her legs went around his waist. "Could I get a little incentive before we start?"

"I think we can manage that," he said, leading them back to the bed.

----------------------

"Pull in here," Spike directed.

"Here? It's an alleyway."

"Right but it's wide enough to practice three-point-turns. There's no other cars coming so it'll be easier for you."

"If you say so..." Buffy mumbled as she pulled in. "So now what?"

"Well, first, stop so we don't go crashing into the building at the end of the way," he said with a chuckle. He lurched forward when Buffy slammed on the brakes. "Okay, pet, ease off on the brakes a bit. Gradually come to a stop, don't put the peddle to the floor."

"Sorry."

"It's all right. You've been doing really well so far." She smiled at his encouragement and gestured for him to continue. "Now put the car in reverse...good...now foot off the brake but don't put it on the gas. You're still a bit peddle happy with that one, as well."

Buffy frowned. "See, I told you I can't do this."

"No, you can and you have been for a half hour now. Your biggest problems are the peddles, which, granted are pretty bloody important but you're learning. Slowly, press down on the gas so you feel the car going backwards. Do you feel that?" Buffy nodded. "Good, now brake. I wanted you to get a feel for that shift first. Reverse can rattle some people."

"This whole experience rattles me, Spike. Can't you just drive me everywhere?"

"Buffy, we're moving to L.A. this summer. Now if I have to work and you want to come visit your Mum, Bit and the rest of them, you're going to have to learn how to get back here on your own. I have a little more than a month to teach you. That should be plenty of time."

"But to get to here from there, I have to get on the highway and that is something-"

"That we will do once we get the small things out of the way," Spike interrupted. He squeezed her thigh in an effort to comfort her. "I wouldn't lie to you if I didn't think you could do it."

"Really? Because I'm thinking this is one of those prime examples of when you lie to make someone feel better but never again let them do it."

"Buffy, you can do this."

Buffy liked the strong assuredness his voice carried and she nodded. "Yeah, I can do anything. I just graduated college, which who ever thought that would happen? I'm going to take that certificate program at UCLA this summer and that's pretty daunting. I can totally do this!"

He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you."

She turned her head a little and smirked. "Yeah, we'll see how much after we finish this lesson. If I crash the car, do I still get my cookie?"

"So, for three pointers-"

"Spike!"

"Like I could ever deny you anything, kitten," he said leaning back into his seat. "Now put the car in drive, coast a bit...good...now turn the wheel so the nose of the car is going towards that wall. Whatever you do, do not press on the gas. When you get close, about an inch away, stop. That was easy, right?" Buffy shrugged in response. "Okay, now reverse and keep your foot on the brake. You can either use the rearview mirror or you can turn. I'm not a mirror driver but some people prefer them. It's more with what you feel comfortable with."

"Why don't you like the mirror?"

"I just don't trust them. You'll use the side mirror to see how close you are in back but I like to turn and look, if I can. It's up to you, pet."

"Um...okay," Buffy turned in her seat and looked behind her. She scrunched her nose and turned around. Her hands went to the rearview mirror and she adjusted it so she could see the back window better. "I like the mirror."

"Then we use the mirror. Car's in reverse, now let up on the brake and you feel it rolling on it's own? Let it do that. There's no rushing when it comes to this, especially here and we don't want to bloody hell!"

"Oops..."

"Were you listening to me? I said don't press on the gas."

"I got confused for a minute. I thought I was pressing on the brake because I was close to the wall," Buffy explained, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Baby, don't cry. It's fine. I'm not mad."

"You yelled at me."

"It was a surprise. It was just a shocked reaction. It's fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, no worries. I'm just going to check..." He got out of the car and walked to the back. "Damn it." He kicked the tire and sighed, his eyes rolling back in aggravation. _Maybe not such a good idea after all, Spike_.

"Spike?" Buffy called softly. He looked at her standing outside the driver's side. "Is it bad?"

"Nah, a broken tail light."

"I told you! But no! You had to be all insisty and you made me do this. And three-point turns on my first day out? Probably not the best of ideas, you know! And...and in an alley? An alley that I doubt even you could do it in and now I'm feeling all guilty for ruining your car and-"

"Luv, you're rambling," Spike said, walking around the car to her.

"I know! And don't underestimate the value of a good ramble and don't interrupt me when I'm in said ramble because I have some things to say about all this. You shouldn't have forced me into it. I told you that me, Buffy Anne Summers, would never be able to drive, remember? And you were all I love me a challenge and now see what happens? Your car is ruined!"

Spike had to control himself from not laughing. He didn't think bursting out in hysterics would be the best of plans at the moment. "The car isn't ruined. It's a tail light. It's nothing. Come on, get back in. We're not done with your lesson."

"Oh, no. I'm not getting back in there unless I'm on the passenger side where I belong, Spike. It'll take the end of the world to get me to drive again."

"You're being a tad overdramatic, Buffy. It's a small bender in my fender," he smirked at his play on words, hoping it would loosen her up a bit. It didn't. "Get in the car, pet."

"No."

"Buffy..."

"No," she repeated, crossing her arms.

"Get in the sodding car!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Don't stand there like a petulant child! Get in the car."

"NO! I'm walking home. I'm staying at my house tonight. Don't call me." She turned and began to walk down the alley, angrily wiping away her tears.

"Buffy!" _God damn bleeding women_. "Buffy, you're not walking home."

"Fuck off, Spike!" she screamed, not even turning to address him. The next thing she felt was Spike grabbing her upper arms and moving them against the brick wall. "What are you doing? Get your hands off me!"

"No, Buffy, you're not walking anywhere. You're going to get back in that car, you're going to finish that bloody three-point sodding turn and then you're going to drive it out of the bleeding alley and we're going to go home. Understood?"

"You don't tell me what to do. Understood?" she retorted, struggling to get out of his grasp. "You're hurting my arms."

He loosened his hold on her but not enough to allow her to get away from him. He softened his voice and said, "Didn't mean to do that, luv, but you're working my last nerve here."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I told you I didn't-"

"Want to do this, yeah, got it. But you have to learn. You're twenty-two years old, Buffy. You need to learn how to drive. And I'm going to teach you how to drive, even if it fucking kills me. Now, can we please get back in the car and finish?"

She studied him for a couple of minutes and she smiled at his classic mask of impatience. She leaned forward and brushed her lips to his. "Okay, let's give it another go."

He let go of her arms, keeping them close in case she was still planning on running. "Yeah? You're not going to go ballistic again, are you? I'm not keen on the fighting with you."

"It's kind of fun, though. We never do it. Kind of gets the blood boiling..." She lifted her hand and traced a finger down the front of his t-shirt to the buckle of his jeans. "Feeling sort of flustered and hot."

Spike swallowed hard and nodded, suddenly not able to find his voice. He moved his hands to her waist and squeezed which caused a small moan from Buffy's throat. His thumbs began to move in a circular pattern along her hip bone. She thrust her hips forward a bit and he moved his body to her, pressing their bodies together. Buffy placed her lips at a pulse point in his neck and sucked lightly.

"God, pet..." He nudged her hips up, hoping she would catch on, which of course she did. She jumped a bit as he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him. "We're in an alley."

"Very naughty," Buffy murmured against his skin. She moved to the other side of his neck and worked her way up to his earlobe, taking it in her mouth and biting it lightly.

"Someone could see us."

"Big Bad Spike doesn't want to get caught?" She ground herself against him, causing them both to groan. "I don't think this will take long. At least, not long enough to be seen."

"We don't do-"

"Never underestimate the value of a quickie."

"I thought it was ramble," Spike mused as his hand worked itself under her shirt and began kneading her breast.

"Mmm...whatever works in the given situation."

"That logic works for me. Good thing you wore this skirt." Her hands went to work on his jeans and when she finally had him in her hand, they both sighed in satisfaction.

"Well, I always say, be prepared for anything."

"Very astute of you, luv," he laughed, his hand moving from her shirt to under her skirt, moving her underwear over. His fingers slid over her and she shivered against him in anticipation. "So wet..."

"Always for you," she moaned as she led him to her entrance. "Last chance to chicken out."

In answer, he pushed inside her and she clutched him closer to her. Her legs tightened around his waist, he put one hand on the wall behind them, moving them away from it so she didn't scratch her back. She mumbled her appreciation before her lips found his again, kissing him brutally, in a way they had never kissed before. She broke away from his mouth, her head flung back and she gulped in air. She moved an arm over her head, finding leverage on the wall and pushed harder against him, causing him to go deeper within her.

"Christ!" Spike yelled. "We have...to stop, pet."

"No! No stopping. Keep going."

"Can't keep going if I...bloody hell," he moaned as she pushed again. He leaned his head against her chest, moving along with her erratic breathing. "Can't do this much longer, Buffy."

"Don't stop, Spike. Please...oh god, Spike, please...don't ever stop." He nipped at clothed breast lightly and she groaned in frustration, wishing that he could put his mouth against her skin. "Talk to me. Need to...hear you."

"You're the only one...you've ruined...Jesus...ruined everyone else. Nobody but you, pet. I love-" Buffy's yell of ecstasy cut Spike off and he followed with a yell of his own and thrust into her again, as deep as he could go, not holding himself off any longer. He brushed his lips softly against her breast bone and she mumbled incoherently.

"Can't move," she finally said.

"Have to, luv. We're in a very compromising position, here. Ready?"

"No," she said warily and then rolled her eyes. "Yeah..." His hands went to her waist and lifted her, unsheathing himself from her fully. He quickly tucked himself into his jeans while Buffy adjusted her clothes. She stretched her arms over her head and felt a pain in her back. "Ow!"

"What is it? You hurt?" he asked quickly, his concern showing.

"Probably just the usual post-sex trauma," she answered with a giggle.

"Not usually with the rough and tumble, sweets. Turn around. Let me get a look at your back."

"No, it's fine, really." He placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her anyway. He lifted up her shirt and saw a few scratches from the rough brick of the wall. "Well?"

"You're right. It's nothing. Just a couple of nicks from the wall. Probably just stinging right now because you're-"

"Coming out of my orgasmic haze?" They shared a laugh and she nodded towards the car. "Shall we?"

"You up for it? I can drive. We can finish this some other time."

"No, I'm good. Got a shot of inspiration..."

---------------------------

"It's a great picture," Spike said with a smile. He handed it back to Buffy and she jumped up and down.

"I can't believe it! You really did it, Spike. You actually got me my license."

"That was all on you, luv. But I am one hell of a teacher."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "In more ways than one." He laughed softly before placing a quick kiss on her mouth and pulling away. "So do I get to drive to L.A. tomorrow?"

"Buffy, maybe we should take it slow."

"But...but I'm an actual, honest to God and legal driver now. It's all I want to do. I just want to drive and drive and then drive some more. I can't get better if I don't practice, right?"

"True..." Spike thought for a moment and then continued, "How's this, then? You can drive the highway part but once we hit L.A., you let me drive. I don't think you're ready for all that traffic and most importantly, pedestrians."

"Hmm...okay!" She kissed him again and then moved away from him. She turned around and yelled to anyone who could hear her, "I love this man!" A woman walking by cast them a strange look and Buffy smiled. "Yeah, that's right. I love him. He's all mine and I can drive!"

"That's nice, dear," the woman said before quickly moving away.

"Buffy..." Spike started.

"Yeah?" She turned to look at him.

"Although I appreciate your love, I'm not sure all the customers at the DMV really care all that much."

"Well, I don't care if they don't care. I care and I'm telling everyone that I care...so there! Ooh, I rhymed."

"You're a regular Keats."

"Hey, I have an idea." Spike raised his eyebrow in response. "Let's take a walk."

"I thought you wanted to drive and drive some more?"

"Yeah, I do, but the park's right over there and I just feeling like walking hand in hand with my honey."

"And maybe bothering a few people along the way with declarations of love and licenses?"

"You know me so well. Plus, after tomorrow, no more park walking because I think they've killed all their natural resources in L.A." She grabbed his hand and pulled him. "C'mon, it'll be nice."

They ran hand in hand across the street to the entrance to the park. They strolled for a bit, taking in the scenery, the people having picnics, the cyclists, the joggers and the other couples whom Buffy thought didn't hold a candle to what she and Spike had. Three years had gone by in a blur for the both of them. School went quickly for Buffy and Spike had reluctantly began to work for Angel, growing to love it over time. She was nervous about leaving Sunnydale for the first time since she moved here but nothing was going to stop her from doing it. She was shocked that she was accepted into the education program at UCLA for the summer. She wasn't even going to apply but Willow had talked her into it, promising her much fun if they both got in. Tomorrow, she, Spike, Willow and Tara were relocating for the summer. Xander declined the offer to join them as he had finally been promoted at the construction company and he wanted to stay with Anya who had ventured into the retail business by opening her own store. Joyce had her reservations at first but knew that as long as Spike was with Buffy, nothing would happen to her. Now Buffy had her license, she found a job doing light secretarial work at a law firm and they had found a nice, not too expensive studio that they would be living in for the next three months. Willow and Tara had found a place about two blocks away and Cordelia's apartment and Angel's office were only a fifteen minute drive, give or take.

"...Rockwell painting."

"What?" Buffy asked, a bit dazed and completely missing what Spike had said to her.

"It's like a bleeding Norman Rockwell painting." He looked at her and she smiled, shrugging. "You all right? Seem a bit distracted."

"Nah, just thinking about stuff. Besides, the Rockwell is nice, right? It could be way worse."

"Right, that's what we got L.A. for."

"It's not that bad, Spike. It's going to be great. I just feel it in my bones," she told him excitedly.

"Are we ever going to talk about what happens after the summer?"

"Sure...except we don't know anything for certain right now. I'm almost positive Will's going to stay on at school and get her Master's and Tara's looking into some specialized art thing-"

"I meant with us...what are we going to do?"

"Well, I don't plan on going back for more school. Sixteen plus years is about all I can handle. The good thing with this program is that I get the certificate as long as I pass the test and I have my Bachelor's in psych so I should be all set to hit the school circuit, see if anyone needs a new, peppy guidance counselor."

"In Sunnydale?" Spike asked, hopefully.

"And work under Snyder? I'd need my own counselor if I had to do that. Why? Do you want to move back there after the summer?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I do. Don't really like the big city all that much."

"Then, we'll move back. Do you think you could get your apartment back? I can always move in with Mom-"

"I thought we'd move in together," Spike interrupted. "We're going to be all summer...I thought it would continue on."

"Oh, yeah. That works, too."

"We can find our own place, you know? Start from scratch, have it be completely ours."

"That sounds nice," she agreed, removing her hand from Spike's and wrapping her arm around his waist. "There's plenty of towns around, I could always commute."

"You want to marry me?" Buffy stopped walking and unwrapped herself from him. She stood in front of him, not saying anything and waited for him to continue. "Not answering is really killing my momentum, pet."

"It's...We haven't even lived together, yet, Spike. I mean, you have no idea about any of my quirky little habits. You may find them completely annoying and unlovable. Sure, they may seem cute at first but after a while, you may become so aggravated-"

"Like what? Give me a for instance."

"Uh...oh, okay! Like you never put your clothes in the hamper, you never hang up your precious leather coat which I would think you'd want to do, you're always leaving the bottle caps to your beer around. I'm telling you, if I step on one more of those things-"

"Buffy," Spike broke into her litany. "Those are my annoying habits."

Buffy blushed and shrugged it off. "I think we should do this living together thing first before we decide on something that definite for our future."

"I'm not saying we get married tomorrow or even in six months. And you're talking like it's not going to work when its been working just fine for the last three years."

"I'm not saying that! It's a whole level of commitment that I'm not sure I'm ready for. Getting a place together and moving to L.A. is pretty big news. It's all I can really take at the moment. An engagement...the idea throws me into a weird emotional upset."

"The idea of being with me for the rest of our lives throws you into an emotional upset?" Spike asked, trying to mask his hurt by not looking at her.

"Stop twisting my words around. That's not what I meant. What we're doing tomorrow is a huge step for us, for me. I know you're all gung-ho for it and don't look at me like I'm not because I am. I'm so excited that I can barely contain myself but there is a large part of me that is scared."

"Of what?" he asked, quietly. He lifted his hand to her head and began to lightly stroke her hair.

"Of this. Moving in, embarking on this whole thing. That you will see me every day, almost twenty-four hours a day, our only breaks being work and school and you'll realize...never mind, I can't do this now." Buffy turned but he quickly followed, stopping in front of her and grasping her hands.

"No, not never mind. Tell me. I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

"But I'm not a big girl, Spike. I may play at it but I'm still just this girl whose father left her with a shitload of baggage. What if...what if after we do this and you see me, I mean really see me...you realize that I'm not the girl you want? That your illusion of me, this Buffy that I've shown you doesn't live up to the real thing."

"Are you saying that after knowing you for four years and being my lady for last three, that I don't know you? Bullocks."

"This isn't something you can just bullocks off, Spike. I'm serious. You have no idea-"

"I have an idea. I see you with perfect clarity, Buffy. You apparently think I don't but I do. I've seen all there is to you. The good, the bad, the ugly-"

"There's ugly?"

"Bad attempt at a joke. One of my annoying quirks." Buffy looked at him and smiled thinly. "You're the one, Buffy. You were made for me and I like to think I was for you. I have never known any one like you. You surprise me, confuse me, make me think, make me feel, make me hard at the thought of you. If you honestly believe that I don't know every inch of you inside and out, then I don't know what we've been doing these last few years."

"Spike-"

"No, we all have our baggage, luv. I have my fair share, believe me. But I look at you and I find comfort from the storm. Some days are hard but I have you and the smallest touch or a smile can set my nerves at ease. And if you don't feel even the tiniest bit of that-"

"I do," she interrupted quietly, and then repeated, louder and clearer, "I do, Spike." She stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his back, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for," he said against her neck where he had buried his face. He held on to her tighter and let out a sigh. "I don't want to scare you off. I won't mention it again."

Buffy removed her head from his shoulder and looked at him, puzzled. "Ever?"

"Not for a long time, alright?" Buffy nodded. He let her go, grabbing her hand again and began to walk. "We should head home. Still have a lot of things to pack up before we leave."

"You were, you know."

"What?"

"Made for me," she said softly and then looked at him with a big smile on her face, which he eagerly returned. She broke her hand from his and ran a few feet in front. "Come on! I'll race you to the car. Whoever wins, gets a...cookie."

"You're on, pet. But I'll give you a head start first. At least give you the impression that you may win." She stuck out her tongue and turned, running off. "Always surprising me," he mumbled as he took off after her.

-------------------------

Buffy opened the door to their apartment, immediately kicking off her shoes as she shut the door. She yawned and adjusted her far too heavy book bag. She heaved it onto the table and went to the kitchen and grabbed a water from the refrigerator. She threw herself down on the couch and blindly reached for the remote control.

"Want this?" Buffy yelped in surprise and threw her water bottle on instinct. She looked to see Angel, picking the bottle from the floor and rubbing his shoulder. "You always did have good aim."

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'll live, probably. I could go into traction later on, though."

"Well, just send me the hospital bill," Buffy retorted. "So...what are you doing here besides scaring the hell out of me?"

"Waiting for Spike. We're doing a job tonight."

"Together?" Buffy asked, not able to contain her surprise.

"Yeah, it's big so I didn't want him to go it alone. And now that's it only the two of us, with Gunn helping when he feels like it and Cordy not wanting field work..."

"I'm sorry to hear about your friend Doyle. Spike said he was a really nice man."

"That he was," Angel confirmed, a distant look in his eye. Buffy tentatively reached out her hand and patted his arm lightly in an effort to give him some comfort. He looked at her arm in shock and looked back at her, visibly shaking whatever he was feeling off. "It's too bad you only met him that one time. You would have liked him."

"I'm sure I would have. Cordy seemed to think he was...interesting."

"Was he ever in love with her," Angel said with a chuckle, gesturing to the couch. Buffy nodded and tucked her legs under her. "But you know Cordy...she can be very stubborn at times. I thought after dating Xander...Doyle would be a pretty good catch."

"Hey, that's one of my best friend's your talking about," she laughed, playfully hitting him on the arm. He mockingly lifted his hand to the place she hit and made a face of pain that only caused her to giggle more. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he said too quickly. "It's never easy...losing someone but it happens."

"Sounds like a really healthy way of closing off your emotions and not dealing." The surprise in his eyes made her instantly feel guilty. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I mean, we're not friendly enough for me to be saying that-"

"We used to be," he said, quietly.

"It was different then."

"Now we don't date...but we were friends."

"It won't be too hard?"

"Not for me. I'd like us to at least try. I know you...love him and that...that makes me happy for you. It's what I wanted you to have."

Buffy studied him a moment and nodded her head. "Okay, then we'll give it a go. It will definitely make things easier with Spike and Cordy working for you."

"They work with me, not for me," Angel amended.

"You must be like one of the best bosses ever. Unlike my egotistical, self-righteous, 100-year old boss who thinks all women should only be there to serve coffee, make copies, answer phones, and whatever other menial task he can find. Oh, the cleaning. Let's not forget the cleaning."

"Cleaning?"

"Yeah, he's too cheap to hire a cleaning staff so he makes the office administration staff do it. It's usually me because I'm just a part-timer and so..."

"Not loving the job. Got it. How's school?"

"It is by far one of the best classes I've ever taken. She makes everything seem really simple and it's the little things she teaches and the way she interacts with us that makes me all the more eager to get into the game myself."

"I think Spike told me your test is in three weeks?"

"Yup, three more weeks of L.A. and then we're heading back to the 'dale."

"And Willow?"

"She's staying here. That girl has stamina, let me tell you. She's double-backing all her courses, taking a full year of classes, even over the winter break and taking the rest of the classes in the summer. She wants her degree and she wanted it yesterday. Plus, Tara found this cool art program that she's concentrating on so they won't be going back with us."

"That'll make Cordelia happy. She's always complaining about no one being around. If we hadn't met Lorne, I don't know what she would have done."

"I still hold out that they'll all come back home someday. It's just sad when everyone moves away."

"And Xander?"

"He asked Anya to move in with him. I'm sure the wedding will happen any day now," Buffy said with a smile. "And what about you? Any ladies on the horizon?"

"Me? No."

"Why do you sound so shocked by the concept?"

"I'm too busy with work and it's not really something I want to talk about," Angel finished curtly.

"Okay, we will stay clear of that topic."

"I'm going to run across the way and get a coffee. If Spike ever decides to come out of the bathroom, could you tell him where to find me?" Buffy nodded. "Okay, well, it was good talking to you."

"Yeah, it was," Buffy agreed warmly. "We'll have to do it again before we move back."

"You can count on it." He gave her a wave and was out the door.

Buffy got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom. "You can come out now. He went to get coffee." Spike slowly opened the door and smiled. "Thank you."

"Figured the two of you had some catching up to do. Didn't want to interrupt."

"I appreciate that and that," she said, her eyes skimming over his body, which only had a towel, wrapped around it. "Will I ever get tired of seeing you like this?"

He smirked and stepped past her, walking over to the long closet that lined the wall. He grabbed a maroon shirt and black pants and quickly put them on. Buffy sighed loudly and he looked at her. "Now, now, pet. You know I have to work tonight. Can't be shagging you 'til the wee hours of the morning."

"I don't know why I was so worried about us being together too much and getting on each other's nerves. I hardly get to see you," she whined as she walked over to him. When she reached him, she took over the task of buttoning his shirt.

"I know but we need to have the money for the new place so I'm taking all the time I can get while Angel's offering it and you have been non-stop with the class and that bastard you work for. We'll have time soon enough." He placed a light kiss on her forehead before bending down to grab his boots.

"If my calculations are correct, and I like to think that they are, I've missed out on about hundred and fifteen orgasms this summer."

He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "A hundred and fifteen? You trying to kill me, Buffy?"

"Well, it is like a small death or so they say..."

"You're scaring me. You're channeling Anya and I have to say, it's a bit frightening. Besides, we still-"

"I know we still but I want to have more stills. Don't you miss the stills?" Buffy asked, pouting a bit.

"I miss all of you, not just the still." He stood up and loosely wrapped his arms around her waist. "We'll have plenty of time to make up for it in three weeks, right?"

"I suppose," Buffy grumbled. "Can you at least take Saturday off? Maybe we can go out on a date?"

"I'll see what I can do but now I best be going before Peaches pops a blood vessel in that over-gelled head of his." He let go of her, grabbed his duster from the coat rack and moved to the door. "I don't know when I'll be back. Don't stay up too late."

"Don't I get a kiss?" Spike walked back to her and quickly kissed her on the lips. Buffy's mouth dropped open when he backed away again. "That's it? You stink."

"If I start kissing you, I'll want to keep kissing you and I have to go. Later, luv, I promise."

"Yeah, yeah. Be careful." Spike winked at her and went out the door. "Might as well do that worksheet."

-------------------------

"Buffy, the reservations are at seven. If we want to make, move that cute ass of yours," Spike said to the bathroom door.

"Jeez, can't a girl get ready for her first date with her boyfriend in months without being pestered?" she answered. "Five seconds."

"I'm holding you to that, pet." He walked away from the door and sat on the couch, tapping his hands on his thighs to an imaginary beat. The bathroom door opened and Buffy stepped out. He thought his heart stopped and he knew his eyes bulged out of and his mouth fell open. She had spent the rest of her day trying to hunt down the perfect dress. By his reaction, she mentally clapped herself on the back. The dress was a vibrant blue that clung to her curves in all the right places. The top scalloped down, the fabric gathering in a couple of layers and accentuating her cleavage. The back had a small v-cut that showed off her shoulder blades which she hoped would encourage him to run his fingers over. It came to a stop right below her knees and the material swayed beautifully when she walked.

"You like?" She laughed a little as she spun around. "You're taking me dancing, by the way."

"I'll take you anywhere you want to go." He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her feet of the ground. "You smell good."

"It's that perfume you bought me for Valentine's Day," she told him, giggling. "Put me down."

"Don't want to. Why don't you just wrap those legs around me-"

"What about dinner?" Buffy asked, interrupting.

"I can feast off you."

"Nope, we're going out on a date. End of story." Spike reluctantly placed her back on the floor and loosed his grip around her. "Plus, anticipation makes it that much sweeter, right?"

"Sod anticipation," he grumbled.

"You're such a baby," she said, pinching his cheek playfully.

Dinner was spent in a small Italian restaurant that Cordelia had suggested. They both felt like they hadn't talked about life since they moved here and the evening was spent catching up with one another. They laughed, they touched teasingly, they fed one another, which Spike rolled his eyes at before doing it and when the time came to leave, they felt like they were a unit again. Buffy clutched his hand tightly as they made their way across the parking lot to the small club. He leaned down and lightly kissed her head.

"You sure you want to go dancing?" he asked.

"Heck yeah," she laughed. "Will said this place is great. Small, intimate, great music...good for swaying sensually against each other..."

"Great music, eh?" She bumped against him playfully for ignoring the last part of the sentence. "What kind of music? Probably nothing I like."

"I can say that probably none of the bands that are played have bit heads off of a bat or carved Nancy across their chest before going on stage, but give it a chance. Sexy dancing..." she said, trying to entice him. It worked.

"Alright but if it's really sappy, it's my music on the entire trip back to Sunnydale."

"But...sexy dancing!"

He laughed. "No, not going to work."

"Yeah, but you'll just say you hate it so we'll have to listen to The Buzzdicks or whatever."

"It's The Buzzcocks, luv, and no, I won't." She shot him an disbelieving look and walked through the door. "I won't."

"We'll just see about that."

"We'll see how good your sexy dance is before any decisions are made," he said, smirking.

"Ooohhh, I get it. My sexy dance will have you panting. Believe you me. Hi!" she greeted the bouncer cheerfully.

"I.D."

"I have one of those!"

The bouncer looked at her strangely and as Buffy dug into her purse, Spike said, "She only got her license a couple of months ago. She's still very excited."

"Gotcha." He looked at their licenses, handed them back, stamped their hand and took Spike's money. "You two look like you're on a date."

"That we are," Buffy said, wrapping her arm around Spike's waist.

"If you want a little bit of privacy, there are some open booths in the back. They say reserved but take this yellow card and go sit."

"Thanks, mate," Spike said as he took it.

"That's really nice of you," Buffy said.

"Don't tell anyone that," the bouncer warned with a warm smile. Both nodding to the man in understanding, they made their way in.

"Live band?" Spike asked, surprised.

"Yup," she answered as she slid into the rounded booth. Spike placed the card on the table and sat down. Buffy lifted her leg and placed it on top of his. She picked up a postcard shaped announcement and said, "Their name is...Darling Violetta. I like her voice."

"I like your leg," he told her as he put his hands on her thigh and rubbed it softly.

"Do you want to spin me around the dance floor a couple of times so then we can get this part of the date over with and you can take me home and spin me around the bed a lot of times?" Buffy asked, innocently.

"Can I get you a drink?" Both looked at the waitress, a little startled.

Spike cleared his throat. "Draft, I don't care. Luv?"

"Sex on the beach," Buffy answered, looking at him.

"Oh-kay. I'll get that for you."

"What are you playing at?" Spike asked, moving his face closer to hers.

"Just building up that anticipation."

"Watch it, missy or I'll drag you in the bathroom and bang-"

"Like I'd have sex in a bathroom!"

"You had sex in an alley a few short months ago."

"That was impulsive," she tried to justify.

"Anytime you're feeling impulsive..." he whispered in her ear, running his fingers up her thigh and under her dress.

"Here you go," the waitress interrupted and Spike whipped his hand back so fast that it hit the underside of the table hard. She quickly put the drinks on the table. "Thirteen even." Spike handed her the cash and she practically ran away.

"You think we scared her?" Buffy wondered.

"Jealous. They're all jealous," he said as he kissed her neck.

"Your hand okay?" She lifted it to her lips and kissed it gently.

"Feeling better."

"It's still usable, right?"

"You have plans for my hand?"

"I always have plans for these hands," she said with a smile.

"Fuck the dancing, we're going home." He grabbed her hand and pulled them out of the booth.

"One dance. Please?" she asked, sticking out her bottom lip.

"You owe me," he told her as he led her to the dance floor.

"How would you like to be paid, Mr. Smith?" Spike only smirked at her and wrapped his arms around her. Five dances later and the longest drive home he could remember, Spike finally received his payment.

------------------

"We really appreciate the help, Xander," Buffy said, hugging her friend.

"If that were true, you would pay him for helping," Anya put in.

"No, Anya, that's not what we do," Xander tried to explain.

"Well, that's stupid. Here you are, carrying boxes up the stairs to help them move into their new apartment and what do I get?"

"A sweaty Xander?" Buffy asked, hoping that would spark her interest.

"Very good point, Buffy," Anya agreed.

"Besides, Anya, if we ever move, they are obligated to help us...for free," Xander told her. She smiled brightly at him and then at Buffy. "Saving money or getting money...works every time. Tell Spike I'll give him a call later."

"Will do. Thanks again!" she called, waving to the retreating couple. Buffy plopped herself onto the couch and sighed.

"Tired, pet?"

"Exhausted. Two and half hour drive and moving all on the same day? I'm not doing it again."

"Won't need to for the time being," he said, laying down, resting his head on her thigh. "I think we'll be here for a while, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah, but hopefully we can get something a little bigger some day. I'd like to have a guest room in case anyone wants to visit us."

"Missing Willow and Tara already?"

"I can't help it! Will and I have been practically inseparable since I moved here. It's just hard. It'll be okay."

"I have some news that might cheer you up." Buffy raised her eyebrow in question. "Angel hired someone new and Gunn has finally taken a job. I have weekends off now."

"Are you serious?" she asked, her excitement not at all contained.

Spike nodded and smiled. "I only asked for Saturdays but he said I could have Sunday, too, but if he needs me, I have to work. But he shouldn't need me that much."

"Why'd you ask for Saturday's off?"

"After that date of ours, I decided I wanted to do that every Saturday."

"That is one of the nicest things you've ever said to me." Buffy leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead. "It doesn't bother you that Angel and I have become friends again, does it?"

"Where's the coming from?"

"I don't know...I mean I've gone out to lunch with him a bunch of times and you've never said anything. I'm wondering if it's okay."

"If I say no..."

"Well, I'll tell you to get over it." They laughed and she continued, "Look, I like being friends with him again without all that love crap hanging over our heads. We were always able to talk about things...maybe not about us but we could. I like him being back in my life in a non-stressful way. But if you're not comfortable-"

"Buffy, it's fine," Spike interrupted. "I'm not jumping up and down for joy but I understand it. My only hesitation is, uh-"

"What? Is what?" Buffy asked, impatiently.

"Are you sure he's over you?"

"God, yes. It's been years-"

"But he hasn't moved on to another chit-"

"He seems to be really busy with work and everything. Maybe he's trying to establish a life for himself before he falls in love again."

"Or he could still be hung up on you and-"

"And nothing. I love you. I don't know why you need justification all of a sudden but you're the man I love. Not Angel. Not ever again." Her hand went to his hair and she stroked through it lightly. "Besides, he's so over it. It'd be pretty silly to hold on to something that he left."

Spike looked at her, furrowing his brow. He didn't believe it. He didn't dislike the man but he didn't trust him. He particularly didn't trust his past feelings for Buffy. "If you say so."

"I say so. Our rest is over. We have tons of stuff to do," she said, nudging his shoulders and lifting him off her. "The sooner we get it done, the sooner we can sit back and enjoy our new home."

Spike nodded and sat all the way up. He watched her walk down the hall, not liking the feeling in his stomach. He knew he shouldn't press the Angel issue. He trusted her with everything that he was but he didn't, and doubted he ever would, trust Angel. It was becoming more apparent that it would be something that Spike would simply have to come to terms with. Unwillingly, of course.

End Flashback

********************


	26. 26

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

********************

**Chapter 26**

"Tell them to go away. We have pressing business to attend oh bugger," Spike said as he rounded the corner and saw Angel standing there. Buffy suppressed her giggle at the sight of him. His hair was in disarray, the top button of his jeans were undone and he had no shirt on. Spike looked at Buffy and smirked at the expression on her face. "Didn't want to put on what I was only going to take off again."

Buffy laughed despite her best efforts not to and walked over to him. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Spike looked at Angel who was watching them and dropped his gaze when his eyes met Spike's. He nodded and turned to go down the hall.

As soon as Buffy closed the door behind them, Spike was on her. He pushed her against the door, his lips attacking hers in a ferocious kiss that stole Buffy's breath from her. Her hands went to his back and pushed him harder against her, slightly digging her nails into his skin. They broke away, breathing heavy and stared into each other's eyes.

"I need to talk to him," Buffy panted out.

"Yeah, I know."

"Alone." Spike went to protest but she cut him off with another kiss. "Now you can either stay in here and try to eavesdrop or we will leave the apartment. Which do you prefer?"

"Neither," he grumbled.

"Spike..."

"You're not bloody going anywhere with that wanker. I'll stay in here and behave myself."

"Do you know how much I adore you?" Buffy asked before lightly kissing him again. She gently pushed him away from her and nervously ran a hand through her hair. "Do I look like we've been kissing?"

Spike took in her flushed skin and slightly puffy, reddened lips and shook his head. "No, he'll never know."

"Okay," she breathed in deeply, letting it out and put her hand on the doorknob. She turned her head slightly and said, "I love you" before heading out to Angel.

Spike threw himself on the bed, laid his arm across his eyes and tried to remain as calm as possible. _This is not going to be easy._

-----------------------------

_This is not going to be easy_ she thought as she re-entered the kitchen. She took a seat at the table and looked at Angel. He continued to stand there and she rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to sit? You're the one who wanted to talk." She didn't mean for her voice to have such a hard edge to it but she was fairly pissed off about this entire situation. What had been shock, turned into fear of it being her fault and now it was anger. She tried for it to not be but there it was just the same. So instead of fighting it, she decided to embrace it and he would tell her exactly what the hell he was thinking.

He finally sat down and put his forearms on the table. His fingers intertwined in front of him and he bent his head. "I'm not sure what to say."

"Yeah, well, say something or this conversation could be the shortest we've ever had."

"What did Spike tell you?"

"Why don't you tell me what you said to Spike?" Buffy asked, turning the tables. She wasn't going to allow him to try and pin this on Spike. Not that she thought that was his intention but one question leads one way and then suddenly there's badness. She wanted to try and keep Spike as far away from this as possible. It had nothing to do with him and she wouldn't allow Angel to spin it in that direction.

"I think you already know."

"You're right but pretend I don't."

"Buffy, it just slipped out. I didn't mean anything by it-"

"Bullshit, Angel, and you know it. Don't do that. Don't lie about it. You'll only make it worse," she said, her voice surprising her with its steadiness.

"I didn't...Jesus, this is impossible," he sighed, slouching down in his chair.

"Answer me a question." Angel nodded for her to continue. "Back when we lived in L.A. and we became friends again...did you do that because you still had feelings for me and you wanted to see what could happen? Or did you just want to be friends with me no matter what? Help me out here, Angel, because I'm really having a hard time understanding your logic these past few years."

"No, I knew...I mean, I know you love Spike. I just...I wanted you in my life again," he told her, his voice growing softer as he finished the sentence.

Buffy felt her expression soften after his admission and she reached out her hand to pat his. He looked at their hands briefly, the surprise on his face evident, before he looked back down. 

"You should have said something when we asked you to be a part of the wedding."

"What was I going to say, Buffy? I can't be an usher because I haven't let go in ten years? It's pathetic enough that I know...now that everyone else knows..."

"Who gives a rat's ass about everyone else? This is something we either need to work out and move on from or just let our friendship go. Since you're the one with the...issue...you need to make up your mind."

"What about you?"

"If you mean, what do I think? I think I enjoy having you as my friend and I have for the past six years. Honestly, I'm a bit wigged out by this sudden revelation but I can deal with it if we, meaning you and me, deal with it."

"And Spike?"

"I love him but he has no say here. I'll gladly listen to his opinion on the matter but he does not dictate what I do in my life, just as I don't for him. That's not how we work," Buffy explained.

"I can't be a part of it."

"Fine, that's your decision. I respect that."

"That's it?"

"Well, yeah. What do you expect me to do, Angel? Beg you to be a part of something you don't want to be a part of? That's not going to happen and you should know that."

"I'm not going to attend at all."

Buffy removed her hand from his and glared at him. "You're not going to come at all?"

"I can't. I'm sorry," Angel said quietly.

"You're unfuckingbelievable, you know that?" She jumped out of her chair. Her control on her temper flew out the window. _Oh, well._ The look of shock on his face at her total attitude change made her happy. "We've built his great friendship and this whole time you've been what? Still in love with me? You gave Spike a job, we asked you to be in our wedding...all this shit that you...I don't even know. And now, suddenly, you can't do them anymore? You can't even come to be with your friends and celebrate?"

He stood up as well and finally looked her in the eye. "I can't celebrate something I'm not happy about."

"That's...that's argh! That is the most asinine thing you could have possibly said!" She took a calming breath and lowered her voice. She had no doubt that Spike could hear them and she didn't want to cause an even bigger uproar. "What about Darla?"

"That's not the issue."

"It certainly is part of the issue."

"Then what about Spike?"

"Oh, no. It doesn't work that way. See, you're in love with me or whatever it is you think you are. I'm not with you. I love Spike. Love him with everything that I am, Angel. And Darla is just some innocent, and I can't believe I'm using that word in regards to her, bystander who is pregnant with your child."

"She has no delusions about our life together."

"Then she should leave you because all that will happen is that you will fuck up that child's life."

"Who do you think you are passing judgment on me?" Angel asked, angrily.

"I'm the problem in your perfect family picture. If you don't love her, don't give her false hope. That is so much crueler than if you just told her to leave."

"I never said I didn't love her-"

"Are you in love with her?" Buffy interrupted.

"None of your business."

"You're making it my business, Angel. Don't you see that? You're little slip last night...it caused all this. It's made everything uncomfortable. I thought we could discuss it and move on but I'm not sure that's even possible at this point," she said, sadly. "Maybe we should step away from this. Give it the time it needs to settle before we say something even more damaging."

"That sounds like the best thing to do. I am sorry, Buffy."

"I know you are," she said, holding his gaze, trying to get him to see that she wasn't angry with him. What she felt and her reactions to things were her confusion and surprise. Okay, there was a little anger but nothing that couldn't be dealt with in few days time.

"Will you tell Spike that I didn't mean what I said about his job? He's still expected to call Monday for any news."

Buffy's mouth opened in shock. "Did you threaten his job?"

"It was...I was angry. I didn't mean it. Don't tell him but he's the best I've got. He knows his job inside and out. We'd be in trouble if we lost him."

"Thank you for saying that."

"I still don't like him though," Angel joked, a small smirk on his lips.

Buffy smiled and shook her head. This was the Angel she knew and liked. "I don't think he's all that fond of you, either."

"It's good we have that sort of understanding." Angel turned to the door and opened it. "I don't know what else to say."

"We'll figure it out somehow, Angel. Whatever happens, I still have memories of a really good and important friendship."

"I feel the same way," he told her.

"This is really all on you, then. You need to think about whether you can continue to be my friend because I know I can still be yours." He gave her a nod and walked out, closing the door softly. She backed up against the wall and slid down to the floor. She rested her elbows on her bent knees and put her face in her hands. She was drained. She felt emotionally spent. There was still so much more to say, to work through but she couldn't do it anymore. She wasn't even sure if she would ever be ready to continue the conversation. She sighed heavily and rubbed her palms into her eyes.

Buffy felt him beside her but she didn't give any notice that she had. Spike slid down next to her and wrapped his arm around her hunched over shoulders. She leaned into him, resting her head on his chest and swinging her legs around to rest over his. Comfort, warmth, strength. All these things she needed right then and he was there as he always was. As he always would be. Her hand went to his stomach and she traced circles around his belly button causing his muscles to flinch.

"You still don't have a shirt on."

"Keeping hope alive that we'd continue but..." Spike trailed off.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize for that blighter. I won't have it."

"How much did you hear?"

"The shouting. Everything else sounded like Charlie Brown's mother." Buffy giggled and he smiled along with her.

"In that case, I am impressed with the amount of self-control you used."

"Touch and go for a minute there," he admitted.

"Well, I'm proud of you. And I thank you for letting us talk."

"Just doing my job. And if I may add, unhappily."

"Unneeded add-on."

"I don't want to seem like I'm changing the subject-"

"But you are..."

"Yeah, I am. Did you see the mail today?"

"No...why?" she asked, her voice full of hesitation.

"I think we got a very important wedding gift," Spike answered, tapping her hand lightly with an envelope.

"What is it?" She grabbed the letter and sat up. Buffy looked at the envelope's return address and frowned. "If this is another menu from Andrew, I'm going to kill him. I'll decide the menu when I decide the freaking menu!"

"Will you just read it," Spike said with impatience. Buffy shot him a look at the tone of his voice and he smirked as he shrugged his shoulders.

Buffy pulled the letter out of the envelope, cleared her throat dramatically and began to read out loud. "'Dearest Buffy and Spike.' Is this a joke?"

"No and you don't have to read it aloud. I've already read it."

"Well, it is addressed to Spike and Buffy Summers," she said, laughing. "Guess he hasn't gotten the memo." She handed him the letter and he raised an eyebrow in response. "Will you read it?"

"I've already read it."

"But I'm tired..."

"Quit your whining," he teased. She looked over at him and gave him her best sad face. He shook his head and smiled. "It's not going to happen."

"Fine. I'm leaving you for Angel. He'd read the let-" Before she had a chance to finish, she found herself being tackled to the floor. Her arms were pinned above her head and he loomed a few inches above her, his face set in hard glare. "Sorry, bad joke."

"Don't do it again," he warned, his voice deep with his suppressed anger.

"I can't even joke about Angel?"

"I don't want to even hear his name right now," Spike spit out.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Really. No more teasing about the evil one." When he didn't loosen his grip or look any less pissed off, Buffy began to worry. "It was a joke, Spike. How many times can I say that I love you and you're it for me?"

"A few hundred more should be just fine."

"Are you going to keep a log?" she asked with a small smile.

"This isn't funny, Summers."

"Yeah, it kind of is. Could you be more overly right now? God, you act like I was actually serious. You cannot be jealous or worried about him after all this time."

"I feel what I feel."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Nine years, Spike. Nine years of me loving you, adoring you...I practically worship you and you're still unsure of me?"

"No, I didn't say-"

"Well, then what do you mean?" Buffy asked, not hiding her anger.

"I...I don't know," he conceded. He looked away from her and loosened the grip on her wrists. She ripped her hands free, grabbed his face and turned him to look at her. "I'm acting like a fool, I know."

"Do you trust me?"

"More than anything."

"Then there's no need to be jealous," Buffy tried to reason.

He shook his head and said, "I don't trust him."

"Why?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Isn't it obvious, Buffy? He's not over what you had together. He's been lying for all these years."

"And that makes a difference why?"

"It makes a bloody difference!"

"It doesn't change anything, Spike. He's well aware that it's creepy and he's not exactly loving himself because of it."

"I don't give a shit how he's feeling about it. And, yes, it changes everything, pet. Don't you see that?"

"What I see is an unjustified display of jealousy and testosterone. You both need to let it go."

"Can't, luv. Not right now," he told her as he got up. He went into the living room and came back with his shirt on. "I need to go out for a bit."

"Wait, where are you going? We're in the middle something here." She hoisted herself off the floor and stood before him. "You can't just leave."

"Are you still going to be his friend?"

"That has yet to be determined," Buffy answered.

He rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw, letting out a huff of air in his anger. "Wrong answer, Buffy."

"This is insane, Spike. You can't possibly think-"

"I don't know what I think anymore." He turned from her, grabbed his coat and went to the door. "I'll be back later."

"What the hell just happened?" she asked no one as the door slammed shut.

------------------------

Dawn had smiled when she saw Spike walk into The Green Room and take a seat at the bar but it had now faded when she saw that Buffy never come in after him and he was currently working on his second beer and third shot of whiskey.

"Oh, brother," she mumbled. "Clem, can I get an onion blossom, please?"

"Sure thing! I don't have a receipt for it, though..."

"I'm going to put it in and pay for it now. It's entirely on the up and up."

"I trust you, Dawn, but you know how Cordelia can get when everything doesn't match up."

"I'm still learning the ropes around here but that I understood right off the bat. You don't need to tell me about Cordy's wrath."

"Right, bar fight. That's what stinks about being the cook. I miss all the good happenings."

"Well, it wasn't really much of a happening..."

"Are you working tomorrow night? It's taste testing night."

"No, I have an early class on Monday. What kind of testing?"

"I make all different dishes to see what will be featured on the specials and we rate them. It's a good time. I usually do it on Friday but Cordelia wasn't able to make it."

"I've heard a rumor about an after-work poker game on Fridays," Dawn commented.

"I can neither confirm nor deny," Clem said with a wink.

"Oh, is it a guy thing? Would I be treading?"

"No, it's an illegal kind of thing. So, of course, we would never do anything like that."

"Of course," she agreed, flashing him a knowing smile.

"I like you, Dawn. You seem like a good kid. Hope you stick around for a bit. Here's your order."

She picked up a cloth and grabbed the onion blossom with it. "Thanks a lot, Clem. I'll get you that receipt."

Spike drained the last of his beer and went to put the bottle down when he saw the snack in front of him. He turned his head slightly and saw Dawn looking at him with a smug smile on her face. He rolled his eyes and tapped the bottle on the counter. It was quickly replaced with another and he held it up in Dawn's direction in a silent toast.

"What did you do?" Dawn asked.

"I didn't do anything," Spike told her, not hiding his annoyance. He picked at the blossom with a scowl on his face. When Dawn didn't respond, he quickly glanced at her and found that classic Summers' look. He sighed heavily and said, "I've fucked up."

"It didn't take a genius to figure that one out, Spike. What did you do?"

"I acted like a complete tosser."

"I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on. You two were your normal sickeningly sweet selves when we went shopping this after...oh."

"Oh? What is it with you and your sister and your ohs?"

"Angel-oh."

"Oh is right," he muttered. "You see where I'm coming from, don't you, Nibblet?"

"I don't know what happened so I can't tell you what I see."

"She's going to continue to be friends with him. Didn't you tell me that she wouldn't?"

"I think I said 'reconsider' but I can't be positive. That was like seven hours ago. So she talked to him?"

"He came to the apartment all gelled-up and puppy eyes. Your sister still loves him," he declared before gulping down the rest of his beer. He went to tap the counter but Dawn grabbed the bottle.

"You're not drinking yourself into a stupor because you're being an idiot. Buffy does not love Angel. You're being ridiculous and if you acted like this when you talked to her, no wonder you two go into a fight."

"It's over."

"What's over?" Dawn asked, confused.

"Us. She loves the poofy man," he bowed his head to the counter and the suddenly shot up. "Which is fine! Yeah! Because now I can be my own man. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and I won't have to deal with your sister's looks which you can duplicate far too well."

Dawn raised an eyebrow and turned to the bartender. "Chris, how much has he had to drink?"

"Four beers, six shots."

"When did you drink all that?" Dawn asked, not expecting to get an answer. "Can I get a glass of water?"

"Don't want no sodding water. Mate, oi, another beer." Dawn stood back from him a bit and raised her hand at her throat to signal Chris to cut him off.

"Sorry, Spike. There's a limit."

"Right, the Summers' limit." He got out the chair and staggered a bit. "Thanks for the blossom, Onion. No, I mean thanks for the onion, Blossom."

"Cute. Not at all annoying." Dawn heard her bell ring signaling that her order was done. "Spike, take a seat. I'll be back. I have to do my job." Spike grumbled and sat back down at the bar. She motioned for Chris to follow her down to the end of the bar. She scribbled on her pad and tore the paper off, handing it to Chris. "I need you to call this number. It's Buffy. Tell her she needs to come pick Spike up."

"Are you talking about me?" they heard Spike yell.

"Stop playing the paranoid drunkard," Dawn told him. "He can't know so if keeping him in beers will get him to stay here, do that."

"You're sure?"

"Trust me. He walked here. Spike was on a mission to get drunk. He wouldn't have driven his car."

"Okay, I'll call her now."

"Thanks, Chris."

"I'm a bartender not a civil servant," he mumbled as he dialed the phone number. "Buffy? Hi, this is Chris...down at The Green Room?"

--------------------------

Buffy walked into the bar and saw Spike slumped over the counter, his head resting in his hand. She shook her head and started to walk over to him when a hand enclosed around her arm, stopping her.

"It took you long enough to get here."

"He's not the only one who's angry, Dawn," Buffy said, tightly and yanked her arm back. "He's acting like a two year old."

"He thinks you're going to leave him for Angel."

"See? Two year old. I was only kidding."

"You actually said that to him? Jesus, Buffy, has your brain leaked out today? You don't joke about going back to exes when a) they're still in love with you and b) when you date Spike who is abnormally jealous of every man that comes in contact with you."

"I am going to marry that lovable asshole in a couple of months. I haven't spent all this time building something to go back to Angel," Dawn flinched at the disgust Buffy said Angel's name with, "What do you people think I am? It's not my fault that he still has feelings."

"But I think that's the problem, Buffy. He left you. You were left loving him and heartbroken. Then you become friends with him again and now, even knowing what you know, you don't want to give that up. And look at him," Dawn pointed at Spike, "He's completely miserable because of it. Is it worth all this? Is Angel being in your life worth making your life with Spike all nutty? Because from where I stand, it's a big no. Think about how you would feel if he was so adamant about staying friends with his first love? Do you think he doesn't think that if Angel hadn't left because of his own issues, that you would still be with him? Can you imagine what that must be like for Spike?"

"God, you annoy me when you're being intuitive." Buffy ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "If I have to let him go, I will because I don't need this bullshit." She turned from her sister and stalked to the bar. She grabbed Spike by the sleeve of his jacket and yanked him around to look at her. He smiled goofily at her before his eyes went wide at seeing the angry expression on her face.

"Buffy-"

"Pay and get your ass in the car."

He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her between his knees, pressing her against this body. "Luv, I'm sorry."

"I don't want drunk apologies, Spike." Her hand went to the inside of his duster and pulled out the money clip. She grabbed the check from the counter and gawked at the total. She turned to find Dawn standing behind her. "How much did you let him drink?"

"Whatever it took to keep him here."

"Brilliant," Buffy sighed as she threw fifty dollars on the bar.

"I didn't put the onion blossom on there," Dawn pointed out.

"That's great, Dawn. He just spent forty dollars on liquor. Fantastic."

"Sarcastic Buffy. Turns me on," Spike said, his hand grabbing onto her backside.

"Spike, stop it."

"All Buffy turns me on. Did you know that, Bit?"

"Thankfully, no."

"Just a look from her and I feel very randy."

"That's...great, Spike. Can you two please go now? I think you're starting to freak out the remaining customers," Dawn stated.

"Me? I haven't even...never mind, not important. Next time, call me before he drinks the entire bar." Buffy grabbed his arm and swung it over her shoulder. "Ready, Randy?"

Spike hiccupped in response and bent down to smell Buffy's hair. "Mmm. Nice."

"Great, it's the monosyllabic stage of his drunkenness. You're so going to get it for this, Spike," Buffy threatened as they made their way to the door.

"You promise?"

"Even drunk, you still manage to pull off the innuendo."

"It's a gift."

--------------------------------

"Sit up."

"Can't."

"Fine, then you're sleeping in your duster, your jeans, your boots...and on the floor," Buffy told him. He lifted his head off the bed and sighed. "Do you need help?"

"No! I can take off my own clothes." He sat up and struggled to get out of his coat. When he began to growl in anger, Buffy put her hand on his shoulder to still him. She reached for the lapels and began to move it down his shoulder when he stopped her. "I said I can do it."

"You spent two minutes looking like you were being attacked by leather. Just let me help you."

"No, Buffy! I can do it. I'm not a fucking invalid. I don't need you to take care of me, you know? I'm not some pussy whipped git who can't go on without you. I can bloody well do it on my own."

"Pussy whipped?" Buffy repeated softly. "Why are you acting like this?"

"I don't need you," he said quietly, almost to himself.

"Well, that's unfortunate because I need you." She went to the closet and pulled out her bag. She grabbed pajamas and clothes for the following day and went to the bathroom to get her toiletries. She picked up her jacket from the edge of the bed, put it on and lifted her bag to her shoulder. "I'm going someplace that's not here. Please, whatever you do, don't drink anymore tonight. Just go to bed, sleep it off and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow. Because tomorrow it will all be better." Spike let out a bitter laugh. He flitted his hand in the direction of the door. "Go, leave, run...from me...to him, whatever. Just go."

"I forgot how impossible you can be when you're drunk."

"I'm sure Angel's just a right loving sort of bastard when he is. I guess that didn't matter, though, because you still loved him after-"

She grabbed his face hard and yanked his head up. "You listen to me right now. I love you, you stupid, jealous asshole. You! Angel is of the past. I'm sorry if I haven't made that perfectly clear in the last **nine** fucking years, Spike!" She left go of his jaw and he fell back on the bed. "Spike?" She leaned over him and saw that he passed out. "Typical. Why are all my conversations today being cut short?"

She grabbed his lapels and lifted him as best she could. She pushed the coat off his shoulders and pulled his arms through the sleeves. She let him fall back on the bed and pushed him over and off the coat. She threw it onto the chair in the corner and went to work on undressing him. When she was done, Buffy maneuvered his body under the sheets and kissed him gently on the head. She went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and a plastic bin in case he got sick. Then she went to the bathroom and wet a washcloth with cold water. She looked in the mirror briefly and didn't like the red rim of her eyes from trying not to cry. Either way, it looked like she had so she might as well have just let go when he had told her he didn't need her. She knew it wasn't true, though. There was no way he could have been faking it all these years. It was improbable and so she held onto that the entire time he rambled on. When she returned to the bedroom, she saw that he had turned to his side and was snoring softly. She placed the water on the nightstand and the bucket on the floor. She undressed and climbed into the bed behind him.

"Goodnight, Spike," she whispered into his ear. She brought the cloth to his back and gently ran it up and down his back, trying to cool his overheated skin. She made the decision then that she would call Angel and tell him that he couldn't be a part of her life anymore. The jealous barbs here and there over the years were nothing like this. Tonight was an experience she didn't want to repeat. If they were going to fight, she didn't want it to be over, what she considered to be, a non issue. However, she did realize that as much as she didn't see the problem with her and Angel's friendship, it obviously bothered Spike far more than he ever let on. She couldn't, in good conscience, continue with something that hurt him that much. Their relationship had always been fair with the give and take. They prided themselves on it and if she needed to put Angel completely behind her for Spike to feel comfortable again, then she would do it. She had no other choice but to.

****************


	27. 27

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

********************

**Chapter 27**

Opening his eyes was not the best of plans as the bright morning sunlight made his head hurt even more. Spike closed them quickly and turned to lie on his back. Fragments of the night before flooded his brain. He fought with Buffy about Angel, he went to the bar, talked with Dawn, drank an obscene amount of alcohol, Buffy came to get him and then she packed a bag. Why would she...

_"I don't need you."_

_"Well, that's unfortunate because I need you."_

"Fuck," he groaned out, his voice raspy from lack of use. "Wanker."

He felt movement beside him and slowly opened his eyes and moved his head. Relief washed over him when he saw her sleeping beside him. He moved to her as best he could without causing his head to explode. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly to him, not caring if he woke her or not. All he could hear was the pain in her voice from a statement he stupidly made and didn't mean.

Buffy turned to her side, moved her hand to his back and buried her face against his chest. She didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to talk about what happened but she knew that forgetting wouldn't be an option. She wanted to stay here, half-asleep, comfortable and ignorant to the awakened world. They've had their fair share of arguments over the years but never in any of them had Spike told her he didn't need her or talk to her with such contempt in his voice. Drunken ramblings she had told herself as she waited for sleep to come to her.

"Are you awake?" she heard him ask and she nodded her head. "Don't want to be?"

"No."

"Then go back to sleep." He released his hold on her and moved away. She felt her chest constrict as he moved slowly to sit up.

"What...where...are you leaving?" she finally asked. She didn't like the sound of her voice. It reminded her too much of her time spent with Angel. Soft, meek, afraid. She didn't think she even had that girl in her anymore.

"Bathroom, aspirin, wat-" he stopped talking when he saw the water bottle on the table. "You brought me water?"

"And a bucket. You were substantially drunk."

"Do you want anything?"

_For you to come back to our bed quickly._ "No," she answered, closing her eyes again.

"Buffy, I-"

"Go do what you need to. I'm not going anywhere."

Spike rose from the bed and went to the bathroom. Buffy sighed and rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in his pillow. She had never felt more uncomfortable in his presence as she did this morning. She didn't know what he had been about to say, all she knew was that she couldn't hear it right then. She wasn't angry with him for his actions the previous night; she wasn't even angry about what he had said. It was the residual pain that was left from his statement. Although she knew it wasn't true, couldn't be true, the sting was still there.

Buffy rolled onto her back just as the phone rang. She didn't want to talk to anyone. It was probably Dawn to see how Spike was or maybe it was Angel. _Please don't let it be Angel. Please. Can't deal with him right now. It's too early to be him, right? I'll refrain from buying any new clothes for a month if it isn't him._

The answering machine beeped on and Buffy sighed in relief when she heard Dawn's voice. "Hey guys, sorry to call so early but I'm heading back to the dorm today and need a ride. Mom has gallery stuff to do and I have about three weeks of laundry to heft back-"

"Hey, Dawnie," Buffy interrupted.

"Good, you're up. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, I've just been lying here. You need a ride?"

"Can you help a sister out? Pretty please?" Dawn begged.

"Sure, what time did you want to head back?"

"Whenever it's good for you. I know it's right across town but I have way too much to bring back on the bus."

"Dawn, don't worry about. What are sisters for?"

"How's Spike doing? You two get everything worked out?"

"I don't know. We still have to talk..." Buffy didn't finish as Spike reentered the room and stood at the end of the bed. They looked at each other for a few moments until Buffy realized Dawn was talking to her again and she looked away. "What, Dawn? I didn't hear you."

"I said just remember that whatever he said or didn't say or however he acted was all induced by alcohol. Take it easy on him, Buffy."

"Yeah, I will," Buffy said, softly. Her mind was no longer on her conversation with her sister. She was trying too hard to ignore the burning look from the man at the end of the bed.

"Do you know what you're going to do about Angel?"

"Look, Dawn, I have to go. Uh, we'll talk all about it when I drive you back to the dorm. Maybe we can get a late lunch? One good meal before heading back to Sloppy Joe's and Mystery Meatloaf."

"Sure. I'll give you the brush-off pass this one time but you will talk to me about it later, right? I hate being left out on things."

"I'm well aware. I'll come to get you around 1:30." They said their goodbyes and Buffy hung up the phone. She moved over to her side of the bed and turned her back to Spike. She felt him settle back into the mattress behind her. They both lied there, neither saying anything, neither knowing where to begin. Buffy stared at the wall; Spike the ceiling and each heaved a sigh every once in a while, hoping to get the other's attention. Buffy decided that this was worse than talking it out. The silence was killing her and she had no doubt that it was having the same effects on Spike.

"Did you mean it?" she asked softly, not turning to look at him. "Just tell me you didn't mean it, Spike. Otherwise, there's something seriously wrong with us."

"No, I didn't mean it. I...it was-"

"Don't say it was the alcohol. Most of the time it acts like a truth serum so don't say that."

"Can't you look at me, luv? I don't want to have this conversation to your back."

Buffy turned onto her back and looked him out of the corner of her eyes. "This is as good as it gets." Spike sighed and she instantly felt bad. She moved onto her side with a sigh of her own and asked, "Better?"

He nodded before moving his body to face hers. He reached out slowly and ran his fingers down her face. "I'm sorry. I was a bit of a nutter last night."

"Is this all about you know who?" Buffy asked, remembering that he didn't want to hear his name last night and doubted that feeling had gone away this morning.

"I think that's fairly obvious, don't you?" Buffy closed her eyes and nodded in response. "I don't mean to make you feel badly, Buffy. And, honestly, your friendship with him has never been a problem until the other night."

"But, Spike, just because he's feeling whatever he's feeling does not mean that I feel that way."

"I know that," he said, strongly. "I know. I'm not completely off my rocker. Look, when he was only Angel, boss and friend, it wasn't anything. That nagging part in my head went away as time went by and then to hear him...He threw me for a loop."

"And I didn't help any by needing to talk to him alone," Buffy continued.

He nodded. "Or saying with the chits that you thought about life with him."

Buffy's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Then you weren't listening very well because I said even when I do consider it, you take over and all thoughts of him go right out the window."

"You say that and I hear it but-"

"But you still have trouble believing it?" she asked.

"I'm a berk," he mumbled. "It's not that I don't believe you or don't believe in us...I...I think I've been waiting for us to crash and I saw this as that moment."

"Okay, I understand what you're saying. We have been floating high the entire time we've been together. And it's funny because when it comes to relationships or men, in general, I always thought the same way. Just waiting for the day when it implodes...But with you, I've never..." Buffy trailed off, not sure how to continue to say what she wanted. She didn't know if anything she would say would make him feel better or bring them back to the place they were before Angel had a slip of the tongue. "I'm not going to be his friend anymore."

"No, Buffy, I don't want-"

"Don't be all noble, Spike," she told him with a small smile. "I appreciate it but it's not necessary. I like us friction-free...or fighting friction-free, that is." He quirked his eyebrow and smirked. "You and I...we made a pact a long time ago to always be upfront with each other. With that in mind, I'm going to tell you that I don't fully understand what it is you're thinking or feeling and last night sucked. You left in the middle of a discussion to get drunk, to drink away non-existent problems and then when I try to help, all you can say is that you don't need me. That you're not 'pussy whipped'...lovely expression, by the way. I don't know why you said that but it hurt. I felt like I was stabbed in the gut."

"I didn't mean it," Spike cut in. "I was trying to convince myself."

"But why?"

"Because I thought you were going to leave me-"

"But why?" she repeated, her voice rising in anger. "I made one stupid joke and you think I'm going to throw away our life together? It makes no sense! It's completely irrational. Where's the man who wouldn't leave? Where's the man with all the confidence? The one who was so sure he could get me to love him? Who did, who got me over my own fears of men and being with someone...We're getting married, Spike. I think it's been made pretty clear that I don't jump into these things without knowing exactly what I want first."

"You think I don't know all this, Buffy? Because I do and I hate myself for having even the tiniest doubt because you've never given me reason to. I haven't...this isn't something that's been harboring in me all this time. I can't even tell you at what point in the night I was convinced that we were over and I began to think that I needed to not need you. I had to believe that I didn't. I feel too dependent on you, on this life that we've built...a life we've built off your life."

"Do you want to move? Get away from here and begin our married one some place else?" She winced inwardly at the desperation in her voice. Twice now she had reverted to being seventeen again and twice she scolded herself for doing so.

"No, that's not...bugger...how do people do this? I don't know how to do this with you." He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. "Can't I just apologize and we can move on for the day?"

"Because we can't. You're the one who just last week went through all that trouble about Warren and this is so more important than that was. You're feeling things that we need to talk about. We can't just brush them away." She sat up and moved her legs Indian-style. "Are you angry about our life here? Or disappointed?" Spike went to interrupt and she held up her hand. "Wait a minute. I'm trying to work this out in my own head-"

"Me, too."

"Shouldn't we be doing that together, then? I never thought we were one of those couples that don't say something out of fear. We've always been honest with each other. To me, this seems like a very important thing and I don't understand why you wouldn't talk to me about it. If you're feeling the least bit suffocated or I don't know...whatever it is you're feeling about our life together-"

"Buffy, please...stop." The look in his eyes was beyond pleading and she snapped her mouth shut. "First off, I don't feel suffocated. Secondly, I'm not angry or disappointed. Thirdly, I don't think I even knew I felt any of this...not that I feel any of the things you're saying I do. I am as confused by all this as you."

"Do you still want to get married?"

Shock passed over his face before he bent over to her and grabbed her, bringing her to him. "There is nothing I want more in my life than to be your husband."

Buffy stretched her body out beside him and rested her head on his chest. "Then what is this all about? Tell me what to do, Spike, because I am so confused right now. None of this makes any sense to me."

"Can I try to explain without interruption?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who's constantly butting in," Buffy argued lightly, feeling some of the pressure in her chest leave her body.

Spike only gave her his "sure you don't" look before he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I've never had anything. For the first twenty years of my life, I didn't have a thing. I move here, I meet you and life suddenly happened. I never expected it to and on occasion, I think how did I end up here? I was a loner, planned on being one for the rest of my life. Maybe it's like how you may think of life with Angel every once in a while...I think of what my life would be like without not only you but everyone that came along with you. And it's nice to muse on but I wouldn't trade this for all the tea in China, pet. When I say I feel dependent on you, I mean that so much of me is wrapped up in you that if you were to go, where would I be? I have no back-up plan for life. I'm banking on us only and I don't think that's good."

Buffy looked up at him. "Can I say something?" He nodded for her to continue. "I wonder that same exact thing. As much as your life is, mine is, too."

"No, Buffy, it's different. You can agree and you can sort of understand but if something were to happen with us...you would still have everyone."

"And you think you wouldn't?"

"Well, seeing as it would probably be my fault and every single person I've met here would want to behead me, I'm going to stay with my original assumption."

"I don't emasculate you in some way, do I? Because I've read about bruising a man's ego or wearing the pants and I don't want to wear the pants. I like my skirts and you like my skirts and you look good in your pants and I don't want it to seem like I'm taking away your power as a man because your life has become based on my life-"

"Kitten, you need to breathe," Spike interrupted, chuckling. _Laughing feels good._ She lifted her head from his chest and turned to look at him. He pushed her hair back from her shoulder and cupped his hand along her neck. "Buffy, you treat me like a man and that's..." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "There has never been anyone who could make me feel like more a man than you do. You have a wonderful way of making me believe I am the best man in the world by just a look or a simple touch."

"Same here...but you know, woman," she said, sheepishly. "So...where do we go from here?"

"I think we take a breather. It's almost 12:30 and you need to get ready to go out with Dawn. I'm guessing I'm not invited."

"Oh, you're invited but then I won't be able to talk about you." She smiled slyly and leaned into him again; wrapping her arms as best she could around his back. "A bit of a time-out...that might be good. You can think about what it is you need and I can think of the best way to relay all this to Dawn without telling her everything." He smiled at that and nodded his head, understanding perfectly well that Dawn was like a dog with a bone. "How about dinner tonight? Just the two of us?"

"I'll cook," Spike offered.

"Mmm...Spike cooking. Sounds good. Around five sound good?"

"How about 6:30? I have an errand to run."

"Sure, I'm easy. I'm not even looking at you right now and I know you have that 'oh, yeah' look on your face. Get rid of it," Buffy said, playfully.

"Go, shower. Don't want to keep the princess waiting." He helped her into a sitting position and then leaned over, kissing her gently on the lips. As soon as he started to pull away, her hands flew to his face bringing him back to her. She didn't say anything after she released her hold on him. She grabbed her robe and went into the bathroom, turning to look at him briefly before she shut the door.

Spike threw himself back on the bed and groaned. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted the aspirin to kick in and take away the horrible feeling of an extreme hangover. _Tequila is not my friend._ He sighed before he reached over to grab the phone from the bed stand. He dialed the number quickly and waited for someone to pick up.

"Yeah?"

"You busy this afternoon?" Spike asked, dismissing any small talk that neither would have wanted to make.

"No. Are you coming here?"

"Indeed I am. We're going to have ourselves a little sit down."

Angel sighed into the phone. "Am I going to need weapons?"

Spike allowed the laugh to escape him before asking, "Do we really need weapons for this?"

"Does she know you're coming?"

"Has anyone ever told you it's rude to answer a question with a question? And no, she doesn't. I'll tell her tonight but this isn't about her. This is about us."

********************


	28. 28

title: **Marriage, Sunnydale-Style  
**author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)  
rating: R  
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.  
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)  
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

********************

**Chapter 28**

Flashback

"Is this as strange as I think it is? Or am I being judgmental?" Buffy asked.

"I'll see your strange and raise you to a mildly disturbing," Spike told her with a smile. "At least we'll be judgmental together."

"Well, I doubt Xander's all that happy about this."

"I have to hand it to the bloke. He came which is more than I ever would have done."

Buffy saw everyone sitting around a table and led them over. She furrowed her brow when she didn't see Giles and before she had a chance to ask, Anya jumped up from her seat and gave her a hug.

"He said he's too old to hang out with us at the Bronze. I tried to explain that being the fiancé meant having to do everything I say but he wouldn't have it."

"Good on Rupes, then," Spike commented.

Anya shot him an annoyed look and continued, "So I told him I would meet him back at his apartment later where I fully expected him to be lying in bed naked for my return." Spike and Buffy tried to hide their respective grimaces but Anya saw it and she smiled smugly.

"That's...nice, Anya." Buffy knew her voice was as false as the sentiment but she didn't know what else to say to that.

"Spike, go over there. I want to talk to Buffy in private for a moment." Spike laughed, kissed Buffy quickly on the cheek and moved over to where Xander was sitting at the bar. "You must get engaged."

"Anya, I don't need to be engaged," Buffy said, slowly. "You seem to enjoy doing it enough for the rest of us."

"This is so different than with Xander. Rupert is a man, he knows how to treat a woman...and I think maybe being English helps, although I have no proof to back that up. Yet."

"Well, once you validate your hypothesis that being engaged to an English man is of the good, then I'll do it," Buffy countered.

"You know, you're not a spring chicken anymore. Thirty will hit you before you can say menopause."

"What are you two talking about over here?" Cordelia broke in. She had seen Buffy's mouth drop and the look of horror pass over her face. She decided action needed to be taken.

"My life is apparently passing me by because I'm not engaged to an English man," Buffy said, wryly.

"I am so glad I moved back here. I never got any of this in L.A.," Cordy said with a big smile.

"I'm only saying that you and Spike have been together far too long now without even the prospect of being married. If you don't act soon, it won't happen," Anya explained.

"Maybe throwing yourself into marriage is what you want to do but it's not what I want to do. Besides, this is between Spike and I and if we have no problems, it shouldn't be of any concern to you."

"Exactly," Cordelia agreed. "Anya, you've been with Giles for barely a year-"

"And I already have a ring on my beautiful finger," Anya interrupted. "I waited and waited with Xander. I moved in with him and I thought any day now. Finally, the day comes and then a month before my wedding, he tells me he can't do it. I was not waiting around again. I'm a go-getter and I went and got."

"Wow, that's inspirational," Buffy sarcastically said. "What works for you and Giles does not work for us. I am perfectly content to live with my boyfriend."

"Fine, but you're never going to be married and reap the monetary benefits by living your life that way," Anya warned before she turned on her heel walked away.

"She's a barrel of laughs," Cordy commented. "And you people call me tactless?"

"You both are but in completely different ways," Buffy told her with a smile. "So it was nice seeing you and Xander being civil to one another at dinner."

"Well, I don't know how civil we ever are but yes, it was nice."

"You two might even become friends again. How long has it been?"

"Do you mean how long has it been since he tore out my loving heart and stomped on it with a Faith-shaped foot? Seven years."

"Not that we're bitter or anything," Buffy teased.

"The hell I'm not. I don't think he ever truly understood...and apparently still doesn't what with leaving Anya at the alter."

"He didn't technically leave her at the alter."

"Oh, right, he gave her that month to find a new groom," Cordelia rebutted bitingly. "Xander will always be scared of anything intimate. It's unfortunate, really."

"Why's that?" Buffy asked, her curiosity piqued. Cordelia never really spoke about Xander after they broke up and she had moved soon after to be as far away from anything that reminded her of him.

"Because he is actually a very decent man," she answered quietly. True to Cordy form, she broke out of reverie and ushered Buffy to the bar without any question or comment, ending that particular topic of discussion.

Buffy sidled up next to Spike and he wrapped his arm lightly around her waist. She leaned into him and listened to one of Xander's funny-to-him-but-not-really-funny-to-anyone-who-wasn't-there stories. She studied Cordelia in Xander's presence; smiling inwardly at the times when Cordelia's gaze lingered a bit too long and she would flush. She would smile sincerely at a witty Xanderism; something that only the people who knew Xander long enough would get. When Cordelia caught Buffy watching her, Cordy's eyes went wide and she blanched with embarrassment. Buffy smiled softly, trying to convey that she wouldn't say anything or do anything to bring attention to what she had witnessed.

"And I said to Harry if you don't learn how to use that hammer properly, I'm going to find a new use for it up your-"

"So when are you two getting married?" Cordelia cut Xander off. She needed to act quickly. She was letting herself be too immersed in Xander's stupid tale of Harry and his hammer. She saw the look Buffy had given her and she refused to bring any attention to herself.

"Was in the middle of a story here, Cor," Xander complained.

"Was being the operative word in that sentence." They glared at each other for a moment before Xander nodded his head and turned away from her. He knew he would never win against her.

"When are you two getting back together?" Spike shot back. Buffy gasped along with Cordelia who turned a red no one had ever seen before. She ran away before anyone could say anything while Xander wore a mask of confusion.

Buffy smacked Spike's upper arm and glowered at him. "What is wrong with you?" She left to look for Cordelia before getting an answer.

"It was a joke, pet!" Spike called after her, although he stayed seated on the bar stool. He looked at Xander, smirking evilly. "Mate, you alright?"

"Huh? What just happened?" Xander asked, dazed.

Spike laughed heartily before beginning to explain.

------------------

"Cordy! Wait up."

"Your boyfriend is a complete asshole!"

"Yes, on occasion, he can be very much the asshole of the piece but c'mon, he was only kidding around."

"Well, it's not funny," Cordelia huffed, placing her arms across her chest. "We are to never speak of this again."

"Fine, fine," Buffy agreed, holding her hands up in surrender. Then deciding she couldn't let it go, she said, "I'm sorry but you're not thinking maybe, someday..."

"No."

"Okie dokie."

"I'm too busy with the bar to be thinking of anything." Buffy didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue. "I mean, once a cheater, always a cheater, right?"

"So the saying goes but sometimes people surprise you."

"No," Cordy said, shaking her head. "Not going there. I have a business to run now. I have, you know, plans and whatever."

"And..." Buffy prodded.

"And...he still needs to grow up and get over Anya and...damn it, I don't know. Why are you picking on me?"

Buffy laughed. "Well, Cordy, it's the price you pay when you moved away for six years. I have time to make up for." She rested her hand on Cordelia's arm. "I'm not picking, really. It's just...in high school, you two were so mismatched at first and then it somehow seemed right."

"So right he felt the need to go sow his oats with a ho."

"Right..."

"Eh, screw it. Let's get drunk."

"I cannot wait until your place is open. Goodbye, Bronze. Hello, Maturity."

"A toast to Lorne," Cordy said, holding up her shot glass.

"To Lorne!" They drank down their shots in a gulp and slammed their glasses on the bar. They looked at each other and started laughing. "I can't believe you're opening a bar."

"God, I know. Cordelia Chase, bar owner." She wrinkled her nose. "If my father wasn't in jail for tax evasion, he'd say...well, I wouldn't have opened a bar so it doesn't really matter what he would say."

"Have you talked to them?"

"I'm in a good mood right now. I don't want to spoil it by talking about my parental units."

"Fair enough."

"Doesn't the bartender know we want more shots?" Cordy asked. She yanked on her shirt, cupped and adjusted her breasts in a discreet fashion. "Cleavage gets it done. Be right back."

Buffy smiled and watched her saunter down the bar, lean over and talk to the bartender. She looked over to where Spike and Xander were sitting, deep in conversation. Anya was sitting at the table that she had reserved, talking to her friend, Hallie. She thought it strange that they were having a post-celebratory party for Giles and Anya's engagement and yet Giles wasn't here. She wasn't surprised by it in the least. She was happy to forgo a night of Giles describing the Bronze in his very British way but it still was a bit odd. She knew Anya didn't care as long as heaps of congratulations were bestowed upon her. She wondered about Anya at times. Anya had been so in love with Xander and granted, he broke her heart but she had literally thrown herself into a relationship with Giles. Of course, that had taken everyone by surprise, even Giles himself, who had not been very receptive at first out of respect to Xander. However, somewhere in the two months when Anya pursued him relentlessly, he had agreed to have dinner with her. From there, and with a nod from Xander to go ahead, they were together.

Buffy was proud of Xander's reaction to the relationship. She had expected him to be very Xander-ish but he had simply told her, "I can't make her happy. I can't be the man that I need to be for her. Giles can. Giles will." She had hugged him then and told him he was a wonderful man as it was because she knew it to be the truth. Like Cordy had said earlier, he was scared of the intimacy that went with relationships but Buffy knew that given the right time, the right woman, Xander would be the man he thought he had to be. She was secretly hoping it would be Cordelia. She was a sucker for rekindled love stories. She knew it was only wishful thinking but seeing Cordelia with Xander tonight, she couldn't help but think that it could be a possibility. She also realized that Cordelia's behavior could be explained away as residual feelings. She sometimes found herself staring at Angel or mildly flirting with him. It wasn't to be taken seriously as it didn't mean anything now but sometimes she would remember those feelings she once had and find herself lost in a moment.

"Buffy Summers?"

Buffy spun around and furrowed her brow at the man in front of her. He looked familiar but she couldn't place him to save her life. "Uh, yeah?"

"It's Warren! Warren Meers? We went to high school together."

"Oh! Warren...right! How are you?" _Who are you?_

"I'm fine. Just came here for an after work drink. I work at CRD, you know."

"I thought it closed..."

"Nope, reopened last year. I'm head of the software department. Let me buy you a drink."

"Um, that's not..."

"Barkeep!" Warren barked and flashed Buffy a cocky smile.

"So...software, huh? That's really interesting," Buffy said, not even sure why she was continuing the conversation.

"What are you having?" Warren asked when the bartender came over.

"Blue margarita."

"You heard the lady and I'll have a Seven and Seven." When the bartender walked away, he said, "It's not only software. Being the head means I have many responsibilities. That's what they pay me the big bucks for."

"That's great, Warren." Buffy's eyes searched the area for anyone to rescue her but her boyfriend and best friend were still in their own world, Anya was dancing and Cordelia was having herself a good flirt with the other bartender.

"And you're a counselor back at good old Sunnydale High, I hear."

"Yup, gotta keep those kids in line," she said with a tight smile. "Oh, your brother is Sean?"

"That's him. If he gives you any trouble, you let me know."

"No, no trouble at all. He's actually one of the few that seemed to like to be there."

"Yeah, I don't want to talk about my brother anymore, Buffy." He ran a finger down her arm and she had to physically restrain herself from grimacing, which isn't an easy thing to do.

"Everything all right here, luv?"

_Oh, thank god!_ "Yeah, everything is fine, honey," Buffy said, emphasizing the honey for good measure. She instantly wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him tighter to her.

Warren's eyes bulged out a bit and said, "Man, sorry, I didn't realize...No ring."

_Damn it._ "Not yet but soon," Buffy said, brightly. "Right, honey?"

Spike was too busy sizing Warren up to answer her right away. He didn't like the looks of him and he certainly didn't like the way he was leering at Buffy. "Right," he answered, absently. "Can I chat with you?" He pulled her away and Buffy felt the need to hold up her index finger to Warren. She didn't want to be outright rude.

"I have never been so happy to see you in my entire life," Buffy whispered.

"Who is that?"

"Some guy I went to high school with. Well, that's what he said. I don't remember him at all but-"

"He's hitting on you."

"Yeah, he is. Nothing gets by you, huh? Good thing you finally broke yourself away from Xander long enough to come save me."

" I need to leave. Connor's in some sort of trouble and Angel needs my help."

"What? No, you can't leave! I have the feeling he's the kind of guy that won't quit no matter what," Buffy said.

"I think so, too. That's why I want you leave with me-"

"And go to L.A. and do what?"

"No, just go home."

"I don't want to go home," she whined.

"Fine, then I want you with Xander until you do. There's something about that wanker I just don't like," Spike said, his gaze straying to see Warren watching them intently.

"You're jealous," Buffy teased.

"Of him? Not bloody likely. I don't get a good vibe from him, as Tara would say. Promise me you'll stay away from him."

"Of course." She pulled him into a hug and rested her head on his shoulder. "So what happened with Connor?"

"Arrested or some such nonsense. I'm not sure why I'm needed but Angel said he'd pay me so I'm not turning that down."

"You didn't say anything to Xander about Cordelia, right?" she asked, looking at him.

He rolled his eyes. "No, not really. You think you're the only one who noticed the way she was looking at him?"

"Not really? What does that mean? She'll kill you-"

"Let's see her try." He paused and frowned. "Actually, let's not. If I were to be scared of any of you chits, it'd be Cordelia."

Buffy laughed and leaned into kiss him lightly. "You better be going."

"Yeah, I should. I thought Red and Tara were coming because the more the merrier in my opinion."

"I think they're on their way. Anya wasn't pleased that they missed the dinner but whatever. If it's not all about Anya, it doesn't matter to her."

"Cookout still on for tomorrow, then?"

"As far as I know. You're not planning on being in L.A. the rest of weekend, right? Tomorrow is Sunday and you don't work those anymore. And what is Angel doing calling you, anyway? I mean, Wes and Gunn are both right there. Are they suddenly incapable of helping Angel with whatever it is he needs?"

"He asked for my help, I agreed. I don't know what the other two are doing and I'm not really caring. Money, pet. We need it and Angel's going to give it. And I will be home in plenty of time for hot dogs and potato salad."

They walked over to Xander, hand and hand. Buffy sat next to him and Spike kissed her on the cheek. "Xander, keep an eye out for her, alright?"

"Sure," Xander agreed, although his confusion was evident.

"I'll see you in the morning," Spike told her before turning to go.

"Why am I keeping an eye?"

"Do you remember Warren Meers from high school?" Off Xander's blank look, she sighed and nodded. "Well, he remembers me and he was sort of hitting on me. Spike didn't like it or him or both. So you're my bodyguard for the night."

"Well, I feel privileged that Spike would leave you in my hands," Xander said, with a warm smile.

"So...talk to Anya at all tonight?"

"Do you ever just have a normal conversation? Like what's your favorite color or how about them Yankees."

"You like blue and I don't give a shit about the Yankees."

"Okay," Xander shrugged. "No, I haven't. I congratulated her, she said thanks and that's been pretty much been the it." He took a sip of his beer and stared off into the distance. "I think I'm incapable of being happy with a woman."

"Maybe you're gay," Buffy offered. "Because if you are, Larry's totally been crushing you since we were juniors."

"No, that's not it."

"Isn't it a little bit of an ego boost to have had Larry, the star quarterback, like you?"

"In a word, no." Xander twirled his bottle absently while Buffy watched him. She was about to say something when he snapped out of his daze. "Spike and I were talking...I think I missed my chance."

"You regret what happened?"

"Yeah, I do. I asked her to marry me and I was sincere. I really thought I wanted it, you know? I thought I was ready for it; that we were ready."

"But then you weren't?"

"No, I can't even explain why, Buffy. It's not that I didn't love her because I did."

"I know," Buffy said, softly, laying her hand on Xander's.

"And there was no doubt she loved me. There was still something off about getting married right then. Is it possible to love someone too much? Like you want them to be happy and you love them and want to make them happy but one day you wake up and you think that because you're you, you can't possibly do that. You can't make someone happy or better or complete because you're..."

"You're what?"

"Because you think that love isn't enough most of the time. You think you're not...good enough and you love them too much to put them through heartache. I'm wallowing, never mind me."

"No, a wallowing Xander is a good Xander. You should get this stuff out and I'm a certified counselor, you know. I am qualified to say things like 'Hmm, that's very interesting' or 'I believe you have parental issues'."

Xander smiled sadly and nodded his head. "Parental issues are exactly it. I can't help but think that as much as I loved Anya, it would never be enough. I wouldn't be able to do right by her or give her what she needed. I didn't want to grow old and bitter with her."

"So then, isn't it good that you didn't get married?"

"There's the rub. It's good in one sense and in the other, it's not because now she's getting married and to Giles of all people."

"Ah, I see. These are reactionary feelings, Xander. It's perfectly normal. I'm sure if Angel, hell, even Riley, suddenly said 'I'm getting married', I wouldn't be all that thrilled, even though it's not what I want anymore."

"I don't understand why you and Spike haven't gone down that road yet."

Buffy took a minute to think about his statement. "I think it's because I'm scared of the exact same things you were scared of."

"But you two-"

"Love each other and we're full of all kinds of happiness. Very true...but so were you and Anya. It's so good right now...I don't want to spoil that."

"Like that would ever happen," Xander said, bitterness creeping into his voice.

"Hey! You could have not asked her and waited until you were ready."

"I thought I was."

"Fine, but even when you started to have the smallest doubt that you weren't, you should have talked to her. No one forced you to wait a month beforehand to call it off."

"How is a person supposed to have that kind of talk? I thought it would go away."

"Maybe that's your problem, Xander. Maybe it's not just about fear of intimacy but communication. If you couldn't talk openly about that with Anya, then there's your real problem."

"I think it's my turn to say hey," Xander mumbled. "Don't psycho-analyze me, Buffy. I thought that when I talked to her, that would be enough. I didn't think we would just break up."

"Wait, you thought that you would still...like date?"

"I thought we could still be engaged but not-"

Buffy's harsh laughter cut him off. "That's so guy-like, Xander. Jesus...You really thought that Anya would go through all that; the wedding prep, the dresses, the tuxes, everything and then ** date** you when you called it off?" He hunched his shoulders in response and she rolled her eyes. "Wow, you're unreal, you know that?"

"I tried to do the right thing," Xander argued.

"Calling off a wedding after everything has already been set and paid for is not the right thing. And you had to have known that she wouldn't take it lightly."

"Sure, but I didn't think she'd want to leave me altogether."

"Why not? You left her in the lurch. You made a promise, a commitment, and you reneged. How did you think she would feel? She would say 'Oh, that's fine, Xander. Anything you want'?"

"Well...sort of?"

"This is going to sound a lot harsher than I mean it but you made your bed, now you have to lie in it. No one but you waited until the last minute to have that discussion with Anya. ** You** are the only reason you are in this position."

"I know that! Yeah, alright, I haven't made the smartest of choices over the last year but I thought not marrying her would be better than forcing a horrible life on her."

"Did you have a magical vision that told you it would be like that? Otherwise, you never would have known and you let fear take you over. You should have discussed it with her way before you did. But would've, could've, should've...it doesn't get you anywhere. Besides, you told me when they started dating that you were glad someone could make her happy."

"And I am but they weren't getting married then."

"Did you think that she would date Giles for a bit and then come back to you once she calmed down?"

"Everything I say makes me out to be the bad guy and-"

"Xander, you are the bad guy in this scenario! Perhaps if you could accept your fault in this whole debacle, things might be a lot better for you."

"Look, I did the both of us a favor by walking away. Now she can be happy and I don't have to live with the pressure that I'm not doing my damnedest to make her happy and not succeeding. You know, you talk a good game of what everyone else does in their lives but you...you don't even wonder why you don't want to get hitched, do you? You think that everyone, including Spike, should just deal with the fact that you don't want to. And I know that Spike has asked you and you keep saying no. Do you take a good look at yourself as to why that is?"

"What happens with me and Spike has nothing to do with what you're going through-"

"Bullshit, Buffy. You tell me to accept it, to dig deeper and yet you don't. You expect everyone to do what's 'right' and to listen to your advice as you dole it out without anyone even asking for it and then when someone says something to you or calls you on something, you just clam up or lash out."

"No, that's not true-"

"Please, I sometimes almost choke on your moral superiority. So you're happy and you have everything you could possibly want. Good on you, Buffy. It's fanfreakintastic. Did you ever think that the reason Spike keeps asking is because he wants it? But do you ever sit and talk with him about where you're heading or what you're doing? No, because it's not what ** you** want to do."

"Did he say...something?" Buffy asked, meekly, the fight having gone completely out of her at Xander's words.

"Sure, but even if he hadn't, he wouldn't need to. Everyone who knows you can see what you can't."

"And that would be?"

"That Spike wants more than you do but you're too fucking selfish to see anything beyond what you want," Xander spat out before turning off the stalking and walking away.

"I have your drink."

"What?" she dazedly asked, turning to the voice behind her.

"You're drink," Warren said, holding it out to her. She took and smiled weakly because she thought she was supposed to. "That Xander...he's always judging people without knowing all the facts."

"Do you know Xander?"

"I know enough. Now drink up, Buffy." And so she did.

----------------------------

"I'm going to have quite the hangover tomorrow for our cookout," Buffy slurred, propping her head against her hand. She closed her eyes briefly before the spinning feeling forced her to reopen them and concentrate on a specific spot. Unfortunately, her gaze landed on her companion, Warren, and she wrinkled her nose in distaste before shifting her head to look out at the dance floor.

"You're having a cookout? Am I invited?" he asked, leaning towards her.

"Um, it's sort of birthday thing for my sister and a celebration for my mom being alive."

"You're mom was almost dead?"

"Yeah, she was sick a while ago. But clean bill of health for seven years now." Buffy smiled and held up her nearly empty glass. "A toast to my Mom."

"I'll drink to that! If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have the fine pleasure of your company tonight," Warren said, clinking his class to hers. He watched Buffy down the rest of her drink before he put his back on the bar and grabbed her hand. "Let's dance."

"Oh, I don't think," she protested. "I can barely walk..."

"One little dance. It's a slow song. I'll hold you up." Before she could say anything else, he whisked her off to the floor and pressed his body tightly against hers. She felt even sicker.

"You smell so good. Like summertime," he whispered in her air.

"It's my fabric softener," she mumbled.

"No, it's you. I noticed it back in high school when you would walk by me in the hall."

"This might seem callous but I don't remember you."

"I know but you'll never forget me after tonight." He dipped her down and back up so fast that Buffy thanked her lucky stars that she could squelch the bile that was rising in her throat.

"I'd say I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm not." They turned their heads to see Cordelia standing beside them with her hands on her hips. "Buffy, we need to go now."

"No, we're dancing. I'll take her home."

"Oh, I bet you will." She grabbed Buffy's arm and tried to pull her away from Warren, only to be resisted by his holding onto her other.

Buffy giggled. "It's Tug-o-Buffy." The sensation of being yanked back and forth quickly caught up to her and she stopped smiling. "I'm going to retch."

"Let her go, whoever you are."

"I'm Warren. I went to high school with you, you self-centered bitch."

Cordy's mouth dropped in surprise before it slammed shut in resignation. "I am a bitch and you, little man, do not want to fuck with me. Now. Let. Her. Go."

"Go screw yourself, Queen C, because it's obvious no one else is."

"Hey, no one talks to Cordy like that," Buffy said, trying to stick up for her friend but having it only come out as a whine.

"Let me handle this, Buffy. What is this? Some old, high school fantasy of yours? One in which you get Buffy drunk so she can tolerate talking to you for the night? Because you know and I know and probably everyone here knows that this woman wouldn't speak to you if she weren't in the bag right now."

"For your information, she was talking to me before she was drunk," Warren told her, smugly.

"It was called being polite, dipshit. You didn't notice her taking off at the first chance she got? Honey, you're not fit to spit on so let go of her arm before I call the bouncer over here."

"Afraid to take me on?"

"You're not worth breaking a nail on but I'm actually not opposed to shoving my foot up your ass."

"Will you guys shut up?" Buffy yelled. "I'm going to be sick. I want to go home, crawl into my bed and wait for my Spike to make me feel better."

"I can do that for you, baby," Warren said in her ear while he rubbed her back.

"Oh, god," Buffy mumbled before she turned her head and regurgitated everything she had drank and ate that night. Cordelia's face scrunched up in disgust and Warren started yelling as he was doused in her vomit. Warren let go of her arm and Buffy fell to the floor, clutching her stomach in pain. "Please...get me out of here."

"You puked on me! Do you know how much this shirt cost?"

"Ten dollars at Wal-Mart?" Cordelia retorted. She bent down and placed Buffy's arm behind her head and hoisted her off the floor. "I'll get Xander to carry you to the car, okay?"

"You owe me!" Warren took a hold of Buffy's arm again. "You don't sit there and let me buy you drinks all night and flirt with me and not give me anything in return."

"I believe she did," Cordelia quipped. "Xander! I need some help over here." When he didn't look up from his own drink, she yelled for him again. He shifted his gaze to her and she nodded for him to come over to her. "Warren, she has a boyfriend. That scary British guy that would snap you in two if he had any idea of what went on tonight."

"He doesn't scare me," Warren said, unconvincingly.

"Well, he should."

By now a small crowd had gathered around the threesome and the whispering and gawking had begun. Xander made his way over and winced when he saw the state Buffy was in. He was supposed to watch her and Spike was going to torture him slowly for not doing his job.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked when he came to stand next to Cordy.

"I don't need your help, Xander," Buffy groaned out and instantly regretting speaking as she felt her stomach lurch again.

"Don't listen to her. Whoever this guy is, he won't let go off Buffy and I think it's time we got her home," Cordelia broke in.

"I'm Warren, for Christ sakes! How many fucking times do I have to say it?"

"Until someone actually gives a shit to remember," Cordelia sniped.

"Not helping, Cordy," Xander mumbled. "Look, we just want to get her home so why don't you let her arm go like the nice guy you are and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened."

Buffy straightened herself as best she could and grimaced when Warren's hold on her upper arm tightened. She turned to face him and pasted on her best fake smile. "I'm really sorry about vomiting on you. I drank way too much, obviously, and I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that tonight would lead somewhere but-"

"Lying bitch is what you are. You think I didn't see the quick glances you used to throw my way when you walked down the hall. How you would swivel your hips as you passed or flip your hair and lick those beautiful lips. Taunting me all the while. Oh, you knew exactly what you were doing then and tonight," Warren seethed. He yanked her arm again and Buffy gritted her teeth in order to not cry out. "I'm taking her home."

"Broken record much?"

"Cordelia, shut up," Xander whispered, his tone harsh. She looked at him eyes wide but didn't say anything. "This is going to go one of two ways. You either let her go or we make you let her go."

Warren ducked his head and cocked an eyebrow. He released his hold on Buffy and held up his hands. Xander nodded and gave him a small smile that quickly disappeared when he saw Warren forcefully push Buffy onto the floor, her head hitting the wooden floor with a thud. Cordelia quickly ran to her and Xander charged at Warren.

-----------------------------

"I'm gonna have a bump," Buffy whined, gently touching the spot of her head that hit the floor.

"I'm gonna have a peninsula," Xander countered, pointing to large bump and bruise that had formed on his forehead. "Who knew Warren would be so crafty."

"It's not like you're much of a fighter, Xander," Cordelia said, as she made ice packs for the both of them.

"I'm a lover not a fighter," he agreed and Cordelia snorted before looking appropriately embarrassed that she let it slip from her. He rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Buffy. "What are you going to tell Spike?"

"I have to tell him everything. Anya's pissed that we broke up her after-engagement-party-party and she'll definitely blab the whole thing. It's best to be upfront about it." Buffy groaned and rested her head on the table. "I don't think this night could suck anymore."

"Here you go." Cordelia put the two ice packs down on the table and looked at her friends. Sighing, she grabbed one and put it in Xander's hand and brought it to his head. She took the other and placed it on Buffy's resting head, lifted her arm and placed her hand on top of it. "Xander, alternate that between your head and nose, okay? Oh, aspirin!"

"Bathroom," Buffy mumbled. "Why don't you take some aspirin and go on home, Xander?"

"But-"

"But nothing. We're home; we're fine, no big. Thanks for your help tonight." She slowly got out of her chair and went down the hall to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

"What the hell did you do now?" Cordelia demanded as she walked back into the room. Xander shrugged but looked too guilty to let it slip by her. "Take these. Let me check on her and then you can drive me home."

Cordelia knocked on the bedroom door and opened it without waiting for Buffy's response. Spike's voice filled the room as he explained that he would be in L.A. until tomorrow morning. The frown on Buffy's face made Cordelia want to step out of character and put an arm around her but she didn't. As close as they had become, it was still too awkward of a step for the both of them. The answering machine beeped and the cheerful voices of both Willow and Tara came on. They were on their way, they were caught up, giggle, giggle, they would come to Buffy's when they arrived in town. When the prompter told them it was the end of messages, Buffy's hand raised to press play again when Cordelia quickly grabbed it. Buffy looked up at her startled, never having realized that Cordelia had entered the room.

"Don't press rewind," Cordy told her with a soft smile. "It'll just make you more sad because all you want is Spike goodness and he's working. Don't torture yourself. Here." She handed Buffy the bottle of aspirin. "We're going to leave, unless you want me to stay until Willow and Tara arrive."

"No, it's fine. I'm going to fall asleep anyway. Will still has a key from when they house-sat for us."

"What went on with you and Xander?" Cordy asked, not bothering to skirt around the issue.

"He said some...things...I have a headache. I just want to lie down and go to sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow at the cookout, alright?"

"We're here!" they heard Willow announce from the other room, quickly followed by a shocked, "Xander!"

"You rest, I'll handle," Cordy told her. Buffy nodded and leaned back on the pillow, bringing the ice pack to her head.

"Is it broken?" Willow asked as she fussed around Xander. Cordelia rolled her eyes and she waved at Tara. "What happened?"

"Do you remember a Warren Meers?" Xander asked.

"Uh, yeah, he was in a couple of my computer classes." Willow's eyes went wide. "No way! Warren was a nerd, never said anything to anyone and definitely couldn't have broken your nose."

"It's not broken," Cordelia interrupted, replacing the ice pack on his nose and not being gentle about it. She ignored the noise of protest from Xander and said, "He's apparently grown some confidence. It was this whole big thing. Some loser has a stupid obsessive crush since high school and things got a little out of hand. Buffy's fine, a small knot on her head and Xander's nose is not broken, just swollen but the shot he took from the beer bottle is worse." She grabbed the ice pack again and moved it to the top of his head. "Hold that there."

"We miss all the fun," Willow grumbled.

"Fun? Buffy and I had a huge fight, she got drunk and hit on and we both have injuries. No fun at all. And Spike's going to kill me. I was supposed to be watching her; making sure Warren stayed away from her. I'm as good as dead."

"What did you and Buffy fight about?" Tara asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Cordelia sighed audibly in frustration. "No one wants to talk about it! It's becoming annoying."

"It's none of your business, that's why," Xander said. "I need to get out of here. You coming with me?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be right down."

"I'll see you ladies tomorrow at Joyce's." With that, Xander walked out, still clutching the ice pack to his head.

"Should he be driving?" Willow asked, concern flashing through her eyes.

"I'm driving whether he likes it or not," Cordy said, a cocky smile spreading across her lips. "Watch out for Buffy. She really isn't feeling well. I think that knock to her head was worse than she made it out to be. Plus, she drank a lot."

"Is she sick?" Tara asked as she walked into the kitchen and started looking through the cabinets for something to give to Buffy just in case.

"I think it's out of her system. She, um...well, she threw up on Warren. At the Bronze. While they were on the dance floor." She tried to keep her laughter in but the appalled looks on her two friends' faces sent her over the edge.

"This isn't funny, Cordy!" Willow chided.

"Hey, I didn't laugh when it happened. It's one of those moments that she'll look back on and laugh about in ten years when the humiliation of it goes away." Cordelia plucked her bag from the table and moved to the door. "Oh, if Spike calls, don't say anything. It's nothing that can't be discussed ad nauseum tomorrow." She gave them her classic Cordelia smile and left the apartment.

Willow turned to Tara and sighed. "Tomorrow's looking like it is going to be all that and a bag of Cheeto-s."

---------------------------

_Why am I all wet?_ she wondered as she carefully opened her eyes. Buffy lifted her hand to her head and frowned when she realized that not only was her hair wet but her pillow was as well. She grabbed the plastic bag that had once held ice in it and threw it onto the floor. She groaned as she sat up but was pleasantly surprised that her hangover wasn't worse than she had expected it to be. The bump on her head wasn't as enflamed and was only slightly sensitive when she touched it gingerly.

She heard pots being moved around and became aware of the lovely smell of coffee. She made her way down the hall and smiled when she rounded the corner to her kitchen and watched Willow and Tara make breakfast. A light kiss here, a small caress there. The giggling and all-around playfulness of the two warmed Buffy's heart and instead of a sarcastic witticism, she opted for "Hey".

The two women turned around, surprised to hear Buffy up and did their best to not laugh at the vision before them.

"Go ahead and laugh. I know I look like hell. Stupid ice pack busted and everything is soaking wet." They took her advice and let it go, holding on to each other as their laughter filled the apartment. Buffy hadn't meant they could go into hysterics about it and she quickly put her hand on her hips, rolled her eyes and tried to look as annoyed as possible. She realized, too late, that it only served to make the two laugh harder.

"You can stop now, you know." Buffy took a seat at the table and began flipping through one of the newspapers adverts. The laughter gave way to quiet chuckling and they went back to fixing their breakfast. "Did Spike call?"

"Not yet," Willow told her as she brought over a cup of coffee. "Do you want pancakes?"

"Yes, please."

"Rounds or funny shapes?" Tara asked and Buffy shrugged. "I don't know why I ask. They always come out funny shaped."

"How about Xander or Cordelia? My mom?"

"Nope, no one. It's only nine, Buffy. What time is the shindig?" Willow asked.

"Around eleven until whenever. I'm so glad you guys came down for it. We never get to see you anymore."

Tara and Willow brought breakfast to the table and sat down. They looked at each other and shared a secret smile, which didn't go unnoticed by Buffy. She paused and quirked an eyebrow, waiting for someone to spill the beans.

"Tara's finally finished with her courses and I'm not really loving my job so we started looking around."

"I was offered a job right away and Will has an interview on Monday."

"Please don't tell me that you're moving even farther away," Buffy griped.

"Actually, we're moving back."

Buffy dropped her fork and jumped out of her seat. She wrapped her arms around Willow's neck, causing Willow to yelp in surprise. She let her go and did the same to Tara. She squatted between the two of them, one hand resting on Tara's, the other on Willow's.

"You're serious?"

"I'm proud of your mom for not telling you. We begged and pleaded for her to keep it a surprise," Tara told her.

"You're working for Mom? And you? Where is your interview?"

"How do you feel about having lunch together every day in the same cafeteria that tried to poison us for three years?"

Buffy squealed and hugged Willow again. "This is crazy! I never thought you guys would move back here. First Cordy, now you...You know what will happen? Spike will want to move." They laughed together, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. Buffy groaned as she stood and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, pet, can you hear me okay?"

"It's a little fuzzy. Where are you?" Buffy mouthed "Spike" to her friends and they nodded, turning back to their breakfast.

"No place."

"Spike..."

"I wanted to call and tell you that I think I'll make it to your mum's by this afternoon. Things are a bit buggered over here."

"Why? What's happening?"

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head over, Buffy. I'm fine. How'd it go last night?"

"Um, fine. Had a great time last night," Buffy fibbed and cringed when Willow turned to look at her, eyebrow shooting up. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"What's there to talk about if it was great?" Buffy didn't answer him. "Harris didn't do his job, did he? I ask him one simple bloody favor...What happened?"

"Nothing, really. Just...we'll talk about it later," she stressed, hoping he'd let it go and kicking herself inwardly for saying anything in the first place.

"Fine, but we will talk about it."

"Yup!" She knew she sounded far too cheerful, which would only incense his curiosity. She would think she would know how to deal with these situations by now. She knew he was aware of every inflection of her voice, knew something wasn't quite right when her voice faltered and especially knew that being overly peppy was a dead give away that everything wasn't picture perfect.

As soon as Buffy said good- bye, Willow turned to look at her. "That's going to be a fun conversation, huh?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed. "If you two hadn't given me such good news, today has all the makings of being on the top ten not fun for Buffy days."

-----------------------

"I'm not usually very good with these things," Xander said, smiling. Joyce patted him on the back, a grateful smile on her face, as she placed food on the grill.

"Well, it is idiot proof, Xander. If you couldn't do it, I'd be wondering about you," Dawn commented, sneaking a look at Xander, who only smirked in his self-deprecating manner.

"Could you ask Buffy what she wants?" Joyce asked. It didn't take a genius to tell there was something going on between the two. They hadn't even said hello to one another and had stayed at opposite ends of the yard since they had arrived. Joyce saw the uncertainty pass over Xander's face. "You have to talk about it eventually. Here's your in."

"She told you?"

"No, but I'm a mom and it's what we do. We'd never survive if we didn't acquire psychic ability upon giving birth."

Xander walked off the porch and gave a small wave to Willow and Tara who were acting very lovey dovey by the tree. They smiled at Xander and turned to talk, leaving Xander to assume it was about him. Buffy was over near the flowers with a tennis racket, poking at the bushes.

"Looking for secret cameras?" She spun around and offered him a quick, tight smile before turning back. He inwardly groaned for trying to start with a joke. "Buff-"

"I'm trying to find the birdie."

"Huh?"

"For badminton."

"There's no net."

"We don't need one."

"I'm sorry. About last night," he blurted out.

She slowly turned again, a smile creeping onto her lips. "Oh, thank god. You know this was killing me, right?"

"I shouldn't have-"

"No! I shouldn't have. I had no right to sit there and judge you or tell you how to live your life."

"True but you and Spike seem perfectly happy and I shouldn't have implied that you weren't treating him right."

"But you have a point."

"So do you."

A small laugh escaped Buffy and Xander soon followed. She pointed to the bench with the racket and he nodded. They walked over and sat, both looking around the yard.

"Cordy said she'd be here as soon as she can. She was having a glass crisis," Xander told her.

"And Spike's not coming until much later, if at all. I could kill Angel...or Connor." She took a deep breath and looked at him. "So..."

"I don't want to fight with you, Buff. It seems...unnatural."

"I know. I guess we just had things to say and alcohol always helps with fueling that along."

"I didn't mean-"

"Yes, you did," she said, softly. "And I did, too. Let's not pretend that we didn't mean exactly what we said because today isn't last night."

Xander nodded and smiled tentatively. "Things haven't been kosher for a while. For me, I mean. Since Anya, I've been-"

"Absent? We've noticed."

"I was ashamed and she moved on so quickly. I couldn't..."

"I know." She patted him lightly on the knee. "I wish you would have talked to me about it."

"If I promise to do so from now on, am I forgiven?" A hopeful smile on his lips.

"I don't need promises. You were forgiven when you came over to talk to me." They leaned in and hugged. Each exhaling in relief that they were fine, as they always were. Xander lifted his head and rested his chin on her shoulder. He saw movement in the corner of his eye and he turned his head a bit.

"Buffy," he said, pulling back. She looked at him questioningly and saw him looking behind her. She turned and saw Warren walking into the backyard. She slowly stood from the bench, Xander rising with her.

"You think you can do that to me? Think again," Warren shouted, raising his hand.

Before Buffy could respond, she heard the shot fired and automatically pushed Xander out of the way. She felt the bullet go into her shoulder and she fell to her knees and then onto her stomach.

Xander's hands frantically ran over his chest before looking around and seeing Buffy lying on face down. He quickly knelt beside her and carefully turned her over, inhaling sharply as the bloodstain on her gray zip-up grew before his eyes.

"Buffy!" He quickly put the palm of his hand over Buffy's wound, hoping that it was the right thing to do. He heard more shots fired and he ducked on instinct. "Everyone get down to the ground!" He knew it was a fruitless effort but he didn't know what else to do. "Buffy? Can you hear me?" Her eyes were glazed over but she was breathing. "We need to call 911!"

"Dawn! Dawn!" Joyce yelled.

"Fine! I'm fine! I'm calling," she responded from the kitchen.

"Tara? Baby?"

"Willow?" Xander called. He looked to where Warren had been and saw that he was gone. "Will, you alright?"

"Tara, no! Come on, baby. Wake up."

He looked over to her and saw her cradling Tara in her arms, blood covering her shirt.

"Oh, my god," Dawn cried as she came out, phone in hand.

"Get back in the house now, Dawn," Joyce ordered before she grabbed the phone from Dawn and ran towards Buffy. "Is she alive?"

"She's breathing. Did she call?" He brushed the sweat of his forehead. 

"They're coming," Dawn answered before running over to Willow. Joyce looked over at her daughter and shook her head. She would have to speak to her later about not listening.

"Dawn?" Xander asked, hoping that she would pick up the question he was asking without having to ask it out loud. She nodded as she felt Tara's pulse point on her neck. Dawn followed Xander's example and put her hand over Tara's wound on her stomach. She had to pry her from Willow's grasp in order to reach the wound. She tried to reassure Willow but she knew nothing she said was getting through to her.

"How did this happen?" Joyce asked quietly, blinking back her tears.

"I don't know," Xander answered, finding it hard to swallow from the lump in his throat. He heard the ambulance's siren and let out relieved sigh. "Put your hand here. I'll get them." Joyce did as he said and watched him run out of the yard.

Xander waves his arms in the air and yells, "They're in the back! Hurry!"

"Xander? What's going on?" Cordelia asked, running over to him, gasping as she saw the blood on his hands and shirt.

"Warren..." he mumbled before taking off to the backyard.

"Excuse us, miss." Cordelia jumped out of the way waited until they were in the backyard before running after them.

She never expected to see what she did. The two paramedics were working on Buffy, the other two on Tara. They lifted them onto the gurneys and she moved out of the way again as they rushed to the ambulance. Willow went with Tara, Joyce with Buffy.

"Drive?" Xander asked and Cordelia nodded, quickly following him and Dawn to her car.

As they sped to the hospital behind the ambulances, she nervously looked at Xander. "This may seem like a stupid question-"

"I don't know why he did it," Xander bit out. "So stupid." He punched the dashboard and a small scream escaped Dawn. "Sorry. Dawnie, sorry."

She shrugged, unemotionally. "They're going to okay, right?" Neither Xander nor Cordelia answered her question.

"Um, did anyone call Spike?" Cordelia asked, hesitantly.

"Phone?" Dawn asked. Cordelia handed it to her and she heard the beeps as Dawn entered the number. "Spike? It's Dawn. What? No, listen...no, Spike! Listen to me! You need to come home. You need to come home right now."

-------------------------

Buffy shifted in the bed, the dull ache in her shoulder radiating down her arm and side. She could barely open her eyes and when she did, everything appeared to be filtered through a hazy overlay. Her head was heavy and she felt groggy, her mouth and throat parched, her body unmovable. She quickly realized that she wasn't in her bedroom and as she became more aware of her surroundings, the pain in her shoulder became more evident. She groaned softly, the sound barely audible to her own ears and turned her head to see Spike sleeping in a chair beside her bed, his hand holding hers tightly. She tried to move her hand from Spike's but he tightened his grip each time she pulled.

She tried to say his name his name but ended up choking from the tube in her throat. Her eyes moved around in a panic and tears sprang to her eyes. She lifted her left arm to pull the breathing tube from her nose when the pain in her shoulder went from dull to extreme. She screwed her eyes shut and unconsciously squeezed Spike's hand hard at the pain.

"What?" Spike shot up, eyes blinking rapidly. "Buffy?" He leapt at the bed, minding her left side, and buried his head into the crook of her neck. "Oh, luv, been so worried." His hand cupped her face, his thumb brushing across her skin. "Let me get the nurse."

She could hear him yelling down the hall that she was awake. Nurses ran into the room, each with a smile and offering her congratulatory pats on her hands. They took her vitals and removed the tube from her throat which, Buffy decided was an experience she never wanted to have happen again. After the nurses dispersed, Spike was immediately at Buffy's side, taking her hand once again.

"Spike?" She was surprised by how raspy her voice sounded. "Is there water?"

He quickly let go of her and filled a paper cup with ice cold water. "Here, don't drink it too fast." He stared at her as she drank the water at a slow, but steady pace. She glanced at him from time to time, her brow furrowing in the way it did when she was confused. He sat down in his chair again and held her free hand. She curled her fingers around his palm and gave his hand a weak squeeze of comfort. He brought their hands to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand lightly.

"Um...what happened?" Buffy asked.

His mouth fell open in surprise before he recovered. "You don't remember?"

"Bronze, drinking, fight with Xander, more drinking...Warren, oh, honey..."

"I know, baby. It's okay. You don't have to worry about anything."

"Don't be mad at Xander, okay? He would've looked out for me last night but we got into that stupid fight and I let Warren buy me drinks...and promise me you won't go off on some crazy vendetta just because I have this stupid bump on my head."

"What are you talking about?"

"Last night. Anya's party. The Bronze. Stay with me."

"That was two nights ago, pet," he told her. "Do you not remember the cookout?"

"Of course, I remember the cookout. Xander and I made up, Dawnie and I were going to play badminton and I couldn't find the birdie thing and oh! Will and Tara are moving back. Did they tell you?"

"Buffy..."

"Why am I in the hospital? I didn't hit my head that hard, you know. My shoulder is killing me though."

"You're in a lot of pain? Here, press the button." She did as was told and looked at him questioningly, waiting for him to tell her something. "Warren came to the house. Do you remember?"

He felt his heart breaking as her eyes searched his, trying hard to recollect the events. She shut her eyes and leaned back on the pillow, her head nodding occasionally and he knew she was silently putting together the weekend, checking off the things she did as she went.

"Oh...god..." Buffy whispered, feeling her stomach flip and nausea sweep through her. Her eyes widened and she looked at him, panicked. "Mom? Dawn?"

"They're fine, luv. They went home to get some rest. Xander, too."

_Tara!_ she heard Willow scream in her head. "Will? Tara?" Spike averted his gaze for a moment and she felt her chest tighten. "Spike?"

"They're okay, Buffy."

"You're not telling me something. Tell me."

"I think you should get some rest. You'll never get out of here if they don't think you're getting better and we both know how much you hate hospitals."

"No, you tell me what happened," Buffy said, forcefully, the unshed tears threatening to spill over.

"Red's probably with her. You want me to get her?" Buffy shook her head no and pointed at him, letting him know that she wanted to hear from him and nobody else. "Tara is hurt, too. She's doing a lot better but she's still sleeping."

"How hurt?" she asked, her voice small and shaking.

"Don't you think we should wait to talk about this once you're feeling better? The nurses said not to talk too much."

"I wouldn't keep asking if I didn't want to know right now, would I?"

"I'm just trying to help," Spike reasoned.

"And telling me things I don't remember would help a bunch." When he still didn't budge, Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed. "Look, if you're talking that means I'm not and that's what the doctor ordered so..."

_She's going to be just fine..._ He smirked and nodded his head. "This is second hand, luv, seeing as I wasn't there and if I had been..." She squeezed his hand harder. "Right. You were shot in the shoulder, Tara in the stomach. It's been two days, you're awake and she's not. Good?"

"Will she...do they think she will wake up?"

"It's all touch and go right now. Buffy, Tara died." Her sharp intake of breath made him scramble to continue. "But they brought her back. Now all we can do is wait."

"Warren?"

"They found him in the woods."

"So he's in jail?" Both noted the hopefulness in her voice but when Spike didn't answer, she felt her muscles tense again. "Not answering is starting to get on my nerves."

"He's dead." He glanced at her just as she closed her eyes, her head shaking back and forth against her pillow ever so slightly. "Pet?"

"This is all my fault," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I did this..."

"No, you did not." She shook her head harder, blocking out his words. He stood and leaned over her, grasping her head in his hands. "You listen to me, Buffy. Look at me and listen." She opened her eyes and she felt his thumbs wipe away her still falling tears. "He shot you and Tara. He shot himself. He was a coward. That wanker will burn in hell and I'm only sorry that I wasn't the one to send him there. What happened had nothing to do with you. It was all him. It could have been any other woman."

Buffy nodded her head and sniffed. Spike saw the change in her instantly and had to stifle his sigh. It was as if he could actually see her start to build the wall to ward off the pain and he'd rather she didn't. He wanted her to break down now, to have it all out of her system but he could see that she wasn't going to do that. He knew that his words had done little to convince her that she was at fault but she would be her and pretend that they did. When he caught her eye, he saw the pain that still resided there that wouldn't be acted on any further but he also saw the light glimmer of pleading that he wouldn't press her on the matter. He nodded his head once and let go of her. He settled back in his chair, reclaiming her hand. He lowered his lips to it and brushed them against her skin.

She watched him as he placed the soft kisses on her hand, only being able to see his profile. His eyes were closed but the tension in his jaw was working overtime. Buffy knew that he wanted her to let it go. She knew that she wouldn't. She was reminded of when Cordelia had given her such sage advice back in high school. "Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet..." and she had. She felt better for doing so. This time was different, though. This wasn't depression from boy troubles and spending an awkward summer with your father. This was almost getting her friends and family killed. Buffy had promised him that she wouldn't go near Warren that night. If she had gently brushed him off and found Cordelia or Anya, even Xander, this never would have happened. It couldn't have happened to any other woman, like Spike had told her. This was about her and her treatment of a man she didn't remember. Tara died. Tara died because of her. It didn't matter that they were able to bring her back. She should never have been in that position in the first place. All that pounded through Buffy's brain was "Tara died" in big, bright neon lettering. No, she wouldn't talk about this. Not now. Who knew when. Buffy knew that Spike wouldn't understand; wouldn't be able to see why this was her fault and she couldn't stand to be placated. She hadn't earned the to spank her inner moppet just yet. She deserved the pain far too much.

"Luv?" He lifted his head slightly at the small moan that had escaped her as the thoughts stampeded through her mind. "You need something?"

"Can you come up here with me?" She tried to move over but hissed as the pain from her shoulder flared up again. She moved her legs over as best she could and he climbed onto the bed, snuggling in next to her.

"Not very comfortable. I don't think-"

"Shh. Please just stay here with me. I don't care from comfort. Just do that thing where you stroke my hair and hum in my ear, okay?" He nodded and lifted his free hand to her head, brushing her hair back. "Have you been to work at all? Or home?"

"No work. Will and I go back to the apartment for a little while to change and shower but we always end up coming back. Everyone tells us not to but...They've been great. I have a newfound respect for Cordelia. Bringing grub and drink for all of us. And your mom? I see where you and Dawn get your strength from."

"How is she?"

Spike knew who she was talking about without her having to say Willow's name. "She's hanging in there. Much as I was. It's all we can do. She'd love to see you. Shall I fetch her?"

"No. I'm not...I'm tired." She faked a yawn, knowing she wasn't convincing him. "They've let you stay here?"

"Damn right they did. Slept in that chair. I'm thinking I'll need to see a chiropractor soon." They laughed together until the slight movement caused pain in her shoulder.

"Ow...good god, this hurts. If anyone uses the 'it feels like I've been shot' analogy again, I can set them straight." She gave him a quick smile and rolled her shoulder just a bit to adjust it. "I'm surprised they let you stay. Visiting hours and non-family issues aside, staying overnight goes against policy."

"They didn't have much of a choice."

"I'm glad it was you I saw when I woke up."

"Me, too, pet. Me, too." He kissed her softly on the cheek and settled beside her.

"So what did you tell them in order to stay here? You didn't threaten anyone, did you?" She turned her head to him and quirked her brow.

He smirked and said, "Maybe just a little." She rolled her eyes and moved her head back. "I told them I was your husband and there was no way in hell I would be leaving your side."

Buffy's eyes went wide and she dared to sneak a peak at the man beside her. Luckily, his eyes were closed, his head bent and resting lightly on her shoulder. She sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since she had awakened and pressed the pain medicine button that Spike had pointed out to her earlier.

------------------------

"Mom! Will you please stop? Please."

Joyce fluffed the pillow anyway and placed it next to her daughter. "Do you need anything?"

"Besides copious amounts of peace and quiet? No."

"Luv, your mum is only trying to help. Don't be rude." 

Buffy huffed in response and closed her eyes, settling back in her bed. Spike nudged his head in the direction of the kitchen and Joyce nodded. She leaned over and gave Buffy a quick kiss on the forehead before following Spike out.

"I thought she'd be happy to be home," Joyce lamented. "I thought this attitude of hers would, I don't know, not go away completely but at least lighten a bit."

"I know," Spike agreed. "I thought the same thing. I don't think she's going to be right as rain any time soon. Don't blame her but I wish..." He stopped himself. "She's home now. It's what's important, right? I'm not going to sit here and let her wallow. I'll take care, don't you worry."

"I know you will, honey. I know," Joyce told him quietly as she patted his hand. She gathered her things from the table and then embraced him. "You watch our baby and don't let her pull any of her shit with you."

"Never."

After Joyce left, he fixed them lunch and brought the tray into the bedroom. Her eyes were still closed but she wasn't sleeping. As much as he didn't want to disturb her, she needed to eat before she took her medicine. He placed the tray on the table next to the bed and sat next to her. His fingers traced the bandage on her shoulder and he felt that pang of guilt in his chest that had been there for the last week. He had never felt so useless in his entire life as he had when he received that phone call from Dawn.

Spike knew that Buffy was still punishing herself over what happened and he was trying his hardest to not succumb to his own feelings of failure at protecting her. He played the what if game quite well in his own head and he could only imagine what was going through Buffy's. He knew that her frosty behavior was inevitable but he had truly thought that she would have thawed out by now. Spike was still surprised over her initial reaction to seeing Willow earlier in the week. He had suspected that it would be difficult but he never expected Buffy to barely say two words to her.

"You alive in there?"

He broke out of his reverie and focused his eyes on hers. "Sorry. I have food. Don't roll your eyes at me. You need to take your pills and you need to eat in order to do that."

"Spike..."

"No arguments, Buffy. You're eating. End of story."

"No...I mean, yes, I'm going to eat but...I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"The way I've been treating you. Uber-bitch to the extreme. I'm thinking 'you know how I am' isn't going to fly this time around." She propped herself up against her pillows, favoring her left arm. "Can you hand me that pillow?" He did and she placed it behind her shoulder for soft, yet solid, support.

"Luv? What is it?"

"I have lots of apologies to give, especially to Mom and Willow. God, can you believe the way I treated her?" Spike didn't say anything and she nodded to herself. "Yeah, bad. You bore the brunt of it and I am so sorry. It has nothing to do with what happened and everything to do with you telling the hospital that we were married."

"Ah..."

"Yeah. Did Xander tell you about the fight we had?" Spike nodded. "When I take a break from thinking about Sunday, I think about that fight and how you were able to stay with me at the hospital."

"It didn't mean anything, pet. I only wanted to stay with you and it was the only thing they would allow. Joyce is the one-"

"I know. She told me. Here's the thing. Xander had quite a few good points in his argument. I know you want it and it's not that I don't-"

"Buffy, stop," he interrupted. "If I asked again, would you say yes?"

"No."

"Why no this time?"

"Do you ever notice that you ask when we're going through something? First time we...you know and then when we were moving. Now after being shot. I want you to ask when there's not this huge thing looming over us."

"And that's why?"

"It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not. Tell me."

"Because I want to know for sure that it's me your asking and not the situation."

"Of course it's you, pet."

"I know it's me." She sighed in frustration, her hand on her good arm curling into a tight fist. "I want it, too, Spike. I want everything that comes with it but every time you ask, it seems like...like you're trying to prove that I'm with you. Our situations keep dictating when you ask me."

Spike stared at her, mouth open but unable to say anything for once in his life. He shook his head and rubbed his temple. _Think, you, stupid git. Say something. She's staring at you all wide-eyed, waiting for you to say anything so say it. Tell her it's okay even though it's not. Tell her that she's right even though she isn't. Just say something._

"Buffy, you couldn't be more off base if someone put you at home plate." _Brilliant, pillock. Bloody brilliant._

"Oh," she stated, drawing the word out.

"The thing of it is, ducks, I keep asking because since I saw you, I wanted you. When I've asked doesn't matter, the fact that I've asked, three times now, and you keep saying no does. You want it and yet you won't say yes."

"No, you're-"

"Right. I'm right, Buffy. You put your abandonment issues on me and somehow twist my asking you to be my wife as me trying to prove that I have you. Not. True. I have you now, I've had you for seven years. I don't need to prove anything. I've only wanted you. If I didn't, I'd be long gone. How many men you know stick around after being rejected not once but twice? And I'm just counting proposals, luv. There's that whole year of back and forth with us that I'm leaving out completely. I've meant it every single time I've asked. Not once did it have anything to do about what was going on at the time but just because I wanted to." He lifted himself off the bed, picked up the tray and put it over her lap. "Eat up so you can take your medicine."

Before walking out the door, he turned and smiled at her. "I'll be sure the next time I ask, it will be a regular boring day."

"And I'll be sure to say yes," she told him, a small smile creeping up on her lips.

"Will you marry me?" He winked and walked out of the room.

"Yes," she whispered, a full-blown smile on her face as she picked up her sandwich and ate.

End Flashback

********************

tbc...


	29. 29

**Chapter 29**

Buffy grabbed the elastic from the counter and swept her hair into a ponytail. Knowing that Dawn would make her help carry everything into her dorm, the last thing she wanted was hair in her face. Plus, the longer she stayed in the bathroom, the longer it was before she saw Spike again. They had talked. It had gone fairly well. She was still having trouble wrapping her brain around some of the things he said but at least they had the ball rolling. She hoped that was the worst part and now they could sit down at dinner and get to the root of his problem. There were more than enough times when he forcibly pulled her out of whatever funk she had been in. Now it was her turn. She was determined to do it right. This was new terrain, however, as Spike had never shown his insecurities so blatantly before. She had always been a firm believer in actions speaking louder than words. Actions weren't needed this time, although the easiest solution for her would be to take him to bed and wrap him in her love.

No, they needed to talk. Words had to be said. She saw the mistakes that Xander had made with Anya and she would not let that happen with her and Spike. She laughed lightly as she applied her lip gloss. She couldn't believe she was the same person she was ten years ago when she met him. She never thought that she would not be scared of love. At eighteen, she had resigned herself to never having the strength to be in love again. Now it was the one thing that made her strong enough to deal with everything life threw at her. Spike had given that to her and she would give it right back.

How did the guy with all the confidence in the world become the scared boy in their bed this morning? She still didn't understand it but she would find out. He never let her slip too far into herself and now was the time to repay that. _Maybe that's all that he needs_, she thought_._ If that was the case, she would do everything that was in her power to help him. The day apart would be good for them. They could collect their thoughts and calm down before going any further. Buffy knew it was the best thing to do but it was the last thing she wanted. It was his suggestion, though, and if that's what he needed, then she could do nothing but comply with a smile on her face. There was no need to rush this. He always gave her the time she needed. He always just understood without her ever having to say and now it was her job to do the same. She had no idea how he did it. She had far more patience than he did and the entire situation was wearing her down.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the bathroom door and walked down the hall. Spike was sitting at the table, smoking a cigarette and reading the letter from Andrew, which she had forgotten about completely. She stood behind his chair and rested her chin on top of his head.

"You're reading that again?"

He put his cigarette out and folded the letter. "Did you?"

"No, I forgot about it. I vaguely recall you telling me it was a wedding present, though."

"Go there for lunch. You should talk to him in person." He leaned back until he was resting against her chest. He bent his head back slightly and she leaned forward, placing a light kiss on his lips. "You about to take off?"

"Yup. Shouldn't I know what Andrew and I will talk about before I go there?" She moved away from him and went to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. She leaned against the counter and said, "I don't want to look like an asshole for not having read it yet."

"You look adorable today." Buffy blushed and bent her head down to hide it. He got out of the chair and strode over to her, placing his hands on the counter. He licked his lips and smiled. "Cherry."

"Adorable?"

"Always but today just a little bit extra. I think it's the hair." He gently pulled the ponytail. "Andrew's expanding. Offered to host the reception."

"Offered? As in no payment necessary? Or offered as in you can have it here if you would like but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg?"

"We still pay for the food but the room is free."

"I think I may love Andrew," she replied, her face lighting up. "This solves the second to last detail."

"And the other unsolved detail would be?"

"Where to get married. I'm supposed to tell Tara by tomorrow so she can finish the invite and get it to the printers. She said she would take over the entire situation as her bridesmaid duty and I wasn't about to argue."

"Were we going to talk about where before tomorrow?"

"Yes but other things...came up," she finished quietly. She glanced at the clock and sighed. "I have to get going."

"Me, too," Spike said, removing his hands from the counter. He hated this. She would barely look at him.

"Where are you off to again?"

"Again? I didn't tell you in the first place."

She smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "I thought that would work. I should know better."

"Just have a few errands to run."

"Until tonight?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

He nodded and turned away from her. He grabbed their respective car keys and handed her her set. She took them but let her fingers linger against his. He looked at their hands and wrapped his fingers around hers. She moved towards him and before she was able to do anything, his arms were around her and his lips were on hers. She opened her mouth, slipping her tongue out to trace his lips, tasting the cherry flavor of the lip gloss. He moaned as he turned them around and pushed her against the wall. A squeak of surprise escaped Buffy before she felt his tongue touching hers and all she could do was sigh in contentment. His hands traveled down her body, one hand going to her breast and the other going further, stopping at the top of her jeans. He reached under her shirt, his fingers dancing across her stomach causing her muscles to twitch.

She breathed out his name as his lips went to her neck and his hand went to the button of her jeans. The thought that she should stop him flew through her mind but she dismissed it as quickly as it came. She needed this as much as he did. Just to feel him against her, his mouth trailing across her skin, his hands working their magic on her body...they both needed it and she wasn't about to say anything that would stop him. Her breath caught as she felt his hand worm its way down into her jeans, his thumb brushing against her. She wanted to touch him as well but the way they were situated made it difficult to move her hands any higher than his hips. His hand left her breast and reached down to grab hers, moving it above her head.

"Let me do this," he whispered and she shook her head slightly wondering, not for the first time, how he always seemed to know. It wasn't only because they had been together for so long. No, he had always had the ability to anticipate exactly what she wanted or was about to do. Was she that easily readable or was it simply him? She liked the latter explanation better. 

Her whole body shuddered as his finger slid into her. He had always been good at this, too. It's usage had changed over the years since they had started having sex as it so often does in relationships. It reminded her of those times in his old apartment on that ratty couch. The tentative touching that turned more heated the longer they kissed until it wasn't enough and a different kind of touching was needed. She hadn't been used to it. She had, in fact, been a bit embarrassed by the idea of it but once he showed her exactly how good it was, all previous inhibitions about it went right out the window.

She arched into his touch and he brought his lips back to hers. She missed this. As much as she loved the sex, there was something about what he was doing now that made it so much better than that could have. It was a taste of what was to come. It was a reminder of how they once were. She felt connected to him again without actually being physically connected in the traditional sense. His fingers moving in and out of her, the heel of his hand rubbing against her nerves and hearing their combined heavy breathing, pushed her over the edge. Her fingers tightened around his and the other hand dug into his hip as she let it wash over her. She felt like she was flying and his soft pledges of love in her ear kept her up there.

She fell against him, all the strength holding her up exiting her body as she came back down. He brought their arms down to rest at their sides and his mouth nipped at her neck. She wanted to move; wanted to give him something in return but she couldn't. The last thing she wanted to do was leave him and go help Dawn. She chided herself silently for thinking of her sister as the phone rang immediately and she mused that she must have psychic connections to those nearest and dearest to her.

Spike pulled himself away from her warmth and answered the phone. Buffy quickly zipped and buttoned her jeans. She looked at the clock and rolled her eyes. She was late and Dawn didn't like late.

"Hey, Nibblet...No, she's just about to walk out the door...No, I'm not coming...I have something to do and your sister tells me she can't talk about me if I'm there." Buffy felt the urge to give him a one finger salute but kept it to herself. "Yes, I'll send her on her way...I feel fine...Uh-huh...No, but thank you for doing what you did. Okay...Bye." He hung up the phone and turned to her. "She's hyper. Watch yourself."

Buffy laughed and then lunged at him, kissing him as passionately as she could. She broke away and smiled. "I guess we don't have time to-"

"No worries," he interrupted. "Wasn't about that. You know that I can't resist that bloody cherry stuff."

"I'm well aware," she said, with a wink and he laughed. "Are you still not going to tell me what this secretive errand is?"

He watched her bend over and pick up their keys that were thrown to the floor. It took a lot of willpower to not grab a hold of her and say sod Dawn and Angel. They were more important.

"No," he told her, shaking himself out of his fairly pornographic thoughts. She handed him his keys, her fingers not lingering this time and he was beginning to suspect she had it all planned out. Maybe not the way it went down but wearing the lip gloss that she knew drove him crazy and the light touching that would have never been enough, especially after the previous night. She was a smart woman, his Buffy and he loved her all the more for it.

Buffy studied him for a moment before nodding in defeat. She grabbed her water off the counter and he followed her to the door. He grabbed onto her hand and they walked to the parking lot. When they reached their cars, he bent down and kissed her before moving to his. She got in her truck and rolled down the window.

"Hey," she yelled when Spike was already halfway in his car. He stood back up and looked at her, waiting. "Try not to beat each other up, okay?" His eyes widened and she laughed. "Just don't be overly guy-like and try not to egg him on too much. You have a tendency to do that."

She waved and drove off. He could hear her laughing as she went and he shook his head in shock. He reentered his car and sat for a moment. Since he made the phone call, he had this gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. Things had changed already; had changed the night Angel let his feelings for Buffy slip. Buffy had her time to talk with him. Now it was his and he was nervous. A growl escaped him as he shoved the key in the ignition and started the car. He pumped the gas a few times before throwing it into reverse and peeling out of the parking lot.

He hated being nervous.

-------------------------------------

"What did you do, Dawn? Stock pile everything you own and then wash it?"

"I ran out of clothes and don't act like you've never done that. I remember when you used to come home with just as much laundry." Dawn threw the last bag into the back and slammed the hatch down. "We're still eating, right?"

"We're going to Andrew's. Is that okay?" Dawn nodded. They got into the truck and Buffy made her way to the restaurant. "He's going to hold the reception there. He sent a letter to us and granted, I haven't read it yet, but I got the lowdown from Spike."

"Decide where you're getting married yet? I still vote for Mom's."

"It's either Mom's or the park. Since I haven't contacted the park and found out if the 20th is free, I think it will end up being in the backyard. Is that cheesy?"

"No, we'll do it up. Mom really wants to have it there, you know."

"I didn't but thanks for the tip. Oh, did the tickets arrive yet?"

"I knew there was something I forgot to tell you. Mom put them in a special drawer in her desk. I still don't understand why you just didn't have them sent to your apartment. All you had to do was tell Spike you weren't telling him where you were going. He is the one that said to pick the trip."

"Right, Dawn, it's so simple to tell Spike no. It wouldn't happen. He knows all my good hiding places and when he's being really curious, he looks. It's a surprise and I plan on keeping it that way until the night before the wedding. And in case I haven't said, I will kill you if you tell him. Accident or no."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "You've only told me a thousand times, Buffy. Aren't honeymoons supposed to be sunny and fun?"

"Sun may be an issue but there will be plenty of fun to be had. I've never been and I've always wanted to so it's not like I picked it just because of him."

"He's going to flip."

"Yeah?"

"Totally," Dawn told her and flashed her a smile. "He always used to talk about taking you. And that was before you guys got together."

"I sometimes forget the secret society that you had with him back in the day."

"Well, not to bring up past hurts but Mom was sick and you were...distant. He wasn't."

Buffy frowned. "Can I ever apologize enough for my behavior then?"

"It's fine, Buff. Really. It's how you are sometimes. Like after the Warren incident and you shut him and Willow out. We might not understand why but we do understand that you'll do it. It just...it hurts is all."

"I think I've talked and thought more about Warren in the last couple of weeks than I have in the two years since it happened."

"Well, it's coming up. The day. It's only a few weeks away."

"That's right. Along with your birthday."

"Yeah, great way for everyone to remember my birthday," Dawn mumbled and turned to look out the window.

Buffy reached her hand over and patted her arm. "It sucks that they coincide but no one remembers your birthday because Warren went insane right beforehand."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when the restaurant came into view. She pulled into the parking lot and was grateful that getting out of the car caused the conversation to end. She didn't know if Dawn wanted to continue it but she certainly didn't. Andrew was at the hostess station and his face lit up when he saw them enter. He gave them both a hug and showed them to a table. He took a seat with them and they made small talk until Andrew couldn't stand it anymore.

"So? Tell me, Buffy," Andrew urged.

She smiled. "What your offering is too kind, Andrew. We can never thank you enough."

"Then it's a go?" he asked, his voice full of excitement. She nodded and he clapped.

"I hope you're not going to all this trouble for us," Buffy said.

"Honestly, you were the catalyst but I fully intend to advertise the new space. I also expect very good word of mouth from a certain couple who will be naturally blown away by their wonderful reception."

"Oh, of course." She winked at him playfully and he blushed. "It's going to be done in time?"

"Absolutely. I plan on closing for a few days when the bulk of it needs to be done only so I don't end up killing half my customers from fumes and dust. Having this space will open up a whole new sort of business here at the restaurant."

"It's a great idea," Dawn threw in. "Maybe when I have my graduation party in the fall, we'll do it here."

"That would be splendid, Dawn," Andrew said, happily. "Fall? I thought you were graduating this June?"

"Well, I was but then I made a minor adjustment to my major and now have to take a few extra courses over the summer."

"We're all very proud of you, little one." He patted her hand and Dawn choked down her laugh. "As stated in the letter, my present is the room and as soon as you tell me what you plan on eating, we can really get things in motion."

"I know, I know. I give you my word that by the end of this week, we will pick a menu. Things have been hectic these last few days but I will force him to sit down," Buffy promised.

"Hectic? Everything okay? Anything you need my help with?"

"Nope, just regular life things. It's all good, but thanks for asking."

"Phew because I had heard that there was a tête-à-tête at Cordelia's last night between the two of you and I, of course, did not believe it. You two never fight and you certainly wouldn't be fighting over something as ridiculous as another man being in love with you still." He waited a beat and added, "Right?"

Buffy looked at him, flustered. "I...where did you hear that from?"

"Oh, you know barflies. Can't ever keep their mouths closed. Tell me it isn't true."

"Everything is fine, truly. Whatever information you have has been blown way out of proportion."

"So he didn't get drunk at Greenie's and spout off about being his own man?" Andrew put his hand to his chest and sighed. "That is the second best news I've heard all day. I wouldn't know what to do if I thought there was trouble in paradise."

"No, no trouble," Buffy told him tightly.

"Hey, Andy, can we have a minute to look over the menu?" Dawn asked.

"Of course. Anything for my two favorite Sunnydale ladies."

As soon as Andrew was out of earshot, Buffy closed her eyes and groaned. "Who was at the bar last night and what's this about Spike yelling about being his own man?"

Dawn sighed, not wanting to tell her about that. "It didn't mean anything. He was drunk and just talking gibberish. Don't looked so freaked."

"I'm not freaked."

"And don't be hurt by it. You know that you're Spike's world and-"

"Yeah, that seems to be the problem," Buffy interrupted. Off Dawn's surprised look, she said, "He told me he didn't need me. Now I hear this new information and I'm a little spun."

"Please don't make this into a thing, Buffy. I was there and I'm telling you it was nothing but drunken babbling."

"I'm sure you're right," she said quietly.

"Turn that frown upside down. It's a stressful time for everyone. Weddings are notorious for causing mayhem," Dawn offered.

"I suppose. I wished he would have told me about these issues-"

"What issues? There are issues?"

"I think he's feeling like he doesn't have a life of his own, which I don't understand. No one told him to not go out and make his own set of friends or to work for Angel. I would have supported anything he needed to do. Doesn't he know that?"

"Of course he knows that. I sometimes wonder about the two of you." She shook her head. "For as much as you two know each other inside and out, there are always parts you're not going to get. Didn't you and Spike just tell me the other week that life wasn't meant to be in a tidy package? Well, there you go. You're not meant to understand everything about him and vice versa."

"But this has to do with me, Dawn. If he's having problems with us, I'm the one who should understand it."

"I'm sure even he doesn't understand it, Buffy. Look, you mean everything to him. Nothing will ever change that, you know? But he's getting older, probably looking at his life and thinking that if anything were to happen to you, he'd be wrecked."

"That's almost exactly what he said."

"It doesn't take a genius. Do you think it doesn't bother him when he can't figure you out? Whether it be why you wouldn't get married before now or why you sometimes act the way you do. He doesn't understand you entirely but he knows he doesn't need to. He's sure of what he does know and the parts he doesn't, he figures that's the way it's supposed to be."

"I'm starting to think you've talked about this."

Dawn shrugged. "When you were shot, I have never seen anyone so wrought with guilt. He blamed himself for leaving that night, he blamed himself for not being there that day and he continued to blame himself when you were so highly bitchy to everyone. He was so grateful that you weren't seriously hurt like Tara but then he'd feel awful for thinking like that. That night we waited to hear, he didn't cry, didn't talk...he just sat in the chair with his hands folded and his head bowed. I can only imagine what was going through his head but I can tell you that when we finally did talk, the one resounding theme was how much he needed you, how he wouldn't know what to do if you had died. Believe me, it wasn't because he had nothing else in his life, Buffy. It was the simple fact that you sustain him and he needs you by his side. Ask anyone, they'll tell you the same thing."

"That's the problem, though!"

"No, you're seeing it wrong, Buffy. If you were the only thing he had, he'd be perfectly happy for the rest of his life. But he's also human and in that, he's beginning to feel that he should have other things besides you. He doesn't need them but he thinks he should." Buffy shook her head and furrowed her brow. "Don't look so perplexed. You're not going to understand it."

"So why do you?"

"I'm not in love with him," Dawn said, simply. "Believe me, I don't entirely get why but I get a lot of it. Let me try and explain it from my point of view. I have Mom-"

"And me."

"No, see, you moved out a long time ago. You and Spike are a unit now so it's not just you. So like I was saying, I have Mom. Dad's wherever he is and I don't particularly care to see him ever again at this point in my life. If something were to happen to Mom, I'd be so lost. Alone. And it's not that I don't know that I have other people in my life that love and need me. I know it but Mom, she's my constant, you know?" She shrugged. "Maybe that's how Spike's feeling. As much as he knows that I or any of us would do anything in the world for him, we're not you. I can't give him what you do just like no one else could ever give me what Mom is able to."

"But I have Mom, too. I'd be just as lost without her."

"Yes, you would but not like me. Again, you have Spike. Mom's everything that I have. I don't really like most of my friends, I hang out with my older sister and her fiancé and their friends, I go back and forth with Connor...If it weren't for Mom, I'd be completely alone, whether or not I was surrounded by people. I don't know...maybe that's how he feels, too."

Buffy didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. If Dawn was right, and she had the sneaking suspicion that she was, then there wasn't anything to worry about. Dawn's words gave her hope that it wasn't about them or her, per se, but him. They told her that what Spike was feeling only had to do with him and had nothing to do with how he viewed their relationship or what he wanted. He was happy but he needed additional security. She understood that...as long as Dawn's theory was correct. 

--------------------- 

"Well, look at what the cat dragged in." 

"Good to see you, too, Grama," Spike said, a wicked smirk on his lips. 

Darla rolled her eyes and huffed. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that, William?" 

"Not my fault you're old." 

"I'm not old! Word of advice? Don't piss off the pregnant lady." 

Spike chuckled. "If I didn't say it every time I saw you, you would miss it. You know you would." 

She sighed her annoyance but a tiny smile appeared. "Angel's downstairs. I was going to the store but do I need to stay here and moderate?" 

"No, it's fine. You're going to the store by yourself?" 

"I'm pregnant, Spike, not cripple." She noticed the way he was fidgeting, moving from one foot to the other, and her curiosity was piqued. "So are you here for business or personal reasons?" 

The question was asked casually enough but Spike's job was to pick up on the little things. And he was quite good as his job. Maybe it was the pregnancy that made her appear so vulnerable to him but there was no denying it was there. He suddenly felt a sort of kinship with her. Although he knew Buffy didn't love Angel; he and Darla knew that Angel loved Buffy. Spike knew that Darla was well aware of this fact. He saw it in her eyes; heard it in the way she asked the question. 

"A little of both," he answered finally. It wasn't a lie and he'd be damned if he would be the one to confirm any of her suspicions. 

"Uh-huh," she replied and Spike wasn't sure if that was good or bad. "I'm leaving. I'm so hungry, you're starting to look good." And with that, she was out the door. 

Spike made his way downstairs, doing the calm breathing technique Buffy had shown him that time she tried to get him into yoga. He smiled at the memory but it quickly disappeared as he hit the floor. Taking one last deep breath, he walked into the apartment. Angel was sitting at his desk, reading. He grabbed a chair from the kitchen and brought it over to the desk and straddled it. He rested his arms on the back of the chair and waited. 

"One minute," Angel said, without looking up. "Remember the Bison case?" 

"The little girl who everyone thought could heal people?" 

"That's the one." 

"If I remember correctly, all she was healing were her parent's pockets." 

"Yeah, well, apparently, some people finally wised up and there's a lawsuit. They want me to testify." 

"Guess the Willard's didn't take to heart the gag clause in their contract." 

"Guess not. The whole point of being a private detective is to be private. People now-a-days." Angel tossed the paper to the side and leaned back in his chair. He folded his hands onto each other and swiveled around to face Spike. "No weapons. You?" 

"Clean," he said, smirking. "I'm not here for that. Don't get me wrong, nothing would make me happier than to beat the ever living shit out of you but Buffy asked me not to." 

"So you told her?" 

"No, she just knew." 

"That's Buffy," Angel mumbled. "She probably doesn't want you to have any visible bruises for the wedding." 

"Like you'd even get a shot in." Angel quirked an eyebrow and flexed a little. "You're bulky but I'm spry." 

"I'll let you have your delusions." 

"That's not what I'm looking for you to let me have." He leaned back and gripped the wood of the chair. "You fucked me, Angel. You had to have known that little comment would cause an uproar." 

"You didn't have to tell her." 

"No, I didn't have to but I couldn't sit on something that large. It'd eat me up until I imploded." 

"Nothing's changed, Spike." 

"Exactly what she said and here's what I told her. Everything's changed." He pushed himself off the chair and began to pace. "I work for you." 

"With me." 

Spike stopped and looked at him before he shook his head and resumed pacing. "Whatever. I work here. I've worked here for seven years and I feel like I've been made a fool of." 

"Never. You're the best I have-" 

"Not in relation to my job, you git. Look, we've never been what you would call friends and it's always been sort of fine with me." 

"Me, too," Angel said with a smile. 

"Yeah," Spike snorted out. "Despite that, I would think that a person would tell another if they were still moping over their ex who happened to be dating said other." 

"You couldn't have just said 'you should have told me how you felt'?" 

"Shut your gob. Not wanting sentence structure lessons at the present." He sat back down and pointed at Angel. "I haven't figured it yet. I don't know if it's your date with fatherhood quickly approaching or if you were trying to sab our wedding. I can't help but think that after all this time, it's a bit convenient that your love confession comes through now." 

"I don't know how many times I can say it slipped out but that's the truth of it. Maybe some of what you're saying isn't so far-fetched-" 

"Is that right?" Spike interrupted, his voice dropping and dripping with venom. 

"I don't want to sound all poor me but I've been under considerable amount of stress in the last couple of months. Believe me, I didn't want to add to it so it **was** a mistake. On that same note, I'm not particularly upset that it's out in the open." 

Spike didn't know what to say to that so, for once, he said nothing. 

"I'm hoping that maybe now I can let go of it-" 

"And the best way to do that would to actually watch her marry me, don't you think?" 

"I can't." 

"Then you're not planning on letting go anytime soon." Spike ran his hand over his head and sighed. "No one can force you to not feel what you do for Buffy. I don't like it but I can live with it just as I lived with what went on with you before I came into her life. That was a hard deal, mate. Hearing those stories, the pain in her voice...trying to break down the walls she built because of you. But I've earned it. Earned her love, tried to be everything you weren't. It worked out well for me." Angel opened his mouth to say something but Spike shook his head. "I can deal with a lot. I might have been able to deal with your feelings for her." He paused. "If you had told me many moons ago. Unfortunately, you didn't and I can only be led to believe that you have no respect for me, Buffy or the relationship that we have." 

"Not true." 

"That's great, then. Everything's all better," he bit out, sarcastically. 

"Look, Spike, I'm not sure what you want me to say here. I've apologized and there's not much else I can say after that. I was not, and I cannot stress this enough, trying to break the two of you up. Maybe I should have said something before but I thought it wouldn't be a good idea. We work well together, I've enjoyed knowing you and yes, having Buffy back in my life was not a bad thing." It was Angel's turn to stand and pace. "I probably could have done a hundred things differently but the fact is, I didn't. I'm the one losing out here." 

"Boo-hoo for you, Peaches. Sorry if my heart isn't bleeding for you." 

"Damn it, Spike, I'm not looking for sympathy. My friendship with Buffy is over now. I know that. I knew it the minute I left your apartment. On top of that, I'm starting to have the sinking feeling that my best worker is quitting." 

Spike's eyes went wide before his mouth slid into a sly grin. "Not quitting but I have a proposition." Angel nodded for him to continue. "You've been going on for years about how you wanted to open another office. Get more work than just L.A. and it got me to thinking, especially after all this." 

"Have you done the research?" 

"Yeah, there's a few nice looking spaces. I know Connor's been learning the ropes and he might be more inclined to do something if it's offered. Right now, he's picking up secondary cases or filing paper work. No one wants to do that. He's spending a lot of time in Sunnydale-" 

"Getting arrested, too, if I heard correctly." 

"Apparently, a misunderstanding. Believe you me, if it weren't, your brother would be pretty shades of black and blue." 

"How do you want to work it?" 

"We can go in, 50/50 but I run it. All decisions made by me, unless you're opinion is needed. I get a raise, obviously, and we put Connor on the payroll. Scamp needs direction, Angel. I'll still help out here when you need me but you have Gunn and Wes full-time, Fred and Faith integrating themselves into the fold and Gwen helps when she's not doing her own thing. You've gone from just you to an actual staff. I want that." He thought for a moment and quietly added, "I need that." 

Spike wasn't looking at him and Angel studied him for a moment before nodding to himself and sitting again. "I want to see the spaces you've looked into. We can figure rent, your much deserved raise and I think I should talk to Connor. You have a tendency-" 

"To egg people on?" Spike asked, an amused smile on his face. 

"Heard that before?" 

"This morning, actually." 

"Ah..." Angel trailed off. "In any event, you're right. I have been meaning to expand. Not to sound like a kiss ass, but you were the only person here that I would consider for taking the name of the agency elsewhere." 

"I have to use your name?" Angel only looked at him, the amused but put-off look on his face. Spike shrugged. "Worth a shot." 

"Nice try." There was a moment of silence when they both contemplated what had been said. "For the record, I am sorry." 

Spike nodded. "I know you are. Doesn't make it any easier, though. We've all been knocked on our asses by your _mistake._ It'll take some time to mend the bridge." 

"I intend on trying my hardest." 

"Yeah? Then come to the wedding. Don't be _in_ the wedding, but at least come. For the friendship you have with her. For the strange acquaintance that we have." 

"It'll be too awkward," Angel tried to explain. 

"It's only awkward if you make it that way. Besides, I doubt that we're going to be thinking about you're feelings for her on our wedding day." 

"She still wants me to go?" 

"We both want you to go," Spike corrected. "Look, you're a right prick sometimes and I could throttle you for still loving my girl but you've been a part of our lives-" 

"You son of fucking bitch!" 

Spike and Angel turned to see a seething Darla standing in the doorway. Spike slowly turned to look at Angel, eyebrows raised in surprise and just a little bit of amusement. Angel didn't say anything, kept that stoic expression on his face that pissed Spike off endlessly. He couldn't get a read on him with his face set like that and if it bothered him, he knew it bothered Darla. 

"Darla," Angel began. 

"Screw you, Angel. I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have come back here. I knew I should have rid myself of this," she pointed at her belly. "You'll never love it. Never care enough for the two of us. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit but now I have something else besides myself to worry about." 

"Don't get too upset. It's not good for you or the baby," Angel told her. 

"Like you give a damn," Darla snickered. "You're still in love with her? All these years and you still..." She wiped away a single tear and groaned. "Fucking kid makes me weepy." 

"Darla, can we talk about this after Spike leaves?" 

"I'm leaving. I have to head back. Got a date with my lady," Spike jumped in, glad to Angel for the lead in. 

"Oh, so you're still getting married? Angel didn't destroy that? That's...nice. Good for you, Spike." 

"I wasn't trying to destroy anything," Angel tried to explain and Darla rolled her eyes. 

"I'll get in touch with you about the office spaces," Spike said quickly. "And think about the wedding." 

"Will do," Angel nodded and held out his hand. Spike looked at it for a moment and puffed up a bit before he quickly put his hand in Angel's and gave it quick shake. 

He stopped in front of Darla and rested a hand on her arm. He leaned over and whispered, "Give him hell." 

"It's the thing I'm best at," she replied and he saw the coldness in her eyes begin to thaw just a bit. His hands went to touch her stomach when she grabbed it. "Please don't touch me. I feel like a fucking animal at the zoo with all the people who have touched me." 

A small chuckle escaped Spike and he nodded to them both before he took off up the stairs. He'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. He hoped Darla stuck to his word and did, indeed, give him hell. He knew he went easy on Angel but on the drive over he thought about how it had really disrupted his world. When he looked at it closely, it really hadn't. The best thing it did was awaken that need in him to do more with his life. He had thought about it for over a year now and he wasn't sure if it was because of what happened that made Angel so easily agreeable but he didn't care. He'd have something of his own, for the most part, and that was far more important than the why. Hopefully, now that he had something tangible, something besides Buffy, he might be able to better explain his feelings to her. He took the high road with Angel to get what he wanted. Not only his own section of the agency but his actions guaranteed that he wouldn't have to deal with Buffy doing her best Darla routine when he got home. He smiled as he got in the car. He didn't think today would be a good day at all. With the exception of the morning, the day had turned out pretty damn good. His smile widened as the image of Buffy pressed against the kitchen wall, riding his fingers flashed through his mind. The car squealed out of the space as he raced home to make it into an even better night. 


	30. 30

**Chapter 30**

He hated the word giddy but if he needed a word to describe his current state that would be it. Giddy was more for his girl or Willow. It wasn't supposed to be used in regards to a man by the name of Spike but it was the only one he could think of as he made his way up the stairs to their apartment. There was a definite spring in his step and a feeling of euphoria flowing through him that he hadn't been this overwhelmed by since Buffy said yes.

He was finally his own man.

Spike knew he'd have to sober up a bit before he entered the apartment. The last thing he wanted was to make it seem like he had been out having himself a grand day while she was still surrounded in sadness from the previous night. He didn't know for certain and he hoped that time spent with Dawn had cheered her up some. Knowing her like he did, though, he would bet that even if her spirits were lifted, there would still be that underlying pain. He would be having none of that.

He would explain it to her as best he could. He would try to make her understand that the most important thing in his world was her and that would never change. He couldn't help but be nervous, though. He wasn't even a hundred percent sure why he had this sudden yearning, he just knew that he did. So he wondered if he would be able to get across to her what this had all been about.

Spike would have something all his own; something to call his. He could continue to do what he loved to do, he'd be closer to home, he'd make more money, he'd have Connor to teach, which could make Dawn happy in the long run. All of these factors were great but the best thing of all, was that it was his. Another missing piece of his future's puzzle put into place. Yeah, there was a definite spring in his step.

He stood outside the door, taking deep breaths and thoroughly prepping himself before entering. Smiling was okay; beaming certainly wasn't until he knew that everything was a-okay between them again.

He wished everything would be because trying not to smile hurt like a bitch.

He opened the apartment door and was met with the TV yelling "...you pansy-assed mama's boy" and that threw his effort of not smiling right out the window. He made sure to hang his coat on the rack and went into the den to find Buffy lying on the couch with her eyes closed. He glanced at the TV, laughing softly as he saw the phone bounce off Stu's head. He crawled over her and nestled himself between her and the back of the couch.

"Hey..." Buffy greeted, her voice quiet and stretching from sleep.

"_Scream_ again?"

"Needed a laugh." She opened one eye and sighed. "I missed the phone scene. Damn it. Funniest part in the whole movie."

"You are a quirky lass, aren't you?"

She turned slightly to look at him, her hand reaching behind her to grab his and wrapped it around her waist. "What? It's a funny movie. Who doesn't laugh at 'liver alone'?"

He leaned over and kissed her gently on the temple. When he pulled away, she was studying him, her eyes never settling on one place. When he started to feel antsy, he asked, "What are you doing?"

"Looking for visible markings. I don't see any..."

"It went well. No punching."

"Any oil?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind," Buffy answered absently, her mind replaying that nice fantasy from earlier in the day. "You look...different. You have a twinkle."

"I do not have a twinkle." He instantly puffed up, trying to put on a non-twinkling image and cursed himself silently for not being able to conceal it better.

"You most certainly do. What's going on?" She grabbed the remote control and shut off the TV. She turned her body to face him, resting her leg on top of his. His hand went to her hip and began massage to her through the denim of her jeans.

"You wanna fool around?" he asked, with a wiggle of his eyebrow and his tongue played behind his teeth.

She giggled and slowly rotated her hips. "No."

His mouth opened in shock before it formed into a smirk. "After all I do for you..."

"Tell me what's going on first. I can't take the suspense."

"And then?"

"And then I'm your very willing, and eager, sex slave who will do your bidding."

His mouth moved to her neck and he mumbled against her skin, "See, I really like the sound of that."

Buffy bent her head back, away from his wandering mouth and looked at him pointedly. "I'm waiting."

"How much detail do I have to give before we can start with you being my sex slave? I have to say that is far more intriguing."

"Give me the gist behind the twinkle and then..." She trailed off as her fingers wormed their way under his shirt, lighting touching his skin.

Spike closed his eyes briefly, reveling in the feel of her fingers. "I'm getting a new job."

"You quit the agency?" Buffy asked, her surprise evident.

"No, we're expanding and I'm in charge." He tried to tell her in a nonchalant fashion but she saw it, heard it. He was elated.

"Baby, that's so great!" She moved her hand up his shirt to his neck and pulled him close, kissing him hard on the mouth. "How did this happen?"

He shrugged. "When we were talking."

"And he's on board with this?"

"If memory serves, you got the gist, I get the nookie and then we talk details."

"Way to romance me, Spike."

"But you just sai-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence.

-------------------------

Buffy threw her fork on the plate and leaned back, placing her hand on her stomach. "I ate way too much."

"It's good for you. Want more wine?" Spike asked, holding up the bottle.

"Did you open another bottle?" He nodded and she sighed. "I shouldn't. Work tomorrow. Screaming teens and Snyder. I need to be on full-alert."

"Suit yourself." He took a sip. "Mmm, better than the last."

"You're just saying that because you're trying for some unknown reason to get me drunk. I've already had three glasses. I'm quite happy."

"Are you, now?"

She looked at him and frowned. She'd been with him long enough to know that question had an underlying meaning. It had nothing to do with what she was feeling currently and everything to do with what had happened over the weekend.

"Are you?" she queried.

"Don't answer a question with a question."

"Don't not answer the question."

"Don't you."

"Christ, Spike, just answer the question!"

"I've always been happy, pet." Her disbelief was written clearly on her face and he sighed. "Wipe that look off."

"Can you blame me?"

"I was, I have been, I ** am** happy. It had nothing to do with you. I know you're looking for an explanation."

"No, I'm not. I get it." She paused. "I think."

"It's not you, luv. You know that much, right?"

"You need something besides me. Additional support in case anything were to ever happen. If we didn't work out, which I don't even think about, or if something bad happened, you need to have something to fall back on."

"Uh..." Spike faltered.

"What you're going through has nothing to do with me or our relationship," she continued. His surprise was unmistakable and she smiled. "You needed something that was yours and yours alone. I have my job, my family and friends, who are your family and friends by the way so don't even act like they wouldn't be here for you if anything were to ever happen, got it?" He nodded, a bit dazed. "I don't think I need to tell you how much my mom and Dawn love you."

He nodded again and leaned forward in the chair, all of his attention on her. He didn't expect this. He was certain she would still be looking for answers that he wasn't sure he would be able to give. Now, here she was explaining it better than he could have.

"I understand, Spike. I think the way this came about-"

"I know this weekend has been..."

"Full of insanity and pain but it's over now, right?"

"Is it?"

"I'm not angry...I'm not sure I ever was. I was hurt, confused. I have no doubt that you were feeling the same things. Not everything can be perfect all the time and we know this, we've been through it before. It's totally normal and healthy. If we lived in bliss all the time, we'd be Stepford. I'm all set with that. You threw me for a loop but you were thrown for one, too. I honestly didn't think about what Angel said and its effect on you. I'm sorry for that. I was seeing only myself and not considering you in all this. Maybe because I** am** so secure with you that I don't worry about these things, which I thought was good."

"It's great," Spike commented.

"So I want to tell you that as important as it is for you to have something all your own, it's important to me, too. For my own selfish reasons, I need you to be happy. If opening your own portion of the agency is going to do it, then that's great. If it was quitting your job and becoming a slacker...well, less great but I'd still support you. You know this, don't you?"

"Of course. I feel the same way."

"So, I don't need an explanation, Spike, because I get it. I do. If I were in your position, I would want the same thing. People need to have something separate. I get that. You need something apart from us, that's yours and I can't believe I never realized it before."

"When did you become Kreskin?"

She smiled shyly. "Dawn, actually, is the all-knowing one. She's surprisingly deep for a twenty-one year old."

"Well, she's always..."

"What?"

"We've always understood each other," Spike shrugged. "I am sorry for what I said last night. It's not true. None of it. I need you. There will never be a time when I don't, but I needed this for me."

"I know." Buffy gave him a soft smile. "Our life won't work unless we're both satisfied."

"I am satisfied, though," he began to argue until she held up her hand.

"Maybe I phrased that wrong or maybe you're taking it the wrong way. My point is, as unfathomable as it is to me at times, I'm happy. Everything in my life makes me happy." Spike started to protest again and she quickly cut him off. "Wait. I'm not saying that it doesn't for you but there's obviously this void for you. Something in you that I can't touch. Something that you needed to do on your own. And I think it's terrific that you're trying to remedy this ache that you have. I can take bumps in the road, Spike. I have no problems with bumps. Life wouldn't be life without them. I have the feeling that even if Angel hadn't somehow started this, it would have come to the surface eventually. Who knows when but it would have happened and it could have been a lot worse. This is a bump and you've already put up those big orange under construction signs and began to work on fixing it. I love you for it."

He continued to stare at her, not saying a word and not moving a muscle.

"Spike? Are you alive in there?" she asked, waving her hand in front of his face.

"You know," he started, still not focusing on her but just past her, lost in his own train of thought. "I was coming up the stairs and I thought to myself that I was, and don't you laugh, giddy."

She laughed. He frowned.

"Is there something more than giddy?" he asked her, shifting his eyes to hers. "Because that's me. Right now."

"You contain it well."

"Don't like to be all flashy," he said with a smirk. He slipped off his chair and kneeled in front of her, taking her hands. "You amaze me."

She blushed, embarrassed. "I guess I have my moments."

"Lucky for me, they all seem to happen when I'm around."

Buffy smiled slightly and sighed. "So what happens now?"

"We clean up the mess I made and then I think we should sit back, relax, have a quiet Sunday night."

"Wait, 'we' clean?"

He flashed her a smirk before hoisting himself off the floor. He started collecting the plates when Buffy put her hand on his.

"We'll probably get more plates for wedding gifts. Throw 'em out."

"Now, I know you're joking."

"Grumble. Cleaning stinks," she lamented before grabbing the stacked dishes and bringing them to the sink. "I'm not cleaning the counters and the stove. That's your job, mister."

--------------------

"Don't we have something to discuss?" Spike asked.

"Haven't we done enough discussing? Let's just watch the movie."

"Wedding, pet. Thought you needed to tell Tara where..."

"You remembered?"

"Well, yeah."

"That's sort of sweet." She sat up from her position on the couch, turned herself around and placed her head on his lap. His hand instantly went to her head, massaging her scalp gently. "Mmm...haven't done that in days. Missed it."

"What are our options, again?"

"Mom's or the park. Unfortunately, I procrastinated and didn't call the park. I'm not sure if the day is free and tomorrow is the last possible day to tell Tara for the two months notice."

"Did you maybe procrastinate because you want it at your house?" When she didn't answer, he nodded his head. "It's fine with me. You could have said you wanted it there."

"I wasn't sure only because we didn't know where to go reception-wise. Now that we do I was leaning more towards Mom's. Dawn said Mom was hoping we'd have it there. She has already contacted landscapers and all that good stuff."

"Sounds like she was feeling very confident that we'd decide to have the ceremony there."

"That's exactly what I said but Dawn insists she only called to find out pricing and if they would be able to fix up the yard and porch in time."

"And the price?"

"She wouldn't tell me."

"You're mother is not paying for all that work on her own."

"Okay, you tell her that, then. I'll sit in the corner and laugh as the two of you go at it." Spike gave her a dirty look that she couldn't help but giggle at. "Spike, I know you and Mom get along really well. So well it scares me at times but the two of you are too stubborn for your own good. If you think she'll say 'that's fine' and split the bill or let us pay for it all, you have another thing coming."

"And if she thinks she's paying for all that work by herself, so does she. We decided we would do this-"

"I know that, but if people want to be generous and help us out, I don't think we should tell them no. Should I have said no to Andrew's far too kind offer?"

"No, but that's different."

"It's not. I'm sure he'll charge people an arm and a leg and he's not charging us anything. He's calling it a wedding present and you know what? I'm perfectly fine with that. I like presents and I like anything that ends up with us keeping our money."

"Have you been talking to Anya lately?"

"Shush. If it makes you feel better, we'll try to coerce the price from her and see what happens, okay?"

"Fine, but I still don't think she should be paying for it on her own."

"Your opinion has been duly noted. Oh, you did remember to tell Angel that you couldn't work on the 15th, right?"

"Of next month?"

"You forgot."

"No, I didn't..."

"You so did. That blank look on your face that you're trying to hide as I speak is answer enough. Wedding shower. Prezzies. Ring any bells?"

"A shower? Isn't that your deal? Just for the chits to get together and whatnot?"

"See, this is where the chits and I are sneaky. It's Jack and Jill. Xander will be there so you won't be the only one in the room with a penis."

"Isn't that still up for debate?" Spike joked.

Buffy's jaw dropped in mock shock. "Something happened to yours? Well, I can't marry you if that's the case."

"There's no worries for me in that regard and you know it. Got a..._taste_...for it this afternoon, if I remember."

She felt her face flush and she berated herself for trying to win when she knew she wouldn't. She never would when it came to his special talent of twisting words into a sexual innuendo. She may not be able to win but no one said she couldn't play.

"I could use more than a taste..."

"That's my girl," he smirked as he watched her move her body so that she straddled him.

"Forever," she whispered against his lips before her lips touched his softly. She pulled away and laughed lightly which caused Spike to look at her like she grew another head.

"Something funny, pet?"

"The word giddy flashed through my mind and with that came you saying you were and I couldn't help but-"

This time, Buffy didn't get to finish her sentence.

*************

a/n: Only 3 more chapters left. And I don't say this enough but I thank everyone who has taken their time to a) read and b) leave a review because it means the world to me. Without your kind support, I probably never would have finished.


	31. 31

**Chapter 31**

Flashback

"In the binding of yourselves have you created life anew. Step forth, therefore, into that new life and rejoice in your love."

They couldn't take their eyes off each other. Their fingers were lightly touching, bound together by the thin cord that now bound them.

"In the power of your love, I do pronounce you..."

They both giggled happily and their wedding party stopped trying to stifle their happy laughter.

"Wife and wife. I am happy to present to you, Willow and Tara."

The small gathering burst into applause and the newly wedded couple turned to face their onlookers. They raised their bound hands in the air and a squeal of happiness escaped Willow. She turned to her wife and kissed her gently on the lips before taking her flowers from Buffy and walking down the white pathway and to the waiting car at the edge of the park.

When they were in the car and driving off, people dispersed, going to their own cars and heading to the hall for the reception. Buffy walked over to Spike, who was standing with her mother, and looped her arm through his.

"Ready, Freddy?"

"Wasn't that beautiful?" Joyce asked. Dawn put her arm around her mother's waist and laughed softly as they watched Joyce's eyes well up with tears again.

"It's all she's been doing since the ceremony started," Spike told them.

"I have not," Joyce argued before she rolled her eyes and nodded. "Okay, I have but it was..."

"Beautiful?" Buffy joked.

"We best be going," Spike pointed out. "You know you want to go over your speech another fifty times before you give it."

"Shut up. It was not fifty times."

"Whatever you say, pet. Whatever you say."

"We'll see you over there," Dawn called to them as she led Joyce to their car.

"It **was** nice, wasn't it?" Buffy asked as they walked to the truck.

"Beautiful is a very appropriate word."

"Yeah," she agreed absently.

He unlocked the door and opened it for her and helped her in. She was still staring into the distance when he got on the driver's side and he furrowed his brow, not knowing what was going through her head.

"You alright, luv?"

"Uh...yeah, fine." She shook her head slightly and looked at him, smiling lightly. "Let's go."

-----------------------

Buffy cleared her throat and felt her palm grow wet as she held the microphone. Her eyes scanned the small party and she met Spike's, finding comfort in the small nod he gave her. "The great Amy Bloom once said, 'Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner'. I have the good fortune to call Willow and Tara two of my dearest friends. There are no two people who have a better sense of themselves and each other and it goes without saying that neither would have found a partner more fitting than the other."

She glanced out at the crowd before turning her attention solely on the now married couple. "I feel extremely lucky to have watched the two of you fall more in love as the years have passed. To have watched you grow together and overcome obstacles. You made me believe that this love thing could be very easy if you just let it. I thank you for that. I thank you for letting me see what it's all about. And I'm sure my surprisingly patient boyfriend thanks you, as well, because if it weren't for being able to see with my own two eyes how well love can work, who knows if I ever would have allowed myself to really feel it."

She held her glass up to the couple. "As was said in your ceremony, for as long as love shall last..." Everyone sipped his or her champagne. "I have no doubt it will last forever."

She walked over to Willow and Tara, slightly shaking and let them wrap their arms around her in a tight hug.

"That was lovely, sweetie. You're so nervous. Calm down, it's all over," Tara soothed.

"Was I swallowing my tongue?" Buffy asked, anxiously.

"Huh?" Willow asked, suppressing her giggle.

"Spike kept telling me that it sounded like I was swallowing my tongue."

"No, it was perfect," Tara reassured her.

"Oh, good. I can't wait to hear what Xander is going to say."

"Probably something completely inappropriate regarding that dream he had about the three us in the ice cream truck he used to drive," Willow answered.

"Oh, I hope not," Buffy chuckled.

"It was beautiful, Buffy, but..." Willow trailed off.

"But what?" Buffy asked, her voice catching, silently admonishing herself for whatever she did wrong.

"Who's the great Amy Bloom?"

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled shyly. "I pulled a you. I googled love quotes and that popped up."

"You googled?" Willow asked, beaming proudly. She wrapped her arm around her shoulder and smiled at Tara. "Love isn't the only thing we taught this girl."

--------------------------

"Have I told you how gorgeous you look today?" Spike asked, as he dipped her slowly and brought her back up.

"Yes, but I never get tired of hearing it when you say it in that low, sexy voice that makes my skin all tingly."

"Does it now?"

"You know that it does," she said, swatting his arm lightly. "Did I tell you how gorgeous you look today?"

"Actually, no."

"You look good enough to eat."

"Is that a promise?"

"Definitely." Buffy gave him her best sexy smirk and a flirty wink of the eye.

"Could I cut in?" They turned to see Willow standing beside them.

"Sure, but who are you taking?" Spike asked.

"Buffy, of course."

"That would be my choice, too, pet." He held Buffy's hand out to Willow and walked away, glancing back to see Buffy staring at his retreating form.

"Did you decide?" Willow asked, breaking Buffy away from her good Spike thoughts.

"Yes."

"And?"

"It's a go."

"Is he going to freak?"

"I hope so," Buffy told her.

"When?"

"Tonight, I think. It's time."

"That it is, my friend." They smiled at each other before separating, going to find their respective partners.

-------------------

"I thought there would be more..."

"More what?" Cordelia asked.

"More hot lesbian loving," Xander answered. "I'm kind of disappointed."

"Will you ever change?" she asked, clearly exasperated.

"No." He thought for a minute. "And you wouldn't want me to."

"Excuse me?" she asked, trying hard for a bitchy demeanor but cursing her rapidly beating heart.

"You heard me, Miss Chase."

Cordelia stepped away from him. "Thanks for the dance."

"That not go as well as you hoped?"

Xander turned to see Spike standing there, holding out a bottle of beer to his friend.

"I wasn't trying-"

"The hell you weren't, Harris."

"She's with Lindsey so it doesn't matter."

"It always matters. Always."

"Well, aren't we full of that good old fashion optimism tonight."

"What can I say? Weddings bring my inner git," Spike shrugged.

"When are you taking Buffy for that walk?" Xander asked.

"Soon..."

"You should wait until you're home and in bed."

"Hey, now. No Buffy in bed comments from you," he said, lightly but with just enough force that Xander said nothing more. The hurt look that flashed over Xander's face didn't go unnoticed by Spike and he instantly felt like an idiot. "Sorry. Just nervous."

"It's not like you haven't done this before," Xander joked.

"Believe me, I know, but this is it. I won't do it again if she-"

"She will."

"How can you be so sure? I'm not even sure."

"I know Buffy. She will," Xander stressed.

"Here's to hoping," Spike muttered, clinking his bottle to Xander's lightly.

----------------------------

"Mmm..." Buffy moaned against his lips. She shivered slightly as his hands moved up and down her sides, slowly enough to drive her crazy. Not wanting to remove her mouth, she mumbled, "We should get back in there. Help or something."

"No," he answered, moving his mouth down to her earlobe and biting it lightly. Her fingers dug into his lower back and he groaned in response, bucking his hips against hers.

"Spike..."

"I know." His hands went further and began to lift her dress until Buffy's hands covered his and pushed his away.

"No..."

"Yes."

"We're in the coatroom."

"Look at me not give a flying fuck." He pulled on her dress again but her hands stayed. He lifted his head to look at her. "We're not helping to clean up a wedding. That's why the hall hired people."

"I meant Will and Tara...gifts and stuff."

"That's very convincing, luv. Don't you want..." He trailed off as just one of his hands reached under her dress and he ran a finger up the front of her thong.

"Oh, god, yes," she whispered, letting the slight touch wash over her. "No, wait, no. Not here."

"Yes, here."

"It's a-"

"Coatroom. Perfect place if you ask me."

"Someone could come in."

"We'll be vewy, vewy quiet then."

"You just did Elmer!"

"I'm hoping to do you."

"You always know just what to say to break my resolve."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, but let's go over..." Buffy grabbed his hand and brought him to the back of the room. She patted the partition that blocked off a portion of the room. "This should hide us."

"Maybe I didn't want to hide."

"Maybe I'll just leave right now..." She backed away, smiling a little, knowingly and waited for him to reach out to her. When he did nothing but watch her back away, she stopped and put her hand on her waist. "Aren't you going to stop me?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"But...you always stop me."

"Or you always come back. I was waiting for you to come back." He held out his hand to her and she walked to him.

"Sit," she ordered. He raised an eyebrow but sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. He watched her walk over and smirked when she placed her legs on either side of him, lifted her dress and slowly lowered herself to the floor. She rested on his thighs, her hands instantly going to the button of his pants and undoing them. When he tried to move her to the floor, she pushed his hands away. "At least if we're caught, we can feign that we're just sitting here with me straddling you. They may not believe it but it's easier to accept than me on my back, legs tied around your waist and you..."

"Say it."

"No, I'm not going to say it," she told him with a blush. She stroked his erection lightly, making him shift his position, growing frustrated. "Impatient, much?"

"Come here," he growled, grabbing her waist and lifting her onto him.

"God..."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far..."

"Shut up and-"

"And what? Say it, luv."

She wiggled her hips, causing them both to moan as he went deeper. "You say it."

He stilled her moving body and looked her in the eye. "Say. It."

Her breath caught in her chest and she leaned forward, her lips brushing his ear. "Fuck me, Spike."

"I knew you could do it."

"Can _you_?"

"You challenging me?"

"Always, baby, always."

They moved together slowly and Buffy wondered how sometimes quickies became slow and vice versa. Anyone could walk in and sure they were hidden but that was never a guarantee.

"Do you...know how...bloody wonderful you are?"

"I have a...vague idea."

"You're going to be my wife," Spike told her, his voice strong with emotion.

"Yes," Buffy breathed out. "Yes, Spike."

"Buffy..."

"There...don't move...oh, god...Spike...Spike...Spike!" Her hands went to his shoulders and she began to shake him.

"Why...are you..."

"Spike, wake up!"

Spike shot his head up and blinked rapidly. He looked around and saw the hall was deserted.

"You sleep like the dead," Buffy told him, sitting on his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "Good dream."

"Yeah?" She shifted herself and felt the evidence of said good dream. "Want to tell me about it? I was wondering what all the whimpering was about."

"I don't bloody whimper."

"You were so going, 'mmm' and 'ahhh' and 'ehhmmhh'," she demonstrated.

"I do not go ehhmmhh. I don't even know how to do that."

"You just did," she said with a bright smile.

"It can wait until we get home."

She rubbed lightly against him. "Can it?"

"Are you trying to kill me, pet?"

"No, I'm trying to get you to tell me about this good dream."

"We were in the coatroom."

Buffy's eyes widened and her hand went to her mouth to hold in her giggle. "We were having sex in the coatroom?"

"Yeah..."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah..." he muttered with a shrug.

She stood up and straightened her dress. "Well, everyone's gone. Thanks for all that non-help, by the way."

"You could have woken me up. I would have-"

Her lips cut him off in a soft kiss. "I know." She started to walk away and turned slowly to look at him. "Are you coming?"

He nodded and got out of his chair. He clasped his hand in hers and she started walking towards the entrance. When he started to walk to the door, he felt his arm pull him in another direction.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to the coatroom," she said with a wink.

-------------------------

Buffy couldn't believe how nervous she was as she waited for Spike to come to bed. _This is crazy, Buffy._ She told herself to be quiet. Something had to be done and it was apparently up to her to take the bull by its horns. She fingered the box under the sheet and took another deep breath. _This is easy. It's not a big deal. No. Big. Deal._

Spike entered the room, flashing her a quick smile before he threw his clothes in the hamper. _Yeah, Buffy, really easy. _The butterflies in her stomach decided to flutter a hundred times over as he made his way to their bed.

"You alright, luv?" She could only nod. "You sure? You look like a deer caught in headlights."

"No, no, I'm fine."

Spike leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek before turning around. She heard the bedside table drawer open and she wondered what he was doing.

"Spike?"

"Buffy," he started, turning around again. "Today was good."

"Today was great. Lots of fun was had, Will and Tara were thrilled and it was all so...lovely."

"That it was..." He wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged her over to him. "Your speech-"

"I know. They said it was good but I left out so much of it. I just couldn't think when I got up there and when I went to look at my crib sheet, the ink was smeared from the condensation of the glass I was holding because I stupidly didn't put the paper in my non-glass holding hand-"

"Pet? It was great. They loved it. You said...you said something about me being surprisingly patient."

"Oh! Well, yeah, you are."

"You know why, right?"

"Um, sure...because you love me," she answered. "Right?"

"Yes, right but it's more than that." He stopped talking and after a few minutes of silence, Buffy reached her hand out to touch his face.

"Spike? Waiting here."

"You're my passion, Buffy. You're...everything. You keep me grounded, you keep me high, you excite me and infuriate me, you love me like no one ever has and I know like no one ever will. You are my soul, my light. I could wait for the rest of my life for you but-"

"Spike-"

"Buffy-"

"Will you marry me?" they asked at the same time. Two sets of eyes went wide when they realized what the other had asked and then two brows furrowed in confusion.

"What?" They did it again.

Buffy put her hand to his mouth. "Did you just ask me to...?"

Spike nodded and Buffy slowly removed her hand. "Did you just ask me to...?"

She nodded, a smile breaking out on her lips before it fell away and she looked at him seriously. "You said you weren't going to ask again until a regular, boring day came along."

"It was a regular, boring day."

"Oh, do you go to many lesbian handfasting rituals?"

"I got tired of waiting." He reached behind him and brought his arm back, holding out a small black box. "I've had this for so long...You might not even like it anymore."

She mimicked his motions and held a box to him. "I wasn't sure what to get you and Larry was of no help."

They each took their respective boxes and opened them. Spike quirked an eyebrow but said nothing while Buffy squealed when she saw the ring she had her eye on. It was simple, as she never wanted anything extravagant. It was a pear shaped diamond with a smaller diamond on both sides set on a white gold band. She couldn't believe he remembered or had even seen that she had noticed it.

"Spike, I saw this ring almost two years ago."

"I know."

"I can't believe Larry still had it." He didn't say anything and her mouth formed in an 'o'. "You didn't get it from him. Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"I did buy it from him." She tilted her head in confusion. "A week after we went."

"What?"

"You said you didn't want me to ask again after War...after the incident. When we went to the store for Dawn's present, I saw you look at it and I went back and started paying for it."

"How long have you had this in your possession?"

"A year."

"A _year_, Spike?"

"We're not going to fight now, are we?"

"No, it's just...you should have...you know what? It's not important."

"You never answered me, Buffy." He looked at her quickly before looking down at the bed.

She put a finger under his chin and lifted his face to hers. She kissed him and softly said, "Of course it's yes, Spike." She leaned back and held the box to him. "Will you put it on?"

She couldn't count how many times she had seen him smile over their years together but she had never seen him smile like _that_. If she had known he would have looked the way he did, she would have said all those years ago. His whole face was alight with happiness and his eyes were twinkling, the bluest she had ever seen them. She could feel his hand shaking as he held hers and her fingers wrapped around his palm in a comforting squeeze. He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her finger after it was on.

"Hey, you didn't answer me," she said.

"I'll have to think about it. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my bachelor life-style." He took the thick silver band from the box and turned it back and forth in his fingers. It looked like a ring he used to have that he had lost. "Put it on."

"You like it?" He nodded. "I didn't know what to do. There's no engagement ring for men but I saw this and it reminded me of that ring you had that you belly-ached about losing for six months."

"I did not belly-ache."

"You know you did."

"Why?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you ask?"

She rolled her eyes and gave him a look that made him feel silly for asking such a question. "I didn't know when you were going to ask again and helping Will and Tara, I wanted it. I was tired of people wondering why we weren't married yet or asking when we were going to get married. I wanted to stop introducing you as my boyfriend and introduce you as my husband. I want to hear you introduce me as your wife. I want your children, I want a home with a stupid picket fence and a dog...I want to move forward in all aspects of life and I want it all with you."

"Buffy."

"I love you, Spike, and I didn't know when you were going to ask again, if you ever were. I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands."

"Thank you," he replied quietly.

"No, thank you for everything. I don't think I could ever really tell you-"

"You don't need to. I know," Spike interrupted. "I-"

The phone ringing cut him off and Buffy turned to answer it. 

"Hi, Mom. You'll never believe what's happened!...What? How did you...oh." She frowned at Spike and he ducked his head, hiding his smile. "Of course I said yes, Mom. I have to go."

"There was supposed to be a plan, luv," he explained when she turned back to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's why she knows but I fell asleep-"

"How you ever fell asleep during a wedding...Ooh! Don't you even think about doing that at our wedding."

"You'll just have to keep me busy," he said, wiggling his eyebrow.

"How ever shall I do that?"

"Let me show you..."

End Flashback

*************

tbc...


	32. 32

**Chapter 24**

Spike leaned in his chair and whispered, "I thought you loved me."

"I do."

"Then why are you making me do this?"

Buffy turned to him, a look of exasperation on her face. "For the last time, as the groom, you are destined to help me unwrap the lovely gifts our wonderful friends have given us and to smile and say, without sarcasm, 'Wow, another toaster! Bloody fantastic! Wouldn't you say, pet?' Or something to that effect."

"Bloody fantastic," Spike mumbled, as he opened another set of glasses. "Who doesn't need glasses, right, pet?"

Buffy glared at him before taking the box from his lap and placing it beside her so Willow could write the gift in the book. She turned her attention back to the gathering and found Amy's gaze. She smiled brightly and said thanks.

"It's only difficult and annoying if you make it so, hon," Buffy told him as she picked up another gift. "Now be a good little groom and I may be convinced to wear what Anya gave me."

He quirked an eyebrow at that. Just the thought of what she would look like in the very skimpy red lingerie set Anya had given her made him hard. He knew that what he had in his mind's eye would never compare to the real thing. He also was aware that Buffy wasn't pleased by the gift. She thought that Anya could have given it to them in private as opposed to at the shower but Spike had found the gesture so very Anya-like. He particularly got a kick out of the bright red color Rupes had turned when Buffy opened the card and his name had been placed there, as well. He suppressed his smile as he remembered Anya yelling out, "And they're crotchless, too!" and the horrified looks that passed over Giles and Buffy's faces.

Before he could answer her, she continued, "And if you're not, I'll make you wear it." She placed a large, fake smile on her face before she opened her present. "Oh, look, baby, it's a _toaster_!"

-----------------------------------

"So, in total, you guys received four sets of glasses, two blenders, a toaster, a toaster _oven_, towels, his and her monogrammed robes-"

"Who were those from again?" Buffy asked.

"Uh...Lorne," Willow answered as she looked at her list.

"Should have known..."

"And pajamas," Tara added. "He apparently thinks you'll be sleeping or lying around quite a bit."

"Someone should have told the bloke we sleep in the nude," Spike threw in.

"So didn't need to hear that," Cordy said, scrunching up her nose.

"We do not. Don't get them going, Spike," Buffy chided, lightly.

"I think everyone should give money. People always need money," Anya reasoned.

"_You_ didn't give us money," Buffy told her pointedly.

"She gave us something infinitely better," Spike drawled as he leaned over to kiss her neck lightly. Buffy rolled her eyes and saw the large smile on Anya's face.

"I, again, want to say that I had nothing to do with that...gift," Giles reiterated.

"We know," Buffy laughed.

"I don't understand why you're acting like it was the filthiest thing on the planet, Rupie. You seem to like the one I have just fine," Anya interjected.

"And I _so_ didn't need to hear that, either," Cordy repeated.

"We registered and everything. I guess it just goes to show that no matter what you do, you're bound to get duplicate gifts," Buffy said with a shrug. "Did we get any money?"

Willow nodded and handed her the envelope. "Open it later," she told her quietly.

"How much?" Anya asked.

"I don't know. We'll figure it out," Buffy answered.

"Figure it out now. I'll do it."

"No, it's fine. We'll look when we get home."

"Buffy, we're not going to steal the money," Anya sighed in exasperation.

"I didn't think you were going to. No offense but it's just not your business."

"Well, see if I ever get you anything ever again," she said in a huff, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Dear, don't act like that. They reserve the right to not share everything with us," Giles tried to reason with his wife.

"Pfft" was Anya's only answer and Giles looked to the couple with a slight roll of his eyes. Buffy shook her head and hid her smile. She didn't think it would ever be easy to hear Giles call Anya dear or to try and calm her down. She couldn't, however, deny that they loved each other and that made it all easier to swallow. Especially when sexy lingerie was thrown into the mix.

"So what comes next?" Xander asked Buffy.

"Of course, you wouldn't remember, Xander. You barely paid attention when we were going to get married." All eyes went to Anya but she didn't notice.

"I believe you've had quite enough of this," Giles said, taking the glass of wine from Anya's grip. "I think it be best if we made our way home."

"Oh, right. Shut Anya up before she says something inappropriate or offends someone with her wicked tongue. I was merely commenting on the fact that Xander-"

"We know what you were commenting on but let's drop it now and go on home. Yes?" Giles asked, his demeanor softening.

"Will you sing to me?" she requested with a pout.

"Of course, my dear."

"Naked?"

Giles visibly blanched and quickly nodded his head slightly before pulling her up from the chair. They said their goodbyes, Giles apologizing once again for Anya's behavior and present which resulted in Buffy pushing them out the door.

"Do you really think Giles sings naked?" Willow wondered.

"Can we please stop because the images I have flashing in my head are starting to make me feel queasy," Xander pleaded.

"I think we're going to leave, too," Buffy said. "I'll come back tomorrow and help you clean up."

"Don't worry about it," Cordelia told her. "That's what I have Dawn and Connor for."

"What?" Dawn shrieked. "I thought...with the waitressing that I was off the hook. Connor, however, should definitely be forced to clean."

"The both of you are still working everything off. You're lucky you're able to keep the tips you earn."

"Just think of this as a lesson learned, bit. You'll be sure never to do anything that will lead to you be indentured to Cordelia," Spike offered.

"Yeah, tell me about," Dawn mumbled. "It hasn't been so bad..."

"I heard you swept at the poker game last night," Cordelia said. "And if I wanted to be extremely bitchy, I would take that money, too, but I'm not."

"No, Cordy's just misunderstood," Xander joked.

"Damn right I am."

"What poker game?" Spike and Joyce asked at the same time.

"Uh, nothing. No poker game. Cordy's, you know..." Dawn made circles with her finger next to her temple.

"Sure..." Joyce shook her head, deciding that it would be in her best interest to not know.

Dawn leaned over to Spike and whispered, "I'll tell you later. Lots of fun."

Spike quirked an eyebrow and nodded, pleased. He glanced at Buffy who was shaking her head, showing her disapproval of the idea. He simply hunched his shoulders in response. He would just have to work on that later.

"No one answered my question. What comes after this?" Xander asked again.

"Well, we'll have the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."

"So when do we throw him the bachelor party? That's what I'm getting at."

Buffy laughed. "I ask that you will do it at least a week before. That's when mine is."

"Your what?" Spike asked.

"My bachelorette party."

"You are not having a sodding bachelorette party."

"Yes, I am. The girls' have already planned it. End of discussion."

"What do you do at this party of yours?"

"The same thing as you but with men," Cordy informed him when Buffy shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore. She didn't particularly care if she had one or not but they had insisted on it.

"No bloody way!"

"Will you calm down? She's not going to screw strippers."

"You're going to screw strippers?" Buffy asked, alarmed.

"No, of course not!" Xander jumped in.

"Can we please keep the screwing strippers comments to a minimum?" Joyce asked, her voice tense and her gaze flitting over to Dawn.

"I am not a kid, anymore. Bring on the screwing strippers."

"Dawn Summers!"

"Mom, please," she stated simply with a toss of her hair. "I am invited, yes?"

"Of course," Cordy answered and then saw the look on Joyce's face and quickly added, "Not."

"Twenty-two years ago, you gave birth to me, Mom. Stop acting like I'm still in diapers," Dawn complained.

Joyce held up her hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. As long as your sister doesn't mind you being there, I suppose I can adjust to your going."

Dawn's gaze swung over to Buffy and she smiled at the hopeful shine in Dawn's eyes. "If you want to see half-naked man gyrating around, then it's fine by me."

"Yay!" Dawn squealed, hugging her sister tightly. She let her go and bounced up and down happily.

"Dawn, come with me. I want to show you what you'll have to do tomorrow," Cordy said, grabbing her arm and whisking her away. "We're going to have so much fun."

Dawn looked at her quizzically before realizing that Cordy wasn't talking about cleaning about the party. "Yeah? Can't wait to find out."

"Xander, can you help Spike load this stuff into the truck?" Buffy asked.

"Sure."

"And why aren't you helping?" Spike asked.

"I have to talk to Mom. I'll be out in a minute." She quickly kissed him on the lips and tapped his bottom as she passed by. She turned to quirk an eyebrow at him and received one of his knee-weakening smirks.

"Everything alright, honey?" 

"Yeah," Buffy sighed as she sat down next to her mother at the bar. She twirled a napkin around absently, knowing her mother was waiting for her to continue. "Tara? Will?" 

"Oh! Right," Willow exclaimed and grabbed Tara's hand, quickly moving to the bar. 

"What's going on?" Joyce asked, bewildered. 

"Did I miss it?" Dawn asked as she and Cordy came out of the kitchen. 

"You were supposed to wait for us!" Cordy said, her chagrin evident. 

"We haven't said anything yet," Tara informed her. 

"Someone better say something soon," Joyce warned. 

"Okay," Buffy started. "As the only woman in the room who has currently given birth...guess which one of us is pregnant?" 

They all let out a chuckle at Joyce's shocked expression and then grew serious as she looked around at the five women, giving each of them once over but going back between Buffy and Dawn numerous times. 

"Well, Mom?" Dawn asked. 

"When you throw two of my daughter's in the mix, you have to expect me to be a little thrown off," Joyce explained. 

"Would that be so bad?" Buffy asked. 

"Of course not, dear. If it were you, I'd be thrilled." 

"But not if it was me," Dawn stated. 

"I'm pleading the fifth on that one." 

"So..." Cordelia prodded. 

"Um..." she stalled, looking between the other three girls. "Can I pick a name out of a hat?" 

"Oh, come on, Mrs. Summers. It's no fun if you don't guess," Willow tried. 

She looked at Dawn one last time, to which her daughter rolled her eyes and Joyce felt a giant weight lifted off her shoulders. She replayed Willow's last comment in her head and smiled. "Tara." 

"Holy shit," Cordy whispered, surprised. 

"How did you know?" Willow asked, barely able to keep her excitement to a minimum. 

"You. You were way too excited about me guessing." 

"See, I told you to calm down," Tara scolded lightly. 

"Hey! I did very good. Through out that entire party, I kept my hands to myself, I didn't say a word to anyone. I am quite proud of me right now." 

"As you should be, sweetie." Willow smiled and rested her chin on Tara's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her waist, her hands resting on Tara's stomach. 

"I think my asking how this happened wouldn't be unjustified," Joyce commented, smiling. "And come here! Let me give you a congratulatory hug." 

Tara stepped into Joyce's embraced and Willow quickly followed, both women reveling in the warmth of the older woman embrace. They stepped away from her and resumed their previous position. 

"Cordy?" Willow asked, eyebrow raised in question. 

"I let them borrow Xander." 

"Not what I was expecting to hear," Joyce retorted. "By borrow you mean what exactly?" 

"We didn't, you know, _borrow_ Xander in a sexy way," Willow answered quickly. 

"There was a cup, dirty magazines, a doctor and an implanting of a fertilized egg," Cordy explained. 

Tara laughed. "We were going to keep it quiet until we hit the third month but we just couldn't keep it to ourselves anymore." 

"And we didn't know when Xander would accidentally spill the beans so..." Willow trailed off. 

"And you were okay with this?" Joyce asked Cordelia. 

"The same exact thing I wondered," Buffy remarked. 

"I'm fine with it. Xander and I have only been back together a short time so I wasn't exactly in the position to tell him what to do. He asked if I was okay with it and that...that meant a lot." 

"How long have you two known?" 

"I found out about a week ago," Buffy answered. 

"This morning," Dawn grumbled, clearly upset to have been left out of the loop. 

"Don't be like that, Dawn. I'm their best friend, I was maid of honor at their wedding and I had no idea they were even thinking of doing this." 

"We didn't want to tell people and get their hopes up, which would have led to us getting even more excited over the prospect of it and if it didn't work..." Willow tried to clarify. 

"But it did and that's all that matters," Buffy said, happily. 

"Please don't say anything to anyone. We're not telling anyone else until later on," Willow requested. 

"My lips are sealed," Joyce told her with a smile. "So, Spike doesn't know?" 

"We didn't tell him," Tara said. 

"He doesn't know, right, Buffy?" Willow asked. 

"Sure?" 

"Buffy..." 

"Well, I'm sorry! You tell me this and then I start thinking about babies and when two lesbians are about to have a child, you start to think that maybe you should be having them, too, seeing as you've been with the same man for the last nine years. I tried not to say anything. I really did but you know how annoyingly perceptive he can be when it comes to me and I was all introspective, asking him questions about starting a family and you know..." She looked at Willow and Tara, her face awash with her anxiety. "I'm really sorry. If it makes you feel any better, he thought it was Cordy because apparently Xander kept dropping clues about...things." 

"Things?" Tara questioned. 

"Guy type things...being a man, virile, strong swimmers and all that. So when he asked me and I didn't answer, he assumed it was Cordy and what was I supposed to do? Let him think it was her?" 

"I suppose not..." Willow mumbled. "He hasn't even said congratulations." 

"I told him to act like he didn't know. I didn't want to get the Rosenburg resolve face." 

"That only leaves Giles and Anya...Maybe we should just tell them, too," Tara ventured. 

"No, we haven't even told my family yet." 

"This is our family, Will," Tara said, softly. "Giles and Anya just complete it. We don't know how you're parents will react or not react, for that matter." 

"Fine, we'll tell them tomorrow." 

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that one," Cordy cracked. "All that British blustering? Funny, funny stuff." 

-------------------------- 

"Here you are telling me to be quiet about it and suddenly I'm getting a ration of shit for not congratulating the happy couple," Spike complained, collapsing on the bed. 

"It came up. You people can't expect me to keep things to myself. I tried to say you didn't know. They didn't believe me." 

"You probably didn't try very hard to convince them otherwise. What did you do? Give them an answer where you sound completely unsure of yourself?" 

"No." 

Spike laughed heartily. "Sure you didn't, luv." 

"Whatever," she muttered. "You can officially kiss crotchless lingerie good bye tonight." 

"Now I know I'm right. You're getting all defensive-like, threatening to take away my...toys." 

"I'm not your toy." 

"But that lingerie is." 

"It's _my_ lingerie." 

"It was meant for the both of us." 

She grabbed it from the box and threw it at him. "Then by all means, wear it." 

"I'm not putting anything on where my bits are going to be dangling all about." 

"But you don't wear underwear so..." 

"There's a bloody huge difference between going bare and wearing _your_ lingerie." 

"Oh, now it's mine?" she asked, smiling. 

"Why are we even discussing this?" Spike mumbled. "Besides, you putting it on just means I'd have to bother taking it off and I'd just rather skip that tonight." 

"Um, do I need to explain the crotchless thing to you?" 

"I'll always prefer you in the buff to you in a scrap of red lace and silk." 

"Good to know." 

"Doesn't mean you won't be wearing this sometime soon, however," he smirked as he twirled the material around by the spaghetti strap. 

"I am loving these pajamas Lorne gave us. Gray silk. Mmm...it's like mmm..." she sighed as she moved her fingers over the material. 

"Again, I say too much to remove." He shifted his position on the bed, relieving some the sudden stress he felt in his pants. _Her and her bleeding mmms._

"No, look. Mine is a short nightie and yours...well, there's only bottoms. Isn't that weird?" She held up both parts and shook her head. 

"Lorne isn't known for his subtlety, pet. I'm thinking mine had a shirt and he simply didn't give it to me." 

"Clever...I know I'm not complaining," she said with a smirk of her own. "In fact, could you please wear these tonight?" 

"No." 

"Really? Why?" 

"I don't want anything coming between you and I. If I roll over and have a sudden need to take you, I don't want to fuss with any pants." 

She studied him for a minute, all stretched out on the bed, his arms resting behind his head and she felt her heart speed up and a flush spread over her skin. She placed the garments in the box haphazardly and sauntered over. She kneeled on the bed and crawled up to him, both of them breaking into a smile as she mimicked his own moves from so many previous nights. She straddled his thighs and sat lightly, ignoring the evident bulge in his jeans. 

"You have plans of the naked variety for us tonight?" 

"Every night." 

"Anything special?" 

"Isn't it always?" he countered, running his tongue along the edge of his teeth. 

She tried to repress the shudder that ran down her spine. _Damn him and that tongue._ "You going to put that thing to use or just play with it in your own mouth?" 

She squealed as he flipped her onto her back and cradled himself between her legs, her thighs pressing into his hips tightly and holding him in place. 

"What are you going to do now?" 

She smiled. "I think the question is, what are _you_ going to do now?" 

"So many possibilities..." he murmured against her skin as he kissed along her collarbone. 

"You going to pick one?" 

"You." 

"Okay. That's easy." 

"Yeah?" 

She nodded and put her hands on both sides of his head. He smiled thinking and started to move up when she shook her head and pushed him down. 

"Right bossy chit you are." 

"You said..." 

"And what do I get?" 

"You mean you're expecting something besides the joy of giving me oral pleasure?" 

He kissed the inside of her thigh, his fingers dancing lightly along her skin, causing her leg to shake slightly. "Ticklish?" 

"You know that I am when you do that." He abruptly stopped and nudged her leg farther apart, resting his head on her thigh. "Um, what's going on?" 

"Are we going to have kids soon?" 

"Where is this coming from? Because of last week?" 

"Well, it's not like I never thought of it before Red and Tara's news." 

"So you have thought about it?" 

"I'm not even dignifying that with an answer, kitten. You should know." 

"Spike, out of all the things we talk about, we haven't discussed starting a family. I think maybe once when I had stopped taking the pill for a while and I was late but we've never seriously talked about it." 

"I would think we wouldn't have invested all this time if we weren't going to go the distance, right? I guess I'm curious as to when is all," he said with a small shrug. 

"Let's get married first, okay?" she asked, laughing softly. 

"But..." 

"But what, honey?" 

He looked her in the eyes and she felt her breath catch in her chest at the excitement in them. "I want to see you, belly full of us combined, all glowing and beautiful," he leaned forward and kissed her stomach, "I want to see you go through the stages, feel her kicking away, watch what we've been working on all these years come to fruition." 

"Her?" 

He nodded, a knowing smile on his face. "I have no doubt that Summers women will continue to rule my life." 

She giggled and ran her fingers through his hair. "Do you have a name for her?" 

"I've always fancied Penelope." 

"As long as no one calls her Penny." She paused, thinking. "What if it's a boy?" 

"Jacob." 

"You've put a whole lot of thought into this, haven't you?" she asked, a little taken aback. 

"Sure, have to keep my mind occupied on some of those long stake outs. Thinking of you always helps pass the night." His hand moved back to her thigh and began to gently knead it, smiling against her skin when he heard the soft moan come from above him. "You've never thought about it, then?" 

"Oh, I have. I'm just surprised that you have...to that extent. Why didn't you say anything?" 

"Honestly didn't think you would have considered it if we weren't married." 

"That wouldn't have made a difference, Spike. When I finally smartened up and kissed you that night, I knew I would be with you for the rest of my life. I **knew** it. If you had all these thoughts, I wish you would have mentioned it." 

"I figured that if you wanted to talk about it, you'd bring it up," he explained. 

"So Penelope, huh?" 

"That's right." 

"And what is she going to do?" 

"She'll do whatever she wants to do." He glanced up at her and smiled. "She's ours after all, isn't she?" 

*************

tbc...


	33. 33

**Chapter 25**

"You look too nice," Spike said, wrapping his arms around Buffy's waist.

"I do? See, I was thinking no more than a five."

"That shirt, if you can call it that, is an eight on its own."

"Hmm...good to know," she mused, applying her lipstick.

"You're going to change, right?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "No time, Spike. They'll be here very soon and I like my top."

"The jeans are very tight."

"They are not that tight. Jesus."

"Are you even wearing a bra?"

She placed her hands on the counter, her fingers tightening around the edge and forced herself to smile. "Honey, we are both going out, we are both going to look at naked people and you don't hear me asking you fifty trillion questions about it."

"How naked do these blokes get?"

"How naked do your strippers get?"

"Are they going to touch you?"

"Are they going to touch_ you_?"

"Stop doing that."

"Stop asking idiotic questions. Besides, isn't there some law about them having to stand six feet away or something? If I'm not worried or turning green, you shouldn't be either."

"But-"

"But nothing, Spike. Don't make me begin to rethink this whole getting married thing."

"Funny, pet."

"Wasn't trying to be," she said with a wink. "Did you hear from Angel?"

"He's staying with Darla and the brat tonight."

"The brat has a name."

"The brat does nothing but cry."

"He's three weeks old, Spike! That's pretty much what they do."

"Ours won't. Pen will be as quiet as a mouse."

"Oh, she will, will she? That will make life very easy."

He buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. "You smell too good."

"Oh, brother."

-----------------------

"Why didn't you tell me that Oz was coming for the week?"

"Didn't I?" Spike asked as Buffy shook her head. "Well, he is and he's bringing his girl, Beth. I think that's her name."

"Did you talk to Wesley about next weekend?"

"Everything is all set, luv. Stop your worrying."

"What about when we leave for the week in June? What are they going to do about the office?"

"Buffy," he began, grabbing her waist and spinning her around. "First, stop cleaning-"

"I'm hanging my clothes up. Not cleaning."

"Second, stop worrying. I have it under control." He knew the "Are you sure?" look was coming before it even formed on her face. "Wes and Faith will be here next weekend and they will be watching the place when we go on our honeymoon, along with Connor. Everything is fine."

"Angel's not upset?"

"Has nothing to be upset about," he told her with a shrug.

"Spike, for the past two months, all talk has been about opening the new office. You open it and two weeks later, we're getting married and going away for two days. And next month, we're going away for a week."

"Angel's known for a long time that we weren't taking our honeymoon until after school let out for you and he knew our plans weren't changing just because we were opening. Believe me on this. There is nothing to worry about."

"Fine," Buffy conceded, turning to the bed and picking up another blouse. She put it on the hanger and put it back in the closet.

"You know, that's a nice top. You should wear that tonight."

"Let. It. Go."

---------------------

"Spike, relinquish your hold already. We have places to be," Cordelia commanded.

"Yeah, man. We have places to be, too," Xander added.

Spike unwrapped his arms from around Buffy and sighed. Buffy held in her laughter and rolled her eyes.

"Don't give me that look. Excuse me for not loving the idea of you ogling naked men."

"Aren't you all going to ogle women?" Cordelia asked.

"Exactly the point I've been trying to make for weeks now," Buffy said.

"So, it's okay for you to have a party but it isn't okay for Buffy? Is that what you're trying to tell me, Spike?"

"No, of course not."

"And yet that's exactly how it sounds," Cordy teased.

"Two words for you, Spike. Lap dances," Xander said with a knowing nod and an arched eyebrow.

"We'll be right back," Buffy broke in suddenly as she grabbed Spike's arm and led him down the hall. She pushed him against the wall and wrapped her arms around his neck. "No lap dances."

"I thought you said there's a law-"

"I don't know for certain but there will be no lap dances."

"Well, who's the jealous kitten now?"

"There will be no gorgeous women rubbing their goods all over my soon-to-be husband. Watch from your seat all you want but no one will straddle you and do...stuff. Understand?"

"What if I don't have a choice?"

"Meaning?"

"What if the guys-"

The shaking of her head cut him off. "No lap dances." Buffy leaned forward and ran her tongue over his lips before taking the bottom one into her mouth and biting down lightly.

"I'd rather stay here and have you give me one instead," he told her, his arms tightening around her waist.

"Will you two stop doing it already and get out here!" Cordy yelled.

"Boobies! Boobies that we don't see everyday." A beat. "Ow, Cordy!"

Buffy and Spike laughed just imagining the scene in the other room.

"You're mine. Don't you forget it," Buffy warned.

"Wouldn't want to."

Her hand slipped down the front of his pants and cupped him. "I'd rather stay here and play with this all night."

"How come we'd both rather be doing almost the exact same thing and yet we're allowing ourselves to be dragged off to see other naked people, who won't be nearly as attractive as we are, dance?"

She sighed before she smiled at him. "Tradition."

------------------------------

"Shake it, baby! Shake it!" Anya yelled.

Buffy and Cordelia exchanged a look and both rolled their eyes. Dawn sat next to Buffy, one hand covering her mouth to contain her giggles and the other over her eyes, her fingers spaced apart so she could see through them. Willow and Tara sat behind them, not watching the festivities and instead talking as intimately as one could in a loud strip club.

Anya jumped up from her chair and waved the five-dollar bill. "You really deserve this," she said as she stuck the bill in his thong. "You have many wonderful assets that I would put to good use if I weren't a married woman."

"Bet your husband doesn't compare to this," the dancer said, swiveling his hips for good measure.

"He keeps me filled to the brim with orgasms, thank you very much," she said with a huff and sat back down. "I can't believe I gave him my money."

"I can't believe everyone else, with the exception of Faith, left. Lightweights," Cordy grumbled.

"Even the two lesbians have stayed!" Anya said, a tad too loudly.

"Where is Faith?" Buffy asked.

"Banging someone's boyfriend would be my guess," Cordy answered. Seeing Buffy's look, she sighed and said, "Bathroom."

"I wonder if the men are having a good time," Tara said.

"Where were they going again?" Willow asked.

"Wonderland," Anya told them. "It's very nice. I brought Rupie there on our anniversary and then when he was good and worked up, I brought him back to the apartment and-"

"We get it," Dawn broke in. "I'm sorry, but I don't see how this is fun."

"You're not doing it right, Dawn. First, you have to look at the dancers. See which one you like and then don't take your eyes away. Just watch every muscle move, watch his penis bounce about in that tight little thong, imagine licking the sweat and oil off his well proportioned body...Ooh! Like that one." Anya pointed to a huge man who was pumping his hips faster than she could keep track of. "He's probably like a drill hammer in the sack! It's all about the imagination."

"I think I'm going to be scarred for life," Dawn lamented.

"Hey, you wanted to come," Buffy pointed out. "I think Will and Tara are leaving soon, go home with them."

"We are, indeed," Willow said. "It's past midnight and you know, gay, so this really does nothing for us. Just here for morale support. Plus, Tara's tired and we need to keep Tara rested up."

"How's it going?" Buffy asked.

"Fine," Tara said with a smile as she put her hand on her small belly. "But I do get tired so easily now."

"Which is perfectly normal," Willow jumped in. "I'm not complaining. Keeping my girl in bed all the time works out just fine for me." They giggled together and Willow stroked Tara's hair.

"Will everyone please stop being so...so...lovey-dovey! A single girl can't take it!" Dawn yelled.

"There's plenty of meat to chose from," Faith said, sitting down.

"I'm not going to date a stripper."

"Who said anything about date?" She wiggled her eyebrows and Dawn gave her the cold glare.

"Figures you'd still be all about a quick fuck," Cordelia sniped.

"Actually more for a long fuck. Wes has tricks up his sleeves that you couldn't even begin to imagine."

"And how long until you grow tired and throw yourself at someone else? Or, maybe, someone else's boyfriend?"

"Look, Queen C, I'm only going to say this once because I'm not the apologizing kind. Sorry I screwed your boy back in the day but from what I hear you two worked it all out so lay off."

"Okay, okay. Let's not do this here," Buffy pleaded. "Yeah?" She looked back and forth between Cordy and Faith. They both nodded and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"We should go spy on the men," Faith suggested. "This place is sort of beat, anyway."

"I'm not going to look at naked women," Dawn protested.

"Don't go then," Faith retorted.

"Oh, so now you're going to go do something that interests us?" Willow teased.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Buffy said.

"Like you're not dying to know exactly what it is they're up to over there," Cordy prodded.

"You game?" Faith asked her.

"I can't believe I'm agreeing with you on anything, but I think it would be funny. Can you imagine the looks on their faces when we get there?"

"What if they don't see us?" Faith asked.

"Then what's the point?" Buffy replied.

"No, she's right. We can just sit back and watch them make complete fools of themselves. Knowing Xander, he's doing a mighty fine job," Cordy laughed.

"Or we could get up on stage and strip for them. They'd definitely pass out then," Anya suggested.

"I don't think they allow-"

"We're hot chicks," Faith interrupted Buffy. Getting a look from the others, she shrugged and continued, "Oh, come on, none have you have ever looked in the mirror and thought 'Damn, I'm fuckable'? I don't believe it. Especially you, C."

Cordelia tried her best to look offended before she rolled her eyes and looked away, conceding to Faith.

"The little one can go home with the lovebirds-"

"Hey!" Dawn was now officially annoyed.

"And those of us with a man over there, will go and see what they're up to," Faith went on, ignoring Dawn's outburst.

"We could do a little dance," Anya said, smiling.

"Hopefully, make a little love," Cordy added.

"And we're definitely getting down tonight. One way or the other," Faith finished. "What do you say, B?"

Buffy bit her lip as she thought it out. A smile formed slowly on her mouth and she nodded. "Can we stop by my apartment first? There's something I need to get."

------------------------------

"Man, you need to loosen up. Look at this girl. Perfect."

"Perfectly plastic," Spike retorted. "Xander, this isn't really my scene and no matter how many shots and beers you feed me, I'd still rather be with a barely dressed Buffy then watching these women flash their tatas at us."

"William, you're just not in the right frame of mind," Giles said, slapping Spike on the back. He moved his hand around, pointing to various girls, spilling some of his Scotch from his glass. "You're seeing this all wrong. Did I ever tell you about the time Anya brought me here?"

"No and I would appreciate you didn't do it now."

"I dare say that you have a rather large stick up your ass." Giles hiccupped and then proceeded to laugh like a schoolboy.

"If Anya could see you now..." Spike trailed off.

"If she could, I would probably be on my back-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Xander interrupted. To Spike, he whispered, "Apparently, when drunk, Giles inherits Anya's flair for tell-all sex stories."

"It's frightening," Spike agreed. Both men looked over at their mentor and gulped at the pure, unadulterated lust on his face as he watched the girl dance. "This whole experience is going to give me bloody nightmares. Thank you all so much."

"Anytime, my friend," Wesley said, with a wide smile. "What do you think the women are doing?"

"Talking about us and what we're doing," Spike answered.

"Not my Anya. She's giving away her precious money to oiled-up men. I think I should be upset about that." He thought for a moment and shrugged it off, waving a bill for the stripper.

"I will say, that although there are many lovely women here, none have shown me anything that Faith can't do," Wesley mused.

"Does anyone not find it strange that we'd all rather be watching our own ladies do this instead of these bought and paid for types?" Spike asked, not expecting anyone to answer.

"Again, I say, boobs that we don't see everyday. Variety is the spice of life," Xander answered.

"Well, if your woman knew what she was doing then you would have variety," Gunn threw in.

"Cordy's about as perfect as they come. We're guys! We're supposed to be doing this! We're young, in the prime of life and we can't come to a strip club without wishing we were with our girlfriends? And I have to say that I find it very sad that the only one enjoying himself is the man who is twenty years older than us. This is your last hurrah, Spike! So get in the mood, already or see if I ever throw you another bachelor party."

Spike gave him an odd look at that and Xander smiled sheepishly, realizing what he said and how he didn't mean it in that manner.

"Excuse me, is there a Mr. Harris here?"

Xander turned to see a buxom redhead standing behind him. "Uh, yeah. That'd be me. Mr. Harris."

"You have a phone call. Come with me, please."

Xander followed the girl to the phone and as he went to pick it up, he felt someone grab onto his shoulder and pull him back. He stumbled and fell against the wall, his eyes going wide as he saw Cordelia, Faith and Anya staring back at him, obviously trying not to laugh.

"Uh, what's going on?" Xander asked, confused. The three women he's had sex with were standing in front of him, looking like they were about ready to pounce at any wrong movement. And, unfortunately, he didn't think they'd pouncing in a good way. "Is everything alright?"

"We need you to do us a favor," Cordy told him.

"A favor you can't say no to," Anya said.

"And, really, not a favor at all. We're telling you. Do this," Faith put in.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Say goodbye to anymore cheesecake," Cordy threatened.

"Fine, what is it you want me to do?"

The three women looked at one another and smiled, all their feminine charm coming to the surface and Xander was powerless against them. He knew it and they knew it...could probably smell it on him. He gulped and slumped further down the wall. Why did he have the feeling that this was going to put a damper on the evening?

------------------------------

"Spike, buddy, come with me."

"Where?"

"Get your ass out of the chair and come with me. We got you a little something special," Xander told him as he grabbed Spike's arm and lifted him.

"We did?" Giles asked, his speech completely slurred.

Xander shot him a warning glance before turning back to Spike. "We're going to a backroom."

"Oh, no, we're not," Spike said and instantly began to struggle in Xander's grasp. Xander nodded to Gunn and Wesley, who immediately stood and grabbed onto Spike and helped carry him to the back. "Buffy will kill me. No, wait she'll kill you, make me watch and then kill me. She'll remove parts. I like my parts!"

"Spike, you're getting married next Saturday. Consider this your last bit of sex before you're tied forever," Xander said.

"Sex?! No."

"Not in the literal sense. Buddy, calm down and stop kicking."

They brought him to a dimly lit room with nothing but a pole and chair in it. The chair had scarves lying across it and Xander picked them up before they forced Spike down. He handed one to both Wes and Gunn and they quickly tied his legs while Xander tied his hands. He took the last scarf and tied it around his eyes. Spike kept perfectly still, biding his time until they left before he tried to make a break for it.

"Have fun," Xander called out as they left.

Not two seconds after the door closed, Spike began to struggle in his bonds._ Damn Boy scouts tied them too tight. It's cutting off my circulation_. He felt a hand come down on his shoulder and he stopped moving.

"Look, I'm sure you're a lovely girl but I made a promise and I don't fancy breaking my promises so if you don't mind untying me, I'll just be on my way." He felt her move around him to the front and place a finger at his lips, telling him in no words to be quiet. The soft strains of a song Spike thought he knew started and before anything else could cross his mind, he felt the weight of her body straddling his legs.

She leaned forward and licked his neck, which caused Spike to jump and begin to protest again but her hand came up to cover his mouth.

"Shh."

She leaned back, her lower legs wrapping around his for leverage as she began to unbutton his shirt. She raked her nails down his chest and quickly leaned forward to kiss and lick the redness.

That's when he knew. It was Buffy.

The light fragrance of her perfume filtered up to his nose when she leaned forward and he would know that mouth on his skin anywhere.

He groaned as she licked over his nipple and she immediately stopped.

"No, baby, don't stop."

Buffy looked at him and knew the gig was up. He had that self-satisfied grin he got when he knew something no one else did. How did he figure it out so quickly?

"Shall I untie you?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Will you keep your hands to yourself?"

"Not bloody likely."

"You want me to dance for you?"

"Yes."

"So will you keep your hands to yourself?"

He nodded before saying aloud, "Yes."

She got off his lap and kneeled on the floor and untied both his legs. He stretched them out and she massaged the calves of both legs before getting up and moving around the back of the chair. She undid the scarves and quickly stood out of his grasp.

"Get over here," he ordered.

She smiled and quietly walked behind him, untying the scarf around his eyes. "You ruin all my fun, I'll have you know. We had a whole plan and everything. Lots of coercing and cash to get this room."

She walked around him to stand in front of him, her hands on her hips and her mouth in a delicious pout that Spike planned on kissing right off.

"What do you have on under there?" Spike nodded to her clothes and she blushed. "Come on, then. Show me."

She walked over to the wall where the stereo was, pressed a button and a new song started. Slow, jazzy and she sauntered over to the pole.

"What is this? Sounds familiar."

"It should. That Fiona Apple 'chit'. I wanted to prove to you that it's not all doom and gloom. It can be very much not."

"Nervous, pet?"

"No," she answered too quickly.

"Why would you be nervous? It's just me and it's not like I've never seen you dance before."

"Dance, yes. Strip sexily? Not so much."

"Everything you do is sexy." He got up from the chair and stalked over to her, holding her gaze the entire time. "Dance with me, luv."

He placed his hands loosely on her waist, stepping closer to her and began to sway back and forth. She matched him, her hands on his arms and her head bowed, knowing he was staring at her. She wasn't exactly embarrassed, but she was overcome with a sudden case of shyness. This would have been much easier with him blindfolded. Sure, that would have defeated the purpose but logic wasn't always linear in her brain.

"Slow like honey, lamb, just like the song says," he murmured in her ear. "Look at me."

She raised her eyes but kept her head bowed. One of his hands came to her face and the backs of his fingers brushed against her cheek. When he cupped her jaw, she turned her head and placed a kiss on the palm.

"Dance for me. This is, as Xander keeps telling me, my last hurrah."

"I don't think I should have come here. I interrupted your hurrah."

"Buffy, don't make me tell you how I sat out there and bitched all night. These girls...not a one comes close."

She smiled briefly and took a deep breath. She pushed him back towards the chair and when the back of his legs hit it, he sat.

"You can just shag me silly if you really don't want to dance," he suggested, his tongue sliding between his top and bottom teeth.

Buffy laughed and felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. This was no big deal. This could be easy. She just needed for it to be kept light and fun. She was putting too much pressure on herself and that was silly. If she didn't enjoy it, he wouldn't and she wanted him to. It was the whole purpose of being here. She didn't know what the others were planning to do but she had this idea since before they left their own strip club. She could do this. And with the way he was looking at her, watching and waiting for her, she felt herself ignite from within.

"Pet?"

"Yes?" she replied, walking over to the pole. She wrapped her arm around it and leaned against it.

"Is that **the** skirt from Halloween?" She smiled and nodded. "Turn around, back to me and put both hands on the pole."

Buffy gave him a look of confusion before doing as he asked. She turned her head slightly and said, "Anything else?"

"Spread your legs a bit." She did. "Bend."

She twisted around more and smiled. "Bend?"

"Knees straight and bend. All those yoga classes are finally paying off."

"Me bending and showing you my scantily clad ass is payment?"

"Damn straight it is." He smirked and she smiled again. "Bend. I won't tell you again."

_Hmm...he's acting...different. _She took a step back, turned to face the pole and slowly leaned over at the waist.

"Fucking hell, you're perfect," he said. It was taking all his might not to go over to her. Red silk and lace peeked out from under the skirt. "Like the panties. Matching set?"

"It's something," she answered, standing again. Keeping her hold on the pole, she twisted her body to face him. She picked up one foot to take off her shoe but stopped when Spike began to protest.

"Leave those on."

She shrugged and wrapped her leg around the pole. She put her hands in a better position and then swung her body around the pole.

"Been swinging on poles for a while now?"

"One of the stripper's showed me how. Very nice of her, don't you think?"

"Indeed."

Her fingers went to the buttons of her shirt and she slowly undid them. She had his rapt attention and loved every minute of it. Buffy flashed open her top and giggled when he sighed after she quickly closed it again. He crooked a finger at her and she walked over to him, her hips swinging from side to side, every step deliberate.

He grabbed her hands and put them at her sides. He reached up and ran his hands under the barely opened shirt, loving the combined feel of the silk and lace. He grabbed the sides of the shirt and opened it, taking a good, hard look while Buffy squirmed where she stood.

"What's this, then?"

"I figured I needed something special to compete..."

"No competition, sweetheart. Is this what I think it is?"

"If what you think is it's Anya's present, than yes, it's exactly what you think it is."

"The crotchless lingerie you said you would never, ever wear under any circumstances?"

"Don't smirk. Special occasion."

He put his hands on her waist and twisted her. "Turn." She did and once again felt her whole body go warm when he lifted her skirt. With a free hand, he moved over the curve of her buttocks and down the back of her thigh. "Nothing like Buffy bum."

She giggled again which turned into a yelp as he lightly smacked the bit of cheek that was showing.

"Did you just _spank_ me?" Buffy asked, shocked.

"You loved it."

"Not the point. Why would you...ow! Stop doing that!"

He leaned over and kissed the small pink patch that was on her skin. His hand moved to her inner thigh and he ran his fingers up and down so lightly that it tickled and her leg started to shake.

"Sorry, baby, but I couldn't help myself." His hand moved back up and rubbed the area in slow circles.

"It's...okay. You surprised me." She leaned into his caress. "Surprises aren't...bad."

"No?"

She shook her head and stepped away from him. She shimmied and laughed when he licked his lips. She pulled the shirt off and whipped around her head, causing him to chuckle softly. She threw the shirt at his head and he quickly pulled it off and threw it to the side. Buffy walked back to the pole and spun around it again. She turned around, lifted her skirt. She swayed her hips back and forth slowly, occasionally circling her hips. She turned again and took satisfaction from the look on Spike's face. She leaned against the pole and slid her body down. She quickly opened and shut her legs before slithering back up the pole, lifting her skirt as she went. She arched her back off the pole, her eyes trained on the ceiling, letting her body just move to the jazzy, slow beat coming softly from the speakers. Spike's breathing became heavier and it was like a different song spurring her on. Her fingers went to the zipper in the back, undid it and let the skirt drop the floor. She lifted one foot out from under the material and kicked it over to Spike with the other.

Spike cleared his throat, finding his voice. "You're not taking that off, are you?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No."

"Then I have nothing left to strip off."

He got up from his chair and went over to her. "Dance with me now, then?"

"I do love to dance with you."

"It _is_ all we've ever done, right?" he stated with a wink. She smiled as she remembered the night of her prom all those years before.

Buffy's hands went to the lapels of his duster and tugged them back. "Aren't you hot in this thing?"

"As a matter fact..." He shrugged out of his coat and tossed it to the floor with her other clothes. His hands went to her hips and moved around her back to rest once again on the roundness of her bottom. Their bodies began to sway together and they moved slowly around.

"You have a butt fascination tonight," she joked.

"It's the lace. The way it cuts up and lets a little skin show, lets me see just how lovely it really is." He squeezed both her cheeks and ground his erection against her. "You want me?"

She nodded. "Even when we're old and gray."

"Are you ever going to stop amazing me, luv?"

"I hope not but I give you full permission to remind me if I'm not doing the proper job."

"Remind or reprimand?" He quirked an eyebrow, a slow smile coming to his lips.

"Since when do we do that?"

"We don't but sometimes...nevermind."

"Sometimes what?" she asked, suddenly very curious.

"Sometimes when we're..." he trailed off and she smiled at his shyness. She hadn't seen this side of him in quite some time.

"Go on," she whispered.

"Sometimes, I have an urge."

"Don't you usually give in to all your urges?"

"Most, yeah, but this is a little different than most."

"Why haven't you mentioned it before?"

"Didn't know how-"

"You didn't know how?" she interrupted. "There is nothing that we don't talk about, sex or otherwise. You had no problem asking if you could tie me up." He smirked. "You had no problem asking if I would consider the only other kind of sex we haven't had." He ducked his head to hide his smile as he remembered _that_ night. "I can't believe you would have a problem asking me if you could slap my rear."

"And you'd say yes?"

She put her hand to his face and smiled softly. "Baby, has there ever been anything I've said no to yet?"

He stopped moving and she stilled, as well. He pulled her tight against him and swooped down, capturing her lips. Her hands wormed their between their bodies and to the button of his pants. She quickly undid it and pulled the zipper down. Her hand encircled him and began its pumping motion.

He broke away from her mouth and rested his forehead against hers. "Wanna see if this lingerie works as well as Anya proclaims?"

"You bet I do," she said, emphasizing her agreement by biting his neck lightly.

Just the way he liked.

**************

tbc...


	34. 34

**Chapter 34**

Spike reached across the bed and found an empty space where Buffy should have been. He lifted his head off his pillow, opened one eye and confirmed what he had felt.

"Buffy?" he called out uselessly as his voice was low and scratchy from sleep. He looked at the clock and sighed. It was only 7:30 in the morning. It was her day off, so why wasn't she in bed? With him, where she should have been.

His answer came in the form of the phone slamming down on the table which was followed quickly by "damn it". He chuckled when he could hear the tell-tale signs of her whine as she came down the hall to the bedroom. When she appeared in the doorway with the phone, no, parts of the phone in both hands, Spike couldn't stop his laughter.

"It's not funny! Fix it?" she asked, sweetly, as she made her way over to the bed. "Please?" She fluttered her eyelashes and pouted a little before turning it into a sly smile as he reached for the phone.

"Did you break the table, too?" he joked.

"Not my fault the phone is cheap."

"So who pissed you off this early in the morning?"

She shrugged. "No one."

"Right...who was the person on the phone that didn't piss you off?"

"Mom. They cut down the wrong tree."

"Pardon?"

"She wanted the branches trimmed on one tree and what she got was them cutting down the tree that she planted when we first moved into the house."

"Your mum planted a tree?"

"Well, it's not a big one. It's that small one with the purplish leaves? Anyway, she planted it as a sign for new beginnings or growth or something. She was all about the Zen when we first moved. I think it's how she dealt with my rebellious teen ways."

"Ah," he commented, his attention fixed on putting the cordless back together.

"So, yeah, she's very upset and she did that veiled accusation thing where she didn't flat out blame me but inferred that if we weren't having the wedding there, she'd still have a tree."

"I'm sure she didn't mean-"

"And the thing is, this was all her idea!"

"It wasn't entirely-"

"She practically begged us to have it at the house. She insisted on hiring contractors-"

"Buffy," Spike interrupted forcefully. When he had her attention, he continued. "You wanted the wedding at the house just as much as she did. Remember not calling the park?"

"Yeah, but-"

"And when your mother wanted to fix up the yard, you were the one who thought it was a great idea and **I** was the one who didn't want her to spend that kind of money." He smiled when the final piece of the phone clicked into its place. "Try not to kill it again."

"Look, logic man, I know what happened but this tree business was just one more thing in an increasingly growing list of mishaps."

"It hasn't been that bad."

"And you would know how? You're not exactly on the up and up with the hell the last two weeks have been."

"Maybe that's true-"

"_Maybe_?" Buffy asked, incredulous.

"Fine, I don't know everything but it's all over tomorrow, right?" He snaked his hand up her thigh until it found its place along her waist.

"Oh, good, at least you know that much."

"Are you looking to fight with someone?"

"I'm stressed. I'm all pent-up and you're here so you're the lucky catcher of my wrath. Deal."

"So, tell me. What else happened?"

"You don't care."

"Of course I do."

"Uh-huh. That was made glaringly obvious when I tried to tell you about what's happened when it **actually** happened. You gave me all of a minute of your attention before switching into your distant nodding mode. You know, like you did when I was telling you about the tree." She raised her brow and looked at him pointedly.

"I was fixing the phone," he tried lamely before nodding his head shortly, giving in. "Well, pet, you have my undivided attention now, so tell me."

"Okay, but at the first sign of nonchalance, I'm out of here. Tara's dress is too tight now. She feels horrible and because she feels so badly, I can't even be mad. Not that I would be because she's pregnant so it's understandable. It's just a tiny bit annoying. They altered my dress all wrong and they had to...you know what? Nevermind."

"I'm listening."

"I know but I shouldn't tell you anything about the dress."

"I thought I couldn't see it. I can still hear about it."

"But if I describe what they did, you'll get an idea of what it looks like and I'd rather you didn't."

He wanted to tell her that it was just a dress but went with, "Fair enough. What else?"

"Andrew has been a colossal pain in my ass. As much as I appreciate what he's done for us, I find myself wishing we just did it at the hall or something because he's just being Andrew times fifty."

"I feel your pain."

"No, you **really** don't."

"Luv-"

"I'm not picking, promise. I'm just saying you can't know until you're in reception hell with him. You'll probably get a taste of it tomorrow. It's colors and linens and flowers and food and everything on God's green Earth. He's going to drive me to drink."

"Is that it? Doesn't seem-"

"The flowers?" she continued without even hearing him. "Flora's Flora is officially on Buffy's hit list. First of all, there's no actual Flora. They just thought it was a cute name."

"It has a bit of a flare to it."

She glared at him for an instant, her mouth opened to say something but decided against it. "Anyway, they promised me they could supply the roses and colors I wanted. It's not like I'm asking for a lot. A dozen for mine and a half for the girls, along with your boutonnieres and Mom's corsage. It's not like I was asking for those big done up bouquets. Just some baby's breath, a ribbon and roses. Not too much to ask, right?"

When he didn't answer, the glare returned. "Oh, right, pet. Absolutely."

"They called yesterday and told me they couldn't get the roses for my bouquet. Yesterday! And this is after I called them **last week** to make sure they had it set. They said they did. They lied. I hate them."

"Hate seems awfully strong-"

"So now Cordy and I have to go over to the flower expo in Brighton and get the roses because that's where I originally saw them. Then I have to bring them to the flower shop where they will put them together. The only good thing is that I refused to pay them for the boutonnieres and corsage."

"They're doing it for free?"

"They're still getting the money for the five bridesmaid's bouquets. They promised me a service and they tell me two days before the wedding that they can't do it? Unacceptable."

"That's not like you."

"It's being a bride. It's insane. I'm telling you, something happens with the chemicals in your brain. It's like I see red every single time something doesn't go my way and then I bitch until it does."

She sighed and curled up beside him on the bed. His arm went around her waist, pulling her tight against his body. His lips went to the side of her neck, kissing her lightly. "Remind me to never get married again."

"Will do," he said and she felt his lips curl into a smile against her skin.

"I'm serious, Spike. If say in fifty years, I get the grand idea of renewing our vows, remind me I said that. I don't think I even want to attend another wedding again."

"Tell me more about you cutting people to the quick. I like that. Not when it's directed at me, of course, but I like when my girl takes charge."

"So I feel," she said, giggling as she rubbed her backside against him.

"That's not playing fair."

"No, that's me taking charge."

----------------------------

This was the part of the job he hated. At least when he had been working out of L.A., he never had to answer the phone. Spike's hold on the handle tightened further as the woman on the other side continued to explain her situation although he had already told her it wasn't the kind of case that they take. He pressed the heel of his hand into his temple and closed his eyes, hoping and praying that she would just be quiet for two minutes.

"Ma'am, as I've already explained, we don't do-"

"You listen to me, young man, you're in the business of finding lost things-"

"Yeah, people," Spike interrupted. "Not dogs."

"You are a detective, are you not?"

"Again, I say...you know what?" Spike asked, deciding to change the course of the conversation. "I understand you're anxious to find your dog and although we would love to help, this office doesn't specialize in that kind of investigating. However, our L.A. branch could help you and I can guarantee you'll have your dog back pronto."

He glanced up to the main office area and caught Connor snickering at the copy machine.

"I'm going to give you to a colleague who will be more than happy to give you the information you need," Spike said, loudly and Connor's smile disappeared. "You're very welcome. You have a nice day and best of luck."

He pressed the hold button and slammed the phone onto its cradle. "Don't just stand there. Talk to the nut. Be a part of the team that Angel's always going on about."

Sighing, he grabbed his pack of cigarettes from the drawer, pulled one out and lit. Inhaling deeply, Spike leaned back in the chair and swiveled to face the window that overlooked Main Street. It was a warm afternoon, the sun was shining, he would swear on something holy that he could hear birds chirping and it was his last day without a wife.

With the exception of this morning, he felt like he hadn't seen her or spent quality time with Buffy since the bachelor party. He did feel a little guilty that not only was she working just as much as he was, she was taking care of all the last minute wedding things that he didn't know the first thing about. He wished he could care but he was eternally grateful that Buffy didn't need anything from him. It wasn't that he didn't want to participate in all the hoopla of the event; it simply wasn't his ideal thing to do. He knew she was well aware of that fact and she kept it as far away from him as he could be.

He heard a delicate cough come from the doorway and he turned his head to find his other half standing in the doorway, shaking her head.

"You are not supposed to be smoking in the building. Big, hefty fines if they catch you. It's a lovely day. You should have at least gone out onto the stairs. You can't get in trouble then."

"How many times do I have to tell you that-"

"Trouble is your middle name? Got it, bad ass. Now put the cigarette out because I'm not coming near you until you do."

He made a show of grumbling his displeasure over that but he really didn't care, either way. "What brings you here?"

Buffy walked over to the desk and placed a large brown bag on top of his desk. "Hungry?"

"Is it actual food?"

"What do you mean 'actual' food? Of course it's food. I got you a hamburger with all that junk on it."

"And for yourself?"

"Turkey sandwich. Why?"

"Just making sure you were eating is all."

"All I do is eat."

"Oh, I beg to differ, luv. You've been picking at everything for the last couple of weeks."

"Hello? I'm a bride. I'm supposed to do that." She started pulling the food out of the bag and before Spike could say anything else, she began to talk. "I can't wait to relax. After all the chaos lately, I just want to sleep for like a month."

"I second that."

"Oh, don't even go there. You have no clue-"

"Flowers, dresses, trees, Andrew. I heard about it this morning, remember?" He opened the container to his burger and looked around. "Did you get me-" He cut himself off when she placed a carton of onion rings in front of him.

"And they're not from the freezer. I asked," she told him. "Anyway, believe me when I say you haven't heard all the stories. You got a two second summary because that's the limit of your attention span when anything concerning this wedding is mentioned."

"Oi, that's not true!" She looked at him with a raised an eyebrow and he smiled shyly. "Alright, fine. You're not wrong."

"I'm always right. Remember that."

"Pfft."

"Did you just 'pfft' me?"

"What's that old saying? I may not always be right but I'm never wrong...that's you."

"That doesn't even make any...oh, I get it. Hey!"

"You started it."

"You pffted me!"

"You love it."

"Pfft," she retorted with a wink. "Dawn wanted to know if you asked Connor about tonight."

"Not yet."

"Spike..."

"I'm going to. It's been a busy day-"

"Don't get me started on busy," Buffy interrupted.

"She's already asked him. I don't see what the big deal is."

"The big deal is that Connor thinks he shouldn't come and Dawn wants her friend or whatever he is there. You need to help make that happen."

"Buffy, this isn't-"

"Look, mister, I have asked nothing of you when I easily could have. Will you please just reinforce the fact that we want him there tonight?"

"He's going tomorrow. Maybe he doesn't want to go tonight," Spike tried to reason.

"Men are so completely clueless," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "For the last time, Dawn really wants Connor to come to the rehearsal dinner. Please tell him that we would love for him to be there. Got it?"

He could hear the "don't say another word" tone in her voice and simply nodded.

"Good. We'll be at the house for about an hour tonight and then we'll eat around seven at Mario's."

"I know this," he muttered, his tone more harsh than he intended.

"Just reminding you," she said, quietly. Her eyes were fixed on her sandwich and he instantly felt like an ass.

He reached his hand across the desk and took one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap at you. You know I'm a right wanker at times."

She peered at him through her lashes, a small smile gracing her lips. "At times?"

"There's my girl. Now tell me-"

"Sorry to interrupt." Two sets of eyes looked over at him and he shifted on his feet. "Uh, I just wanted to see if it was alright if I went to lunch now."

"Connor, you can go wherever you want, whenever you want. You don't answer to me. Just let me know what's going on. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Connor frowned. "Sorry, I just-"

"Don't get all morose about it, kid. I didn't mean anything by it."

Buffy squeezed his hand and his gaze shot over to her. She widened her eyes and as delicately as she could, nodding her head in Connor's direction. Spike sighed and looked back at Connor.

"You're coming to the party tonight, yeah?" He could see Buffy's pursed lips from the corner of his eye and internally shrugged. There wasn't anything he could do about it now.

"Actually, I might help that lady from earlier and-"

"Everyone is going to be there," Buffy jumped in. "That includes everyone from L.A., as well, so there will be no detecting going on in either office. Please come, Connor. We both need everyone we know there so neither of us lose it and run away."

"And since the men are so poorly outnumbered..." Spike added.

Connor's mouth curled into an almost smile before he nodded and said, "Can't let that happen, I guess."

"Good, it's settled. Be at my Mom's house no later than six," Buffy said, cheerfully. Connor nodded again and left the office. "'You're coming to the party tonight, yeah?' That's how you ask someone to our rehearsal dinner?"

"First of all, I love you, but if you ever mock me again with that horrible accent of yours, I'll divorce you. Secondly, I was approaching it as if I were just confirming that he was coming. Thought it would be a good way for him to not object."

"Well, when you put it that way..." she mumbled with a shrug.

"So what's on the agenda today?"

"Flowers, last minute fitting for me, maybe with Tara if she can get away from the gallery for a bit and oh! I have something for you."

"What are you going to do when this is all over?" he mused aloud.

"Here." She held a long, narrow box out to him. "And this." She grabbed a brown shopping bag at her side and put it on his desk. "Be careful. Don't get greasy hamburger junk all over them."

He wiped his hands on the napkin she handed him, rolling his eyes in the process. He opened the box and stared. "A tie?"

"For the wedding."

"A tie."

"Did you think you wouldn't be wearing one?"

"I bought my own."

"I know but that one doesn't match my dress perfectly. This one does because it's actually from my dress and you couldn't be any less enthused, could you?"

"It's a tie, pet. Not exactly ra-ra material."

"Well, you're not going to be excited about what's in the bag, either. Clothes for tonight."

"I have clothes for tonight."

"You're not wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt."

"What am I wearing, then?"

"Not a tie," she said, smiling, hoping that it would lessen the rising tension she could feel around her. "It's just a pair of pants and a shirt. No big."

He tipped the bag and looked inside. "I see blue."

"It's cornflower blue. It's very grr manly."

"It's light blue."

"No, cornflower," she told him, slowly. "It, uh, well, it matches what I'm wearing. And it's really not that light. It's a perfectly perfect shade of blue, really, as far as blue goes."

"Perfectly perfect?" he asked, smiling.

"We'll look very pretty."

"Don't want to look pretty, luv."

"Baby, you are pretty. You know it. Stop acting all macho-y and just go with it. Long lashes, blue eyes, chiseled...everything. You're a very pretty man."

"You're killing me, Buffy."

"Learn to take a compliment, William." She shoved the last of her sandwich in her mouth and mumbled, "I'm off like a prom dress."

"Not yours," he muttered.

"Aw, funny, honey." She walked over to his side of the desk and bent to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you tonight?"

"I'm not sure I'll be-"

"Don't start with the joking. Not the time."

"See you tonight," he told her with a wink. "Probably."

She shook her head and walked to the door. "You couldn't just leave it alone, could you?"

"Never."

"Oh, by the way," Buffy said, stopping in the doorway. "You're staying at Xander's tonight because we can't spend the night together. See you at six! Love you!"

He laughed quickly and his eyes went wide. Before he had a chance to retort, she was out the door.

"She's taking these traditions far too seriously." 

--------------------------

"Can you suck it in?"

"There's a baby inside me. I can't just suck it in," Tara snapped. She blushed instantly and bowed her head. "Okay, the baby is only the size of a half-dollar and I'm sorry...hormones...wonky...me."

"Well, if we had more time, perhaps there would be something we could do-"

"Mrs. Hubbard, the thing is we don't have more time. She needs to be able to wear this dress for at least two hours tomorrow without losing consciousness."

"Two hours?" Tara asked, confused.

"Well, I figured you could always change if you were really uncomfortable. I don't care about that," Buffy told her with a wave of her hand. "So what can we do?"

"Well, the problem lies with the top of the dress. With the draping, there isn't much to do. There is very little material to work with as I've let it out as much as I can. Maybe I could add more material to the sides and along the bosom. Cinch it under..."

"The bosom?" Tara squeaked. "Would rather not emphasize them."

"Like empire-style?" Buffy asked, ignoring Tara.

"It will make the dress look very different from the others but with the added materials to the side and bodice, we can open it up as much as we want so she's comfortable and the additional material can cover any bulges."

"Bulges? I don't have bulges. I'm full-figured."

"And gorgeous," Buffy added, smiling to reassure her friend.

Tara's eyes narrowed before a crooked smile broke from her lips. "Thank goodness you're getting married now. We'd be in big trouble if it were later in the summer. Hell, we'd be in trouble if it was next month."

"You don't look any different."

"I'm not, really. Bloated, though. Lots and lots of retention. I've only gained a pound or two. But apparently it's enough to make the dress just a bit uncomfortable."

"Don't worry. They'll fix it so you're not."

"I'm sorry about this."

Buffy shook her head, laughing it off. "Don't even do that, Tara. What's happening for you and Will is so important. Way more than a stupid bridesmaid dress."

"Good," Tara sighed. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hand coming to cover her stomach. "Everything's changing for all of us."

"Well, we're 'adults' now so on to doing those sorts of things."

Tara took a deep breath and her eyes went wide as the top of the dress grew even tighter around her breasts. "How did this dress fit me on top in the first place?"

"We did pick them out four months ago. Cordy's was a little tight there, too, at her last fitting. Everyone's happy and with happiness comes lots of food for some reason."

"Can we not draw more attention to them?" Tara asked, shyly.

"Sure, hon, whatever you want."

----------------------------

"I can't believe I'm going to be late for my own rehearsal dinner. You do know I'm never going to hear the end of this from him, don't you?"

"Calm down. Take a deep breath. And if I have to put your head in a vice to keep it from moving, I will so stop shaking it," Cordelia warned her.

"Hurry, hurry. We have to be there in ten minutes."

"I tried to tell you..."

"Don't start. The dresses took longer than I thought they would."

"I volunteered my precious time to run over there and get the flowers but you just had to come."

"I didn't think that would take that long, either," Buffy mumbled.

"No, you didn't think I would get the right flowers." Buffy turned to look at her friend but stopped when Cordy tugged her hair a little too hard. "Don't move."

"It wasn't that at all, Cordy, believe me."

"But if you had just let me, you wouldn't be running late now."

"Would've, could've, should've," she retorted. "Plus I had to find that tree for my mom."

"And you couldn't buy the tree on another day?"

"It's the principle behind it. I stopped by today to see how everything was going and she was just standing in the yard, sadly looking at the place her tree used to be. I had to do it."

"I really don't think she needed it today, though. It took an extra half an hour to find the damn thing."

"Can I just say a big whatever and move on. Are you almost done?"

"Sure, if you were going for that 'sparrows just set up shop on my head' look."

"Why sparrows?" Buffy wondered aloud.

Cordy laughed and shrugged. "Popped in my head. Hand me that clip." Buffy did as told. "Okay...two bobby pins...and presto."

Buffy grabbed the handheld mirror and turned around, holding to the side to see the back of her head. She nodded, moving the mirror from side to side, trying to see all the angles.

"It's okay?"

"Um..."

"Oh, just spit it out, Buffy."

"It's just he likes my hair down. Maybe I should leave it down..."

"Are you wearing it up tomorrow?" Cordy asked.

"Yeah...loose, wavy bun thing."

Cordelia gave her a look, but Buffy wasn't sure if it was annoyance that she had to do her hair over or if it was about how she was wearing her hair tomorrow.

"Sit."

"We don't have time-"

"Sit," she ordered again. Buffy did as was told and one minute later, with a flip of Cordy's wrist, the clip was undone and her hair was falling loosely past her shoulders.

"Pretty," Cordy said. "Now up and get dressed."

"How much time?"

"Five minutes."

"I am so never hearing the end of this!" Buffy yelled as she ran to the bedroom.

------------------------

"The girl does have a tendency to be tardy, Joyce."

"But not this. Of all the things..."

"She'll be here soon enough, no doubt. Just think, we can hold this over her head for the rest of her life. Good times," Spike said, with a smile, which seemed to calm Joyce somewhat. "Why don't you go chat up the JP while I try her again, alright?"

Joyce nodded to Spike's relief and he headed for the house. Buffy was fifteen minutes late and counting. The same girl who had told him on numerous occasions over the last week that if he were late, he would lose bits, was now late. However, as confident as he acted towards Joyce that everything was a-okay, he couldn't stop the creeping paranoia that set into his bones. Sure, she wasn't punctual but he knew there was no way in hell she would be late for this unless...

No, she was fine. He would just call her again. Not that it had worked when he tried just three minutes before but he couldn't not try the line again. Her cell phone rang and rang, her cheery voice came on to tell him to leave a message, which he didn't. Cordelia's phone gave him the same result. Maybe something happened on their way to get flowers. Or on their way home. Maybe they were trapped somewhere, unconscious and bleeding to death and he had no way to know. Maybe he should get in his car and take a drive to Brighton to see if there looked like there had been an accident on the road. Maybe-

"Be careful, Buffy!"

Maybe she was walking backwards through the front door, trying to carry a tree in.

"What in the bloody hell are you two doing?"

"Oh, hi, honey. A little help, please?"

"Yes, please. I'm getting dirty and sweaty."

"I'll get it," he said, grabbing hold of the bottom and pulling it from their hands.

"Watch out for the branches!"

He turned around, pinning her with narrowed eyes and she had the good grace to look away, sheepishly.

"Is this why you were late? You had to buy a fucking tree?"

"No! Well, not exactly. Just put it down. I'll give it to Mom afterwards."

He dropped the tree where he stood and it landed with a loud thud. He heard Buffy's sharp intake of breath and was pleasantly surprised when she didn't say anything to him. He put his hands on his hips and stared at her, his mouth pinched together, his cheeks sucked in and Buffy knew that he was none too pleased with her at the moment.

"I'll just...yeah..." Cordy said and quickly left the room.

"Hi," Buffy said softly, a crooked smile on her lips.

"Don't 'hi' me, Summers. Six o'clock sharp. It's 6:20. Dinner's at seven, the JP has something else to do, Joyce has gone around the bend, people are getting antsy-"

"I know. I'm sorry, really." She took a step toward him and then another until she was only a breath away from his body. "We tried to hurry but...it doesn't matter. We should get this show on the road before there's a riot."

"That's it?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. "You look amazing."

"Ah, there we go, then. Let's do this."

"Ahem."

"What? You don't get compliments until you've earned them," he said, with a smirk. He took a step away from her and wrapped his hand around hers. "C'mon, now. I'm starting to feel peckish."

---------------------------------------

Buffy's hand tightened around Spike's as her other hand held her side in laughter. She looked at her fiancé with joyful tears in her eyes and he returned the look, giving her a wink in the process.

"Xander, stop! Please," she gasped out, trying to control her giggles.

"No, continue. I never did get to hear this whole story," Spike said. Buffy gently smacked him in the arm, trying to give him her best scowl but failing miserably.

"So, we're standing up there and I'm sweating and Willow looks like the top of her head is going to explode and Buffy's just reading the lines lifelessly. All I could see was Snyder glowering at us for ruining his first talent show."

"And Giles rubbing his head and cleaning his glasses, per usual," Willow put in. "I was never so terrified in my life."

"'O, Oedipus, Oedipus, unhappy Oedipus," Xander droned. "Sound familiar?"

"Shut up, star of the stage. You were stammering through your lines. 'Madness...and m-madness and uh, stabbing pain and uh...' You have no right to tease me," Buffy joked.

"I'm sorry but I rocked that talent show," Cordelia informed them.

Willow and Buffy shared a look and snickered. At the same time, they opened their mouths and sang, "The greatest love of all is happening to meeeeee!"

"Oh, for the love of my eardrums, please stop. It was mind numbingly awful the first time around," Giles said.

"Excuse me?" Cordelia asked, flabbergasted.

"Cor, a singer you are not," Lorne said. "Speaking of which, this place should install-"

"No!" came a collective reply to his unfinished sentence.

"Lorne, I think you need to let go of the dream that you can rule the world with karaoke," Angel said.

"Almost every one of you didn't think you would like it until Queen C and I put on a hell of a Halloween bash."

"Great party, not so much with the singing," Xander replied.

"Well, at least it got Buffy and Spike in the sack," Anya chimed in.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Spike muttered.

"Dear," Giles warned at the same time.

"What? It's true. They didn't leave that hotel room all weekend."

"And we were so hoping you would share that with everyone that wasn't there," Buffy told her.

"It's not as if people aren't aware that-"

"Really, Anya, no further explanations are needed," Joyce interrupted.

"How about the bet?" Willow asked.

"You four would have been dead if I had known about that," Buffy said, laughter in her voice.

"I had nothing to do with it," Oz interjected. "Seemed like a bad idea from the start."

"Thank you."

"No problem. I'm quite comfortable in my role as Switzerland."

"Whatever did happen with that?" Cordy wondered.

"I would have won but the bet was already over," Willow grumbled. "You know as the best friend, I should have been told about prom night."

"Which was ten years ago so we can let it go now?" Buffy asked, sweetly.

"The best part about prom was Spike pretending to be Xander's boyfriend," Cordelia said.

"Oh, yeah, that was fantastic," Xander commented sarcastically.

"You know you want me," Spike leered.

"You're too small for me. I like 'em bulky."

Spike's eyes went wide and he nodded his head in approval of Xander's retort. He was glad his friend no longer went off the deep end over a joke at his expense.

"The look on Xan's face was priceless. I've never seen you so flustered," Willow added.

"I have to disagree. Will pushing Harmony into the pool was priceless," Oz said.

"Man, I forgot all about that!" Cordelia exclaimed. "God, remember when Spike dated Harmony?"

"Yes, and we want to remember that, as well, the night before we get married," Spike told her, his tone telling her he was not at all thrilled.

"Does anyone else want to bring up anything awkward?" Buffy inquired.

"Remember when Mom and Giles were hanging out after you ran away?" Dawn asked.

"And there we have it!" Buffy shot Dawn a dirty look who, in turn, smiled gleefully.

"You and Joyce spent time together?" Anya asked. "I wasn't aware of that."

"Well, it wasn't...I had just moved here and with Buffy...it was-"

"Nothing," Joyce told her, interrupted Giles's stuttering. "He was concerned for Buffy's welfare and helped me try to find her."

"So no sex?"

"Okay! Who wants desert?" Buffy asked, loudly. "Everyone, great! Let's get the waiter."

"I am going to kill you later," Joyce whispered to Dawn.

--------------------------------------

The dance floor wasn't big at all. Just a square of wood but none of the couples seemed to mind. Buffy looked at her friends and couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips. Cordelia and Xander whispered to one another, looking far more intense than she could ever remember seeing them; Tara and Willow resting their heads on each others shoulder and mindlessly turning in circles; Oz and Beth; Angel and Darla; Giles and Anya; Dawn and Connor. She wished her Mom had someone to dance with and she made it a point to ask Spike to dance with her later on.

For now, however, she was quite happy to dance with her own honey.

"Penny for your thoughts, luv?"

"Give me a penny first and then I'll tell you."

"Catch me later on that?"

"Sure, but just this once." She leaned back to look him in the eyes. "I'm just happy. Happy that everyone is happy. Happy that we're happy. Happy that we're finally getting married and no comments about that being my fault. I know. And I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For taking so long when I knew all along-"

He put a finger to her lips and stopped her words. "You don't need to do that. I don't need to hear it. I know, Buffy."

"Do you?" she mumbled against his finger.

"I'm not going to say it wasn't frustrating because there were times when I wanted to throttle you a good one but you had your reasons-"

"Not entirely good ones."

"And they don't matter now. We keep putting all this pressure on tomorrow but I realized something today after you left the office."

"Yeah? What was that?"

"That all that's changing is your name. We're still the same, our lives are still the same, the people in them, what we do. I think people put too much onto marriage as a word and not on how they live it. But you and me, pet? We've been married all this time. Just tomorrow's when it'll be legal."

"Can I borrow your ability to express yourself? Because I suck at it and you can just put it down for me, plain as day."

He shrugged. "One of my many, many charms."

"I guess I just want you to know that I know how lucky I am. How incredibly fortunate I feel. I think that I sometimes don't show you that in the way that I should. I want this so much, Spike." A single tear rolled down her cheek and Spike caught it with his thumb.

"Pet, don't upset yourself."

"I'm not but I don't know how to _tell_ you and-"

"And I don't need you to, okay?"

She nodded but frowned and Spike just let it go.

"So I really have to sleep at Xander's tonight?"

"Oh, change of plans. It makes more sense for me to stay at Mom's and you can have the apartment."

"Bugger."

"Why?"

"Had some thoughts about our last night as 'single' people, is all."

"The word naughty is flashing through my mind right now."

"You know me too well, kitten," he smirked.

---------------------------------------

"Bit, come here for a tick."

Dawn walked into the living room and sat next to him on the couch. "What's up?"

"Buffy in the kitchen?"

She nodded. "The girls' are gabbing about tonight and tomorrow. Why?"

"Do me a favor?"

"Of course."

He pulled a small wrapped box out of the inside pocket of his duster. "Will you give this to her? Either tonight after I leave or tomorrow before the wedding."

"What is it?" Dawn asked, excited.

"Something she really wanted and will probably kill me for getting for her so I'd rather not be here for that."

"Uh-huh, like she's going to be _really_ angry that you got her a present," she said, sarcastically.

"I know she won't be but there'll be that split second of RedBuffy and I'd rather not-"

"Spike?" he heard Buffy call from the other room. "Can you come here, please?"

"You're in trouble now," Dawn teased.

"Huh?" Spike asked, dumbly, his eyes going wide in fear.

Dawn laughed and shook her head. "You two are too funny, you know?"

"Spike, did you hear me?" Buffy asked, coming into the room.

"Yeah, was just finishing up my talk with the Bit first."

"I'll come back."

"No, we're done," Dawn told her. She leaned over and gave Spike a hug. "See you tomorrow, brother."

Buffy took Dawn's vacated spot and swung her legs up to cover Spike's thighs. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Tired, yet?"

"After listening to Andrew all night, I'm starting to understand and beginning to feel deeply guilty about not helping out more."

"So, I have something for you."

"Not another tie, I hope," Spike joked.

"No, not another tie, dumbass. Our trip...the honeymoon."

"Ah, some faraway locale where I'll burn up in the scorching sun. Can't wait, lamb."

"Actually, not so much with the scorching sun." She handed him the envelope. "They're sort of non-refundable so your ass better want to go or I'm going to kill you."

"You know I love it when you threaten me," he commented, puckering his lips and raising a brow.

Buffy shook her head and laughed. "Open it!"

Spike ripped open the envelope and pulled out the tickets. He saw the destination and smiled.

"England?"

She shrugged. "Thought you might like to go back and you know, show me around since I've never-"

Spike's lips crushed Buffy's and cut off her sentence. His urgency threw her for a loop for a moment before she eagerly returned the kiss, matching his fervor. He blindly placed the tickets on the table and instantly put his hands in her hair, tugging her in the directions he wanted her to go. Buffy broke away to catch her breath and one he allowed her before he attacked her again. He pushed her back onto the couch, his lips moving to her neck and his growing excitement rubbing against her backside.

"Spike," she gasped out. "Spike, you have to stop. Mom's in the other...oh my god."

His fingers moved under the skirt of her dress and slowly moved their way up.

"Oops! Sorry!"

Buffy's head snapped to her left to see Cordy's quickly retreating form. "Spike, stop! Really, hon, you need to oh! Not do that. They're probably already gossiping about it."

"Let them."

"We'll go back to the apartment. I suddenly remembered that I forgot my uh...robe! I forgot my robe and must go get it now!" She squirmed away from his roaming fingers before the moved back down her body where she knew they would be heading any second. She rolled off the couch and landed hard on the floor.

"Ouch."

"You okay?"

"Sure, but you're going to rub it and kiss it until it feels better," she told him with a flirty smirk of her own.

-----------------------------------

"Buffy, you up?" Dawn asked as she knocked on the door.

"Come on in."

Dawn opened the door and walked into her sister's old room. "Feel funny being here?"

"Oh, yeah but it's necessary."

"Didn't stop you earlier."

"Hush," Buffy said with a laugh.

"Wow, they did an excellent job fixing it," Dawn commented as she regarded Buffy's wedding dress.

"I'm so over the halter now. I'm glad they messed it up. It's so much prettier as a strapless. Looks nicer with my necklace, too."

"Spike's tongue is going to fall out."

"That's the plan!"

"Are you nervous?"

"It's funny. I've been nervous for the last couple of weeks and having to deal with everything but now that it's here, I'm so incredibly calm that I'm sort of freaked out by it. It's...it's right, you know? All the questions and apprehensions I had are completely gone."

"And that's a good thing, right?"

"Oh, it's a great thing but I've been so neurotic about everything and especially the marriage parts that I just assumed that I would still be just as nervous as I have been. But I'm not. It feels so natural to me now."

"Are you glad you waited?"

"Actually, I am, Dawnie. I love him. God, do I love him but I really don't think I would've been able to handle all this a few years ago. I probably wouldn't have been able to handle it last year. But now...now it's simply different. I'm different."

"But you've loved him so I don't really get it."

"Oh, of course I've loved him. Been crazy for him since I saw him but I've been so scared. I thought that if we got married, everything would be ruined. I didn't want to lose him so I thought if I just kept everything as it was, then nothing could be destroyed. It wasn't until Will and Tara were getting married that I realized that marriage didn't always mean ruins, you know? That despite what happened with Mom and Dad and what didn't happen with Xander and Anya, Spike and I are not them. We don't have their relationship. We're stronger together than apart. I'm better with him than without and I'm almost certain he would say the same thing. So, yeah, I knew it but I was too scared of it. Now I'm not. Now it's like I'm looking at everything and I can see it all so clearly. The fog that was there, that refused to leave me for so long, has finally broken up and floated away."

Buffy took a deep breath and looked her sister, giving her a crooked smile. "Sorry, got caught up."

"No, it's good!" Dawn told her. "I'm glad that you're so sure now because that can only mean greatness, right?"

"Well, I tend to think that Spike and I have the market on greatness already so..."

"You know what I mean," Dawn said, lightly slapping at her sister's arm.

"I know and yeah, big greatness."

"So, he wanted me to give you something either tonight or tomorrow morning. When do you want it?"

"Like a gift?"

"Your wedding present, I assume."

"Why didn't he give it to me himself?"

"He thought you would freak."

"See, that's never good. Do you know what it is?"

"No and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Oh, did you give him the tickets?"

"Yes."

"And? Did he flip as I said he would?"

"He...sure, he sure did."

"Ah, apartment time and the missing robe," Dawn nodded, knowingly.

"You be quiet and gimme my present."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Want me to leave?"

"Would you mind?"

Dawn handed her the gift and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Buff."

Buffy smiled at her sister and before she got to respond, Dawn was out the door. Buffy scooted up to the top of her bed, propping up her pillows and leaning back. She turned the box over in her hands, trying to figure it out before she opened it. She smiled and shook her head.

"Screw it."

She ripped open the wrapping and threw it to the side. She carefully opened the flip top of the box and gasped when she saw the matching earrings to her necklace.

"Son of a bitch," she mumbled. She ran her index finger over them and smiled. When did he get so good at lying to her? She could usually tell right away but he had her completely convinced that he hadn't bought them. She should have known better. She should have known he knew her well enough that she would want the earrings, as well. She felt like a complete dork. However, a very pleased dork.

She picked up the phone next to her bed and quickly dialed the number.

"Yeah?" Spike answered, sleepily.

"You sneaky little Englishman."

He laughed heartily and she grinned.

Oh yeah, this was as right as anything could ever be.

-----

tbc


End file.
